— GUY DE MAUPASSANT.
SYBELL’S party broke up on Saturday, with the exception of Rachel and Mr. Tristram, who had been unable to finish by that date a sketch1 he was making of Sybell. When Doll discovered that his wife had asked that gentleman to stay over Sunday he entreated2 Hugh in moving terms to do the same.
“I am not literary,” said Doll, who always thought it necessary to explain that he was not what no one thought he was. “I hate all that sort of thing. Utter rot I call it. For goodness’ sake, Scarlett, sit tight. I must be decent to the beast in my own house, and if you go I shall have to have him alone jawing3 at me till all hours of the night in the smoking-room.”
Hugh was easily persuaded, and so it came about that the morning congregation at Warpington had the advantage of furtively4 watching Hugh and Mr. Tristram as they sat together in the carved Wilderleigh pew, with Sybell and Rachel at one end of it and Doll at the other. No one looked at Rachel. Her hat attracted a momentary5 attention, but her face none.
The Miss Pratts, on the contrary, well caparisoned by their man milliner, well groomed6, well curled, were a marked feature of the sparse7 congregation. The spectator of so many points, all made the most of, unconsciously felt with a sense of oppres- sion that everything that could be done had been done. No stone had been left unturned.
Their brother, Captain Algernon Pratt, sitting behind them, looked critically at them, and owned that they were smart women. But he was not entirely8 satisfied with them as he had been in the old days, before he went into the Guards and began the real work of his life, raising himself in society.
Captain Pratt was a tall, pale young man — assez beau gar?on — faultlessly dressed, with a quiet acquired manner. He was not ill-looking, the long, upper lip concealed9 by a perfectly10 kept moustache, but the haggard eye and the thin line in the cheek, which did not suggest thought and over-work as their cause, made his appearance vaguely11 repellant.
Jesu, lover of my soul,
sang the shrill12 voices of the choir13 boys, echoed by Regie and Mary, standing14 together, holding their joint15 hymn16-book exactly equally between them, their two small thumbs touching17.
Fraülein, on Hester’s other side, was singing with her whole soul, accompanied by a pendulous18 movement of the body:
Cover my defenceless ’ead,
Wiz ze sadow of zy wing.
Mr. Gresley, after baying like a bloodhound through the opening verses, ascended19 the pulpit and engaged in prayer. The congregation amen-ed and settled itself. Mary leaned her blonde head against her mother, Regie against Hester.
The supreme20 moment of the week had come for Mr. Gresley.
He gave out the text:
“Can the blind lead the blind? Shall they not both fall into the ditch?”
All of us who are Churchmen are aware that the sermon is a period admirably suited for quiet reflection.
“A good woman loves but once,” said Mr. Tristram to himself in an attitude of attention, his fine eyes fixed21 decorously on a pillar in front of him. Some of us would be as helpless without a Bowdlerised generality or a platitude22 to sustain our minds as the invalid23 would be without his peptonised beef-tea.
“Rachel is a good woman, a saint. Such a woman does not love in a hurry, but when she does she loves for ever.” What was that poem he and she had so often read together? Tennyson, wasn’t it? about love not altering “when it alteration24 finds,” but bears it out even to the crack of doom25. Fine poet, Tennyson, he knew the human heart. She had certainly adored him four years ago, just in the devoted26 way in which he needed to be loved. And how he had worshipped her! Of course he had behaved badly. He saw that now. But if he had it was not from want of love. She had been unable to see that at the time. Good women were narrow, and they were hard, and they did not understand men. Those were their faults. Had she learnt better by now? Did she realise that she had far better marry a man who had loved her for herself, and who still loved her, rather than some fortune-hunter like that weedy fellow Scarlett. (Mr. Tristram called all slender men weedy.) He would frankly27 own his fault and ask for forgiveness. He glanced for a moment at the gentle familiar face beside him.
“She will forgive me,” he said, reassuring28 himself in spite of an inward qualm of misgiving29. “I am glad I arranged to stay on. I will speak to her this afternoon. She has become much softened30, and we will bury the past, and make a fresh start together.”
