‘In the end I submitted to his proposal. I was very tall, but he was much stronger than I. He rose on my shoulders, I trembled under his weight, but he succeeded in raising the trap-door, — the full light of day broke on us both. In a moment he dropt his hold of the door, — he fell to the ground with a force that struck me down. He exclaimed, ‘The workmen are there, they have come about the repairs, we are lost if we are discovered. They are there, the garden is full of them already, they will be there the whole day. That cursed lamp, it has undone12 us! Had it but kept in for a few moments, we might have been in the garden, might have crossed the wall, might have been at liberty, and now — ‘ He fell to the ground convulsed with rage and disappointment, as he spoke13. To me there was nothing so terrible in this intelligence. That we were disappointed for a time was evident, but we had been relieved from the most horrible of all fears, that of wandering in famine and darkness till we perished, — we had found the way to the trap-door. I had unfailing confidence in Juan’s patience and zeal15. I was sure that if he was watching for us on that night, he would watch for many a successive night. Finally, I felt we had but twenty-four hours or less to wait, and what was that to the eternity16 of hours that must otherwise be wasted in a convent. I suggested all this to my companion as I closed the trap-door; but I found in his complaints, imprecations, and tossing restlessness of impatience17 and despair, the difference between man and man in the hour of trial. He possessed18 active, and I passive fortitude19. Give him something to do, and he would do it at the risk of limb, and life, and soul, — he never murmured. Give me something to suffer, to undergo, to submit, and I became at once the hero of submission20. While this man, with all his physical strength, and all his mental hardihood, was tossing on the earth with the imbecility of an infant, in a paroxysm of unappeasable passion, I was his consoler, adviser21, and supporter. At last he suffered himself to hear reason; he agreed that we must remain twenty-four hours more in the passage, on which he bestowed22 a whole litany of curses. So we determined23 to stand in stillness and darkness till night; but such is the restlessness of the human heart, that this arrangement, which a few hours before we would have embraced as the offer of a benignant angel for our emancipation24, began to display, as we were compelled to examine its aspect more closely, certain features that were repulsive26 almost to hideousness27. We were exhausted28 nearly to death. Our physical exertions30 had been, for the last few hours, almost incredible; in fact, I am convinced that nothing but the consciousness that we were engaged in a struggle for life or death, could have enabled us to support it, and now that the struggle was over, we began to feel our weakness. Our mental sufferings had not been less, — we had been excruciated body and soul alike. Could our mental struggles have operated like our bodily ones, we would have been seen to weep drops of blood, as we felt we were doing at every step of our progress. Recollect32 too, Sir, the unnatural33 atmosphere we had breathed so long, amid darkness and danger, and which now began to show its anti-vital and pestilent effect, in producing alternately on our bodies deluges34 of perspiration35, succeeded by a chill that seemed to freeze the very marrow36. In this state of mental fever, and bodily exhaustion37, we had now to wait many hours, in darkness, without food, till Heaven pleased to send us night. But how were those hours to be passed? The preceding day had been one of strict abstinence, — we began already to feel the gnawings of hunger, a hunger not to be appeased38. We must fast till the moment of liberation, and we must fast amid stone walls, and damp seats on floors of stone, which diminished every moment the strength necessary to contend with their impenetrable hardness, — their withering39 chillness.
‘The last thought that occurred to me was, — with what a companion those hours must be passed. With a being whom I abhorred40 from my very soul, while I felt that his presence was at once an irrepealable curse, and an invincible41 necessity. So we stood, shivering under the trap-door, not daring to whisper our thoughts to each other, but feeling that despair of incommunication which is perhaps the severest curse that can be inflicted43 on those who are compelled to be together, and compelled, by the same necessity that imposes their ungenial union, not even to communicate their fears to each other. We hear the throb44 of each others hearts, and yet dare not say, ‘My heart beats in unison45 with yours.’
‘As we stood thus, the light became suddenly eclipsed. I knew not from what this arose, till I felt a shower, the most violent perhaps that ever was precipitated46 on the earth, make its way even through the trap-door, and drench47 me in five minutes to the skin. I retreated from the spot, but not before I had received it in every pore of my body. You, Sir, who live in happy Ireland, blessed by God with an exemption48 from those vicissitudes49 of the atmosphere, can have no idea of their violence in continental50 countries. This rain was followed by peals51 of thunder, that made me fear God was pursuing me into the abysses where I had shrunk to escape from his vengeance52, and drew from my companion blasphemies53 more loud than thunder, as he felt himself drenched54 by the shower, that now, flooding the vault55, rose almost to our ancles. At last he proposed our retiring to a place which he said he was acquainted with, and which would shelter us. He added, that it was but a few steps from where we stood, and that we could easily find our way back. I did not dare to oppose him, and followed to a dark recess56, only distinguished57 from the rest of the vault by the remains58 of what had once been a door. It was now light, and I could distinguish objects plainly. By the deep hollows framed for the shooting of the bolt, and the size of the iron hinges that still remained, though covered with rust59, I saw it must have been of no common strength, and probably intended to secure the entrance to a dungeon60, — there was no longer a door, yet I shuddered62 to enter it. As we did so, both of us, exhausted in body and mind, sunk on the hard floor. We did not say a word to each other, an inclination63 to sleep irresistibly64 overcame us; and whether that sleep was to be my last or not, I felt a profound indifference65. Yet I was now on the verge66 of liberty, and though drenched, famishing, and comfortless, was, in any rational estimate, an object much more enviable than in the heart-withering safety of my cell. Alas67! it is too true that our souls always contract themselves on the approach of a blessing68, and seem as if their powers, exhausted in the effort to obtain it, had no longer energy to embrace the object. Thus we are always compelled to substitute the pleasure of the pursuit for that of the attainment69, — to reverse the means for the end, or confound them, in order to extract any enjoyment70 from either, and at last fruition becomes only another name for lassitude. These reflections certainly did not occur to me, when, worn out with toil71, terror, and famine, I fell on the stone floor in a sleep that was not sleep, — it seemed the suspension both of my mortal and immortal72 nature. I ceased from animal and intellectual life at once. There are cases, Sir, where the thinking power appears to accompany us to the very verge of slumber73, where we sleep full of delightful74 thoughts, and sleep only to review them in our dreams: But there are also cases when we feel that our sleep is a ‘sleep for ever,’ — when we resign the hope of immortality75 for the hope of a profound repose76, — when we demand from the harassings of fate, ‘Rest, rest,’ and no more, — when the soul and body faint together, and all we ask of God or man is to let us sleep.
