“Rather him than me,” drawled a passenger on the box, without removing his cigar from his mouth.
“It’s true for all that,” returned Ned, with a nod of his head equal to an affidavit4.
[Pg 5]
“The shaft run in under one armpit, right up to the tug5, and out again at t’other besides pinning him to the wall of the stable—and that’s a thing such as don’t happen every day.”
“Lucky it don’t,” said the smoker6, between two puffs8 of his cigar.
“It an’t likely to come often,” resumed Ned, “let alone the getting over it afterwards, which is the wonderfullest part of it all. To see him bowling9 along there, he don’t look like a man pinned to a stable-wall with the rod through him, right up to the tug—do he?”
“Can’t say he does,” said the smoker.
“For my part,” said Ned, “or indeed any man’s part, most people in such a case would have said, it’s all up with me, and good reason why, as I said afore, with a shaft clean through your inside, right up to the tug—and two inches besides into the stable wall, by way of a benefit. But somehow he always stuck to it—not the wall, you know—but his own opinion, that he should get over it—he was as firm as flints about that—and sure enough the event came off exactly.”
“The better for him,” said the smoker.
“I don’t know the rights on it,” said Ned, “for I warn’t there—but they do say when he was dextricated from the rod, there was a regular tunnel through him, and in course the greatest danger was of his ketching cold in the lungs from the thorough draught10.”
“Nothing more likely,” said the fumigator11.
“Howsomever,” continued Ned,
[Pg 6]
“he was cured by Dr. Maiden12 of Stratford, who give him lots of physic to provoke his stomach, and make him eat hearty13; and by taking his feeds well,—warm mashes14 at first, and then hard meat, in course of time he filled up. Nobody hardly believed it, though, when they see him about on his legs again—myself for one—but he always said he would overcome it, and he was as good as his word. If that an’t game, I don’t know what is.”
“No more do I,” said the man with the Havannah.
“I don’t know the philosophy on it,” resumed Ned, “but it’s a remark of mine about recovering, if a man says he will, he will,—and if he says he won’t, he won’t—you may book that for certain. Mayhap a good pluck helps the wounds in healing kindly,—but so it is, for I’ve observed it. You’ll see one man with hardly a scratch on his face, and says he, I’m done for—and he turns out quite correct—while another as is cut to ribbons will say—never mind,—I’m good for another round, and so he proves, particularly if he’s one of your small farmers. I’ll give you a reason why.”
“Now then,” said the smoker.
“My reason is,” replied Ned, “that they’re all as hard as nails—regular pebbles16 for game. They take more thrashing than their own corn, and that’s saying something. They’re all fortitude17, and nothing else. Talk about punishment! nothing comes amiss to ’em, from butt-ends of whips and brickbats down to bludgeons loaded with lead. You can’t hurt their feelings. They’re jist like badgers18, the more you welt ’em the more they grin, and when it’s over, maybe a turn-up at a cattle fair, or a stop by footpads, they’ll go home to their missises all over blood and wounds as cool and comfortable as cowcumbers, with holes in their heads enough to scarify a whole hospital of army surgeons.”
“The very thing Scott has characterised,” I ventured to observe, “in the person of honest Dandie.”
“Begging your pardon, Sir,” said Ned,
[Pg 7]
“I know Farmer Scott very well, and he’s anything but a dandy. I was just a going to bring forward, as one of the trumps19, a regular out-and-outer. We become friends through an axident. It was a darkish night, you see, and him a little lushy or so, making a bit of a swerve20 in his going towards the middle of the road, before you could cry Snacks! I was over him with the old Regulator.”
“Good God!” exclaimed my left-hand companion on the roof. “Was not the poor fellow hurt?”
“Why, not much for HIM,” answered Ned, with a very decided21 emphasis on the pronoun. “Though it would have been a quietus for nine men out of ten, and, as the Jews say, Take your pick of the basket. But he looked queer at first, and shook himself, and made a wryish face, like a man that hadn’t got the exact bit of the joint22 he preferred.”
“Looked queer!” ejaculated the compassionate23 passenger, “he must have looked dreadful! I remember the Regulator, one of the oldest and heaviest vehicles on the road. But of course you picked him up, and got him inside, and——”
“Quite the reverse,” answered Ned, quietly, “and far from it; he picked himself up, quite independent, and wouldn’t even accept a lift on the box. He only felt about his head a bit, and then his back, and his arms, and his thighs24, and his lines, and after that he guv a nod, and says he, ‘all right,’ and away he toddled25.”
“I can’t credit it,” exclaimed the man on the roof.
“That’s jist what his wife said,” replied Ned, with considerable composure, in spite of the slur26 on his veracity27. “Let alone two black eyes, and his collar bone, and the broke rib15, he’d a hole in his head, with a flint sticking in it bigger than any one you can find since Macadaming. But he made so light on it all, and not being very clear besides in his notions, I’m blest if he didn’t tell her he’d only been knockt down by a man with a truck!”
“Not a bad story,” said the smoker on the box.
