This part of the town was new to her, she had traversed it only once or twice before, and then in a coach.
The resolve that had brought her so far faded before the novelty, the extraordinary novelty of her situation; she looked about her with wondering eyes, hardly able to believe that she, a prisoner all her life to someone or something, had dared so much, that she really stood there, unnoticed, unquestioned, free.
Let whatever would happen hereafter, whether she had to pay or no, whether she failed or succeeded in her desperate attempt to alter her life, the next few hours were hers absolutely, to do what she would with.
She looked up at the clock and saw that it was close on seven. There were very few people about; on the steps of the church a woman sat selling roses in a green rush basket; an empty hackney rolled over the cobbles; above the irregular roofs of the houses the sky showed a faint flushed gold stained with little torn clouds of deep pink.
The Countess, acting3 on no impulse save that of her sudden freedom, turned in the direction where she knew the river must lie.
Following closely built, winding4 streets, noticing with an eager and unaccountable interest little things—a thrush in a wicker cage, a woman knitting in a doorway5, a child playing with a white rabbit, a girl leaning from a window watering a pot of wallflowers—asking a direction once in a small baker’s shop, and again of a chair-mender installed at the corner of a street, the Countess Lavinia found her way to the Thames.
The great river lay in a silver sullenness6 beneath the clear dome7 of the sky; its ceaseless ripples8 were outlined in threads of gold; gold shimmered9 in the sails of the brown boats floating by, and on the roofs of the houses on the Southwark side. The Countess found it beautiful beyond anything she had imagined; an air of gay peace lay over it all, an atmosphere of pure contentment.
Where the bank sloped to the water a couple of plane trees grew, shaking their dusty summer foliage10 against the fading blue; the Countess crossed, stood beneath them and looked along the reaches of the river.
She thought of people who had drowned themselves in these waters, and tried to imagine the sensation of sinking beneath the sunset ripples.
A party of young apprentices11 came by, unmoored a boat, and went off down the river to the sound of laughter and the splash of oars12, but they looked at her, and the manner of it reminded her of her appearance and the likelihood of causing comment; she wore a thin muslin dress and a red silk mantle13, her hair hung in powdered curls under her wide straw hat, and she carried a useless parasol. An unusual figure for this neighbourhood at this hour, and one that could not long go unquestioned.
Becoming conscious of the observation of the few passers-by, she moved along the bank in the direction of the Abbey of Westminster.
The sun sank and the gold died swiftly from land and water; a little wind rose and clouds began to obscure the sky. The Countess shivered in her light clothing, and the exaltation in her freedom died as swiftly as it had come; she was aware only that she was lonely, unprotected, that she had missed her way and must find it, must find Marius.
As her thoughts dwelt on him, the old sore, passions that always accompanied her unnameable feeling for my lord’s brother, sprang to life—hatred14 of her husband, of her father, bitter desire to be avenged15, to pull them all down.
She moved on quickly. For all the chilling wind she shuddered16 with a sense of inward heat, and giddiness now and then clouded her vision. She remembered that she had been ill last night, that she had not slept at all, and a horrible fear of sudden death possessed17 her; she recalled tales of people dying without warning—in the street, at the table.
She hurried on. The clouds had silently and swiftly covered the sky. As she turned into the square by the Parliament House dusk had overspread the city, and a few drops of rain began to fall. Beneath the Abbey towers she paused, bewildered.
Somewhere near here Marius lived—but where? Before her marriage she had seldom travelled further than Bedford Row, and since she had kept completely to Lyndwood House and the resorts of fashion, and never before had she been in the streets alone. This part of the town was utterly strange to her; she felt weary, too, and frightened, a new sensation. What if Marius were abroad, or refused to see her—or scorned her utterly, as these men could?
Then her resolve and daring rose, running like a flame through her veins18. She stopped a solitary19 hackney that passed and told the man to drive to Smith’s Square; alighting there she paid him quietly as if ’twere a customary action, and looked about her. The Square was quite empty and the rain falling heavily in the gusts20 of the wind.
The third house, they had said, from the south side, at the Sign of the Lamb. She found it without difficulty and paused under the little portico21, to stare with shuddering22 eyes at the great clumsy church that occupied the centre of the Square.