‘In such a state I fell to the ground; and, at that moment, would have bartered78 all my hopes of liberation for twelve hours profound repose, as Esau sold his birth-right for a small but indispensible refreshment79. I was not to enjoy even this repose long. My companion was sleeping too. Sleeping! great God! what was his sleep? — that in whose neighbourhood no one could close an eye, or, worse, an ear. He talked as loudly and incessantly80 as if he had been employed in all the active offices of life. I heard involuntarily the secret of his dreams. I knew he had murdered his father, but I did not know that the vision of parricide81 haunted him in his broken visions. My sleep was first broken by sounds as horrible as any I ever had heard at my bed-side in the convent. I heard sounds that disturbed me, but I was not yet fully82 awake. They increased, they redoubled, — the terrors of my habitual83 associations awoke me. I imagined the Superior and the whole community pursuing us with lighted torches. I felt the blaze of the lights in contact with my very eye-balls. I shrieked84. I said, ‘Spare my sight, do not blind me, do not drive me mad, and I will confess all.’ A deep voice near me muttered, ‘Confess.’ I started up fully awake, — it was only the voice of my sleeping companion. I stood on my feet, I viewed him as he lay. He heaved and wallowed on his bed of stone, as if it had been down. He seemed to have a frame of adamant86. The jagged points of stone, the hardness of the floor, the ruts and rudenesses of his inhospitable bed, produced no effect on him. He could have slept, but his dreams were from within. I have heard, I have read, of the horrors attending the dying beds of the guilty. They often told us of such in the convent. One monk87 in particular, who was a priest, was fond of dwelling88 on a death-bed scene he had witnessed, and of describing its horrors. He related that he had urged a person, who was sitting calmly in his chair, though evidently dying, to intrust him with his confession89. The dying person answered, ‘I will, when those leave the room.’ The monk, conceiving that this referred to the relatives and friends, motioned them to retire. They did so, and again the monk renewed his demands on the conscience of the penitent90. The room was now empty. The monk renewed his adjuration91 to the dying man to disclose the secrets of his conscience. The answer was the same, — ‘I will, when those are gone.’ — ‘Those!’ — ‘Yes, those whom you cannot see, and cannot banish92, — send them away, and I will tell you the truth.’ — ‘Tell it now, then; there are none here but you and me.’ — ‘There are,’ answered the dying man. ‘There are none that I can see,’ said the monk, gazing round the room. ‘But there are those that I do see,’ replied the dying wretch93; ‘and that see me; that are watching, waiting for me, the moment the breath is out of my body. I see them, I feel them, — stand on my right side.’ The monk changed his position. ‘Now they are on the left.’ The monk shifted again. ‘Now they are on my right.’ The monk commanded the children and relatives of the dying wretch to enter the room, and surround the bed. They obeyed the command. ‘Now they are every where,’ exclaimed the sufferer, and expired.1
1 Fact, — me ipso teste.
‘This terrible story came freshly to my recollection, accompanied by many others. I had heard much of the terrors that surrounded the dying bed of the guilty, but, from what I was compelled to hear, I almost believe them to be less than the terrors of a guilty sleep. I have said my companion began at first with low mutterings, but among them I could distinguish sounds that reminded me too soon of all I wished to forget, at least while we were together. He murmured, ‘An old man? — yes, — well, the less blood in him. Grey hairs? — no matter, my crimes have helped to turn them grey, — he ought to have rent them from the roots long ago. They are white, you say? — well, to-night they shall be dyed in blood, then they will be white no longer. Aye, — he will hold them up at the day of judgment94, like a banner of condemnation95 against me. He will stand at the head of an army stronger than the army of martyrs96, — the host of those whose murderers have been their own children. What matter whether they cut their parents hearts or their throats. I have cut one through and through, to the very core, — now for the other, it will give him less pain, I feel that,’ — and he laughed, shuddered, and writhed97 on his stony98 bed. Trembling with horror ineffable99, I tried to awake him. I shook his muscular arms, I rolled him on his back, on his face, — nothing could awake him. It seemed as if I was only rocking him on his cradle of stone. He went on, ‘Secure the purse, I know the drawer of the cabinet where it lies, but secure him first. Well, then, you cannot, — you shudder61 at his white hairs, at his calm sleep! — ha! ha! that villains100 should be fools. Well, then, I must be the man, it is but a short struggle with him or me, — he may be damned, and I must. Hush101, — how the stairs creak, they will not tell him it is his son’s foot that is ascending102? — They dare not, the stones of the wall would give them the lie. Why did you not oil the hinges of the door? — now for it. He sleeps intensely, — aye, how calm he looks! — the calmer the fitter for heaven. Now, — now, my knee is on his breast, — where is the knife? — where is the knife? — if he looks at me I am lost. The knife, — I am a coward; the knife, — if he opens his eyes I am gone; the knife, ye cursed cravens, — who dare shrink when I have griped my father’s throat? There, — there, — there, — blood to the hilt, — the old man’s blood; look for the money, while I wipe the blade. I cannot wipe it, the grey hairs are mingled104 with the blood, — those hairs brushed my lips the last time he kissed me. I was a child then. I would not have taken a world to murder him then, now, — now, what am I? Ha! ha! ha! Let Judas shake his bag of silver against mine, — he betrayed his Saviour105, and I have murdered my father. Silver against silver, and soul against soul. I have got more for mine, — he was a fool to sell his for thirty. But for which of us will the last fire burn hotter? — no matter, I am going to try.’ At these horrible expressions, repeated over and over, I called, I shrieked to my companion to awake. He did so, with a laugh almost as wild as the chattering106 of his dreams. ‘Well, what have you heard? I murdered him, — you knew that long before. You trusted me in this cursed adventure, which will risk the life of both, and can you not bear to hear me speak to myself, though I am only telling what you knew before?’ — ‘No, I cannot bear it,’ I answered, in an agony of horror; ‘not even to effect my escape, could I undertake to sustain another hour like the past, — the prospect107 of seclusion108 here for a whole day amid famine, damps, and darkness, listening to the ravings of a — . Look not at me with that glare of mockery, I know it all, I shudder at your sight. Nothing but the iron link of necessity could have bound me to you even for a moment. I am bound to you, — I must bear it while it continues, but do not make those moments insupportable. My life and liberty are in your hands, — I must add my reason, too, in the circumstances in which we are plunged109, — I cannot sustain your horrible eloquence110 of sleep. If I am forced to listen to it again, you may bear me alive from these walls, but you will bear me away an ideot, stupified by terrors which my brain is unable to support. Do not sleep, I adjure111 you. Let me watch beside you during this wretched day, — this day which is to be measured by darkness and suffering, instead of light and enjoyment. I am willing to famish with hunger, to shudder with cold, to couch on these hard stones, but I cannot bear your dreams, — if you sleep, I must rouse you in defence of my reason. All physical strength is failing me fast, and I am become more jealous of the preservation112 of my intellect. Do not cast at me those looks of defiance113, I am your inferior in strength, but despair makes us equal.’ As I spoke, my voice sounded like thunder in my own ears, my eyes flashed visibly to myself. I felt the power that passion gives us, and I saw that my companion felt it too. I went on, in a tone that made myself start, ‘If you dare to sleep, I will wake you, — if you dose even, you shall not have a moment undisturbed, — you shall wake with me. For this long day we must starve and shiver together, I have wound myself up to it. I can bear every thing, — every thing but the dreams of him whose sleep reveals to him the vision of a murdered parent. Wake, — rave103, — blaspheme, — but sleep you shall not!’
