Sofya soon went off somewhere, and reappeared in about five days, merry and vivacious5. Then, in a few hours, she vanished again, and returned within a couple of weeks. It seemed as if she were borne along in life in wide circles.
Nikolay, always occupied, lived a monotonous6, methodical existence. At eight o’clock in the morning he drank tea, read the newspapers, and recounted the news to the mother. He repeated the speeches of the merchants in the Douma without malice7, and clearly depicted8 the life in the city.
Listening to him the mother saw with transparent9 dearness the mechanism10 of this life pitilessly grinding the people in the millstones of money. At nine o’clock he went off to the office.
She tidied the rooms, prepared dinner, washed herself, put on a clean dress, and then sat in her room to examine the pictures and the books. She had already learned to read, but the effort of reading quickly exhausted11 her; and she ceased to understand the meaning of the words. But the pictures were a constant astonishment12 to her. They opened up before her a clear, almost tangible13 world of new and marvelous things. Huge cities arose before her, beautiful structures, machines, ships, monuments, and infinite wealth, created by the people, overwhelming the mind by the variety of nature’s products. Life widened endlessly; each day brought some new, huge wonders. The awakened14 hungry soul of the woman was more and more strongly aroused to the multitude of riches in the world, its countless15 beauties. She especially loved to look through the great folios of the zoological atlas16, and although the text was written in a foreign language, it gave her the clearest conception of the beauty, wealth, and vastness of the earth.
“It’s an immense world,” she said to Nikolay at dinner.
“Yes, and yet the people are crowded for space.”
The insects, particularly the butterflies, astonished her most.
“What beauty, Nikolay Ivanovich,” she observed. “And how much of this fascinating beauty there is everywhere, but all covered up from us; it all flies by without our seeing it. People toss about, they know nothing, they are unable to take delight in anything, they have no inclination17 for it. How many could take happiness to themselves if they knew how rich the earth is, how many wonderful things live in it!”
Nikolay listened to her raptures18, smiled, and brought her new illustrated19 books.
In the evening visitors often gathered in his house — Alexey Vasilyevich, a handsome man, pale-faced, black-bearded, sedate20, and taciturn; Roman Petrovich, a pimply21, round-headed individual always smacking22 his lips regretfully; Ivan Danilovich, a short, lean fellow with a pointed23 beard and thin hair, impetuous, vociferous24, and sharp as an awl25, and Yegor, always joking with his comrades about his sickness. Sometimes other people were present who had come from various distant cities. The long conversations always turned on one and the same thing, on the working people of the world. The comrades discussed the workingmen, got into arguments about them, became heated, waved their hands, and drank much tea; while Nikolay, in the noise of the conversation, silently composed proclamations. Then he read them to the comrades, who copied them on the spot in printed letters. The mother carefully collected the pieces of the torn, rough copies, and burned them.
She poured, out tea for them, and wondered at the warmth with which they discussed life and the workingpeople, the means whereby to sow truth among them the sooner and the better, and how to elevate their spirit. These problems were always agitating26 the comrades; their lives revolved27 about them. Often they angrily disagreed, blamed one another for something, got offended, and again discussed.
The mother felt that she knew the life of the workingmen better than these people, and saw more clearly than they the enormity of the task they assumed. She could look upon them with the somewhat melancholy28 indulgence of a grown-up person toward children who play man and wife without understanding the drama of the relation.
Sometimes Sashenka came. She never stayed long, and always spoke29 in a businesslike way without smiling. She did not once fail to ask on leaving how Pavel Mikhaylovich was.
“Is he well?” she would ask.
“Thank God! So, so. He’s in good spirits.”
“Give him my regards,” the girl would request, and then disappear.
Sometimes the mother complained to Sashenka because Pavel was detained so long and no date was yet set for his trial. Sashenka looked gloomy, and maintained silence, her fingers twitching30. Nilovna was tempted31 to say to her: “My dear girl, why, I know you love him, I know.” But Sashenka’s austere32 face, her compressed lips, and her dry, businesslike manner, which seemed to betoken33 a desire for silence as soon as possible, forbade any demonstration34 of sentiment. With a sigh the mother mutely clasped the hand that the girl extended to her, and thought: “My unhappy girl!”