The chill dusk, the steady rain, the silent dark houses that yet had an air of watchfulness23 as if behind their blank windows spying eyes observed her, affected24 her with a terror that nearly brought her to scream aloud.
She made no attempt either to ring the bell or to move away. The rain swept in under the portico, wetting her thin dress, the dark gathered about her, and her hand, resting on the iron railing of the steps, became a white blur25 before her eyes.
Then the door opened. She stepped back. It was Marius’ man.
“Is your master at home?” the words came instinctively26, more natural than silence.
“Yes, madam.”
She wondered how much he could see of her, and spoke27 again, forestalling28 his curiosity.
“I am of Captain Lyndwood’s family, you need not come up with me.”
The man glanced round the deserted29 Square for her coach, chair, or servants.
“You are perhaps on your way to my lady’s house for some of your master’s things?” the Countess hazarded.
She could have laughed when he assented30.
“Then go, there is no need to interrupt your errand,” she felt the desperation in her heart must be touching31 her voice. “Please let me pass, it is important that I see Captain Lyndwood at once.”
The servant stood aside and the Countess stepped across the threshold.
“Captain Lyndwood’s chambers33 are on the second floor, madam;” the man still hesitated, holding the door open.
An inspiration came to the Countess to use her name—her husband’s name; all she had learnt of the great dame34 flashed into her manner.
“I am Lady Lyndwood, and my lord is following me.”
The man bowed, and she closed the door impetuously on him.
Now, what to do?
She looked about her. It was a modest hall pleasantly panelled with light wood; she heard someone singing below stairs and wondered about these others in the house.
Shivering in her damp clothes she mounted the narrow stairway with the cautious step that was natural to her; on the second landing a noise beneath attracted her attention; she leaned over the banisters and saw a girl in a flowered gown hanging a lamp in the hall.
When she had gone again and all was still, the Countess turned and opened the door opposite.
It led into an unlit chamber32; the Countess entered and softly shut herself in; the room was empty, quietly furnished. On the floor were a couple of portmantles, over a chair a cloak and a sword; books, papers, and a bunch of white roses lay on the little spinet35 in the corner. Through the two long windows showed the cold blue of the wet summer evening and the dark shadow of a creeper blowing loose from the bricks.
The Countess noticed all these things as she shivered on the threshold; she gave a little suppressed cough and moved forward, then stood still.
An inner door opened and Marius Lyndwood came out, holding a lighted candle.
He saw her instantly.
“Lavinia!” he cried.
This was extraordinary to her, he had never used her name before. She stared at him as he stood, arrested with the glow of the candle full on his horrified36 face.
“You did not think to see me,” she said foolishly, then she sank on to one of the stiff chairs. “I am very cold, and tired; I have walked from Saint Martin’s Church.”
Marius set the candle on the object nearest to his hand, the spinet.
“Is this with my lord’s knowledge?” he asked.
Their eyes met.
“No,” came her strained voice. “I have run away, it was no longer bearable.”
Marius was quite silent; his face, as she watched it, seemed to grow older, sterner, and anguished37; as she saw his lips quiver she realised the utter wrong she offered him and remorse38 shook her. She dropped her head into her hands.
He went to the window and looked out; when she raised her eyes again she could see only his back.
“Are you not going to speak to me?” she asked; she resolved, even against the pang39 of her pity, that she would not spare him—neither him nor his brother, and she shuddered with the force of this resolve.
“You expect I shall plead with you to go back, madam,” he answered without looking round.
Madam! but what had he called her in his surprise? The Countess rose, unfastened her hat and flung it on to the chair.
“I am not going back,” she said. “If you drive me away, turn me by force from your door. I—well, I shall not go back.”
“How did you find me?” he asked, still not turning.
“Last night we spoke together, my lord and I. Well, you do not wish to hear what passed?”
“No,” said Marius. “No.”
“It was enough,” continued the Countess. “I decided40. I went this afternoon to find you. They gave me your address, and I—I saw only one thing to do, so I am here.”
She trembled a little as he still did not move, and drew her mantle closer over her thin dress.
“I have been ill,” she said. “How cold your room is.”
