Mrs. Cadman told me, long afterwards, exactly how many days and nights Nurse Bundle passed in my sick chamber3, "and never had her clothes off;" and if the wearing of clothes had been one of the sharpest torments4 of the Inquisition, Mrs. Cadman could not have spoken in a hollower tone, or thrown more gloom round the announcement.
That, humanly speaking, my good and loving nurse saved my life, I must ever remember with deep gratitude6. There are stages of fever, when, as they say, "a nurse is everything;" and a very little laziness, selfishness, or inattention on Nurse[68] Bundle's part would probably have been my death-warrant. But night and day she never relaxed her vigilance for one instant of the crisis of my malady7. She took nothing for granted, would trust no one else, but herself saw every order of the doctor carried out, and, at a certain stage, fed me every ten minutes, against my will, coaxing8 me to obedience9, and never losing heart or temper for one instant. And this although my petulance10 and not infrequent assurances that I wished and preferred to die—"I was so tired"—within the sick room, and my father's despair and bitter groan11 that he would sacrifice every earthly possession to keep me alive, outside it, would have caused many people to lose their heads. In such an hour many a foolish, gossiping, half-educated woman, by absolute faithfulness to the small details of her trust, by the complete laying aside of personal needs and personal feelings, rises to the sublimity12 of duty, and, ministering to the wants of another with an unselfish vigilance almost perfect, earns that meed of praise from men, which from time to time persists, in grateful hyperbole, to liken her sex to the angels.
My poor father, whose irrepressible distress13 led to his being forbidden to enter my room, powerless to help, and therefore without alleviation14 for his anxiety, simply hung upon Nurse Bundle's orders and reports, and relied utterly15 on her. Fortunately for his own health, she gained sufficient influence to insist, almost as peremptorily16 as in my case, upon his taking food. Often afterwards did she describe how he and Rubens sat outside the door they were not allowed to enter; and she used to declare that when she came out, Rubens, as well as my father, turned an anxious and expectant[69] countenance17 towards her, and that both alike seemed to await and to understand her report of my condition.
Only once did Nurse Bundle's self-possession threaten to fail her. It was on my repeated and urgent request to "have the clergyman to pray with me."
Mrs. Bundle, like most uneducated people, rather regarded the visitation of the sick by the parish clergyman as a sort of extreme unction or last sacrament. And to send for the parson seemed to her tantamount to dismissing the doctor and ringing the passing bell. My father was equally averse18 from the idea on other grounds. Moreover, our old rector had gone, and the lately-appointed one was a stranger, and rather an eccentric stranger, by all accounts.
For my own part, I had a strong interest in the new rector. His Christian19 name was the same as my own, which I felt to constitute a sort of connection; and the tales I had heard in the village of his peculiarities20 had woven a sort of ecclesiastical romance about him in my mind. He had come from some out-of-the-way parish in the west of England, where his people, being thoroughly21 used to his ways, took them as a matter of course. It was his scrupulous22 custom to conform as minutely as possible to the canons of the Church, as well as to the rubrics of the Prayer Book, and this to the point of wearing shoes instead of boots. He was a learned man, a naturalist23, and an antiquarian. His appearance was remarkable24, his hair being prematurely25 white, and yet thick, his eyes grey and expressive26, with thick dark eyebrows27, which actually met above them. For the rest, he was tall, thin, and dressed in obedience to the[70] canons. I had been much interested in all that I had heard of him, and since my illness I had often thought of the unqualified note of praise I had heard sounded in his favour by more than one village matron, "He's beautiful in a sick-room." It was on one occasion when I heard this that I also heard that he was accustomed on entering the house to pronounce the appointed salutation, in the words of the Prayer Book, "Peace be to this house, and to all that dwell in it." And so it came about that, when my importunity28 and anxiety on the subject had overcome the scruples29 of my father and nurse, and they had decided30 to let me have my way rather than increase my malady by fretting31, the new rector came into my room, and my first eager question was, "Did you say that—about Peace, you know—when you came in?"
"I did," said the rector; and as he spoke5 one of his merits became obvious. He had a most pleasing voice.
"Say it again!" I cried, petulantly32.
"Peace be to this house, and to all that dwell in it," he repeated slowly, and with slightly upraised hand.
"That's Rubens and all," was my comment.
As I wished, the rector prayed by my bedside; and I think he must have been rather astonished by the fact that at points which struck me I rather groaned33 than said, "Amen." The truth is, I had once happened to go into a cottage where our old rector was praying by the bed of a sick old man—a Methodist—who groaned "Amen" at certain points in a manner which greatly impressed me, and I now did likewise, in that imitativeness of childhood which had helped to lead me to the[71] fancy for surrounding my own sick bed with all the circumstances I had seen and heard of in such cases in the village. For this reason I had (to her hardly concealed34 distress) given Nurse Bundle, from time to time, directions as to my wishes in the event of my death. I remember especially, that I begged she would not fail to cover up all the furniture with white cloths, and to allow all my friends to come and see me in my coffin35. Thus also I groaned and said "Amen"—"like a poor person"—at what I deemed suitable points, as the rector prayed.
He was not less wise in a sick room than Mrs. Bundle herself. He contrived36 to quieten instead of exciting me, and to the sound of his melodious37 voice reading in soothing38 monotone from my favourite book of the Bible—the Revelation of St. John the Divine—I finally fell asleep.
When the inspired description of the New Jerusalem ended, and my own dream began, I never knew. As I dreamed, it seemed a wonderful and beautiful vision, though all that I could ever remember of it in waking hours was the sheerest nonsense.
点击收听单词发音
1 undue | |
adj.过分的;不适当的;未到期的 | |
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2 quaint | |
adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的 | |
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3 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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4 torments | |
(肉体或精神上的)折磨,痛苦( torment的名词复数 ); 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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5 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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6 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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7 malady | |
n.病,疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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8 coaxing | |
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱;“锻炼”效应 | |
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9 obedience | |
n.服从,顺从 | |
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10 petulance | |
n.发脾气,生气,易怒,暴躁,性急 | |
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11 groan | |
vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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12 sublimity | |
崇高,庄严,气质高尚 | |
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13 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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14 alleviation | |
n. 减轻,缓和,解痛物 | |
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15 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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16 peremptorily | |
adv.紧急地,不容分说地,专横地 | |
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17 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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18 averse | |
adj.厌恶的;反对的,不乐意的 | |
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19 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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20 peculiarities | |
n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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21 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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22 scrupulous | |
adj.审慎的,小心翼翼的,完全的,纯粹的 | |
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23 naturalist | |
n.博物学家(尤指直接观察动植物者) | |
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24 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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25 prematurely | |
adv.过早地,贸然地 | |
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26 expressive | |
adj.表现的,表达…的,富于表情的 | |
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27 eyebrows | |
眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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28 importunity | |
n.硬要,强求 | |
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29 scruples | |
n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 );顾虑,顾忌v.感到于心不安,有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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30 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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31 fretting | |
n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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32 petulantly | |
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33 groaned | |
v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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34 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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35 coffin | |
n.棺材,灵柩 | |
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36 contrived | |
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的 | |
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37 melodious | |
adj.旋律美妙的,调子优美的,音乐性的 | |
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38 soothing | |
adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
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39 rev | |
v.发动机旋转,加快速度 | |
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