A CHINESE PUZZLE.

“A very simple one, Sir,” returned the other.
[Pg 143]
 “The facts are briefly¹ these: my maternal² uncle had lately returned from India with an immense fortune, a handsome portion of which was my own in expectance, on no worse authority than his own promise. He was a widower³ with an only daughter, with whom, and himself, I one evening found myself in the carriage, on our way to a dinner-party given by a nobleman, then intimately connected with East Indian affairs. We were very late: and my uncle, the Nabob, who rode backward, was extremely fidgety, insisting that we were going beyond our destination. Every other minute he was thrusting his head out of the front window to dispute with the coachman, who in truth, was a little less sober, and more obstinate⁴, than became him. And so we went onwards, till my uncle’s temper, always irritable⁵, was worked up almost to combustion⁶. In such moods he was rather apt to give vent⁷ to serio-comic ebullitions; and my ill-fortune has gifted me with risible⁸ muscles of exquisite⁹ sensibility. I was in the very midst of an ill-smothered laugh, when my fair cousin, giving me a sudden push, and then clasping her hands, exclaimed that we were going past the house. I instantly jumped up and made for the check-string, but with no more effect than if I had pulled at anything else. Gracious Heaven! I had better have pulled the string of a shower-bath, full of scalding hot water, to pour itself on my devoted¹⁰ head!—By that one infernal pull, Sir, I pulled myself out of half a plum!”
“A sad pull, indeed, Sir!” said the florid plump man in black. “But—humph—begging your pardon, Sir, I cannot really derive¹¹ any such deduction¹² from the premises¹³.”
 
“A SPLIT WITH DUCROW.”
“A moment’s patience, Sir,” continued the unfortunate coach-stopper.
[Pg 144]
 “Lord forbid check-strings¹⁴,—Lord forbid all strings whatever! I was in despair, Sir. I could have sunk through the bottom of the carriage!—I believe I went down on my knees. I said everything I could think of—and begged fifty thousand pardons, but my uncle was obdurate¹⁵. ‘Pray don’t mention it,’ he said, in his most caustic¹⁶ tone—‘it has saved me fifty thousand pounds. It’s a very good practical joke, although it will not read quite so well in my will.’”
“But surely, Sir,” objected the plump man, “your uncle never acted on a conclusion, jumped to, as I may say, by such very imperfect inferences?”
“You did not know my uncle, Sir,” answered the unfortunate kinsman¹⁷, with a deep sigh. “But you shall judge of his character from the clause itself:—Item, I give and bequeath to my jocose¹⁸ nephew, Arthur Carruthers Oliphant, for pulling his uncle’s pigtail, the sum of one shilling, sterling¹⁹.”
THE UNDYING ONE.
“He shall not die.”—Uncle Toby.
I.
OF all the verses, grave or gay,
That ever whiled an hour,
I never knew a mingled²⁰ lay
At once so sweet and sour,
As that by Ladye Norton spun²¹,
And christened “The Undying One.”
II.
I’m very certain that she drew
A portrait, when she penn’d
That picture of a perfect Jew,
Whose days will never end:
I’m sure it means my Uncle Lunn,
For he is an Undying One.
[Pg 145]
III.
Those twenty years he’s been the same,
And may be twenty more;
But Memory’s Pleasures only claim
His features for a score;
Yet in that time the change is none—
The image of th’ Undying One!

1 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

2 maternal   

adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的

参考例句：

• He is my maternal uncle.他是我舅舅。
• The sight of the hopeless little boy aroused her maternal instincts.那个绝望的小男孩的模样唤起了她的母性。

3 widower   

n.鳏夫

参考例句：

• George was a widower with six young children.乔治是个带著六个小孩子的鳏夫。
• Having been a widower for many years,he finally decided to marry again.丧偶多年后，他终于决定二婚了。

4 obstinate   

adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的

参考例句：

• She's too obstinate to let anyone help her.她太倔强了，不会让任何人帮她的。
• The trader was obstinate in the negotiation.这个商人在谈判中拗强固执。

5 irritable   

adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的

参考例句：

• He gets irritable when he's got toothache.他牙一疼就很容易发脾气。
• Our teacher is an irritable old lady.She gets angry easily.我们的老师是位脾气急躁的老太太。她很容易生气。

6 combustion   

n.燃烧；氧化；骚动

参考例句：

• We might be tempted to think of combustion.我们也许会联想到氧化。
• The smoke formed by their combustion is negligible.由它燃烧所生成的烟是可忽略的。

7 vent   

n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄

参考例句：

• He gave vent to his anger by swearing loudly.他高声咒骂以发泄他的愤怒。
• When the vent became plugged,the engine would stop.当通风口被堵塞时，发动机就会停转。

8 risible   

adj.能笑的；可笑的

参考例句：

• The entire proposal is risible.这个建议完全是荒唐可笑的。
• He drew a risible picture on the wall.他在墙上画了一张滑稽的画。

9 exquisite   

adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的

参考例句：

• I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
• I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。

10 devoted   

adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的

参考例句：

• He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
• We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。

11 derive   

v.取得；导出；引申；来自；源自；出自

参考例句：

• We derive our sustenance from the land.我们从土地获取食物。
• We shall derive much benefit from reading good novels.我们将从优秀小说中获得很大好处。

12 deduction   

n.减除，扣除，减除额；推论，推理，演绎

参考例句：

• No deduction in pay is made for absence due to illness.因病请假不扣工资。
• His deduction led him to the correct conclusion.他的推断使他得出正确的结论。

13 premises   

n.建筑物，房屋

参考例句：

• According to the rules,no alcohol can be consumed on the premises.按照规定，场内不准饮酒。
• All repairs are done on the premises and not put out.全部修缮都在家里进行，不用送到外面去做。

14 strings   

n.弦

参考例句：

• He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上，随意地拨着吉他的弦。
• She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。

15 obdurate   

adj.固执的，顽固的

参考例句：

• He is obdurate in his convictions.他执着于自己所坚信的事。
• He remained obdurate,refusing to alter his decision.他依然固执己见，拒不改变决定。

16 caustic   

adj.刻薄的，腐蚀性的

参考例句：

• He opened his mouth to make a caustic retort.他张嘴开始进行刻薄的反击。
• He enjoys making caustic remarks about other people.他喜欢挖苦别人。

17 kinsman   

n.男亲属

参考例句：

• Tracing back our genealogies,I found he was a kinsman of mine.转弯抹角算起来他算是我的一个亲戚。
• A near friend is better than a far dwelling kinsman.近友胜过远亲。

18 jocose   

adj.开玩笑的，滑稽的

参考例句：

• Dr. Daniel was a gleg man of a jocose nature.丹尼尔大夫是一位天生诙谐而反应机敏的人。
• His comic dialogues are jocose and jocular,thought-provoking.他的小品诙谐，逗乐，发人深省。

19 sterling   

adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑)

参考例句：

• Could you tell me the current rate for sterling, please?能否请您告诉我现行英国货币的兑换率？
• Sterling has recently been strong,which will help to abate inflationary pressures.英国货币最近非常坚挺，这有助于减轻通胀压力。

20 mingled   

混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系]

参考例句：

• The sounds of laughter and singing mingled in the evening air. 笑声和歌声交织在夜空中。
• The man and the woman mingled as everyone started to relax. 当大家开始放松的时候，这一男一女就开始交往了。

21 spun   

v.纺，杜撰，急转身

参考例句：

• His grandmother spun him a yarn at the fire.他奶奶在火炉边给他讲故事。
• Her skilful fingers spun the wool out to a fine thread.她那灵巧的手指把羊毛纺成了细毛线。