CHAPTER I MOTHERLESS

 When the children clamour for a story, my wife says to me, "Tell them how you bought a flat iron for a farthing." Which I very gladly do; for three reasons. In the first place, it is about myself, and so I take an interest in it. Secondly¹, it is about some one very dear to me, as will appear hereafter. Thirdly, it is the only original story in my somewhat limited collection, and I am naturally rather proud of the favour with which it is invariably received. I think it was the foolish fancy of my dear wife and children combined that this most veracious² history should be committed to paper. It was either because—being so unused to authorship—I had no notion of composition, and was troubled by a tyro³ tendency to stray from my subject; or because the part played by the flat iron, though important, was small; or because I and my affairs were most chiefly interesting to myself as writer, and my family as readers; or from a combination of all these reasons together, that my tale outgrew⁴ its first title and we had to add a second, and call it "Some Passages in the Life of an only Son."[2]

 

Yes, I was an only son. I was an only child also, speaking as the world speaks, and not as Wordsworth's "simple child" spoke⁵. But let me rather use the "little maid's" reckoning, and say that I have, rather than that I had, a sister. "Her grave is green, it may be seen." She peeped into the world, and we called her Alice; then she went away again and took my mother with her. It was my first great, bitter grief.

 

I remember well the day when I was led with much mysterious solemnity to see my new sister. She was then a week old.

 

"You must be quiet, sir," said Mrs. Bundle, a new member of our establishment, "and not on no account make no noise to disturb your dear, pretty mamma."

 

Repressed by this accumulation of negatives, as well as by the size and dignity of Mrs. Bundle's outward woman, I went a-tiptoe under her large shadow to see my new acquisition.

 

Very young children are not always pretty, but my sister was beautiful beyond the wont⁶ of babies. It is an old simile⁷, but she was like a beautiful painting of a cherub⁸. Her little face wore an expression seldom seen except on a few faces of those who have but lately come into this world, or those who are about to go from it. The hair that just gilded⁹ the pink head I was allowed to kiss was one shade paler than that which made a great aureole on the pillow about the pale face of my "dear, pretty" mother.

 

Years afterwards—in Belgium—I bought an old medi?val painting of a Madonna. That Madonna had a stiffness, a deadly pallor, a thinness of face incompatible¹⁰ with strict beauty. But on the thin lips there was a smile for which no word is lovely[3] enough; and in the eyes was a pure and far-seeing look, hardly to be imagined except by one who painted (like Fra Angelico) upon his knees. The background (like that of many religious paintings of the date) was gilt¹¹. With such a look and such a smile my mother's face shone out of the mass of her golden hair the day she died. For this I bought the picture; for this I keep it still.

 

But to go back.

 

I liked Mrs. Bundle. I had taken to her from the evening when she arrived in a red shawl, with several bandboxes. My affection for her was established next day, when she washed my face before dinner. My own nurse was bony, her hands were all knuckles¹², and she washed my face as she scrubbed the nursery floor on Saturdays. Mrs. Bundle's plump palms were like pincushions, and she washed my face as if it had been a baby's.

 

On the evening of the day when I first saw Sister Alice, I took tea in the housekeeper¹³'s room. My nurse was out for the evening, but Mrs. Cadman from the village was of the party, and neither cakes nor conversation flagged. Mrs. Cadman had hollow eyes, and (on occasion) a hollow voice, which was very impressive. She wore curl-papers continually, which once caused me to ask my nurse if she ever took them out.

 

"On Sundays she do," said Nurse.

 

"She's very religious then, I suppose," said I; and I did really think it a great compliment that she paid to the first day of the week.

 

I was only just four years old at this time—an age when one is apt to ask inconvenient¹⁴ questions and to make strange observations—when one is struggling to understand life through the mist of novelties about one, and the additional confusion of[4] falsehood which it is so common to speak or to insinuate¹⁵ without scruple¹⁶ to very young children.

 

The housekeeper and Mrs. Cadman had conversed¹⁷ for some time after tea without diverting my attention from the new box of bricks which Mrs. Bundle (commissioned by my father) had brought from the town for me; but when I had put all the round arches on the pairs of pillars, and had made a very successful "Tower of Babel" with cross layers of the bricks tapering¹⁸ towards the top, I had leisure to look round and listen.

