"Yes, there is something in be hatful, repulsive," thought Levin, as he came away from the Shtcherbatskys', and walked in the direction of his brother's lodgings1. "And I don't get on with other people. Pride, they say. No, I have no pride. If I had any pride, I should not have put myself in such a position." And he pictured to himself Vronsky, happy, good-natured, clever, and self-possessed, certainly never placed in the awful position in which he had been that evening. "Yes, she was bound to choose him. So it had to be, and I cannot complain of anyone or anything. I am myself to blame. What right had I to imagine she would care to join her life to mine? Whom am I and what am I? A nobody, not wanted by any one, nor of use to anybody." And he recalled his brother Nikolay, and dwelt with pleasure on the thought of him. "Isn't he right that everything in the world is base and loathsome2? And are we fair in our judgment3 of brother Nikolay? Of course, from the point of view of Prokofy, seeing him in a torn cloak and tipsy, he's a despicable person. But I know him differently. I know his soul, and know that we are like him. And I, instead of going to seek him out, went out to dinner, and came here." Levin walked up to a lamppost, read his brother's address, which was in his pocketbook, and called a sledge4. All the long way to his brother's, Levin vividly5 recalled all the facts familiar to him of his brother Nikolay's life. He remembered how his brother, while at the university, and for a year afterwards, had, in spite of the jeers6 of his companions, lived like a monk7, strictly8 observing all religious rites9, services, and fasts, and avoiding every sort of pleasure, especially women. And afterwards, how he had all at once broken out: he had associated with the most horrible people, and rushed into the most senseless debauchery. He remembered later the scandal over a boy, whom he had taken from the country to bring up, and, in a fit of rage, had so violently beaten that proceedings10 were brought against him for unlawfully wounding. Then he recalled the scandal with a sharper, to whom he had lost money, and given a promissory note, and against whom he had himself lodged11 a complaint, asserting that he had cheated him. (This was the money Sergey Ivanovitch had paid.) Then he remembered how he had spent a night in the lockup for disorderly conduct in the street. He remembered the shameful12 proceedings he had tried to get up against his brother Sergey Ivanovitch, accusing him of not having paid him his share of his mother's fortune, and the last scandal, when he had gone to a western province in an official capacity, and there had got into trouble for assaulting a village elder.... It was all horribly disgusting, yet to Levin it appeared not at all in the same disgusting light as it inevitably13 would to those who did not know Nikolay, did not know all his story, did not know his heart.
Levin remembered that when Nikolay had been in the devout14 stage, the period of fasts and monks15 and church services, when he was seeking in religion a support and a curb16 for his passionate17 temperament18, everyone, far from encouraging him, had jeered19 at him, and he, too, with the others. They had teased him, called him Noah and Monk; and, when he had broken out, no one had helped him, but everyone had turned away from him with horror and disgust.
Levin felt that, in spite of all the ugliness of his life, his brother Nikolay, in his soul, in the very depths of his soul, was no more in the wrong than the people who despised him. He was not to blame for having been born with his unbridled temperament and his somehow limited intelligence. But he had always wanted to be good. "I will tell him everything, without reserve, and I will make him speak without reserve, too, and I'll show him that I love him, and so understand him," Levin resolved to himself, as, towards eleven o'clock, he reached the hotel of which he had the address.
"At the top, 12 and 13," the porter answered Levin's inquiry20.
"At home?"
"Sure to be at home."
The door of No. 12 was half open, and there came out into the streak21 of light thick fumes22 of cheap, poor tobacco, and the sound of a voice, unknown to Levin; but he knew at once that his brother was there; he heard his cough.
As he went in the door, the unknown voice was saying:
"It all depends with how much judgment and knowledge the thing's done."
Konstantin Levin looked in at the door, and saw that the speaker was a young man with an immense shock of hair, wearing a Russian jerkin, and that a pockmarked woman in a woolen23 gown, without collar or cuffs24, was sitting on the sofa. His brother was not to be seen. Konstantin felt a sharp pang25 at his heart at the thought of the strange company in which his brother spent his life. No one had heard him, and Konstantin, taking off his galoshes, listened to what the gentleman in the jerkin was saying. He was speaking of some enterprise.
"Well, the devil flay26 them, the privileged classes," his brother's voice responded, with a cough. "Masha! get us some supper and some wine if there's any left; or else go and get some."
The woman rose, came out from behind the screen, and saw Konstantin.
"There's some gentleman, Nikolay Dmitrievitch," she said.
"Whom do you want?" said the voice of Nikolay Levin, angrily.
"It's I," answered Konstantin Levin, coming forward into the light.
"Who's _I_?" Nikolay's voice said again, still more angrily. He could be heard getting up hurriedly, stumbling against something, and Levin saw, facing him in the doorway27, the big, scared eyes, and the huge, thin, stooping figure of his brother, so familiar, and yet astonishing in it weirdness28 and sickliness.