“I will walk up to Beaumere this afternoon,” said Doll, stretching a leg outside the open end of the pew. “I wish Gresley would not call the Dissenters34 worms. They are some of my best tenants35, and they won’t like it when they hear of it. And I’ll go round the young pheasants. (Doll did this or something similar every Sunday afternoon of his life, but he always rehearsed it comfortably in thought on Sunday mornings.) And if Withers36 is about I’ll go out in the boat, the big one, the little one leaks, and set a trimmer or two for to-morrow. I’m not sure I’ll set one under the south bank, for there was the devil to pay last time when that beast of an eel37 got among the roots. I’ll ask Withers what he thinks. I wish Gresley would not call the Dissenters blind leaders of the blind. It’s such bad form, and I don’t suppose the text meant that to start with, and what’s the use of ill-feeling in a parish. And I’ll take Scarlett with me. We’ll slip off after luncheon38, and leave that bounder to bound by himself. And poor old Crack shall come too. Uncle George always took him.”
“James is simply surpassing himself,” said Mrs. Gresley to herself, her arm round her little daughter. “Worms! what a splendid comparison. The Churchman the full-grown man after the stature39 of Christ, and the Dissenter32 invertebrate40 (I think dear James means inebriate) like a worm cleaving41 to the earth. But possibly God in His mercy may let them slip in by a back door to heaven! How like him to say that, so generous, so wide-minded, taking the hopeful view of everything. How noble he looks. These are days in which we should stick to our colours. I wonder how he can think of such beautiful things. For my part I think the duty of the true priest is not to grovel42 to the crowd and call wrong right and right wrong for the sake of a fleeting43 popularity. How striking! What a lesson to the Bishop44 if he were only here. He is so lax about Dissent33, as if right and wrong were mere31 matters of opinion. What a gift he has. I know he will eat nothing for luncheon. If only we were somewhere else where the best joints45 were a little cheaper, and his talents more appreciated.” And Mrs. Gresley closed her eyes and prayed earnestly, a tear sliding down her cheek on to Mary’s floss-silk mane, that she might become less unworthy to be the wife of one so far above her, that the children might all grow up like him, and that she might be given patience to bear with Hester even when she vexed46 him.
Captain Pratt’s critical eye travelled over the congregation. It absolutely ignored Mrs. Gresley and Fraülein. It lingered momentarily on Hester. He knew what he called “breeding” when he saw it, and he was aware that Hester possessed47 it, though his sisters would have laughed at the idea. He had seen many well-bred women on social pinnacles48 look like that, whose houses were at present barred against him. The Pratt sisters were fixed into their smartness as some faces are fixed into a grin. It was not spontaneous, fugitive49, evanescent as a smile, gracefully50 worn, or lightly laid aside as in Hester’s case. He had known Hester slightly in London for several years. He had seen her on terms of intimacy52, such as she never showed to his sisters, with inaccessible53 men and women with whom he had achieved a bare acquaintance, but whom, in spite of many carefully concealed advances, he had found it impossible to know better. Captain Pratt had reached that stage in his profession of raising himself when he had become a social barometer54. He was excessively careful whom he knew, what women he danced with, what houses he visited, and any of his acquaintances who cared to ascertain55 their own social status to a hairsbreadth had only to apply to it the touchstone of Captain Pratt’s manner towards them.
Hester, who grasped many facts of that kind, was always amused by the cold consideration with which he treated her on his rare visits to the parental56 Towers; and which his sisters could only construe57 as a sign that “Algy was gone on Hessie.”
“But he will never marry her,” they told each other. “Algy looks higher.”
