The land suddenly at night looms6 up right over your bows, or perhaps the cry of “Broken water ahead!” is raised, and some long mistake, some complicated edifice7 of self-delusion, over-confidence, and wrong reasoning is brought down in a fatal shock, and the heart-searing experience of your ship’s keel scraping and scrunching8 over, say, a coral reef. It is a sound, for its size, far more terrific to your soul than that of a world coming violently to an end. But out of that chaos9 your belief in your own prudence10 and sagacity reasserts itself. You ask yourself, Where on earth did I get to? How on earth did I get there? with a conviction that it could not be your own act, that there has been at work some mysterious conspiracy11 of accident; that the charts are all wrong, and if the charts are not wrong, that land and sea have changed their places; that your misfortune shall for ever remain inexplicable12, since you have lived always with the sense of your trust, the last thing on closing your eyes, the first on opening them, as if your mind had kept firm hold of your responsibility during the hours of sleep.
You contemplate13 mentally your mischance, till little by little your mood changes, cold doubt steals into the very marrow14 of your bones, you see the inexplicable fact in another light. That is the time when you ask yourself, How on earth could I have been fool enough to get there? And you are ready to renounce15 all belief in your good sense, in your knowledge, in your fidelity16, in what you thought till then was the best in you, giving you the daily bread of life and the moral support of other men’s confidence.
The ship is lost or not lost. Once stranded17, you have to do your best by her. She may be saved by your efforts, by your resource and fortitude18 bearing up against the heavy weight of guilt19 and failure. And there are justifiable20 strandings in fogs, on uncharted seas, on dangerous shores, through treacherous21 tides. But, saved or not saved, there remains22 with her commander a distinct sense of loss, a flavour in the mouth of the real, abiding23 danger that lurks24 in all the forms of human existence. It is an acquisition, too, that feeling. A man may be the better for it, but he will not be the same. Damocles has seen the sword suspended by a hair over his head, and though a good man need not be made less valuable by such a knowledge, the feast shall not henceforth have the same flavour.
Years ago I was concerned as chief mate in a case of stranding1 which was not fatal to the ship. We went to work for ten hours on end, laying out anchors in readiness to heave off at high water. While I was still busy about the decks forward I heard the steward25 at my elbow saying: “The captain asks whether you mean to come in, sir, and have something to eat to-day.”
I went into the cuddy. My captain sat at the head of the table like a statue. There was a strange motionlessness of everything in that pretty little cabin. The swing-table which for seventy odd days had been always on the move, if ever so little, hung quite still above the soup-tureen. Nothing could have altered the rich colour of my commander’s complexion26, laid on generously by wind and sea; but between the two tufts of fair hair above his ears, his skull27, generally suffused28 with the hue29 of blood, shone dead white, like a dome30 of ivory. And he looked strangely untidy. I perceived he had not shaved himself that day; and yet the wildest motion of the ship in the most stormy latitudes31 we had passed through, never made him miss one single morning ever since we left the Channel. The fact must be that a commander cannot possibly shave himself when his ship is aground. I have commanded ships myself, but I don’t know; I have never tried to shave in my life.
He did not offer to help me or himself till I had coughed markedly several times. I talked to him professionally in a cheery tone, and ended with the confident assertion:
“We shall get her off before midnight, sir.”
He smiled faintly without looking up, and muttered as if to himself:
“Yes, yes; the captain put the ship ashore32 and we got her off.”
Then, raising his head, he attacked grumpily the steward, a lanky33, anxious youth with a long, pale face and two big front teeth.
“What makes this soup so bitter? I am surprised the mate can swallow the beastly stuff. I’m sure the cook’s ladled some salt water into it by mistake.”
The charge was so outrageous34 that the steward for all answer only dropped his eyelids35 bashfully.
There was nothing the matter with the soup. I had a second helping36. My heart was warm with hours of hard work at the head of a willing crew. I was elated with having handled heavy anchors, cables, boats without the slightest hitch37; pleased with having laid out scientifically bower38, stream, and kedge exactly where I believed they would do most good. On that occasion the bitter taste of a stranding was not for my mouth. That experience came later, and it was only then that I understood the loneliness of the man in charge.
It’s the captain who puts the ship ashore; it’s we who get her off.
点击收听单词发音
1 stranding | |
n.(船只)搁浅v.使滞留,使搁浅( strand的现在分词 ) | |
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2 heralded | |
v.预示( herald的过去式和过去分词 );宣布(好或重要) | |
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3 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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4 awakening | |
n.觉醒,醒悟 adj.觉醒中的;唤醒的 | |
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5 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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6 looms | |
n.织布机( loom的名词复数 )v.隐约出现,阴森地逼近( loom的第三人称单数 );隐约出现,阴森地逼近 | |
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7 edifice | |
n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿,教室) | |
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8 scrunching | |
v.发出喀嚓声( scrunch的现在分词 );蜷缩;压;挤压 | |
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9 chaos | |
n.混乱,无秩序 | |
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10 prudence | |
n.谨慎,精明,节俭 | |
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11 conspiracy | |
n.阴谋,密谋,共谋 | |
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12 inexplicable | |
adj.无法解释的,难理解的 | |
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13 contemplate | |
vt.盘算,计议;周密考虑;注视,凝视 | |
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14 marrow | |
n.骨髓;精华;活力 | |
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15 renounce | |
v.放弃;拒绝承认,宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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16 fidelity | |
n.忠诚,忠实;精确 | |
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17 stranded | |
a.搁浅的,进退两难的 | |
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18 fortitude | |
n.坚忍不拔;刚毅 | |
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19 guilt | |
n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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20 justifiable | |
adj.有理由的,无可非议的 | |
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21 treacherous | |
adj.不可靠的,有暗藏的危险的;adj.背叛的,背信弃义的 | |
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22 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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23 abiding | |
adj.永久的,持久的,不变的 | |
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24 lurks | |
n.潜在,潜伏;(lurk的复数形式)vi.潜伏,埋伏(lurk的第三人称单数形式) | |
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25 steward | |
n.乘务员,服务员;看管人;膳食管理员 | |
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26 complexion | |
n.肤色;情况,局面;气质,性格 | |
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27 skull | |
n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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28 suffused | |
v.(指颜色、水气等)弥漫于,布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29 hue | |
n.色度;色调;样子 | |
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30 dome | |
n.圆屋顶,拱顶 | |
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31 latitudes | |
纬度 | |
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32 ashore | |
adv.在(向)岸上,上岸 | |
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33 lanky | |
adj.瘦长的 | |
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34 outrageous | |
adj.无理的,令人不能容忍的 | |
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35 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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36 helping | |
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
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37 hitch | |
v.免费搭(车旅行);系住;急提;n.故障;急拉 | |
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38 bower | |
n.凉亭,树荫下凉快之处;闺房;v.荫蔽 | |
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