‘The man stared at me for some time, almost incredulous of my being capable of such energy of passion and command. But when he had, by the help of his dilated114 eyes, and gaping115 mouth, appeared to satisfy himself fully of the fact, his expression suddenly changed. He appeared to feel a community of nature with me for the first time. Any thing of ferocity appeared congenial and balsamic to him; and, with oaths, that froze my blood, swore he liked me the better for my resolution. ‘I will keep awake,’ he added, with a yawn that distended116 like the jaws117 of an Ogre preparing for his cannibal feast. Then suddenly relaxing, ‘But how shall we keep awake? We have nothing to eat, nothing to drink, what shall we do to keep awake?’ And incontinently he uttered a volley of curses. Then he began to sing. But what songs? — full of such ribaldry and looseness, that, bred as I was first in domestic privacy, and then in the strictness of a convent, made me believe it was an incarnate118 demon that was howling beside me. I implored119 him to cease, but this man could pass so instantaneously from the extremes of atrocity120 to those of levity121, — from the ravings of guilt and horror ineffable, to songs that would insult a brothel, that I knew not what to make of him. This union of antipodes, this unnatural alliance of the extremes of guilt and light-mindedness, I had never met or imagined before. He started from the visions of a parricide, and sung songs that would have made a harlot blush. How ignorant of life I must have been, not to know that guilt and insensibility often join to tenant122 and deface the same mansion123, and that there is not a more strong and indissoluble alliance on earth, than that between the hand that dare do any thing, and the heart that can feel nothing.
‘It was in the midst of one of his most licentious124 songs, that my companion suddenly paused. He gazed about him for some time; and faint and dismal125 as the light was by which we beheld126 each other, I thought I could observe an extraordinary expression overshadow his countenance127. I did not venture to notice it. ‘Do you know where we are?’ he whispered. ‘Too well; — in the vault of a convent, beyond the help or reach of man, — without food, without light, and almost without hope.’ — ‘Aye, so its last inhabitants might well say.’ — ‘Its last inhabitants! — who were they?’ — ‘I can tell you, if you can bear it.’ — ‘I cannot bear it,’ I cried, stopping my ears, ‘I will not listen to it. I feel by the narrator it must be something horrid128.’ — -‘It was indeed a horrid night,’ said he, unconsciously adverting129 to some circumstance in the narrative130; and his voice sunk into mutterings, and he forbore to mention the subject further. I retired131 as far from him as the limits of the vault admitted; and, burying my head between my knees, tried to forbear to think. What a state of mind must that be, in which we are driven to wish we no longer had one! — when we would willingly become ‘as the beasts that perish,’ to forget that privilege of humanity, which only seems an undisputed title to superlative misery132! To sleep was impossible. Though sleep seems to be only a necessity of nature, it always requires an act of the mind to concur133 in it. And if I had been willing to rest, the gnawings of hunger, which now began to be exchanged for the most deadly sickness, would have rendered it impossible. Amid this complication of physical and mental suffering, it is hardly credible31, Sir, but it is not the less true, that my principal one arose from the inanity134, the want of occupation, inevitably135 attached to my dreary136 situation. To inflict42 a suspension of the action on a being conscious of possessing the powers of action, and burning for their employment, — to forbid all interchange of mutual137 ideas, or acquirement of new ones to an intellectual being, — to do this, is to invent a torture that might make Phalaris blush for his impotence of cruelty.
‘I had felt other sufferings almost intolerable, but I felt this impossible to sustain; and, will you believe it, Sir, after wrestling with it during an hour (as I counted hours) of unimaginable misery, I rose, and supplicated138 my companion to relate the circumstance he had alluded139 to, as connected with our dreadful abode140. His ferocious141 good nature took part with this request in a moment; and though I could see that his strong frame had suffered more than my comparatively feeble one, from the struggles of the night and the privations of the day, he prepared himself with a kind of grim alacrity142 for the effort. He was now in his element. He was enabled to daunt143 a feeble mind by the narration144 of horrors, and to amaze an ignorant one with a display of crimes; — and he needed no more to make him commence. ‘I remember,’ said he, ‘an extraordinary circumstance connected with this vault. I wondered how I felt so familiar with this door, this arch, at first. — I did not recollect immediately, so many strange thoughts have crossed my mind every day, that events which would make a life-lasting impression on others, pass like shadows before me, while thoughts appear like substances. Emotions are my events — you know what brought me to this cursed convent — well, don’t shiver or look paler — you were pale before. However it was, I found myself in the convent, and I was obliged to subscribe146 to its discipline. A part of it was, that extraordinary criminals should undergo what they called extraordinary penance147; that is, not only submit to every ignominy and rigour of conventual life, (which, fortunately for its penitents148, is never wanting in such amusing resources), but act the part of executioner whenever any distinguished punishment was to be inflicted or witnessed. They did me the honour to believe me particularly qualified149 for this species of recreation, and perhaps they did not flatter me. I had all the humility150 of a saint on trial; but still I had a kind of confidence in my talents of this description, provided they were put to a proper test; and the monks151 had the goodness to assure me, that I never could long be without one in a convent. This was a very tempting152 picture of my situation, but I found these worthy153 people had not in the least exaggerated. An instance occurred a few days after I had the happiness to become a member of this amiable154 community, of whose merits you are doubtless sensible. I was desired to attach myself to a young monk of distinguished family, who had lately taken the vows155, and who performed his duties with that heartless punctuality that intimated to the community that his heart was elsewhere. I was soon put in possession of the business; from their ordering me to attach myself to him, I instantly conceived I was bound to the most deadly hostility156 against him. The friendship of convents is always a treacherous157 league — we watch, suspect, and torment158 each other, for the love of God. This young monk’s only crime was, that he was suspected of cherishing an earthly passion. He was, in fact, as I have stated, the son of a distinguished family, who (from the fear of his contracting what is called a degrading marriage, i.e. of marrying a woman of inferior rank whom he loved, and who would have made him happy, as fools, that is, half mankind, estimate happiness) forced him to take the vows. He appeared at times broken-hearted, but at times there was a light of hope in his eye, that looked somewhat ominous159 in the eyes of the community. It is certain, that hope not being an indigenous160 plant in the parterre of a convent, must excite suspicion with regard both to its origin and its growth.