I confess I made internally a parallel remark. Naturally robust28 as my faith is, I could not, as Hamlet says, let “Belief lay hold of me,” with the coachman’s narrative29 in his hand, like a copy of a writ30. I am no stranger, indeed, to the peculiar31
[Pg 8]
hardihood of our native yeomanry; but Ned, in his zeal32 for their credit, had certainly overdrawn33 the truth. As to his doctrine34 of presentiments35, it had never been one of the subjects of my speculations36; but on a superficial view, it appeared to me improbable that life or death, in cases of casualty, could be predetermined with such certainty as he had averred37; and particularly as I happen to know a certain lady, who has been accepting the Bills of Mortality at two months’ date, for many years past—but has never honoured them when due. It was fated, however, that honest Ned was to be confirmed in his theories and corroborated38 in his facts.
We had scarcely trotted39 half a mile in meditative40 silence, when we overtook a sturdy pedestrian, who was pacing the breadth as well as the length of the road, rather more like a land surveyor than a mere41 traveller. He evidently belonged to the agricultural class, which Ned had distinguished42 by the title of Small Farmers. Like Scott’s Liddesdale yeoman, he wore a shaggy dreadnought, below which you saw two well-fatted calves43, penned in a pair of huge top-boots—the tops and the boots being of such different shades of brown as you may observe in two arable44 fields of various soil, a rich loam45 and a clay. In his hand he carried a formidable knotted club-stick, and a member of the Heralds’ College would have set him down at once a tenant46 of the Earl of Leicester, he looked so like a bear with a ragged47 staff.
I observed that Ned seemed anxious. One of his leaders was a bolter, and his wheelers were far from steady; and the man ahead walked not quite so straightly as if he had been ploughing a furrow48. We were almost upon him—Ned gave a sharp halloo—the man looked back, and wavered. A minute decided the matter. He escaped Scylla, but Charybdis yawned for him—in plain prose, he cleared the Rocket, but contrived49 to get under the broad wheel of a Warwickshire waggon50, which was passing
[Pg 9]
in the opposite direction. There was still a chance,—even a fly-waggon may be stopped without much notice—but the waggoner was inside, sweethearting with three maids that were going to Coventry. Every voice cried out Woh! but the right one. The horses plodded51 on—the wheels rumbled—the bells jingled—we all thought a knell52.
Ned instantly pulled up, with his team upon their haunches—we all alighted, and in a moment the sixteen the Rocket was licensed53 to carry were at the fatal spot. In the midst of the circle lay, what we considered a bundle of last linen54 just come home from the mangle55.
“That’s a dead un,” said the smoker, throwing away as he spoke56 the butt-end of a cigar.
“Poor wretch57,” exclaimed the humane58 man from the roof, “what a shocking spectacle!”
“It’s over his chest,” said I.
“It’s all over,” said the passenger on my right.
“And a happy release,” said a lady on my left; “he must have been a cripple for life.”
“He can’t have a whole rib in his body,” said a man from the dicky.
“Hall to hattums,” said a gentleman from the inside.
“The worst I ever see, and I’ve had the good luck to see many,” said the guard.
“No, he can’t get over that,” said Ned himself.
To our astonishment59, however, the human mass still breathed. After a long sigh it opened one eye—the right—then the other—the mouth gasped—the tongue moved—and at last even spoke, though in disjointed syllables60.
“We’re nigh—hand—an’t we—the nine—milestun?”
“Yes—yes—close to it,” answered a dozen voices, and one in its bewilderment asked, “Do you live there?” but was set right by the sufferer himself.
[Pg 10]
“No—a mile fudder.”
“Where is there a surgeon?” asked the humane man, “I will ride off for him on one of the leaders.”
“Better not,” said the phlegmatic61 smoker, who had lighted a fresh cigar with some German tinder and a lucifer—“not used to saddle—may want a surgeon yourself.”
“Is there never a doctor among the company?” inquired the guard.
“I am a medical man,” replied a squat62 vulgar-looking personage. “I sell Morison’s pills—but I haven’t any about me.”
“Glad of it,” said the smoker, casting a long puff7 in the other’s face.
“THIS IS THE TIME WHEN CHURCH-YARDS YAWN.”
“Poor wretch!” sighed the compassionate man. “He is beyond human aid. Heaven help the widow and the fatherless—he looks like a family man!”
“I were not to blaame,” said the waggoner.
[Pg 11]
“The woife and childerin can’t coom upon I.”
“Does anyone know who he is?” inquired the coachman, but there was no answer.
“Maybe the gemman has a card or summut,” said the gentleman from the inside.
“Is there no house near?” inquired the lady.
“For to get a shutter63 off on,” added the gentleman.
“Ought we not to procure64 a postchaise,” inquired a gentleman’s footman.
“Or a shell, in case,” suggested the man from the dicky.
“Shell be hanged!” said the sufferer, in a tone that made us all jump a yard backward. “Stick me up agin the milestun—there, easy does it—that’s comfortable—and now tell me, and no nonsense,—be I flat?”