Once Natasha came. She showed great delight at seeing the mother, kissed her, and among other things announced to her quietly, as if she had just thought of the thing:
“My mother died. Poor woman, she’s dead!” She wiped her eyes with a rapid gesture of her hands, and continued: “I’m sorry for her. She was not yet fifty. She had a long life before her still. But when you look at it from the other side you can’t help thinking that death is easier than such a life — always alone, a stranger to everybody, needed by no one, scared by the shouts of my father. Can you call that living? People live waiting for something good, and she had nothing to expect except insults.”
“You’re right, Natasha,” said the mother musingly35. “People live expecting some good, and if there’s nothing to expect, what sort of a life is it?” Kindly36 stroking Natasha’s hand, she asked: “So you’re alone now?”
“Alone!” the girl rejoined lightly.
The mother was silent, then suddenly remarked with a smile:
“Never mind! A good person does not live alone. People will always attach themselves to a good person.”
Natasha was now a teacher in a little town where there was a textile mill, and Nilovna occasionally procured37 illegal books, proclamations, and newspapers for her. The distribution of literature, in fact, became the mother’s occupation. Several times a month, dressed as a nun38 or as a peddler of laces or small linen39 articles, as a rich merchant’s wife or a religious pilgrim, she rode or walked about with a sack on her back, or a valise in her hand. Everywhere, in the train, in the steamers, in hotels and inns, she behaved simply and unobtrusively. She was the first to enter into conversations with strangers, fearlessly drawing attention to herself by her kind, sociable40 talk and the confident manner of an experienced person who has seen and heard much.
She liked to speak to people, liked to listen to their stories of life, their complaints, their perplexities, and lamentations. Her heart was bathed in joy each time she noticed in anybody poignant41 discontent with life, that discontent which, protesting against the blows of fate, earnestly seeks to find an answer to its questions. Before her the picture of human life unrolled itself ever wider and more varicolored, that restless, anxious life passed in the struggle to fill the stomach. Everywhere she clearly saw the coarse, bare striving, insolent42 in its openness, deceiving man, robbing him, pressing out of him as much sap as possible, draining him of his very lifeblood. She realized that there was plenty of everything upon earth, but that the people were in want, and lived half starved, surrounded by inexhaustible wealth. In the cities stood churches filled with gold and silver, not needed by God, and at the entrance to the churches shivered the beggars vainly awaiting a little copper43 coin to be thrust into their hands. Formerly44 she had seen this, too — rich churches, priestly vestments sewed with gold threads, and the hovels of the poor, their ignominious45 rags. But at that time the thing had seemed natural; now the contrast was irreconcilable46 and insulting to the poor, to whom, she knew, the churches were both nearer and more necessary than to the rich.
From the pictures and stories of Christ, she knew also that he was a friend of the poor, that he dressed simply. But in the churches, where poverty came to him for consolation47, she saw him nailed to the cross with insolent gold, she saw silks and satins flaunting48 in the fact of want. The words of Rybin occurred to her: “They have mutilated even our God for us, they have turned everything in their hands against us. In the churches they set up a scarecrow before us. They have dressed God up in falsehood and calumny49; they have distorted His face in order to destroy our souls!”
Without being herself aware of it, she prayed less; yet, at the same time, she meditated50 more and more upon Christ and the people who, without mentioning his name, as though ignorant of him, lived, it seemed to her, according to his will, and, like him, regarded the earth as the kingdom of the poor, and wanted to divide all the wealth of the earth among the poor. Her reflections grew in her soul, deepening and embracing everything she saw and heard. They grew and assumed the bright aspect of a prayer, suffusing51 an even glow over the entire dark world, the whole of life, and all people.
And it seemed to her that Christ himself, whom she had always loved with a perplexed52 love, with a complicated feeling in which fear was closely bound up with hope, and joyful53 emotion with melancholy, now came nearer to her, and was different from what he had been. His position was loftier, and he was more clearly visible to her. His aspect turned brighter and more cheerful. Now his eyes smiled on her with assurance, and with a live inward power, as if he had in reality risen to life for mankind, washed and vivified by the hot blood lavishly54 shed in his name. Yet those who had lost their blood modestly refrained from mentioning the name of the unfortunate friend of the people.
The mother always returned to Nikolay from her travels delightfully55 exhilarated by what she had seen and heard on the road, bold and satisfied with the work she had accomplished56.
