It had occurred to her early that in her position — that of a young person spending, in framed and wired confinement1, the life of a guinea-pig or a magpie2 — she should know a great many persons without their recognising the acquaintance. That made it an emotion the more lively — though singularly rare and always, even then, with opportunity still very much smothered3 — to see any one come in whom she knew outside, as she called it, any one who could add anything to the meanness of her function. Her function was to sit there with two young men — the other telegraphist and the counter-clerk; to mind the “sounder,” which was always going, to dole4 out stamps and postal-orders, weigh letters, answer stupid questions, give difficult change and, more than anything else, count words as numberless as the sands of the sea, the words of the telegrams thrust, from morning to night, through the gap left in the high lattice, across the encumbered5 shelf that her forearm ached with rubbing. This transparent6 screen fenced out or fenced in, according to the side of the narrow counter on which the human lot was cast, the duskiest corner of a shop pervaded7 not a little, in winter, by the poison of perpetual gas, and at all times by the presence of hams, cheese, dried fish, soap, varnish8, paraffin and other solids and fluids that she came to know perfectly9 by their smells without consenting to know them by their names.
The barrier that divided the little post-and-telegraph-office from the grocery was a frail10 structure of wood and wire; but the social, the professional separation was a gulf11 that fortune, by a stroke quite remarkable12, had spared her the necessity of contributing at all publicly to bridge. When Mr. Cocker’s young men stepped over from behind the other counter to change a five-pound note — and Mr. Cocker’s situation, with the cream of the “Court Guide” and the dearest furnished apartments, Simpkin’s, Ladle’s, Thrupp’s, just round the corner, was so select that his place was quite pervaded by the crisp rustle13 of these emblems14 — she pushed out the sovereigns as if the applicant15 were no more to her than one of the momentary16, the practically featureless, appearances in the great procession; and this perhaps all the more from the very fact of the connexion (only recognised outside indeed) to which she had lent herself with ridiculous inconsequence. She recognised the others the less because she had at last so unreservedly, so irredeemably, recognised Mr. Mudge. However that might be, she was a little ashamed of having to admit to herself that Mr. Mudge’s removal to a higher sphere — to a more commanding position, that is, though to a much lower neighbourhood — would have been described still better as a luxury than as the mere17 simplification, the corrected awkwardness, that she contented18 herself with calling it. He had at any rate ceased to be all day long in her eyes, and this left something a little fresh for them to rest on of a Sunday. During the three months of his happy survival at Cocker’s after her consent to their engagement she had often asked herself what it was marriage would be able to add to a familiarity that seemed already to have scraped the platter so clean. Opposite there, behind the counter of which his superior stature19, his whiter apron20, his more clustering curls and more present, too present, h’s had been for a couple of years the principal ornament21, he had moved to and fro before her as on the small sanded floor of their contracted future. She was conscious now of the improvement of not having to take her present and her future at once. They were about as much as she could manage when taken separate.
She had, none the less, to give her mind steadily22 to what Mr. Mudge had again written her about, the idea of her applying for a transfer to an office quite similar — she couldn’t yet hope for a place in a bigger — under the very roof where he was foreman, so that, dangled23 before her every minute of the day, he should see her, as he called it, “hourly,” and in a part, the far N.W. district, where, with her mother, she would save on their two rooms alone nearly three shillings. It would be far from dazzling to exchange Mayfair for Chalk Farm, and it wore upon her much that he could never drop a subject; still, it didn’t wear as things had worn, the worries of the early times of their great misery24, her own, her mother’s and her elder sister’s — the last of whom had succumbed25 to all but absolute want when, as conscious and incredulous ladies, suddenly bereft26, betrayed, overwhelmed, they had slipped faster and faster down the steep slope at the bottom of which she alone had rebounded27. Her mother had never rebounded any more at the bottom than on the way; had only rumbled28 and grumbled29 down and down, making, in respect of caps, topics and “habits,” no effort whatever — which simply meant smelling much of the time of whiskey.
1 confinement | |
n.幽禁,拘留,监禁;分娩;限制,局限 | |
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2 magpie | |
n.喜欢收藏物品的人,喜鹊,饶舌者 | |
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3 smothered | |
(使)窒息, (使)透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 ); 覆盖; 忍住; 抑制 | |
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4 dole | |
n.救济,(失业)救济金;vt.(out)发放,发给 | |
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5 encumbered | |
v.妨碍,阻碍,拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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6 transparent | |
adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的 | |
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7 pervaded | |
v.遍及,弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8 varnish | |
n.清漆;v.上清漆;粉饰 | |
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9 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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10 frail | |
adj.身体虚弱的;易损坏的 | |
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11 gulf | |
n.海湾;深渊,鸿沟;分歧,隔阂 | |
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12 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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13 rustle | |
v.沙沙作响;偷盗(牛、马等);n.沙沙声声 | |
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14 emblems | |
n.象征,标记( emblem的名词复数 ) | |
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15 applicant | |
n.申请人,求职者,请求者 | |
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16 momentary | |
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的 | |
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17 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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18 contented | |
adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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19 stature | |
n.(高度)水平,(高度)境界,身高,身材 | |
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20 apron | |
n.围裙;工作裙 | |
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21 ornament | |
v.装饰,美化;n.装饰,装饰物 | |
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22 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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23 dangled | |
悬吊着( dangle的过去式和过去分词 ); 摆动不定; 用某事物诱惑…; 吊胃口 | |
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24 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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25 succumbed | |
不再抵抗(诱惑、疾病、攻击等)( succumb的过去式和过去分词 ); 屈从; 被压垮; 死 | |
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26 bereft | |
adj.被剥夺的 | |
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27 rebounded | |
弹回( rebound的过去式和过去分词 ); 反弹; 产生反作用; 未能奏效 | |
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28 rumbled | |
发出隆隆声,发出辘辘声( rumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 轰鸣着缓慢行进; 发现…的真相; 看穿(阴谋) | |
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29 grumbled | |
抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 发牢骚; 咕哝; 发哼声 | |
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