“A little pancakey,” said the man with the cigar.
“I say,” repeated the sufferer, with some earnestness, “be I flat—quite flat—as flat like as a sheet of paper? Yes or no?”
“No, no, no,” burst from sixteen voices at once, and the assurance seemed to take as great a load off his mind as had lately passed over his body. By an effort he contrived to get up and sit upon the milestone65, from which he waved us a good-bye, accompanied by the following words:—
“Gentlefolk, my best thanks and my sarvice to you, and a pleasant journey. Don’t consarn yourselves about me, for there’s nothing dangerous. I shall do well, I know I shall; and I’ll tell you what I’ll go upon—if I bean’t flat I shall get round.”
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收听单词发音
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1
enquired
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| 打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 )； 询问； 问问题； 查问 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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3
shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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4
affidavit
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| n.宣誓书 | |
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tug
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| v.用力拖(或拉)；苦干；n.拖；苦干；拖船 | |
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smoker
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| n.吸烟者，吸烟车厢，吸烟室 | |
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puff
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| n.一口(气)；一阵(风)；v.喷气，喘气 | |
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8
puffs
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| n.吸( puff的名词复数 )；（烟斗或香烟的）一吸；一缕（烟、蒸汽等）；（呼吸或风的）呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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bowling
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| n.保龄球运动 | |
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10
draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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11
fumigator
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| 熏蒸消毒器，烟熏器 | |
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12
maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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13
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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14
mashes
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| （水、谷物等混合而成的）糊状物( mash的名词复数 ) | |
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rib
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| n.肋骨，肋状物 | |
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16
pebbles
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| [复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 ) | |
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17
fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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18
badgers
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| n.獾( badger的名词复数 )；獾皮；（大写）獾州人（美国威斯康星州人的别称）；毛鼻袋熊 | |
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19
trumps
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| abbr.trumpets 喇叭；小号；喇叭形状的东西；喇叭筒v.（牌戏）出王牌赢（一牌或一墩）( trump的过去式 )；吹号公告，吹号庆祝；吹喇叭；捏造 | |
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20
swerve
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| v.突然转向，背离；n．转向，弯曲，背离 | |
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21
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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22
joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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23
compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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24
thighs
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| n.股，大腿( thigh的名词复数 )；食用的鸡（等的）腿 | |
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25
toddled
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| v.（幼儿等）东倒西歪地走( toddle的过去式和过去分词 )；蹒跚行走；溜达；散步 | |
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26
slur
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| v.含糊地说；诋毁；连唱；n.诋毁；含糊的发音 | |
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27
veracity
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| n.诚实 | |
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28
robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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29
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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writ
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| n.命令状，书面命令 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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32
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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33
overdrawn
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| 透支( overdraw的过去分词 )； (overdraw的过去分词) | |
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34
doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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35
presentiments
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| n.（对不祥事物的）预感( presentiment的名词复数 ) | |
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36
speculations
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| n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 )；思考；投机活动；推断 | |
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37
averred
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| v.断言( aver的过去式和过去分词 )；证实；证明…属实；作为事实提出 | |
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38
corroborated
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| v.证实，支持（某种说法、信仰、理论等）( corroborate的过去式 ) | |
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39
trotted
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| 小跑，急走( trot的过去分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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40
meditative
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| adj.沉思的，冥想的 | |
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41
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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42
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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43
calves
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| n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子，腓；腿肚子( calf的名词复数 )；牛犊；腓；小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 )；（冰川）崩解；生（小牛等），产（犊）；使（冰川）崩解 | |
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44
arable
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| adj.可耕的，适合种植的 | |
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45
loam
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| n.沃土 | |
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46
tenant
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| n.承租人；房客；佃户；v.租借，租用 | |
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47
ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的 | |
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48
furrow
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| n.沟；垄沟；轨迹；车辙；皱纹 | |
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49
contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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50
waggon
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| n.运货马车，运货车；敞篷车箱 | |
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51
plodded
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| v.沉重缓慢地走（路）( plod的过去式和过去分词 )；努力从事；沉闷地苦干；缓慢进行（尤指艰难枯燥的工作） | |
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52
knell
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| n.丧钟声；v.敲丧钟 | |
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53
licensed
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| adj.得到许可的v.许可，颁发执照(license的过去式和过去分词) | |
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54
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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55
mangle
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| vt.乱砍，撕裂，破坏，毁损，损坏，轧布 | |
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56
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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57
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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58
humane
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| adj.人道的，富有同情心的 | |
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59
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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60
syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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61
phlegmatic
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| adj.冷静的，冷淡的，冷漠的，无活力的 | |
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62
squat
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| v.蹲坐，蹲下；n.蹲下；adj.矮胖的，粗矮的 | |
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63
shutter
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| n.百叶窗；(照相机)快门；关闭装置 | |
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64
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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65
milestone
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| n.里程碑；划时代的事件 | |
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