“I am sorry,” he turned now. “I think it hath not been inhabited for some time.” He did not look at her. “Shall I light the lamp?”
“Yes,” answered the Countess, shivering. “And draw the curtains.”
He obeyed her in a quiet, mechanical way; the silver lamp cast a soft, pleasant glow by which she could see the details of the chamber and the splendour of his embroidered41 dress.
“You were going out?” she asked.
“To the ball at Trefusis House.” Still he avoided her eyes.
She laughed weakly.
“I should be there; I wonder if my lord is waiting for me!” Then she wished that she had not said that, for she saw him wince42.
“Who else is in the house?” she asked abruptly43.
“I do not know,” his voice was low and laboured. “A woman downstairs, I believe, and some others.”
“I met your man, he admitted me.” She shook back her hair and flung open the mantle over her soft white dress; she drew her silk gloves off and laid them across her lap.
“Speak to me, Marius.”
He seated himself at the spinet so that his profile was towards her; above the gold and pink glimmer44 of his brocaded coat, his face showed ill and suddenly and strangely worn. She, intensely observing him, thought that never had she seen him look so like her husband, and she hated him for it. She either hated him or loved him—and after all, it came to the same.
“Will you not speak to me, Marius?”
With his eyes on the ground he answered her.
“What do you think we can do?”
“Take me away,” said the Countess, breathing deeply. “Somewhere—there is the place in Genoa, you must know?” She gave a wild little laugh. “I suppose we have no money, but there is only ruin here; my lord has beggared me, my father is a ruined man; I brought some of my jewels with me; take me away, Marius.”
He raised the grey eyes that were so like the Earl’s.
“You cannot know what you say, for if you do, honour hath no meaning.”
Her face flushed with the feverish45 blood his words roused to action.
“Maybe it hath a different meaning to you and me. I think so.” She rose and caught hold of the back of the chair. “Perhaps you despise me, but you have no right.”
She coughed, stifled46 it, and went on.
“You speak from your code, but I at least have this to my credit—I have been very faithful.”
He got to his feet and faced her.
“To what?”
“To you,” she said, and looked at him straightly.
His face blanched47 so it seemed he must faint; he pressed his handkerchief to his lips and leant heavily against the window frame.
“Why did you woo me?” cried the Countess, at the high tide of nameless passion. “What was your honour then to dare to let me think I was all in all to you? Were you absolved48 because I was forced into a loveless marriage? But there is no need to say all this, you know what I mean.”
“You are my brother’s wife,” said Marius hoarsely49. “You are the Countess of Lyndwood.”
“Is that fact paramount50 with you?” she mocked. “Oh, a man’s honour!”
He seemed to catch at the word.
“Honour,” he repeated; “my honour!” Then, “Which way, which way?” he cried.
She thought that he would say, “You do this from hatred to our house, because we turned our backs on you, that day at Lyndwood Holt,” but his next words took her by surprise.
“By what right,” he asked, “do you come to me—by what right do you put me in this position?”
She found at once her answer. She knew her winning card, and instinct told her the moment for playing it, for, lie or no, this was what she had come to say.
“Because I love you,” she said, and knew not if it was the truth.
In the pause that followed she saw that her speech had had all the effect, and more, that she could have hoped, or dreaded51, or desired.
She saw the shock drive the blood into his face, saw him put out his hand as if to stop her—open his lips and stand dumb.
“You must have known,” she said.
He could not speak. He thrust back the pomaded curls from his flushed forehead and stared on the ground; she felt herself swept into the position of conqueror52, felt herself in full measure repaid.
“You wooed and won me,” she breathed. “You made me love you, I—it cannot happen twice, words are so foolish—but you must understand that I gave myself to you, and you cannot dare reject me now, only, I am at your mercy.”
“No,” he answered, lifting his head. “I am at yours—what do you want with me?”
His expression frightened her, but she clung to her advantage.
“Take me away. Do I ask so much? I pleased you once.”
“Lavinia,” again he used her name naturally, “if you ask me this, if you so appeal to me, if you tell me I am bound to you, I will.”
His tongue failed him, he put his hand over his distracted eyes; a burst of genuine feeling, passion maybe, brought her swiftly to his side.