‘Some time after, a young novice161 entered the convent. From the moment he did so, a change the most striking took place in the young monk. He and the novice became inseparable companions — there was something suspicious in that. My eyes were on the watch in a moment. Eyes are particularly sharpened in discovering misery when they can hope to aggravate162 it. The attachment163 between the young monk and the novice went on. They were for ever in the garden together — they inhaled164 the odours of the flowers — they cultivated the same cluster of carnations165 — they entwined themselves as they walked together — when they were in the choir167, their voices were like mixed incense168. Friendship is often carried to excess in conventual life, but this friendship was too like love. For instance, the psalms169 sung in the choir sometimes breathe a certain language; at these words, the young monk and the novice would direct their voices to each other in sounds that could not be misunderstood. If the least correction was inflicted, one would intreat to undergo it for the other. If a day of relaxation170 was allowed, whatever presents were sent to the cell of one, were sure to be found in the cell of the other. This was enough for me. I saw that secret of mysterious happiness, which is the greatest misery to those who never can share it. My vigilance was redoubled, and it was rewarded by the discovery of a secret — a secret that I had to communicate and raise my consequence by. You cannot guess the importance attached to the discovery of a secret in a convent, (particularly when the remission of our own offences depends on the discovery of those of others.)
‘One evening as the young monk and his darling novice were in the garden, the former plucked a peach, which he immediately offered to his favourite; the latter accepted it with a movement I thought rather awkward — it seemed like what I imagined would be the reverence of a female. The young monk divided the peach with a knife; in doing so, the knife grazed the finger of the novice and the monk, in agitation171 inexpressible, tore his habit to bind172 up the wound. I saw it all — my mind was made up on the business — I went to the Superior that very night. The result may be conceived. They were watched, but cautiously at first. They were probably on their guard; for, for some time it defied even my vigilance to make the slightest discovery. It is a situation incomparably tantalizing173, when suspicion is satisfied of her own suggestions, as of the truth of the gospel, but still wants the little fact to make them credible to others. One night that I had, by direction of the Superior, taken my station in the gallery, (where I was contented174 to remain hour after hour, and night after night, amid solitude175, darkness, and cold, for the chance of the power of retaliating176 on others the misery inflicted on myself) — One night, I thought I heard a step in the gallery — I have told you that I was in the dark — a light step passed me. I could hear the broken and palpitating respiration177 of the person. A few moments after, I heard a door open, and knew it to be the door of the young monk. I knew it; for by long watching in the dark, and accustoming178 myself to number the cells, by the groan179 from one, the prayer from another, the faint shriek85 of restless dreams from a third, my ear had become so finely graduated, that I could instantly distinguish the opening of that door, from which (to my sorrow) no sound had ever before issued. I was provided with a small chain, by which I fastened the handle of the door to a contiguous one, in such a manner, that it was impossible to open either of them from the inside. I then hastened to the Superior, with a pride of which none but the successful tracer of a guilty secret in convents, can have any conception. I believe the Superior was himself agitated180 by the luxury of the same feelings, for he was awake and up in his apartment, attended by four monks, whom you may remember.’ I shuddered at the remembrance. ‘I communicated my intelligence with a voluble eagerness, not only unsuited to the respect I owed these persons, but which must have rendered me almost unintelligible181, yet they were good enough not only to overlook this violation182 of decorum, which would in any other case have been severely183 punished, but even to supply certain pauses in my narrative, with a condescension184 and facility truly miraculous185. I felt what it was to acquire importance in the eyes of a Superior, and gloried in all the dignified186 depravity of an informer. We set out without losing a moment, — we arrived at the door of the cell, and I pointed14 out with triumph the chain unremoved, though a slight vibration187, perceptible at our approach, showed the wretches188 within were already apprised189 of their danger. I unfastened the door, — how they must have shuddered! The Superior and his satellites burst into the cell, and I held the light. You tremble, — why? I was guilty, and I wished to witness guilt that palliated mine, at least in the opinion of the convent. I had only violated the laws of nature, but they had outraged190 the decorum of a convent, and, of course, in the creed192 of a convent, there was no proportion between our offences. Besides, I was anxious to witness misery that might perhaps equal or exceed my own, and this is a curiosity not easily satisfied. It is actually possible to become amateurs in suffering. I have heard of men who have travelled into countries where horrible executions were to be daily witnessed, for the sake of that excitement which the sight of suffering never fails to give, from the spectacle of a tragedy, or an auto193 da fe, down to the writhings of the meanest reptile194 on whom you can inflict torture, and feel that torture is the result of your own power. It is a species of feeling of which we never can divest195 ourselves, — a triumph over those whose sufferings have placed them below us, and no wonder, — suffering is always an indication of weakness, — we glory in our impenetrability. I did, as we burst into the cell. The wretched husband and wife were locked in each others arms. You may imagine the scene that followed. Here I must do the Superior reluctant justice. He was a man (of course from his conventual feelings) who had no more idea of the intercourse196 between the sexes, than between two beings of a different species. The scene that he beheld could not have revolted him more, than if he had seen the horrible loves of the baboons197 and the Hottentot women, at the Cape1 of Good Hope; or those still more loathsome198 unions between the serpents of South America and their human victims,1 when they can catch them, and twine166 round them in folds of unnatural and ineffable union. He really stood as much astonished and appalled199, to see two human beings of different sexes, who dared to love each other in spite of monastic ties, as if he had witnessed the horrible conjunctions I have alluded to. Had he seen vipers200 engendering201 in that frightful202 knot which seems the pledge of mortal hostility, instead of love, he could not have testified more horror, — and I do him the justice to believe he felt all he testified. Whatever affectation he might employ on points of conventual austerity, there was none here. Love was a thing he always believed connected with sin, even though consecrated203 by the name of a sacrament, and called marriage, as it is in our church. But, love in a convent! — Oh, there is no conceiving his rage; still less is it possible to conceive the majestic204 and overwhelming extent of that rage, when strengthened by principle, and sanctified by religion. I enjoyed the scene beyond all power of description. I saw those wretches, who had triumphed over me, reduced to my level in a moment, — their passions all displayed, and the display placing me a hero triumphant205 above all. I had crawled to the shelter of their walls, a wretched degraded outcast, and what was my crime? Well, — you shudder, I have done with that. I can only say want drove me to it. And here were beings whom, a few months before, I would have knelt to as to the images round the shrine206, — to whom, in the moments of my desperate penitence207, I would have clung as to the ‘horns of the altar,’ all brought as low, and lower than myself. ‘Sons of the morning,’ as I deemed them in the agonies of my humiliation208, ‘how were they fallen!’ I feasted on the degradation209 of the apostate210 monk and novice, — I enjoyed, to the core of my ulcerated heart, the passion of the Superior, — I felt that they were all men like myself. Angels, as I had thought them, they had all proved themselves mortal; and, by watching their motions, and flattering their passions, and promoting their interest, or setting up my own in opposition211 to them all, while I made them believe it was only theirs I was intent on, I might make shift to contrive212 as much misery to others, and to carve out as much occupation to myself, as if I were actually living in the world. Cutting my father’s throat was a noble feat25 certainly, (I ask your pardon, I did not mean to extort213 that groan from you), but here were hearts to be cut, — and to the core, every day, and all day long, so I never could want employment.’