“It’s good to go everywhere, and to see much,” she said to Nikolay in the evening. “You understand how life is arranged. They brush the people aside and fling them to the edge. The people, hurt and wounded, keep moving about, even though they don’t want to, and though they keep thinking: ‘What for? Why do they drive us away? Why must we go hungry when there is so much of everything? And how much intellect there is everywhere! Nevertheless, we must remain in stupidity and darkness. And where is He, the merciful God, in whose eyes there are no rich nor poor, but all are children dear to His heart.’ The people are gradually revolting against this life. They feel that untruth will stifle57 them if they don’t take thought of themselves.”
And in her leisure hours she sat down to the books, and again looked over the pictures, each time finding something new, ever widening the panorama58 of life before her eyes, unfolding the beauties of nature and the vigorous creative capacity of man. Nikolay often found her poring over the pictures. He would smile and always tell her something wonderful. Struck by man’s daring, she would ask him incredulously, “Is it possible?”
Quietly, with unshakable confidence in the truth of his prophecies, Nikolay peered with his kind eyes through his glasses into the mother’s face, and told her stories of the future.
“There is no measure to the desires of man; and his power is inexhaustible,” he said. “But the world, after all, is still very slow in acquiring spiritual wealth. Because nowadays everyone desiring to free himself from dependence59 is compelled to hoard60, not knowledge but money. However, when the people will have exterminated61 greed and will have freed themselves from the bondage62 of enslaving labor63 —”
She listened to him with strained attention. Though she but rarely understood the meaning of his words, yet the calm faith animating64 them penetrated65 her more and more deeply.
“There are extremely few free men in the world — that’s its misfortune,” he said.
This the mother understood. She knew men who had emancipated66 themselves from greed and evil; she understood that if there were more such people, the dark, incomprehensible, and awful face of life would become more kindly and simple, better and brighter.
“A man must perforce be cruel,” said Nikolay dismally67.
The mother nodded her head in confirmation68. She recalled the sayings of the Little Russian.
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1
placidity
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| n.平静，安静，温和 | |
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immured
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| v.禁闭，监禁( immure的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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uneven
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| adj.不平坦的，不规则的，不均匀的 | |
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dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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vivacious
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| adj.活泼的，快活的 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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8
depicted
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| 描绘，描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 )； 描述 | |
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9
transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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mechanism
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| n.机械装置；机构，结构 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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tangible
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| adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的 | |
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14
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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atlas
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| n.地图册，图表集 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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18
raptures
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| 极度欢喜( rapture的名词复数 ) | |
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19
illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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20
sedate
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| adj.沉着的，镇静的，安静的 | |
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pimply
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| adj.肿泡的；有疙瘩的；多粉刺的；有丘疹的 | |
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smacking
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| 活泼的，发出响声的，精力充沛的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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vociferous
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| adj.喧哗的，大叫大嚷的 | |
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awl
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| n.尖钻 | |
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26
agitating
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| 搅动( agitate的现在分词 )； 激怒； 使焦虑不安； （尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而）激烈争论 | |
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27
revolved
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| v.（使）旋转( revolve的过去式和过去分词 )；细想 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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29
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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30
twitching
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| n.颤搐 | |
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31
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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32
austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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33
betoken
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| v.预示 | |
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34
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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musingly
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| adv.沉思地，冥想地 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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37
procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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38
nun
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| n.修女，尼姑 | |
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39
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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40
sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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41
poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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42
insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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43
copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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44
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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45
ignominious
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| adj.可鄙的，不光彩的，耻辱的 | |
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46
irreconcilable
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| adj.（指人）难和解的，势不两立的 | |
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47
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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48
flaunting
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| adj.招摇的，扬扬得意的，夸耀的v.炫耀，夸耀( flaunt的现在分词 )；有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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49
calumny
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| n.诽谤，污蔑，中伤 | |
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50
meditated
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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51
suffusing
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的现在分词 ) | |
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52
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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53
joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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54
lavishly
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| adv.慷慨地，大方地 | |
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55
delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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56
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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57
stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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58
panorama
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| n.全景，全景画，全景摄影，全景照片[装置] | |
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59
dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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60
hoard
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| n./v.窖藏，贮存，囤积 | |
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61
exterminated
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| v.消灭，根绝( exterminate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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62
bondage
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| n.奴役，束缚 | |
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63
labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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64
animating
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| v.使有生气( animate的现在分词 )；驱动；使栩栩如生地动作；赋予…以生命 | |
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65
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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66
emancipated
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| adj.被解放的，不受约束的v.解放某人（尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚）( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
dismally
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| adv.阴暗地，沉闷地 | |
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68
confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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