 

"I never know'd one with that look as lived," Mrs. Cadman was saying, in her hollow tone. "It took notice from the first. Mark my words, ma'am, a sweeter child I never saw, but it's too good and too pretty to be long for this world."

 

It is difficult to say exactly how much one understands at four years old, or rather how far one quite comprehends the things one perceives in part. I understood, or felt, enough of what I heard, and of the sympathetic sighs that followed Mrs. Cadman's speech, to make me stumble over the Tower of Babel, and present myself at Mrs. Cadman's knee with the question—

 

"Is mamma too pretty and good for this world, Mrs. Cadman?"

 

I caught her elderly wink¹⁹ as quickly as the housekeeper, to whom it was directed. I was not completely deceived by her answer.

 

"Why, bless his dear heart, Master Reginald. Who did he think I was talking about, love?"

 

"My new baby sister," said I, without hesitation²⁰.

 

"No such thing, lovey," said the audacious Mrs. Cadman; "housekeeper and me was talking about Mrs. Jones's little boy."

 

"Where does Mrs. Jones live?" I asked.[5]

 

"In London town, my dear."

 

I sighed. I knew nothing of London town, and could not prove that Mrs. Jones had no existence. But I felt dimly dissatisfied, in spite of a slice of sponge-cake, and being put to bed (for a treat) in papa's dressing-room. My sleep was broken by uneasy dreams, in which Mrs. Jones figured with the face of Mrs. Cadman and her hollow voice. I had a sensation that that night the house never went to rest. People came in and out with a pretentious²¹ purpose of not awaking me. My father never came to bed. I felt convinced that I heard the doctor's voice in the passage. At last, while it was yet dark, and when I seemed to have been sleeping and waking, waking and falling asleep again in my crib for weeks, my father came in with a strange look upon his face, and took me up in his arms, and wrapped a blanket round me, saying mamma wanted to kiss me, but I must be very good and make no noise. There was little fear of that! I gazed in utter silence at the sweet face that was whiter than the sheet below it, the hair that shone brighter than ever in the candlelight. Only when I kissed her, and she had laid her wan²² hand on my head, I whispered to my father, "Why is mamma so cold?"

 

With a smothered²³ groan²⁴ he carried me back to bed, and I cried myself to sleep. It was too true, then. She was too good and too pretty for this world, and before sunrise she was gone.

 

Before the day was ended Sister Alice left us also. She never knew a harder resting-place than our mother's arms.

1 secondly   

adv.第二，其次

参考例句：

• Secondly,use your own head and present your point of view.第二，动脑筋提出自己的见解。
• Secondly it is necessary to define the applied load.其次，需要确定所作用的载荷。

2 veracious   

adj.诚实可靠的

参考例句：

• Miss Stackpole was a strictly veracious reporter.斯坦克波尔小姐是一丝不苟、实事求是的记者。
• We need to make a veracious evaluation.我们需要事先作出准确的估计。

3 tyro   

n.初学者；生手

参考例句：

• She is a tyro in the art of writing poetry.她是一名诗歌创作艺术的初学者。
• I am a veritable tyro at the game.我玩这个是新手。

4 outgrew   

长[发展] 得超过（某物）的范围( outgrow的过去式 )； 长[发展]得不能再要（某物）； 长得比…快； 生长速度超过

参考例句：

• She outgrew the company she worked for and found a better job somewhere else. 她进步很快，不再满足于她所在工作的公司，于是又在别处找到一份更好的工作。
• It'soon outgrew Carthage and became the largest city of the western world. 它很快取代了迦太基成为西方的第一大城市。 来自英汉非文学 - 文明史

5 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

6 wont   

adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯

参考例句：

• He was wont to say that children are lazy.他常常说小孩子们懒惰。
• It is his wont to get up early.早起是他的习惯。

7 simile   

n.直喻，明喻

参考例句：

• I believe this simile largely speaks the truth.我相信这种比拟在很大程度上道出了真实。
• It is a trite simile to compare her teeth to pearls.把她的牙齿比做珍珠是陈腐的比喻。