He was even thinner than three years before, when Konstantin Levin had seen him last. He was wearing a short coat, and his hands and big bones seemed huger than ever. His hair had grown thinner, the same straight mustaches hid his lips, the same eyes gazed strangely and naively29 at his visitor.
"Ah, Kostya!" he exclaimed suddenly, recognizing his brother, and his eyes lit up with joy. But the same second he looked round at the young man, and gave the nervous jerk of his head and neck that Konstantin knew so well, as if his neckband hurt him; and a quite different expression, wild, suffering, and cruel, rested on his emaciated30 fact.
"I wrote to you and Sergey Ivanovitch both that I don't know you and don't want to know you. What is it you want?"
He was not at all the same as Konstantin had been fancying him. The worst and most tiresome31 part of his character, what made all relations with him so difficult, had been forgotten by Konstantin Levin when he thought of him, and now, when he saw his face, and especially that nervous twitching32 of his head, he remembered it all.
"I didn't want to see you for anything," he answered timidly. "I've simply come to see you."
His brother's timidity obviously softened33 Nikolay. His lips twitched34.
"Oh, so that's it?" he said. "Well, come in; sit down. Like some supper? Masha, bring supper for three. No, stop a minute. Do you know who this is?" he said, addressing his brother, and indicating the gentleman in the jerkin: "This is Mr. Kritsky, my friend from Kiev, a very remarkable35 man. He's persecuted36 by the police, of course, because he's not a scoundrel."
And he looked round in the way he always did at everyone in the room. Seeing that the woman standing37 in the doorway was moving to go, he shouted to her, "Wait a minute, I said." And with the inability to express himself, the incoherence that Konstantin knew so well, he began, with another look round at everyone, to tell his brother Kritsky's story: how he had been expelled from the university for starting a benefit society for the poor students and Sunday schools; and how he had afterwards been a teacher in a peasant school, and how he had been driven out of that too, and had afterwards been condemned38 for something.
"You're of the Kiev university?" said Konstantin Levin to Kritsky, to break the awkward silence that followed.
"Yes, I was of Kiev," Kritsky replied angrily, his face darkening.
"And this woman," Nikolay Levin interrupted him, pointing to her, "is the partner of my life, Marya Nikolaevna. I took her out of a bad house," and he jerked his neck saying this; "but I love her and respect her, and any one who wants to know me," he added, raising his voice and knitting his brows, "I beg to love her and respect her. She's just the same as my wife, just the same. So now you know whom you've to do with. And if you think you're lowering yourself, well, here's the floor, there's the door."
And again his eyes traveled inquiringly over all of them.
"Why I should be lowering myself, I don't understand."
"Then, Masha, tell them to bring supper; three portions, spirits and wine.... No, wait a minute.... No, it doesn't matter.... Go along."
1 lodgings | |
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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2 loathsome | |
adj.讨厌的,令人厌恶的 | |
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3 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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4 sledge | |
n.雪橇,大锤;v.用雪橇搬运,坐雪橇往 | |
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5 vividly | |
adv.清楚地,鲜明地,生动地 | |
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6 jeers | |
n.操纵帆桁下部(使其上下的)索具;嘲讽( jeer的名词复数 )v.嘲笑( jeer的第三人称单数 ) | |
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7 monk | |
n.和尚,僧侣,修道士 | |
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8 strictly | |
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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9 rites | |
仪式,典礼( rite的名词复数 ) | |
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10 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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11 lodged | |
v.存放( lodge的过去式和过去分词 );暂住;埋入;(权利、权威等)归属 | |
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12 shameful | |
adj.可耻的,不道德的 | |
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13 inevitably | |
adv.不可避免地;必然发生地 | |
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14 devout | |
adj.虔诚的,虔敬的,衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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15 monks | |
n.修道士,僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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16 curb | |
n.场外证券市场,场外交易;vt.制止,抑制 | |
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17 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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18 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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19 jeered | |
v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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20 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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21 streak | |
n.条理,斑纹,倾向,少许,痕迹;v.加条纹,变成条纹,奔驰,快速移动 | |
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22 fumes | |
n.(强烈而刺激的)气味,气体 | |
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23 woolen | |
adj.羊毛(制)的;毛纺的 | |
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24 cuffs | |
n.袖口( cuff的名词复数 )v.掌打,拳打( cuff的第三人称单数 ) | |
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25 pang | |
n.剧痛,悲痛,苦闷 | |
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26 flay | |
vt.剥皮;痛骂 | |
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27 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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28 weirdness | |
n.古怪,离奇,不可思议 | |
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29 naively | |
adv. 天真地 | |
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30 emaciated | |
adj.衰弱的,消瘦的 | |
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31 tiresome | |
adj.令人疲劳的,令人厌倦的 | |
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32 twitching | |
n.颤搐 | |
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33 softened | |
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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34 twitched | |
vt.& vi.(使)抽动,(使)颤动(twitch的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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35 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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36 persecuted | |
(尤指宗教或政治信仰的)迫害(~sb. for sth.)( persecute的过去式和过去分词 ); 烦扰,困扰或骚扰某人 | |
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37 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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38 condemned | |
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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