1 Vide Charlevoix’s History of Paraguay.
‘Here he wiped his hard brow, drew his breath for a moment, and then said, ‘I do not quite like to go through the details by which this wretched pair were deluded214 into the hope of effecting their escape from the convent. It is enough that I was the principal agent, — that the Superior connived215 at it, — that I led them through the very passages you have traversed to-night, they trembling and blessing me at every step, — that — ‘ ‘Stop,’ I cried; ‘wretch! you are tracing my course this night step by step.’ — ‘What?’ he retorted, with a ferocious laugh, ‘you think I am betraying you, then; and if it were true, what good would your suspicions do you, — you are in my power? My voice might summon half the convent to seize you this moment, — my arm might fasten you to that wall, till those dogs of death, that wait but my whistle, plunged their fangs216 into your very vitals. I fancy you would not find their bite less keen, from their tusks217 being so long sharpened by an immersion218 in holy water.’ Another laugh, that seemed to issue from the lungs of a demon, concluded this sentence. ‘I know I am in your power,’ I answered; ‘and were I to trust to that, or to your heart, I had better dash out my brains at once against these walls of rock, which I believe are not harder than the latter. But I know your interests to be some way or other connected with my escape, and therefore I trust you, — because I must. Though my blood, chilled as it is by famine and fatigue219, seems frozen in every drop while I listen to you, yet listen I must, and trust my life and liberation to you. I speak to you with the horrid confidence our situation has taught me, — I hate, — I dread8 you. If we were to meet in life, I would shrink from you with loathings of unspeakable abhorrence220, but here mutual misery has mixed the most repugnant substances in unnatural coalition221. The force of that alchemy must cease at the moment of my escape from the convent and from you; yet, for these miserable222 hours, my life is as much dependent on your exertions and presence, as my power of supporting them is on the continuance of your horrible tale, — go on, then. Let us struggle through this dreadful day. Day! a name unknown here, where noon and night shake hands that never unlock. Let us struggle through it, ‘hateful and hating one another,’ and when it has passed, let us curse and part.’
‘As I uttered these words, Sir, I felt that terrible confidence of hostility which the worst beings are driven to in the worst of circumstances, and I question whether there is a more horrible situation than that in which we cling to each other’s hate, instead of each other’s love, — in which, at every step of our progress, we hold a dagger223 to our companion’s breast, and say, ‘If you faulter for a moment, this is in your heart. I hate, — I fear, but I must bear with you.’ It was singular to me, though it would not be so to those who investigate human nature, that, in proportion as my situation inspired me with a ferocity quite unsuited to our comparative situations, and which must have been the result of the madness of despair and famine, my companion’s respect for me appeared to increase. After a long pause, he asked, might he continue his story? I could not speak, for, after the slightest exertion29, the sickness of deadly hunger returned on me, and I could only signify, by a feeble motion of my hand, that he might go on.
‘They were conducted here,’ he continued; ‘I had suggested the plan, and the Superior consented to it. He would not be present, but his dumb nod was enough. I was the conductor of their (intended) escape; they believed they were departing with the connivance224 of the Superior. I led them through those very passages that you and I have trod. I had a map of this subterranean225 region, but my blood ran cold as I traversed it; and it was not at all inclined to resume its usual temperament226, as I felt what was to be the destination of my attendants. Once I turned the lamp, on pretence227 of trimming it, to catch a glimpse of the devoted228 wretches. They were embracing each other, — the light of joy trembled in their eyes. They were whispering to each other hopes of liberation and happiness, and blending my name in the interval229 they could spare from their prayers for each other. That sight extinguished the last remains of compunction with which my horrible task had inspired me. They dared to be happy in the sight of one who must be for ever miserable, — could there be a greater insult? I resolved to punish it on the spot. This very apartment was near, — I knew it, and the map of their wanderings no longer trembled in my hand. I urged them to enter this recess, (the door was then entire), while I went to examine the passage. They entered it, thanking me for my precaution, — they knew not they were never to quit it alive. But what were their lives for the agony their happiness cost me? The moment they were inclosed, and clasping each other, (a sight that made me grind my teeth), I closed and locked the door. This movement gave them no immediate145 uneasiness, — they thought it a friendly precaution. The moment they were secured, I hastened to the Superior, who was on fire at the insult offered to the sanctity of his convent, and still more to the purity of his penetration230, on which the worthy Superior piqued231 himself as much as if it had ever been possible for him to acquire the smallest share of it. He descended232 with me to the passage, — the monks followed with eyes on fire. In the agitation of their rage, it was with difficulty they could discover the door after I had repeatedly pointed it out to them. The Superior, with his own hands, drove several nails, which the monks eagerly supplied, into the door, that effectually joined it to the staple233, never to be disjoined; and every blow he gave, doubtless he felt as if it was a reminiscence to the accusing angel, to strike out a sin from the catalogue of his accusations234. The work was soon done, — the work never to be undone. At the first sound of steps in the passage, and blows on the door, the victims uttered a shriek of terror. They imagined they were detected, and that an incensed235 party of monks were breaking open the door. These terrors were soon exchanged for others, — and worse, — as they heard the door nailed up, and listened to our departing steps.
