29. The Lost Ear 丢失的耳朵

Mrs. Jewls was teaching¹ the class about mammals. "All mammals have hair," she said.

Bebe raised her hand. "Is my father a mammal?" she asked.

"Yes, all people are mammals," said Mrs. Jewls.

"But my father doesn't have any hair," said Bebe. "He's bald!"

Everybody laughed.

Benjamin stared down at his desk top. He was very determined². Mrs. Jewls would be handing out

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report cards at the end of the week. He had to tell her his real name before then.

He raised his hand.

But Mac also had his hand raised.

"Yes, Mac," said Mrs. Jewls.

"I heard about a man who was getting his hair cut," said Mac. "And the barber³ cut off one of the man's ears! See, the man had very long hair. I think he was a hippie. So the barber couldn't see his ear until it fell on the floor."

"Thank you, Mac," said Mrs. Jewls. "That was a very interesting story."

"I'm not finished," said Mac. "When the barber saw the ear on the floor, he said, 'Is that your ear on the floor?' And then the hippie said 'What? I can't hear you.' So the barber showed him his ear; then he called an ambulance to take the hippie to the hospital."

"Were they able to put his ear back on?" asked Todd.

"Well, see," said Mac, "the doctors were all set to sew it to his head. They were in the operating room and everything. But suddenly they couldn't find the ear. Man, they looked everywhere for it!"

"Did they look under the operating table?" asked Joy.

"Yep," said Mac. "It wasn't there."

"How about in the bathroom?" asked Eric Bacon. "Maybe they lost it when they washed their hands."

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"They looked, but it wasn't there," said Mac.

"Did they leave it at the barbershop?" asked Jenny.

"Nope."

"Did they ever find it?" asked Allison.

"Yes," said Mac, "but you'll never guess where!"

"In the refrigerator," grumbled⁴ Mrs. Jewls.

"No, how would it get there?" asked Mac.

"Well, we really need to get back to mammals," said Mrs. Jewls. "Yes, Mark."

Benjamin lowered his hand. "My name's not Mark," he said. "My name really is Benjamin. Benjamin Nushmutt! And I came from Hempleton, not Magadonia."

"Fine," said Mrs. Jewls. "But we were talking about mammals. Now the whale is the largest mammal. Even though it lives in the ocean, it is still a mammal, not a fish."

"Do whales have hair?" asked John.

"Yes," said Mrs. Jewls.

Dana laughed. "A whale with pigtails!" she exclaimed⁵.

"Boy, I'd love to pull one of those!" said Paul.

Benjamin couldn't believe it. "Didn't you hear what I just said?" he asked.

"Yes, Benjamin," said Mrs. Jewls.

"Well, don't you think I'm strange?" asked Benjamin. "All this time you've been calling me by the

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wrong name, and I never told you? Don't you think I'm crazy?"

"No," said Mrs. Jewls.

Benjamin was getting upset. "Well, don't you think it's a stupid name? Benjamin Nush-mutt!" He looked around at his classmates. "Doesn't anybody think I'm weird⁶?"

"No, you're not weird!" said Sharie. "I'll tell you what's weird. What's weird is bringing a hobo to school for show-and-tell. I'm the one who's weird."

"That's not weird!" said Bebe. "What's weird is telling everyone you have a brother when you don't. I'm the weirdo!"

"You call that weird?" exclaimed Stephen. "7'm weird. Who else would choke himself just to look nice?"

"That's not weird," said Jenny. "That's normal. Try reading a story backward. That's weird. I'm the weird one in this class."

"That's a laugh!" said Rondi. "If you're so weird, then how come you never asked Louis to kick you in the teeth? I'm the one who's crazy!"

"No, that's not crazy," said Todd. "Ill tell you what's crazy. What's crazy is that we all go to school on the thirtieth floor, and the bathrooms are way down on the first!"

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Everyone agreed with that, even Mrs. Jewls.

Benjamin shook his head. What a bunch of weirdos! he thought. Then he smiled. He felt proud to be in a class where nobody was strange because nobody was normal.

"Oh, this must be your lunch," said Mrs. Jewls. She gave Benjamin the white paper sack⁷ that had been sitting on her desk since Benjamin's first day of school.

At lunch Allison headed down the stairs. "Mark!" she exclaimed.

"Hi, Allison," said Mark Miller⁸. "Long time no see." He carried a white paper sack just like Benjamin's.

Allison was afraid she was back on the nineteenth story.

"Don't worry," said Mark. "Suddenly everyone realized my name was Mark Miller and not Benjamin Nushmutt. And then Miss Zarves gave me this bag and told me to take it to the hospital."

"Is it your lunch?" asked Allison.

"Look inside," said Mark. He handed her the bag.

Allison looked inside.

There was an ear.

Allison's eyes lit up. "Oh, now I get it!" she exclaimed. "I understand everything! There is no Miss Zarves! See, Mac was talking about the ear, then Mark Miller, I mean Benjamin Nushmutt, said

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his name wasn't Mark Miller, so that means you-"

"What?" asked Mark.

Allison suddenly looked very confused. "Never mind," she mumbled⁹.

For just a second Allison had understood everything, but then she lost it.

1 teaching   

n.教学，执教，任教，讲授；(复数)教诲

参考例句：

• We all agree in adopting the new teaching method. 我们一致同意采取新的教学方法。
• He created a new system of teaching foreign languages.他创造了一种新的外语教学体系。

2 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

3 barber   

n.理发员，美容师

参考例句：

• She asked the barber to crop her hair short.她叫理发师把她的头发剪短了。
• My Mum took me to the barber's.我妈带我理发去了。

4 grumbled   

抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声

参考例句：

• He grumbled at the low pay offered to him. 他抱怨给他的工资低。
• The heat was sweltering, and the men grumbled fiercely over their work. 天热得让人发昏，水手们边干活边发着牢骚。

5 exclaimed   

vt.exclaim的过去式v.呼喊，惊叫，大声说( exclaim的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• "We have a good chance of winning," he exclaimed optimistically. “我们很可能获胜。”他乐观地喊道。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She exclaimed in delight when she saw the presents. 她见到礼品高兴得叫了起来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

7 sack   

n.袋子，劫掠；vt.解雇，劫掠，把...装入袋子

参考例句：

• They made him pay for his offence by giving him the sack.他们解雇了他，从而使他因自己的过错而受到了惩罚。
• If you're late again tomorrow,you'll get the sack!如果你明天再迟到，那就卷铺盖走吧！

8 miller   

n.磨坊主

参考例句：

• Every miller draws water to his own mill.磨坊主都往自己磨里注水。
• The skilful miller killed millions of lions with his ski.技术娴熟的磨坊主用雪橇杀死了上百万头狮子。

9 mumbled   

含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He mumbled something to me which I did not quite catch. 他对我叽咕了几句话，可我没太听清楚。
• George mumbled incoherently to himself. 乔治语无伦次地喃喃自语。