It was true. If Hester had been Lady Hester, it is possible that the surname of Pratt, if frequently refused by stouter58 women, might eventually have been offered to her. But Captain Pratt was determined59 to marry rank, and nothing short of a Lady Something was of any use to him. An Honourable60 was better than nothing, but it did not count for much with him. It had a way of absenting itself when wanted. No one was announced as an Honourable. It did not even appear on cards. It might be overlooked. Rank, to be of any practical value, must be apparent, obvious. Lady Georgiana Pratt, Lady Evelina Pratt! Any name would do with that prefix61. His eye travelled as far as Sybell and stopped again. She was “the right sort” herself, and she dressed in the right way. Why could not Ada and Selina imitate her? But he had never forgiven her the fact that he had met “a crew of cads” at her house, whom he had been obliged to cut afterwards in the Row. No, Sybell would not have done for him. She surrounded herself with vulgar people.
Captain Pratt was far too well mannered to be guilty of staring, except at pretty maidservants or shop girls, and his eye was moved on by the rigid62 police of etiquette63 which ruled his every movement. It paused momentarily on Rachel. He knew about her, as did every bachelor in London. A colossal64 heiress. She was neither plain nor handsome. She had a good figure, but not good enough to counterbalance her nondescript face. She had not the air of distinction which he was so quick to detect and appraise65. She was a social nonentity66. He did not care to look at her a second time. “I would not marry her with twice her fortune,” he said to himself.
Regie’s hand had stolen into Hester’s. His even breathing, felt rather than heard, as he dropped asleep against her shoulder, surrounded Hester with the atmosphere of peace and comfort which his father had broken earlier in the day. Regie often brought back to her what his father wrested67 from her.
She listened to the sermon as from a warm nest safely raised above the quaggy ground of personal feeling.
“Dear James! How good he is; how much in earnest. But worms don’t go in at back doors. Why are not clergymen taught a few elementary rules of composition before they are ordained68? But perhaps no one will notice it except myself. James is certainly a saint. He has the courage of his opinions. I believe he loves God and the Church with his whole heart, and would go to the stake for them, or send me there if he thought it was for the good of my soul. Why has he no power? Why is he so much disliked in the parish and neighbourhood? I am sure it is not because he has small abilities and makes puns, and says cut-and-dried things. How many excellent clergymen who do the same are beloved? Is it because he deals with every one as he deals with me? What dreadful things he thinks of me. I don’t wonder he is anxious about me, What unworthy motives69 of wilful70 blindness and arrogance71 he is attributing to the Nonconformists! Oh, James! James! will you never see that it is disbelief in the sincerity72 of the religion of others, because it is not in the same narrow form as your own, which makes all your zeal73 and earnestness of none effect! You think the opposition74 you meet with everywhere is the opposition of evil to good, of indifference75 to piety76. When will you learn that it is the good in your hearers which opposes you, the love of God in them which is offended by your representation of Him!”
Hugh’s eyes were fixed on the same pillar as Mr. Tristram’s, but if he had been aware of that fact he would have chosen another pillar. His thin handsome face was beginning to show the marks of mental strain. His eyes had the set impassive look of one who, hedged in on both sides, sees a sharp turn ahead of him on an unknown road.
“Rachel! Rachel! Rachel! Don’t you hear me calling to you? Don’t you hear me telling you that I can’t live without you? The hymn was right. ‘Other refuge have I none, Hangs my helpless soul on Thee,’ only it was written of you, not of that far, far away God who does not care. Only care for me. Only love me. Only give me those cool hands that I may lean my forehead against them. No help can come to me except through you. Stoop down to me and raise me up, for I love you.”
The sun went in suddenly, and a cold shadow fell on the pillar and on Hugh’s heart.
Love and marriage were not for him. That far-away God, that Judge in the black cap, had pronounced sentence against him, had doomed77 that he should die in his sins. When he had sat in his own village church only last Sunday between his mother and sister, he had seen the empty place on his chancel wall where the tablet to his memory would be put up. When he walked through the churchyard, his mother leaning on his arm, his step regulated by her feeble one, he had seen the vacant space by his father’s grave already filled by the mound78 of raw earth which would shortly cover him. His heart had ached for his mother, for the gentle feeble-minded sister who had transferred the interest in life, which keeps body and soul together, from her colourless existence to that of her brother. Hughie was the romance of her grey life: what Hughie said, what Hughie thought, Hughie’s wife — oh, jealous thought only to be met by prayer! But later on, joy of joys — Hughie’s children! He realised it, now and then, vaguely, momentarily, but never as fully51 as last Sunday. He shrank from the remembrance, and his mind wandered anew in the labyrinth79 of broken twisted thought, from which he could find no way out.