They uttered another shriek, but O how different was the accent of its despair! — they knew their doom236. * * * * *
It was my penance (no, — my delight) to watch at the door, under the pretence of precluding237 the possibility of their escape, (of which they knew there was no possibility); but, in reality, not only to inflict on me the indignity238 of being the convent gaoler, but of teaching me that callosity of heart, and induration of nerve, and stubbornness of eye, and apathy239 of ear, that were best suited to my office. But they might have saved themselves the trouble, — I had them all before ever I entered the convent. Had I been the Superior of the community, I should have undertaken the office of watching the door. You will call this cruelty, I call it curiosity, — that curiosity that brings thousands to witness a tragedy, and makes the most delicate female feast on groans240 and agonies. I had an advantage over them, — the groan, the agony I feasted on, were real. I took my station at the door — that door which, like that of Dante’s hell, might have borne the inscription241, ‘Here is no hope,’ — with a face of mock penitence, and genuine — cordial delectation. I could hear every word that transpired242. For the first hours they tried to comfort each other, — they suggested to each other hopes of liberation, — and as my shadow, crossing the threshold, darkened or restored the light, they said, ‘That is he;’ — then, when this occurred repeatedly, without any effect, they said, ‘No, — no, it is not he,’ and swallowed down the sick sob243 of despair, to hide it from each other. Towards night a monk came to take my place, and to offer me food. I would not have quitted my place for worlds; but I talked to the monk in his own language, and told him I would make a merit with God of my sacrifices, and was resolved to remain there all night, with the permission of the Superior. The monk was glad of having a substitute on such easy terms, and I was glad of the food he left me, for I was hungry now, but I reserved the appetite of my soul for richer luxuries. I heard them talking within. While I was eating, I actually lived on the famine that was devouring244 them, but of which they did not dare to say a word to each other. They debated, deliberated, and, as misery grows ingenious in its own defence, they at last assured each other that it was impossible the Superior had locked them in there to perish by hunger. At these words I could not help laughing. This laugh reached their ears, and they became silent in a moment. All that night, however, I heard their groans, — those groans of physical suffering, that laugh to scorn all the sentimental245 sighs that are exhaled246 from the hearts of the most intoxicated247 lovers that ever breathed. I heard them all that night. I had read French romances, and all their unimaginable nonsense. Madame Sevignè herself says she would have been tired of her daughter in a long tete-a-tete journey, but clap me two lovers into a dungeon, without food, light, or hope, and I will be damned (that I am already, by the bye) if they do not grow sick of each other within the first twelve hours. The second day hunger and darkness had their usual influence. They shrieked for liberation, and knocked loud and long at their dungeon door. They exclaimed they were ready to submit to any punishment; and the approach of the monks, which they would have dreaded so much the preceding night, they now solicited248 on their knees. What a jest, after all, are the most awful vicissitudes of human life! — they supplicated now for what they would have sacrificed their souls to avert249 four-and-twenty hours before. Then the agony of hunger increased, they shrunk from the door, and grovelled250 apart from each other. Apart! — how I watched that. They were rapidly becoming objects of hostility to each other, — oh what a feast to me! They could not disguise from each other the revolting circumstances of their mutual sufferings. It is one thing for lovers to sit down to a feast magnificently spread, and another for lovers to couch in darkness and famine, — to exchange that appetite which cannot be supported without dainties and flattery, for that which would barter77 a descended Venus for a morsel251 of food. The second night they raved252 and groaned253, (as occurred); and, amid their agonies, (I must do justice to women, whom I hate as well as men), the man often accused the female as the cause of all his sufferings, but the woman never, — never reproached him. Her groans might indeed have reproached him bitterly, but she never uttered a word that could have caused him pain. There was a change which I well could mark, however, in their physical feelings. The first day they clung together, and every movement I felt was like that of one person. The next the man alone struggled, and the woman moaned in helplessness. The third night, — how shall I tell it? — but you have bid me go on. All the horrible and loathsome excruciations of famine had been undergone; the disunion of every tie of the heart, of passion, of nature, had commenced. In the agonies of their famished254 sickness they loathed255 each other, — they could have cursed each other, if they had had breath to curse. It was on the fourth night that I heard the shriek of the wretched female, — her lover, in the agony of hunger, had fastened his teeth in her shoulder; — that bosom256 on which he had so often luxuriated, became a meal to him now.’ * * * * *
‘Monster! and you laugh?’ — ‘Yes, I laugh at all mankind, and the imposition they dare to practise when they talk of hearts. I laugh at human passions and human cares, — vice and virtue257, religion and impiety258; they are all the result of petty localities, and artificial situation. One physical want, one severe and abrupt259 lesson from the tintless and shrivelled lip of necessity, is worth all the logic260 of the empty wretches who have presumed to prate261 it, from Zeno down to Burgersdicius. Oh! it silences in a second all the feeble sophistry262 of conventional life, and ascititious passion. Here were a pair who would not have believed all the world on their knees, even though angels had descended to join in the attestation263, that it was possible for them to exist without each other. They had risked every thing, trampled264 on every thing human and divine, to be in each others sight and arms. One hour of hunger undeceived them. A trivial and ordinary want, whose claims at another time they would have regarded as a vulgar interruption of their spiritualised intercourse, not only, by its natural operation, sundered265 it for ever, but, before it ceased, converted that intercourse into a source of torment and hostility inconceivable, except among cannibals. The bitterest enemies on earth could not have regarded each other with more abhorrence than these lovers. Deluded wretches! you boasted of having hearts, I boast I have none, and which of us gained most by the vaunt, let life decide. My story is nearly finished, and so I hope is the day. When I was last here I had something to excite me; — talking of those things is poor employment to one who has been a witness to them. On the sixth day all was still. The door was unnailed, we entered, — they were no more. They lay far from each other, farther than on that voluptuous266 couch into which their passion had converted the mat of a convent bed. She lay contracted in a heap, a lock of her long hair in her mouth. There was a slight scar on her shoulder, — the rabid despair of famine had produced no farther outrage191. He lay extended at his length, — his hand was between his lips; it seemed as if he had not strength to execute the purpose for which he had brought it there. The bodies were brought out for interment. As we removed them into the light, the long hair of the female, falling over a face no longer disguised by the novice’s dress, recalled a likeness267 I thought I could remember. I looked closer, she was my own sister, — my only one, — and I had heard her voice grow fainter and fainter. I had heard — ‘ and his own voice grew fainter — it ceased.
‘Trembling for a life with which my own was linked, I staggered towards him. I raised him half up in my arms, and recollecting268 there must be a current of air through the trap-door, I attempted to trail him along thither269. I succeeded, and, as the breeze played over him, I saw with delight unutterable the diminution270 of the light that streamed through it. It was evening, — there was no longer any necessity, no longer any time for delay. He recovered, for his swoon arose not from exhausted sensibility, but from mere271 inanition. However it was, I found my interest in watching his recovery; and, had I been adequate to the task of observing extraordinary vicissitudes of the human mind, I would have been indeed amazed at the change that he manifested on his recovery. Without the least reference to his late story, or late feelings, he started from my arms at the discovery that the light had diminished, and prepared for our escape through the trap-door, with a restored energy of strength, and sanity272 of intellect, that might have been deemed miraculous if it had occurred in a convent:— Happening to occur full thirty feet below the proper surface for a miracle, it must be put to the account of strong excitement merely. I could not indeed dare to believe a miracle was wrought273 in favour of my profane274 attempt, and so I was glad to put up with second causes. With incredible dexterity275 he climbed up the wall, with the help of the rugged276 stones and my shoulders, — threw open the trap-door, pronounced that all was safe, assisted me to ascend after him, — and, with gasping277 delight, I once more breathed the breath of heaven. The night was perfectly278 dark. I could not distinguish the buildings from the trees, except when a faint breeze gave motion to the latter. To this darkness, I am convinced, I owe the preservation of my reason under such vicissitudes, — the glory of a resplendent night would have driven me mad, emerging from darkness, famine, and cold. I would have wept, and laughed, and knelt, and turned idolater. I would have ‘worshipped the host of heaven, and the moon walking in her brightness.’ Darkness was my best security, in every sense of the word. We traversed the garden, without feeling the ground under our feet. As we approached the wall, I became again deadly sick, — my senses grew giddy, I reeled. I whispered to my companion, ‘Are there not lights gleaming from the convent windows?’ — ‘No, the lights are flashing from your own eyes, — it is only the effect of darkness, famine, and fear, — come on.’ — ‘But I hear a sound of bells.’ — ‘The bells are ringing only in your ears, — an empty stomach is your sexton, and you fancy you hear bells. Is this a time to faulter? — come on, come on. Don’t hang such a dead weight on my arm, — don’t fall, if you can help it. Oh God, he has swooned!’
