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LECTURE IX.
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WHIST AS AN INVESTMENT.
——
“None alive can truly tell
What fortune they must see.”—Sedley.

In “the Art of practical Whist” you will see capital invested in Whist compared to consols; don’t run away with the idea that there is any such resemblance; those numerous foreign securities or limited companies nearer home where you receive no interest and lose your principal—or those public conveyances1 suggested by the elder Mr. Weller—would be much closer analogues2.

Whist is not a certainty; neither is it true that you will every year find your account exactly square on the thirty-first of December—it is a popular fallacy devised by those who win, to keep the losers in good spirits.
“Maxima vis est phantasi?.”

An old friend of mine—veracious as men go, and always considered of fairly sound mind and free from delusions3, though a very inferior whist-player—has often assured me that he won over three thousand points for three years running (close on[75] ten thousand in the aggregate4); if this statement is correct, and I have no reason to doubt it—I often played with him, and he almost invariably won—it is manifest that, after paying for the cards, some of us when we called at the bank for our dividends5, must have had to go empty away.

I have played whist—club, domestic, or bumblepuppy—pretty regularly for a quarter of a century, and the only conclusion I have arrived at so far, is the very vague one that I shall either win or lose—I don’t know at all which—for five years in succession, or multiples of five.

For the first ten years I won considerably6, for the next five I lost considerably, then for another five I won slightly, and the last five (I am thankful to say I am now getting well into the fifth) I have lost again.[44]

I have no doubt things equalise themselves in the long run, the difficulty is that I am unable to give you any idea, even approximately, what the duration of a long run is.[45]

[76]

During a part of that first period, extending over a year and a quarter, I played long whist—five points to the bumper7—more than fifty times, and never but once won less than twelve points. If we may believe Herodotus, in his day the end was not always visible from the beginning, and so it is now. I have won rubbers against all the cards, and with all the cards I have lost them.

Sometimes I cannot lose a rubber, sometimes I cannot win one; at one time cards will beat their makers8, at another the makers will beat the cards, and these results occur without rhyme or reason, in defiance9 of any system of play. Don’t imagine for a moment that I suggest play is of no consequence, I merely say that you will frequently see the cards or the players run wild, and that the actual result—winning or losing—is beyond your own control.
“In the reproof10 of chance lies the true proof of man.”—Shakespeare.

I have known twenty-four successive rubbers lost, and I have won seventeen more than once. I have[77] lost nine hundred and thirty points in two months, and a hundred and fifty-four in two days. I have lost a bumper in two deals, holding one trump11 each hand and with the same partner, the same seats, and the same cards won the next rubber but one in two deals, again holding one trump in each hand.

I have seen a player with no trump and no winning card lose a treble, and the very next hand, again with no trump and no winning card—assisted to some extent by his partner—score nine, and on one melancholy12 occasion my partner and myself were unable to raise a trump between us; as a set-off to this, I ought to admit that we once held them all.

Though I have never seen it myself, that the dealer13 should give each member of the parti an entire suit is becoming as common an object of the sea-shore as our old friend the sea-serpent. Fortunately, overpowering cards do not always win. A hand of thirteen trumps14 has been known to make only one trick; it occurred in this wise.

A, B, Y, and Z were playing in a train, and A dealt himself the whole suit of hearts: Y led the king of spades; B played the ace15; Z followed suit, and A ruffed.

B, “an arbitrary gent,” ejaculated “Trump my ace!” at once took up the trick and, with his own twelve cards, threw the lot out of the window.

“The rest is silence.”

I have held three Yarboroughs in two hours (a Yarborough is a hand containing no card above a[78] nine), and a hand with no card above a seven at least twice. There was a hand recently at Surbiton with no card above a six. With ace, knave16, to five trumps, two kings, and trumps led up to me, I have lost by five cards, and with queen, knave, 10, 8, 3, 2, diamonds (trumps), spade king, ace and king of hearts, ace, king, queen and another club, and the original lead, I lost the odd trick; and, most incredible of all, I know a very good player who, on three consecutive17 Saturdays, lost an aggregate of over three hundred points.

I have played a set match, and, although I never bet, as I fancied we had a shade the best of the play, and the other side made the liberal offer of six to four, it tempted18 me, I took it and won five rubbers running. I once cut about the best player I know six times consecutively19. My partner laid six to five to commence with, and as we won the first game—a single—he gave five to two, and that was the only game we won in those six rubbers.

One of the two finest players I ever met lost twenty-eight consecutive rubbers; feeling aggrieved20 at this ill-treatment he swore off for a fortnight, and then lost twelve more.

