Although within a few months Enid’s car travelled more than two thousand miles for the Prohibition4 cause, it could not be said that she neglected her house for reform. Whether she neglected her husband depended upon one’s conception of what was his due. When Mrs. Wheeler saw how well their little establishment was conducted, how cheerful and attractive Enid looked when one happened to drop in there, she wondered that Claude was not happy. And Claude himself wondered. If his marriage disappointed him in some respects, he ought to be a man, he told himself, and make the best of what was good in it. If his wife didn’t love him, it was because love meant one thing to him and quite another thing to her. She was proud of him, was glad to see him when he came in from the fields, and was solicitous5 for his comfort. Everything about a man’s embrace was distasteful to Enid; something inflicted6 upon women, like the pain of childbirth, — for Eve’s transgression7, perhaps.
This repugnance8 was more than physical; she disliked ardour of any kind, even religious ardour. She had been fonder of Claude before she married him than she was now; but she hoped for a readjustment. Perhaps sometime she could like him again in exactly the same way. Even Brother Weldon had hinted to her that for the sake of their future tranquillity9 she must be lenient10 with the boy. And she thought she had been lenient. She could not understand his moods of desperate silence, the bitter, biting remarks he sometimes dropped, his evident annoyance11 if she went over to join him in the timber claim when he lay there idle in the deep grass on a Sunday afternoon.
Claude used to lie there and watch the clouds, saying to himself, “It’s the end of everything for me.” Other men than he must have been disappointed, and he wondered how they bore it through a lifetime. Claude had been a well behaved boy because he was an idealist; he had looked forward to being wonderfully happy in love, and to deserving his happiness. He had never dreamed that it might be otherwise.
Sometimes now, when he went out into the fields on a bright summer morning, it seemed to him that Nature not only smiled, but broadly laughed at him. He suffered in his pride, but even more in his ideals, in his vague sense of what was beautiful. Enid could make his life hideous12 to him without ever knowing it. At such times he hated himself for accepting at all her grudging13 hospitality. He was wronging something in himself.
In her person Enid was still attractive to him. He wondered why she had no shades of feeling to correspond to her natural grace and lightness of movement, to the gentle, almost wistful attitudes of body in which he sometimes surprised her. When he came in from work and found her sitting on the porch, leaning against a pillar, her hands clasped about her knees, her head drooping14 a little, he could scarcely believe in the rigidity15 which met him at every turn. Was there something repellent in him? Was it, after all, his fault?
Enid was rather more indulgent with his father than with any one else, he noticed. Mr. Wheeler stopped to see her almost every day, and even took her driving in his old buckboard. Bayliss came out from town to spend the evening occasionally. Enid’s vegetarian16 suppers suited him, and as she worked with him in the Prohibition campaign, they always had business to discuss. Bayliss had a social as well as a hygienic prejudice against alcohol, and he hated it less for the harm it did than for the pleasure it gave. Claude consistently refused to take any part in the activities of the Anti–Saloon League, or to distribute what Bayliss and Enid called “our literature.”
In the farming towns the term “literature” was applied17 only to a special kind of printed matter; there was Prohibition literature, Sex–Hygiene literature, and, during a scourge18 of cattle disease, there was Hoof-and-Mouth literature. This special application of the word didn’t bother Claude, but his mother, being an old-fashioned school-teacher, complained about it.
Enid did not understand her husband’s indifference19 to a burning question, and could only attribute it to the influence of Ernest Havel. She sometimes asked Claude to go with her to one of her committee meetings. If it was a Sunday, he said he was tired and wanted to read the paper. If it was a week-day, he had something to do at the barn, or meant to clear out the timber claim. He did, indeed, saw off a few dead limbs, and cut down a tree the lightning had blasted. Further than that he wouldn’t have let anybody clear the timber lot; he would have died defending it.
The timber claim was his refuge. In the open, grassy20 spots, shut in by the bushy walls of yellowing ash trees, he felt unmarried and free; free to smoke as much as he liked, and to read and dream. Some of his dreams would have frozen his young wife’s blood with horror — and some would have melted his mother’s heart with pity. To lie in the hot sun and look up at the stainless21 blue of the autumn sky, to hear the dry rustle22 of the leaves as they fell, and the sound of the bold squirrels leaping from branch to branch; to lie thus and let his imagination play with life — that was the best he could do. His thoughts, he told himself, were his own. He was no longer a boy. He went off into the timber claim to meet a young man more experienced and interesting than himself, who had not tied himself up with compromises.
点击收听单词发音
1 petunias | |
n.矮牵牛(花)( petunia的名词复数 ) | |
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2 systematically | |
adv.有系统地 | |
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3 economize | |
v.节约,节省 | |
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4 prohibition | |
n.禁止;禁令,禁律 | |
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5 solicitous | |
adj.热切的,挂念的 | |
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6 inflicted | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7 transgression | |
n.违背;犯规;罪过 | |
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8 repugnance | |
n.嫌恶 | |
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9 tranquillity | |
n. 平静, 安静 | |
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10 lenient | |
adj.宽大的,仁慈的 | |
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11 annoyance | |
n.恼怒,生气,烦恼 | |
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12 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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13 grudging | |
adj.勉强的,吝啬的 | |
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14 drooping | |
adj. 下垂的,无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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15 rigidity | |
adj.钢性,坚硬 | |
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16 vegetarian | |
n.素食者;adj.素食的 | |
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17 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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18 scourge | |
n.灾难,祸害;v.蹂躏 | |
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19 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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20 grassy | |
adj.盖满草的;长满草的 | |
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21 stainless | |
adj.无瑕疵的,不锈的 | |
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22 rustle | |
v.沙沙作响;偷盗(牛、马等);n.沙沙声声 | |
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