‘These were the last words I heard. I had fallen, I believe, into his arms. With that instinct that acts most auspiciously279 in the absence of both thought and feeling, he dragged me in his brawny280 arms to the wall, and twisted my cold fingers in the ropes of the ladder. The touch restored me in a moment; and, almost before my hand had touched the ropes, my feet began to ascend them. My companion followed extempore. We reached the summit, — I tottered281 from weakness and terror. I felt a sickly dread, that, though the ladder was there, Juan was not. A moment after a lanthorn flashed in my eyes, — I saw a figure below. I sprung down, careless, in that wild moment, whether I met the dagger of an assassin, or the embrace of a brother. ‘Alonzo, dear Alonzo,’ murmured a voice. ‘Juan, dear Juan,’ was all I could utter, as I felt my shivering breast held close to that of the most generous and affectionate of brothers. ‘How much you must have suffered, — how much I have suffered,’ he whispered; ‘during the last horrible twenty-four hours, I almost gave you up. Make haste, the carriage is not twenty paces off.’ And, as he spoke, the shifting of a lanthorn shewed me those imperious and beautiful features, which I had once dreaded as the pledge of eternal emulation282, but which I now regarded as the smile of the proud but benignant god of my liberation. I pointed to my companion, I could not speak, — hunger was consuming my vitals. Juan supported me, consoled me, encouraged me; did all, and more, than man ever did for man, — than man ever did, perhaps, for the most shrinking and delicate of the other sex under his protection. Oh, with what agony of heart I retrace283 his manly284 tenderness! We waited for my companion, — he descended the wall. ‘Make haste, make haste,’ Juan whispered; ‘I am famishing too. I have not tasted food for four-and-twenty hours, watching for you.’ We hurried on. It was a waste place, — I could only distinguish a carriage by the light of a dim lanthorn, but that was enough for me. I sprung lightly into it. ‘He is safe,’ cried Juan, following me. ‘But are you? answered a voice of thunder. Juan staggered back from the step of the carriage, — he fell. I sprung out, I fell too — on his body. I was bathed in his blood, — he was no more.’
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1
cape
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| n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风 | |
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ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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3
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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immunity
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| n.优惠；免除；豁免，豁免权 | |
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premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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8
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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9
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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11
invoked
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| v.援引( invoke的过去式和过去分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
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undone
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| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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adviser
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| n.劝告者，顾问 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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emancipation
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| n.（从束缚、支配下）解放 | |
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feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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hideousness
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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exertions
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| n.努力( exertion的名词复数 )；费力；（能力、权力等的）运用；行使 | |
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credible
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| adj.可信任的，可靠的 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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deluges
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| v.使淹没( deluge的第三人称单数 )；淹没；被洪水般涌来的事物所淹没；穷于应付 | |
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perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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marrow
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| n.骨髓；精华；活力 | |
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exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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appeased
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| 安抚，抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 )； 绥靖（满足另一国的要求以避免战争） | |
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withering
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| 使人畏缩的，使人害羞的，使人难堪的 | |
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abhorred
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| v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 )；（厌恶地）回避；拒绝；淘汰 | |
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41
invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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42
inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
throb
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| v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动 | |
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45
unison
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| n.步调一致，行动一致 | |
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46
precipitated
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| v.（突如其来地）使发生( precipitate的过去式和过去分词 )；促成；猛然摔下；使沉淀 | |
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47
drench
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| v.使淋透，使湿透 | |
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48
exemption
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| n.豁免，免税额，免除 | |
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49
vicissitudes
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| n.变迁，世事变化；变迁兴衰( vicissitude的名词复数 )；盛衰兴废 | |
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continental
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| adj.大陆的，大陆性的，欧洲大陆的 | |
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51
peals
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| n.（声音大而持续或重复的）洪亮的响声( peal的名词复数 )；隆隆声；洪亮的钟声；钟乐v.（使）（钟等）鸣响，（雷等）发出隆隆声( peal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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52
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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53
blasphemies
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| n.对上帝的亵渎，亵渎的言词[行为]( blasphemy的名词复数 )；侮慢的言词（或行为） | |
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54
drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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55
vault
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| n.拱形圆顶，地窖，地下室 | |
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56
recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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57
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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58
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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59
rust
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| n.锈；v.生锈；(脑子)衰退 | |
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60
dungeon
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| n.地牢，土牢 | |
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61
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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62
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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63
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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64
irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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65
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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66
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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67
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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68
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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69
attainment
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| n.达到，到达；［常pl.］成就，造诣 | |
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70
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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71
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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72
immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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73
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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74
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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75
immortality
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| n.不死，不朽 | |
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76
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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77
barter
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| n.物物交换，以货易货，实物交易 | |
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78
bartered
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| v.作物物交换，以货换货( barter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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79
refreshment
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| n.恢复，精神爽快，提神之事物；（复数）refreshments:点心，茶点 | |
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80
incessantly
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| ad.不停地 | |
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81
parricide
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| n.杀父母；杀亲罪 | |
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82
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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83
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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84
shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85
shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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86
adamant
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| adj.坚硬的，固执的 | |
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87
monk
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| n.和尚，僧侣，修道士 | |
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88
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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89
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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90
penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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91
adjuration
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| n.祈求，命令 | |
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92
banish
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| vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除 | |
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93
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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94
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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95
condemnation
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| n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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96
martyrs
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| n.martyr的复数形式；烈士( martyr的名词复数 )；殉道者；殉教者；乞怜者（向人诉苦以博取同情） | |
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97
writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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98
stony
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| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
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99
ineffable
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| adj.无法表达的，不可言喻的 | |
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100
villains
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| n.恶棍( villain的名词复数 )；罪犯；（小说、戏剧等中的）反面人物；淘气鬼 | |
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101
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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102
ascending
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| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
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103
rave
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| vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬 | |
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104
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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105
saviour
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| n.拯救者，救星 | |
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106
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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107
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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108
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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109
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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110
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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111
adjure
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| v.郑重敦促(恳请) | |
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112
preservation
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| n.保护，维护，保存，保留，保持 | |
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113
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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114
dilated
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| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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115
gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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116
distended
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| v.（使）膨胀，肿胀( distend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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117
jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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118
incarnate
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| adj.化身的，人体化的，肉色的 | |
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119
implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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120
atrocity
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| n.残暴，暴行 | |
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121
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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122
tenant
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| n.承租人；房客；佃户；v.租借，租用 | |
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123
mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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124
licentious
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| adj.放纵的，淫乱的 | |
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125
dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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126
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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127
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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128
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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129
adverting
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| 引起注意（advert的现在分词形式） | |
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130
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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131
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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132
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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133
concur
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| v.同意，意见一致，互助，同时发生 | |
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134
inanity
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| n.无意义，无聊 | |
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135
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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136
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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137
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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138
supplicated
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| v.祈求，哀求，恳求( supplicate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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139
alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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140
abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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141
ferocious
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| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
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142
alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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143
daunt
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| vt.使胆怯，使气馁 | |
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144
narration
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| n.讲述，叙述；故事；记叙体 | |
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145