Busses—not Funds—is much nearer the mark. Irrespective of the time of day, you can either go to bed when you have won two rubbers, or when you have lost them; you can persevere21 to the bitter end either when you are winning or when you are losing; you[79] can take any of the measures mentioned in the last lecture, or adopt any other system you please; but there is one rule with no exception: though no earthly power can prevent your winning or losing, the actual amount of that gain or loss always depends upon yourself and your partner; if you should ever lose eighty or a hundred points at one sitting, that deplorable result will never take place without your active connivance22; a trick lost here and a trick lost there, an exposed card or something of that kind—the consequence is always intensified23 when you are losing—will just make the difference every now and then between winning and losing a rubber.

During the bad forty-eight hours I had when I lost a hundred and fifty-four points, I was attending carefully to the play, the cards were abominable24, and, making no allowances for what might have happened if my partner and I had only been omniscient25, simple little mistakes of the kind just mentioned accounted for thirty-two of those points.

If there is such a thing as luck—and I believe there is—don’t lie down and let it kick you.

Always play with reasonable care and attention:—if a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing well—and when you hold cards which you do not consider quite equal to your deserts, instead of playing worse on that account—as most people do—take a little extra care.

[80]

If your pocket money gives out, or you feel that your cards are too bad for endurance, give up playing altogether; but if you continue to play don’t exacerbate26 your misfortunes by your own shortcomings; it is bad enough to retire to your crib with empty pockets, without a guilty conscience in addition.

