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首页 » 儿童英文小说 » 歪歪小学的荒诞故事 Sideways Stories from Wayside School » Chapter 5
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Chapter 5
All of the children in Mrs. Jewls's class, except Todd, were talking and carrying on. Todd was thinking. Todd always thought before he spoke. When he got an idea, his eyes lit up.

Todd finished thinking and began to speak. But before he said two words, Mrs. Jewls called him.

"Todd," she said, "you know better than to talk in class. You must learn to work quietly, like the other children." She wrote his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.

Todd looked around in amazement.
20All of the other children, who had been talking and screaming and fighting only seconds earlier, were quietly working in their workbooks. Todd scratched his head.
A child was given three chances in Mrs. Jewls's class. The first time he did something wrong, Mrs. Jewls wrote his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE. The second time he did something wrong, she put a check next to his name. And the third time he did something wrong, she circled his name.

Todd reached into his desk and pulled out his workbook. He had only just started on it when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. It was Joy.

"What page are you on?" Joy asked.

"Page four," Todd whispered.

"I'm on page eleven," said Joy.

Todd didn't say anything. He didn't want to get into trouble. He just went back to work.

Five minutes later, Joy tapped him again. Todd ignored her. So Joy poked him in the back with her pencil. Todd pretended he didn't notice. Joy got up from her seat and sharpened her pencil. She came back and poked it in Todd's back. "What page are you on?" she asked.

"Page five," Todd answered.

"Boy, are you dumb," said Joy. "I'm on page twenty-nine."

"It isn't a race," Todd whispered.

Five minutes later Joy pulled Todd's hair and didn't let go until he turned around. "What page are you on?" she demanded.

"Page six," Todd answered as quietly as he could.

"I'M ON PAGE TWO HUNDRED!" Joy shouted.
21Todd was very angry. "Will you please let me do my work and stop bothering me!"
Mrs. Jewls heard him. "Todd, what did I say about talking in class?"

Todd scratched his head.

Mrs. Jewls put a check next to Todd's name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.

Todd really tried to be good. He knew that if he talked one more time, Mrs. Jewls would circle his name. Then he'd have to go home early, at twelve o'clock, on the kindergarten bus, just as he had the day before and the day before that. In fact, there hadn't been a day since Mrs. Jewls took over the class that she didn't send Todd home early. She said she did it for his own good. The other children went home at two o'clock.

Todd wasn't really bad. He just always got caught. He really wanted to stay past twelve o'clock. He wanted to find out what the class did from twelve to two. But it didn't look as though this was going to be his day. It was only ten-thirty, and he already had two strikes against him. He sealed his lips and went back to work.

There was a knock on the door. Mrs. Jewls opened it. Two men stepped in wearing masks and holding guns. "Give us all your money!" they demanded.

"All I have is a nickel," said Mrs. Jewls.

"I have a dime," said Maurecia.

"I have thirteen cents," said Leslie.

"I have four cents," said Dameon.

"What kind of bank is this?" asked one of the robbers.

"It's not a bank, it's a school," said Todd. "Can't you read?"
22"No," said the robbers.
"Neither can I," said Todd.

"Do you mean we walked all the way up thirty flights of stairs for nothing?" asked the robber. "Don't you have anything valuable?"

Todd's eyes lit up. "We sure do," he said. "We have knowledge." He grabbed Joy's workbook and gave it to the robbers. "Knowledge is much more valuable than money."

"Thanks, kid," said one of the robbers.

"Maybe I'll give up being a criminal and become a scientist," said the other.

They left the room without hurting anybody.

"Now I don't have a workbook," complained Joy.

Mrs. Jewls gave her a new one. Joy had to start all the way back at the beginning.

"Hey, Joy, what page are you on?" asked Todd.

"Page one," Joy sighed.

"I'm on page eight," laughed Todd triumphantly.

Mrs. Jewls heard him. She circled his name. Todd had three strikes against him. At twelve o'clock he left the room to go home early on the kindergarten bus.

But this time when he left, he was like a star baseball player leaving the field. All the children stood up, clapped their hands, and whistled.

Todd scratched his head.


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