' "I suppose you intend to eat and drink and to sleep under shelter in the usual way," I remember saying with irritation5. "You say you won't touch the money that is due to you." . . . He came as near as his sort can to making a gesture of horror. (There were three weeks and five days' pay owing him as mate of the Patna.) "Well, that's too little to matter anyhow; but what will you do tomorrow? Where will you turn? You must live . . ." "That isn't the thing," was the comment that escaped him under his breath. I ignored it, and went on combating what I assumed to be the scruples7 of an exaggerated delicacy8. "On every conceivable ground," I concluded, "you must let me help you." "You can't," he said very simply and gently, and holding fast to some deep idea which I could detect shimmering9 like a pool of water in the dark, but which I despaired of ever approaching near enough to fathom10. I surveyed his well-proportioned bulk. "At any rate," I said, "I am able to help what I can see of you. I don't pretend to do more." He shook his head sceptically without looking at me. I got very warm. "But I can," I insisted. "I can do even more. I am doing more. I am trusting you . . ." "The money . . ." he began. "Upon my word you deserve being told to go to the devil," I cried, forcing the note of indignation. He was startled, smiled, and I pressed my attack home. "It isn't a question of money at all. You are too superficial," I said (and at the same time I was thinking to myself: Well, here goes! And perhaps he is, after all). "Look at the letter I want you to take. I am writing to a man of whom I've never asked a favour, and I am writing about you in terms that one only ventures to use when speaking of an intimate friend. I make myself unreservedly responsible for you. That's what I am doing. And really if you will only reflect a little what that means . . ."
'He lifted his head. The rain had passed away; only the waterpipe went on shedding tears with an absurd drip, drip outside the window. It was very quiet in the room, whose shadows huddled11 together in corners, away from the still flame of the candle flaring12 upright in the shape of a dagger13; his face after a while seemed suffused14 by a reflection of a soft light as if the dawn had broken already.
' "Jove!" he gasped15 out. "It is noble of you!"
'Had he suddenly put out his tongue at me in derision, I could not have felt more humiliated16. I thought to myself -- Serve me right for a sneaking17 humbug18.... His eyes shone straight into my face, but I perceived it was not a mocking brightness. All at once he sprang into jerky agitation19, like one of those flat wooden figures that are worked by a string. His arms went up, then came down with a slap. He became another man altogether. "And I had never seen," he shouted; then suddenly bit his lip and frowned. "What a bally ass6 I've been," he said very slow in an awed20 tone.... "You are a brick! " he cried next in a muffled21 voice. He snatched my hand as though he had just then seen it for the first time, and dropped it at once. "Why! this is what I -- you -- I . . ." he stammered22, and then with a return of his old stolid23, I may say mulish, manner he began heavily, "I would be a brute24 now if I . . ." and then his voice seemed to break. "That's all right," I said. I was almost alarmed by this display of feeling, through which pierced a strange elation25. I had pulled the string accidentally, as it were; I did not fully26 understand the working of the toy. "I must go now," he said. "Jove! You have helped me. Can't sit still. The very thing . . ." He looked at me with puzzled admiration27. "The very thing . . ."
'Of course it was the thing. It was ten to one that I had saved him from starvation -- of that peculiar28 sort that is almost invariably associated with drink. This was all. I had not a single illusion on that score, but looking at him, I allowed myself to wonder at the nature of the one he had, within the last three minutes, so evidently taken into his bosom29. I had forced into his hand the means to carry on decently the serious business of life, to get food, drink, and shelter of the customary kind, while his wounded spirit, like a bird with a broken wing, might hop30 and flutter into some hole, to die quietly of inanition there. This is what I had thrust upon him: a definitely small thing; and -- behold31! -- by the manner of its reception it loomed32 in the dim light of the candle like a big, indistinct, perhaps a dangerous shadow. "You don't mind me not saying anything appropriate," he burst out. "There isn't anything one could say. Last night already you had done me no end of good. Listening to me -- you know. I give you my word I've thought more than once the top of my head would fly off. . ." He darted33 -- positively34 darted -- here and there, rammed35 his hands into his pockets, jerked them out again, flung his cap on his head. I had no idea it was in him to be so airily brisk. I thought of a dry leaf imprisoned36 in an eddy37 of wind, while a mysterious apprehension38, a load of indefinite doubt, weighed me down in my chair. He stood stock-still, as if struck motionless by a discovery. "You have given me confidence," he declared soberly. "Oh! for God's sake, my dear fellow -- don't!" I entreated39, as though he had hurt me. "All right. I'll shut up now and henceforth. Can't prevent me thinking though.... Never mind! . . . I'll show yet . . ." He went to the door in a hurry, paused with his head down, and came back, stepping deliberately40. "I always thought that if a fellow could begin with a clean slate41 . . . And now you . . . in a measure . . . yes . . . clean slate." I wa ved my hand, and he marched out without looking
back; the sound of his footfalls died out gradually behind the closed door -- the unhesitating tread of a man walking in broad daylight.
'But as to me, left alone with the solitary42 candle, I remained strangely unenlightened. I was no longer young enough to behold at every turn the magnificence that besets43 our insignificant44 footsteps in good and in evil. I smiled to think that, after all, it was yet he, of us two, who had the light. And I felt sad. A clean slate, did he say? As if the initial word of each our destiny were not graven in imperishable characters upon the face of a rock.'
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1
devastating
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| adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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3
degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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4
inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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7
scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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8
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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9
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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10
fathom
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| v.领悟，彻底了解 | |
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huddled
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| 挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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flaring
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| a.火焰摇曳的，过份艳丽的 | |
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13
dagger
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| n.匕首，短剑，剑号 | |
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14
suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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16
humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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18
humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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19
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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20
awed
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| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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22
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
stolid
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| adj.无动于衷的，感情麻木的 | |
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24
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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elation
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| n.兴高采烈，洋洋得意 | |
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26
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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27
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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28
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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29
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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30
hop
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| n.单脚跳，跳跃；vi.单脚跳，跳跃；着手做某事；vt.跳跃，跃过 | |
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31
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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32
loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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33
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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34
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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35
rammed
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| v.夯实（土等）( ram的过去式和过去分词 )；猛撞；猛压；反复灌输 | |
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36
imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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37
eddy
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| n.漩涡，涡流 | |
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38
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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39
entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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41
slate
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| n.板岩，石板，石片，石板色，候选人名单；adj.暗蓝灰色的，含板岩的；vt.用石板覆盖，痛打，提名，预订 | |
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42
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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43
besets
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| v.困扰( beset的第三人称单数 )；不断围攻；镶；嵌 | |
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44
insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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