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1 conveyances 0867183ba0c6acabb6b8f0bc5e1baa1d     
n.传送( conveyance的名词复数 );运送;表达;运输工具
参考例句:
  • Transport tools from work areas by using hand trucks and other conveyances. 负责用相关运输设备从工作区域运载模具。 来自互联网
  • Railroad trains and buses are public conveyances. 火车和公共汽车是公共交通工具。 来自互联网
2 analogues 297b3cb2dcc81be3444fdfc63ab878f8     
相似物( analogue的名词复数 ); 类似物; 类比; 同源词
参考例句:
  • A vegetarian gets protein not from meat but from its analogues. 素食者所摄取的蛋白质不是来自肉类而是来自近似肉类的食物。
  • Moreover, it tends to foster the human qualities that I admire most-courage and its analogues. 不但如此,它还能培养我最景仰的那些德性-勇敢和诸如此类的东西。
3 delusions 2aa783957a753fb9191a38d959fe2c25     
n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 );谬见;错觉;妄想
参考例句:
  • the delusions of the mentally ill 精神病患者的妄想
  • She wants to travel first-class: she must have delusions of grandeur. 她想坐头等舱旅行,她一定自以为很了不起。 来自辞典例句
4 aggregate cKOyE     
adj.总计的,集合的;n.总数;v.合计;集合
参考例句:
  • The football team had a low goal aggregate last season.这支足球队上个赛季的进球总数很少。
  • The money collected will aggregate a thousand dollars.进帐总额将达一千美元。
5 dividends 8d58231a4112c505163466a7fcf9d097     
红利( dividend的名词复数 ); 股息; 被除数; (足球彩票的)彩金
参考例句:
  • Nothing pays richer dividends than magnanimity. 没有什么比宽宏大量更能得到厚报。
  • Their decision five years ago to computerise the company is now paying dividends. 五年前他们作出的使公司电脑化的决定现在正产生出效益。
6 considerably 0YWyQ     
adv.极大地;相当大地;在很大程度上
参考例句:
  • The economic situation has changed considerably.经济形势已发生了相当大的变化。
  • The gap has narrowed considerably.分歧大大缩小了。
7 bumper jssz8     
n.(汽车上的)保险杠;adj.特大的,丰盛的
参考例句:
  • The painting represents the scene of a bumper harvest.这幅画描绘了丰收的景象。
  • This year we have a bumper harvest in grain.今年我们谷物丰收。
8 makers 22a4efff03ac42c1785d09a48313d352     
n.制造者,制造商(maker的复数形式)
参考例句:
  • The makers of the product assured us that there had been no sacrifice of quality. 这一产品的制造商向我们保证说他们没有牺牲质量。
  • The makers are about to launch out a new product. 制造商们马上要生产一种新产品。 来自《简明英汉词典》
9 defiance RmSzx     
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗
参考例句:
  • He climbed the ladder in defiance of the warning.他无视警告爬上了那架梯子。
  • He slammed the door in a spirit of defiance.他以挑衅性的态度把门砰地一下关上。
10 reproof YBhz9     
n.斥责,责备
参考例句:
  • A smart reproof is better than smooth deceit.严厉的责难胜过温和的欺骗。
  • He is impatient of reproof.他不能忍受指责。
11 trump LU1zK     
n.王牌,法宝;v.打出王牌,吹喇叭
参考例句:
  • He was never able to trump up the courage to have a showdown.他始终鼓不起勇气摊牌。
  • The coach saved his star player for a trump card.教练保留他的明星选手,作为他的王牌。
12 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过,他感到很郁闷。
13 dealer GyNxT     
n.商人,贩子
参考例句:
  • The dealer spent hours bargaining for the painting.那个商人为购买那幅画花了几个小时讨价还价。
  • The dealer reduced the price for cash down.这家商店对付现金的人减价优惠。
14 trumps 22c5470ebcda312e395e4d85c40b03f7     
abbr.trumpets 喇叭;小号;喇叭形状的东西;喇叭筒v.(牌戏)出王牌赢(一牌或一墩)( trump的过去式 );吹号公告,吹号庆祝;吹喇叭;捏造
参考例句:
  • On the day of the match the team turned up trumps. 比赛那天该队出乎意料地获得胜利。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Every time John is late getting home he trumps up some new excuse. 每次约翰晚回家都会编造个新借口。 来自《简明英汉词典》
15 ace IzHzsp     
n.A牌;发球得分;佼佼者;adj.杰出的
参考例句:
  • A good negotiator always has more than one ace in the hole.谈判高手总有数张王牌在手。
  • He is an ace mechanic.He can repair any cars.他是一流的机械师,什么车都会修。
16 knave oxsy2     
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克
参考例句:
  • Better be a fool than a knave.宁做傻瓜,不做无赖。
  • Once a knave,ever a knave.一次成无赖,永远是无赖。
17 consecutive DpPz0     
adj.连续的,联贯的,始终一贯的
参考例句:
  • It has rained for four consecutive days.已连续下了四天雨。
  • The policy of our Party is consecutive.我党的政策始终如一。
18 tempted b0182e969d369add1b9ce2353d3c6ad6     
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词)
参考例句:
  • I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚,但还是没开口。
  • I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。
19 consecutively 8a3a87c7b36569b791fa7c38b06c1a2c     
adv.连续地
参考例句:
  • He was actually too depleted to think consecutively about anything. 他已经打不起一点精神,根本谈不上好好思考一下。 来自辞典例句
  • In any game, the right to serve shall pass consecutively. 在一局中,不错的发球挨次应该是。 来自互联网
20 aggrieved mzyzc3     
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词)
参考例句:
  • He felt aggrieved at not being chosen for the team. 他因没被选到队里感到愤愤不平。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She is the aggrieved person whose fiance&1& did not show up for their wedding. 她很委屈,她的未婚夫未出现在他们的婚礼上。 来自《简明英汉词典》
21 persevere MMCxH     
v.坚持,坚忍,不屈不挠
参考例句:
  • They are determined to persevere in the fight.他们决心坚持战斗。
  • It is strength of character enabled him to persevere.他那坚强的性格使他能够坚持不懈。
22 connivance MYzyF     
n.纵容;默许
参考例句:
  • The criminals could not have escaped without your connivance.囚犯没有你的默契配合,是逃不掉的。
  • He tried to bribe the police into connivance.他企图收买警察放他一马。
23 intensified 4b3b31dab91d010ec3f02bff8b189d1a     
v.(使)增强, (使)加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Violence intensified during the night. 在夜间暴力活动加剧了。
  • The drought has intensified. 旱情加剧了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
24 abominable PN5zs     
adj.可厌的,令人憎恶的
参考例句:
  • Their cruel treatment of prisoners was abominable.他们虐待犯人的做法令人厌恶。
  • The sanitary conditions in this restaurant are abominable.这家饭馆的卫生状况糟透了。
25 omniscient QIXx0     
adj.无所不知的;博识的
参考例句:
  • He's nervous when trying to potray himself as omniscient.当他试图把自己描绘得无所不知时,内心其实很紧张。
  • Christians believe that God is omniscient.基督教徒相信上帝是无所不知的。
26 exacerbate iiAzU     
v.恶化,增剧,激怒,使加剧
参考例句:
  • WMO says a warming climate can exacerbate air pollution.世界气象组织说,气候变暖可能会加剧空气污染。
  • In fact efforts will merely exacerbate the current problem.实际上努力只会加剧当前的问题。


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