“Say you care for me, Marius. I could have been happy with you, or having never met you been happy; but you do not tell me,” she touched his sleeve, “that you are even sorry.”
He turned his face from her.
“What my life has been!” she whispered, drawing closer. “Marius, you cannot think of those trees in the Luxembourg and not say you are sorry.”
A groan53 broke from him.
“Rose is a villain54!”
“Take me away,” she repeated intensely.
She put her hot palm over his hand that rested on the spinet. Neither spoke nor looked at each other; both gazed at the blue night showing through the uncovered window, and the spray of creeper quivering in the rain.
“I have been wrong,” he said at last; “but I can die to expiate55 it. I can go to my lord——”
She caught his meaning and thrilled to it. She had done something at last; the Earl, laughing now with Miss Trefusis, would know that she was not so insignificant56, and—but a cloud, a sudden darkness seemed to overspread her brain, her surroundings assumed a ghostly unreality, she found herself wondering what had happened, why she was here; who this was standing motionless beside her.
“Marius!” she shrieked57. “I am going mad!”
He turned fiercely and caught her by the arm.
“I will take you away,” he said desperately58. “I will take you away, Lavinia.”
She fell to laughing.
“Why do you touch me? Do you not hate me? Will you meet your brother, because of me—me?”
Then she seemed to collect herself. She clung to his coat, his heavy lace cravat59, and let the weight of her slight figure fall across his arm.
“You are not going to turn me away, Marius?” she asked in a quick breathless voice, and her powdered hair brushed his cheek.
“No,” he answered wildly. “On my honour, no.”
The door opened and Susannah Chressham stepped into the chamber.
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收听单词发音
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1
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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2
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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4
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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5
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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sullenness
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| n. 愠怒, 沉闷, 情绪消沉 | |
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dome
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| n.圆屋顶，拱顶 | |
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8
ripples
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| 逐渐扩散的感觉( ripple的名词复数 ) | |
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9
shimmered
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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10
foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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11
apprentices
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| 学徒，徒弟( apprentice的名词复数 ) | |
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12
oars
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| n.桨，橹( oar的名词复数 )；划手v.划（行）( oar的第三人称单数 ) | |
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13
mantle
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| n.斗篷，覆罩之物，罩子；v.罩住，覆盖，脸红 | |
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14
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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15
avenged
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| v.为…复仇，报…之仇( avenge的过去式和过去分词 )；为…报复 | |
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16
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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17
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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18
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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19
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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20
gusts
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| 一阵强风( gust的名词复数 )； （怒、笑等的）爆发； （感情的）迸发； 发作 | |
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21
portico
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| n.柱廊，门廊 | |
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22
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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23
watchfulness
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| 警惕，留心； 警觉（性） | |
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24
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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25
blur
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| n.模糊不清的事物；vt.使模糊，使看不清楚 | |
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26
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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27
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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28
forestalling
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| v.先发制人，预先阻止( forestall的现在分词 ) | |
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29
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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30
assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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31
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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32
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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34
dame
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| n.女士 | |
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35
spinet
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| n.小型立式钢琴 | |
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36
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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37
anguished
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| adj.极其痛苦的v.使极度痛苦(anguish的过去式) | |
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38
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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39
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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40
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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41
embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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42
wince
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| n.畏缩，退避，（因痛苦，苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动；v.畏缩，退缩，退避 | |
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43
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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44
glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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45
feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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46
stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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47
blanched
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| v.使变白( blanch的过去式 )；使（植物）不见阳光而变白；酸洗（金属）使有光泽；用沸水烫（杏仁等）以便去皮 | |
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48
absolved
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| 宣告…无罪，赦免…的罪行，宽恕…的罪行( absolve的过去式和过去分词 )； 不受责难，免除责任 [义务] ,开脱（罪责） | |
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49
hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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50
paramount
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| a.最重要的，最高权力的 | |
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51
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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52
conqueror
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| n.征服者，胜利者 | |
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53
groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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54
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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55
expiate
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| v.抵补，赎罪 | |
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56
insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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57
shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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59
cravat
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| n.领巾，领结；v.使穿有领结的服装，使结领结 | |
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