Early the next morning Sir William Brandon was closeted for a long time with his niece, previous to his departure to the duties of his office. Anxious and alarmed for the success of one of the darling projects of his ambition, he spared no art in his conversation with Lucy, that his great ingenuity2 of eloquence3 and wonderful insight into human nature could suggest, in order to gain at least a foundation for the raising of his scheme. Among other resources of his worldly tact4, he hinted at Lucy’s love for Clifford; and (though darkly and subtly, as befitting the purity of the one he addressed) this abandoned and wily person did not scruple5 to hint also at the possibility of indulging that love after marriage; though he denounced, as the last of indecorums, the crime of encouraging it before. This hint, however, fell harmless upon the innocent ear of Lucy. She did not in the remotest degree comprehend its meaning; she only, with a glowing cheek and a pouting6 lip, resented the allusion7 to a love which she thought it insolent8 in any one even to suspect.
When Brandon left the apartment, his brow was clouded, and his eye absent and thoughtful: it was evident that there had been little in the conference with his niece to please or content him. Miss Brandon herself was greatly agitated9; for there was in her uncle’s nature that silent and impressive secret of influencing or commanding others which almost so invariably and yet so quietly attains10 the wishes of its owner; and Lucy, who loved and admired him sincerely — not the less, perhaps, for a certain modicum11 of fear — was greatly grieved at perceiving how rooted in him was the desire of that marriage which she felt was a moral impossibility. But if Brandon possessed12 the secret of sway, Lucy was scarcely less singularly endowed with the secret of resistance. It may be remembered, in describing her character, that we spoke13 of her as one who seemed, to the superficial, as of too yielding and soft a temper. But circumstances gave the lie to manner, and proved that she eminently14 possessed a quiet firmness and latent resolution, which gave to her mind a nobleness and trustworthy power that never would have been suspected by those who met her among the ordinary paths of life.
Brandon had not been long gone, when Lucy’s maid came to inform her that a gentleman, who expressed himself very desirous of seeing her, waited below. The blood rushed from Lucy’s cheek at this announcement, simple as it seemed. “What gentleman could be desirous of seeing her? Was it — was it Clifford?” She remained for some moments motionless, and literally16 unable to move; at length she summoned courage, and smiling with self-contempt at a notion which appeared to her after thoughts utterly17 absurd, she descended18 to the drawing-room. The first glance she directed towards the stranger, who stood by the fireplace with folded arms, was sufficient — it was impossible to mistake, though the face was averted19, the unequalled form of her lover. She advanced eagerly with a faint cry, checked herself, and sank upon the sofa.
Clifford turned towards her, and fixed20 his eyes upon her countenance21 with an intense and melancholy22 gaze, but he did not utter a syllable23; and Lucy, after pausing in expectation of his voice, looked up, and caught, in alarm, the strange and peculiar24 aspect of his features. He approached her slowly, and still silent; but his gaze seemed to grow more earliest and mournful as he advanced.
“Yes,” said he at last, in a broken and indistinct voice, “I see you once more, after all my promises to quit you forever — after, my solemn farewell, after all that I have cost you; for, Lucy, you love me, you love me, and I shudder25 while I feel it; after all I myself have borne and resisted, I once more come wilfully26 into your presence! How have I burned and sickened for this moment! How have I said, ‘Let me behold27 her once more, only once more, and Fate may then do her worst!’ Lucy! dear, dear Lucy! forgive me for my weakness. It is now in bitter and stern reality the very last I can be guilty of!”
As he spoke, Clifford sank beside her. He took both her hands in his, and holding them, though without pressure, again looked passionately28 upon her innocent yet eloquent29 face. It seemed as if he were moved beyond all the ordinary feelings of reunion and of love. He did not attempt to kiss the hands he held; and though the touch thrilled through every vein30 and fibre of his frame, his clasp was as light as that in which the first timidity of a boy’s love ventures to stamp itself!
“You are pale, Lucy,” said he, mournfully, “and your cheek is much thinner than it was when I first saw you. When I first saw you! Ah! would for your sake that that had never been! Your spirits were light then, Lucy; your laugh came from the heart, your step spurned31 the earth. Joy broke from your eyes, everything that breathed around you seemed full of happiness and mirth; and now, look upon me, Lucy! lift those soft eyes, and teach them to flash upon me indignation and contempt! Oh, not thus, not thus! I could leave you happy — yes, literally blessed — if I could fancy you less forgiving, less gentle, less angelic!”
“What have I to forgive?” said Lucy, tenderly.
“What! everything for which one human being can pardon another. Have not deceit and injury been my crimes against you? Your peace of mind, your serenity32 of heart, your buoyancy of temper — have I marred33 these or not?”
“Oh, Clifford!” said Lucy, rising from herself and from all selfish thoughts, “why, why will you not trust me? You do not know me, indeed you do not — you are ignorant even of the very nature of a woman, if you think me unworthy of your confidence! Do you believe I could betray it, or do you think that if you had done that for which all the world forsook34 you, I could forsake35?”