8 cherub   

n.小天使，胖娃娃

参考例句：

• It was easy to see why the cartoonists regularly portrayed him as a malign cherub.难怪漫画家总是把他画成一个邪恶的小天使。
• The cherub in the painting is very lovely.这幅画中的小天使非常可爱。

9 gilded   

a.镀金的，富有的

参考例句：

• The golden light gilded the sea. 金色的阳光使大海如金子般闪闪发光。
• "Friends, they are only gilded disks of lead!" "朋友们，这只不过是些镀金的铅饼！ 来自英汉文学 - 败坏赫德莱堡

10 incompatible   

adj.不相容的，不协调的，不相配的

参考例句：

• His plan is incompatible with my intent.他的计划与我的意图不相符。
• Speed and safety are not necessarily incompatible.速度和安全未必不相容。

11 gilt   

adj.镀金的；n.金边证券

参考例句：

• The plates have a gilt edge.这些盘子的边是镀金的。
• The rest of the money is invested in gilt.其余的钱投资于金边证券。

12 knuckles   

n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝

参考例句：

• He gripped the wheel until his knuckles whitened. 他紧紧握住方向盘，握得指关节都变白了。
• Her thin hands were twisted by swollen knuckles. 她那双纤手因肿大的指关节而变了形。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 housekeeper   

n.管理家务的主妇，女管家

参考例句：

• A spotless stove told us that his mother is a diligent housekeeper.炉子清洁无瑕就表明他母亲是个勤劳的主妇。
• She is an economical housekeeper and feeds her family cheaply.她节约持家，一家人吃得很省。

14 inconvenient   

adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的

参考例句：

• You have come at a very inconvenient time.你来得最不适时。
• Will it be inconvenient for him to attend that meeting?他参加那次会议会不方便吗？

15 insinuate   

vt.含沙射影地说，暗示

参考例句：

• He tried to insinuate himself into the boss's favor.他设法巧妙地渐渐取得老板的欢心。
• It seems to me you insinuate things about her.我觉得你讲起她来，总有些弦外之音。

16 scruple   

n./v.顾忌，迟疑

参考例句：

• It'seemed to her now that she could marry him without the remnant of a scruple.她觉得现在她可以跟他成婚而不需要有任何顾忌。
• He makes no scruple to tell a lie.他说起谎来无所顾忌。

17 conversed   

v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 )

参考例句：

• I conversed with her on a certain problem. 我与她讨论某一问题。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• She was cheerful and polite, and conversed with me pleasantly. 她十分高兴，也很客气，而且愉快地同我交谈。 来自辞典例句

18 tapering   

adj.尖端细的

参考例句：

• Interest in the scandal seems to be tapering off. 人们对那件丑闻的兴趣似乎越来越小了。
• Nonproductive expenditures keep tapering down. 非生产性开支一直在下降。

19 wink   

n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁

参考例句：

• He tipped me the wink not to buy at that price.他眨眼暗示我按那个价格就不要买。
• The satellite disappeared in a wink.瞬息之间，那颗卫星就消失了。

20 hesitation   

n.犹豫，踌躇

参考例句：

• After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.踌躇了半天，他终于直说了。
• There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的态度有些犹豫不决。

21 pretentious   

adj.自命不凡的，自负的，炫耀的

参考例句：

• He is a talented but pretentious writer.他是一个有才华但自命不凡的作家。
• Speaking well of yourself would only make you appear conceited and pretentious.自夸只会使你显得自负和虚伪。

22 wan   

(wide area network)广域网

参考例句：

• The shared connection can be an Ethernet,wireless LAN,or wireless WAN connection.提供共享的网络连接可以是以太网、无线局域网或无线广域网。

23 smothered   

（使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制

参考例句：

• He smothered the baby with a pillow. 他用枕头把婴儿闷死了。
• The fire is smothered by ashes. 火被灰闷熄了。

24 groan   

vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音

参考例句：

• The wounded man uttered a groan.那个受伤的人发出呻吟。
• The people groan under the burden of taxes.人民在重税下痛苦呻吟。