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首页 » 儿童英文小说 » 歪歪小学的荒诞故事 Sideways Stories from Wayside School » Chapter 4
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Chapter 4
Sharie had long eyelashes. She weighed only forty-nine pounds. She always wore a big red and blue overcoat with a hood. The overcoat weighed thirty-five pounds. The red part weighed fifteen pounds, the blue part weighed fifteen pounds, and the hood weighed five pounds. Her eyelashes weighed a pound and a half.

She sat next to the window in Mrs. Jewls's class. She spent a lot of time just staring out the window. Mrs. Jewls didn't mind. Mrs. Jewls said that a lot of people learn best when they stare out a window.

Sharie often fell asleep in class. Mrs. Jewls didn'tmind that, either.
17She said that a lot of people do their best learning when they are asleep.
Sharie spent all of her time either looking out the window or sleeping. Mrs. Jewls thought she was the best student in the class.

One afternoon it was very hot. All of the windows were open, yet Sharie still wore her red and blue overcoat. The heat made her very tired. Mrs. Jewls was teaching arithmetic. Sharie pulled the hood up over her face, buried herself in the coat, and went to sleep.

"Mrs. Jewls," said Kathy, "Sharie is asleep."

"That's good," said Mrs. Jewls. "She must be learning something."

Mrs. Jewls continued with the lesson.

Sharie began to snore.

"Mrs. Jewls, Sharie is snoring," said Kathy.

"Yes, I can hear her," said Mrs. Jewls. "She must be learning an awful lot today. I wish the rest of you could be like her."

Sharie began to toss and turn. She flopped over on top of her desk, and then rolled over on top of Kathy's desk. Then she rolled back the other way. Kathy screamed. Sharie rolled out the window. She was still sound asleep.

As you know, Mrs. Jewls's class was on the thirtieth story of Wayside School. So Sharie had a long way to go.

After she had fallen ten stories, Sharie woke up. She looked around. She was confused. She wasn't in Mrs. Jewls's class, and she wasn't at home in bed. She couldn't figure out where she was.
18She yawned, pulled the hood back over her eyes, and went back to sleep. By that time she had fallen another ten stories.
Wayside School had an exceptionally large playground. Louis, the yard teacher, was way over on the other side of it when he happened to see Sharie fall out the window. He ducked under the volleyball net, hurtled past the kickball field, hopped over the hopscotch court, climbed through the monkey bars, sped across the grass, and caught Sharie just before she hit the ground.

The people in Mrs. Jewls's class cheered.

Sharie woke up in Louis's arms.

"Darn it, Louis," she said. "What did you go and wake me up for?"

"I'm sorry, Sharie," said Louis.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sharie repeated. "Is that all you can say? I was having a wonderful dream until you woke me up. You're always bothering me, Louis. I can't stand it." She laughed and hugged him around the neck.

Louis carried her back up thirty flights of stairs to Mrs. Jewls's room.

That evening, when Sharie went to bed, she was unable to fall asleep. She just wasn't tired.


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