Lucy’s voice faltered36 at the last words; but it sank, as a stone sinks into deep waters, to the very core of Clifford’s heart. Transported from all resolution and all forbearance, he wound his arms around her in one long and impassioned caress37; and Lucy, as her breath mingled38 with his, and her cheek drooped39 upon his bosom40, did indeed feel as if the past could contain no secret powerful enough even to weaken the affection with which her heart clung to his. She was the first to extricate41 herself from their embrace. She drew back her face from his, and smiling on him through her tears, with a brightness that the smiles of her earliest youth had never surpassed, she said —
“Listen to me. Tell me your history or not, as you will. But believe me, a woman’s wit is often no despicable counsellor. They who accuse themselves the most bitterly are not often those whom it is most difficult to forgive; and you must pardon me if I doubt the extent of the blame you would so lavishly42 impute43 to yourself. I am now alone in the world” (here the smile withered44 from Lucy’s lips). “My poor father is dead. I can injure no one by my conduct; there is no one on earth to whom I am bound by duty. I am independent, I am rich. You profess45 to love me. I am foolish and vain, and I believe you. Perhaps, also, I have the fond hope which so often makes dupes of women — the hope that if you have erred46, I may reclaim47 you; if you have been unfortunate, I may console you! I know, Mr. Clifford, that I am saying that for which many would despise me, and for which, perhaps, I ought to despise myself; but there are times when we speak only as if some power at our hearts constrained48 us, despite ourselves — and it is thus that I have now spoken to you.”
It was with an air very unwonted to herself that Lucy had concluded her address, for her usual characteristic was rather softness than dignity; but, as if to correct the meaning of her words, which might otherwise appear unmaidenly, there was a chaste49, a proud, yet not the less a tender and sweet propriety50 and dignified51 frankness in her look and manner; so that it would have been utterly impossible for one who heard her not to have done justice to the nobleness of her motives52, or not to have felt both touched and penetrated53, as much by respect as by any warmer or more familiar feeling.
Clifford, who had risen while she was speaking, listened with a countenance that varied54 at every word she uttered — now all hope, now all despondency. As she ceased, the expression hardened into a settled and compulsive resolution.
“It is well!” said he, mutteringly. “I am worthy15 of this — very, very worthy! Generous, noble girl! had I been an emperor, I would have bowed down to you in worship; but to debase, to degrade you — no! no!”
“Is there debasement in love?” murmured Lucy.
Clifford gazed upon her with a sort of enthusiastic and self-gratulatory pride; perhaps he felt to be thus loved and by such a creature was matter of pride, even in the lowest circumstances to which he could ever be exposed. He drew his breath hard, set his teeth, and answered —
“You could love, then, an outcast, without birth, fortune, or character? No! you believe this now, but you could not.
“Could you desert your country, your friends, and your home — all that you are born and fitted for? Could you attend one over whom the sword hangs, through a life subjected every hour to discovery and disgrace? Could you be subjected yourself to the moodiness55 of an evil memory and the gloomy silence of remorse56? Could you be the victim of one who has no merit but his love for you, and who, if that love destroy you, becomes utterly redeemed57? Yes, Lucy, I was wrong — I will do you justice; all this, nay58, more, you could bear, and your generous nature would disdain59 the sacrifice. But am I to be all selfish, and you all devoted60? Are you to yield everything to me, and I to accept everything and yield none? Alas61! I have but one good, one blessing62 to yield, and that is yourself. Lucy, I deserve you; I outdo you in generosity63. All that you would desert for me is nothing — O God! — nothing to the sacrifice I make to you! And now, Lucy, I have seen you, and I must once more bid you farewell; I am on the eve of quitting this country forever. I shall enlist64 in a foreign service. Perhaps” (and Clifford’s dark eyes flashed with fire) “you will yet hear of me, and not blush when you hear! But” (and his voice faltered, for Lucy, hiding her face with both hands, gave way to her tears and agitation) — “but, in one respect, you have conquered. I had believed that you could never be mine — that my past life had forever deprived me of that hope! I now begin, with a rapture65 that can bear me through all ordeals66, to form a more daring vision. A soil maybe effaced67 — an evil name maybe redeemed — the past is not set and sealed, without the power of revoking68 what has been written. If I can win the right of meriting your mercy, I will throw myself on it without reserve; till then, or till death, you will see me no more!”
He dropped on his knee, left his kiss and his tears upon Lucy’s cold hand; the next moment she heard his step on the stairs, the door closed heavily and jarringly upon him, and Lucy felt one bitter pang69, and, for some time at least, she felt no more!
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1
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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3
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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4
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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pouting
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| v.撅（嘴）( pout的现在分词 ) | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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attains
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的第三人称单数 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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modicum
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| n.少量，一小份 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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13
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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14
eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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15
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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17
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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19
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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20
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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syllable
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| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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24
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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26
wilfully
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| adv.任性固执地；蓄意地 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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30
vein
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| n.血管，静脉；叶脉，纹理；情绪；vt.使成脉络 | |
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31
spurned
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| v.一脚踢开，拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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32
serenity
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| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
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33
marred
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| adj. 被损毁, 污损的 | |
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34
forsook
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| forsake的过去式 | |
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35
forsake
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| vt.遗弃，抛弃；舍弃，放弃 | |
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36
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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38
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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41
extricate
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| v.拯救，救出；解脱 | |
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42
lavishly
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| adv.慷慨地，大方地 | |
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43
impute
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| v.归咎于 | |
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44
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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45
profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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46
erred
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| 犯错误，做错事( err的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
reclaim
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| v.要求归还，收回；开垦 | |
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48
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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49
chaste
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| adj.贞洁的；有道德的；善良的；简朴的 | |
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50
propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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51
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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52
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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53
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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54
varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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55
moodiness
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| n.喜怒无常；喜怒无常，闷闷不乐；情绪 | |
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56
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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57
redeemed
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| adj. 可赎回的，可救赎的 动词redeem的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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58
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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59
disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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60
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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61
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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62
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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63
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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64
enlist
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| vt.谋取(支持等)，赢得；征募；vi.入伍 | |
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65
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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66
ordeals
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| n.严峻的考验，苦难的经历( ordeal的名词复数 ) | |
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67
effaced
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| v.擦掉( efface的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；超越；使黯然失色 | |
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68
revoking
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| v.撤销，取消，废除( revoke的现在分词 ) | |
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69
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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