There must be some way out. He had stumbled callously80 through one day after another of these weeks in which he had not seen Rachel, towards his next meeting with her, as a half blind man stumbles towards the light. But the presence of Rachel afforded no clue to the labyrinth. What vain hope was this that he had cherished unconsciously that she could help him. There was no help for him. There was no way out. He was in a trap. He must die, and soon, by his own hand. Incredible, preposterous81 fate! He shuddered82, and looked around him involuntarily.
His glance, reverent83, full of timid longing84 fell on Rachel, and his heart cried aloud suddenly, “If she loves me, I shall not be able to leave her.”
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1
sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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jawing
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| n.用水灌注 | |
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furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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5
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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6
groomed
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| v.照料或梳洗（马等）( groom的过去式和过去分词 )；使做好准备；训练；（给动物）擦洗 | |
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7
sparse
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| adj.稀疏的，稀稀落落的，薄的 | |
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8
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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9
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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10
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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11
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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12
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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13
choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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14
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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16
hymn
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌 | |
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17
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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18
pendulous
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| adj.下垂的；摆动的 | |
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19
ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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20
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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platitude
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| n.老生常谈，陈词滥调 | |
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invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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26
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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27
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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28
reassuring
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| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
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misgiving
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕 | |
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30
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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dissenter
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| n.反对者 | |
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dissent
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| n./v.不同意，持异议 | |
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dissenters
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| n.持异议者，持不同意见者( dissenter的名词复数 ) | |
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tenants
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| n.房客( tenant的名词复数 )；佃户；占用者；占有者 | |
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withers
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| 马肩隆 | |
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eel
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| n.鳗鲡 | |
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luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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stature
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| n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材 | |
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invertebrate
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| n.无脊椎动物 | |
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41
cleaving
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| v.劈开，剁开，割开( cleave的现在分词 ) | |
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42
grovel
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| vi.卑躬屈膝，奴颜婢膝 | |
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43
fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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44
bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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45
joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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46
vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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47
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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48
pinnacles
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| 顶峰( pinnacle的名词复数 )； 顶点； 尖顶； 小尖塔 | |
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49
fugitive
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| adj.逃亡的，易逝的；n.逃犯，逃亡者 | |
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50
gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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51
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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52
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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53
inaccessible
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| adj.达不到的，难接近的 | |
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54
barometer
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| n.气压表，睛雨表，反应指标 | |
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55
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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56
parental
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| adj.父母的；父的；母的 | |
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57
construe
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| v.翻译，解释 | |
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58
stouter
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| 粗壮的( stout的比较级 )； 结实的； 坚固的； 坚定的 | |
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59
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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60
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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61
prefix
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| n.前缀；vt.加…作为前缀；置于前面 | |
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62
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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etiquette
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| n.礼仪，礼节；规矩 | |
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64
colossal
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| adj.异常的，庞大的 | |
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65
appraise
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| v.估价，评价，鉴定 | |
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66
nonentity
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| n.无足轻重的人 | |
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67
wrested
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| （用力）拧( wrest的过去式和过去分词 )； 费力取得； （从…）攫取； （ 从… ） 强行取去… | |
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68
ordained
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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69
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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70
wilful
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| adj.任性的，故意的 | |
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71
arrogance
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| n.傲慢，自大 | |
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72
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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piety
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| n.虔诚，虔敬 | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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mound
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| n.土墩，堤，小山；v.筑堤，用土堆防卫 | |
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labyrinth
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| n.迷宫；难解的事物；迷路 | |
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callously
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preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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82
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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reverent
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| adj.恭敬的，虔诚的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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