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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146
subscribe
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| vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助 | |
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147
penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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148
penitents
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| n.后悔者( penitent的名词复数 )；忏悔者 | |
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149
qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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150
humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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151
monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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152
tempting
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| a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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153
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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154
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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155
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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156
hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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157
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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158
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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159
ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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160
indigenous
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| adj.土产的，土生土长的，本地的 | |
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161
novice
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| adj.新手的，生手的 | |
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162
aggravate
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| vt.加重(剧)，使恶化；激怒，使恼火 | |
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163
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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164
inhaled
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| v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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165
carnations
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| n.麝香石竹，康乃馨( carnation的名词复数 ) | |
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166
twine
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| v.搓，织，编饰；（使）缠绕 | |
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167
choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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168
incense
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| v.激怒；n.香，焚香时的烟，香气 | |
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169
psalms
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| n.赞美诗( psalm的名词复数 )；圣诗；圣歌；(中的) | |
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170
relaxation
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| n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐 | |
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171
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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172
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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173
tantalizing
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| adj.逗人的；惹弄人的；撩人的；煽情的v.逗弄，引诱，折磨( tantalize的现在分词 ) | |
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174
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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175
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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176
retaliating
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| v.报复，反击( retaliate的现在分词 ) | |
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177
respiration
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| n.呼吸作用；一次呼吸；植物光合作用 | |
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178
accustoming
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| v.（使）习惯于( accustom的现在分词 ) | |
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179
groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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180
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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181
unintelligible
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| adj.无法了解的，难解的，莫明其妙的 | |
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182
violation
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| n.违反(行为)，违背(行为)，侵犯 | |
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183
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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184
condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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185
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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186
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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187
vibration
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| n.颤动，振动；摆动 | |
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188
wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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189
apprised
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| v.告知，通知( apprise的过去式和过去分词 )；评价 | |
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190
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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191
outrage
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| n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒 | |
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192
creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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193
auto
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| n.(=automobile)(口语)汽车 | |
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194
reptile
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| n.爬行动物；两栖动物 | |
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195
divest
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| v.脱去，剥除 | |
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196
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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197
baboons
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| n.狒狒( baboon的名词复数 ) | |
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198
loathsome
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| adj.讨厌的，令人厌恶的 | |
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199
appalled
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| v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的 | |
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200
vipers
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| n.蝰蛇( viper的名词复数 )；毒蛇；阴险恶毒的人；奸诈者 | |
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201
engendering
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| v.产生（某形势或状况），造成，引起( engender的现在分词 ) | |
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202
frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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203
consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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204
majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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205
triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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206
shrine
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| n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣 | |
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207
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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208
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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209
degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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210
apostate
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| n.背叛者，变节者 | |
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211
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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212
contrive
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| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
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213
extort
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| v.勒索，敲诈，强要 | |
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214
deluded
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| v.欺骗，哄骗( delude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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215
connived
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| v.密谋 ( connive的过去式和过去分词 )；搞阴谋；默许；纵容 | |
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216
fangs
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| n.（尤指狗和狼的）长而尖的牙( fang的名词复数 )；（蛇的）毒牙；罐座 | |
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217
tusks
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| n.（象等动物的）长牙( tusk的名词复数 )；獠牙；尖形物；尖头 | |
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218
immersion
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| n.沉浸；专心 | |
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219
fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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220
abhorrence
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| n.憎恶；可憎恶的事 | |
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221
coalition
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| n.结合体，同盟，结合，联合 | |
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222
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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223
dagger
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| n.匕首，短剑，剑号 | |
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224
connivance
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| n.纵容；默许 | |
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225
subterranean
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| adj.地下的，地表下的 | |
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226
temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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227
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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228
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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229
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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230
penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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231
piqued
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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232
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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233
staple
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| n.主要产物，常用品，主要要素，原料，订书钉，钩环；adj.主要的，重要的；vt.分类 | |
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234
accusations
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| n.指责( accusation的名词复数 )；指控；控告；（被告发、控告的）罪名 | |
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235
incensed
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| 盛怒的 | |
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236
doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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237
precluding
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| v.阻止( preclude的现在分词 )；排除；妨碍；使…行不通 | |
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238
indignity
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| n.侮辱，伤害尊严，轻蔑 | |
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239
apathy
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| n.漠不关心，无动于衷；冷淡 | |
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240
groans
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| n.呻吟，叹息( groan的名词复数 )；呻吟般的声音v.呻吟( groan的第三人称单数 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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241
inscription
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| n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文 | |
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242
transpired
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| （事实，秘密等）被人知道( transpire的过去式和过去分词 )； 泄露； 显露； 发生 | |
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243
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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244
devouring
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| 吞没( devour的现在分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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245
sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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246
exhaled
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| v.呼出，发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气 | |
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247
intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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248
solicited
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| v.恳求( solicit的过去式和过去分词 )；（指娼妇）拉客；索求；征求 | |
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249
avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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250
grovelled
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| v.卑躬屈节，奴颜婢膝( grovel的过去式和过去分词 )；趴 | |
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251
morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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252
raved
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| v.胡言乱语( rave的过去式和过去分词 )；愤怒地说；咆哮；痴心地说 | |
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253
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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254
famished
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| adj.饥饿的 | |
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255
loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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256
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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257
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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258
impiety
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| n.不敬；不孝 | |
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259
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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260
logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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261
prate
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| v.瞎扯，胡说 | |
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262
sophistry
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| n.诡辩 | |
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263
attestation
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| n.证词 | |
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264
trampled
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| 踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 )； 践踏； 无视； 侵犯 | |
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265
sundered
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| v.隔开，分开( sunder的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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266
voluptuous
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| adj.肉欲的，骄奢淫逸的 | |
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267
likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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268
recollecting
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| v.记起，想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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269
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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270
diminution
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| n.减少；变小 | |
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271
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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272
sanity
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| n.心智健全，神智正常，判断正确 | |
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273
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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274
profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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275
dexterity
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| n.(手的)灵巧，灵活 | |
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276
rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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277
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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278
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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279
auspiciously
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| adv.吉利； 繁荣昌盛； 前途顺利； 吉祥 | |
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280
brawny
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| adj.强壮的 | |
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281
tottered
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| v.走得或动得不稳( totter的过去式和过去分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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282
emulation
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| n.竞争；仿效 | |
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283
retrace
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| v.折回；追溯，探源 | |
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284
manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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