Emma continued to entertain no doubt of her being in love. Her ideas only varied1 as to the how much. At first, she thought it was a good deal; and afterwards, but little. She had great pleasure in hearing Frank Churchill talked of; and, for his sake, greater pleasure than ever in seeing Mr. and Mrs. Weston; she was very often thinking of him, and quite impatient for a letter, that she might know how he was, how were his spirits, how was his aunt, and what was the chance of his coming to Randalls again this spring. But, on the other hand, she could not admit herself to be unhappy, nor, after the first morning, to be less disposed for employment than usual; she was still busy and cheerful; and, pleasing as he was, she could yet imagine him to have faults; and farther, though thinking of him so much, and, as she sat drawing or working, forming a thousand amusing schemes for the progress and close of their attachment2, fancying interesting dialogues, and inventing elegant letters; the conclusion of every imaginary declaration on his side was that she refused him. Their affection was always to subside3 into friendship. Every thing tender and charming was to mark their parting; but still they were to part. When she became sensible of this, it struck her that she could not be very much in love; for in spite of her previous and fixed4 determination never to quit her father, never to marry, a strong attachment certainly must produce more of a struggle than she could foresee in her own feelings.
`I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice,' said she. - `In not one of all my clever replies, my delicate negatives, is there any allusion5 to making a sacrifice. I do suspect that he is not really necessary to my happiness. So much the better. I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be more.'
Upon the whole, she was equally contented6 with her view of his feelings.
`He is undoubtedly7 very much in love - every thing denotes it - very much in love indeed! - and when he comes again, if his affection continue, I must be on my guard not to encourage it. - It would be most inexcusable to do otherwise, as my own mind is quite made up. Not that I imagine he can think I have been encouraging him hitherto. No, if he had believed me at all to share his feelings, he would not have been so wretched. Could he have thought himself encouraged, his looks and language at parting would have been different. - Still, however, I must be on my guard. This is in the supposition of his attachment continuing what it now is; but I do not know that I expect it will; I do not look upon him to be quite the sort of man - I do not altogether build upon his steadiness or constancy. - His feelings are warm, but I can imagine them rather changeable. - Every consideration of the subject, in short, makes me thankful that my happiness is not more deeply involved. - I shall do very well again after a little while - and then, it will be a good thing over; for they say every body is in love once in their lives, and I shall have been let off easily.'
When his letter to Mrs. Weston arrived, Emma had the perusal8 of it; and she read it with a degree of pleasure and admiration9 which made her at first shake her head over her own sensations, and think she had undervalued their strength. It was a long, well-written letter, giving the particulars of his journey and of his feelings, expressing all the affection, gratitude10, and respect which was natural and honourable11, and describing every thing exterior12 and local that could be supposed attractive, with spirit and precision. No suspicious flourishes now of apology or concern; it was the language of real feeling towards Mrs. Weston; and the transition from Highbury to Enscombe, the contrast between the places in some of the first blessings13 of social life was just enough touched on to shew how keenly it was felt, and how much more might have been said but for the restraints of propriety14. - The charm of her own name was not wanting. Miss Woodhouse appeared more than once, and never without a something of pleasing connexion, either a compliment to her taste, or a remembrance of what she had said; and in the very last time of its meeting her eye, unadorned as it was by any such broad wreath of gallantry, she yet could discern the effect of her influence and acknowledge the greatest compliment perhaps of all conveyed. Compressed into the very lowest vacant corner were these words - `I had not a spare moment on Tuesday, as you know, for Miss Woodhouse's beautiful little friend. Pray make my excuses and adieus to her.' This, Emma could not doubt, was all for herself. Harriet was remembered only from being her friend. His information and prospects15 as to Enscombe were neither worse nor better than had been anticipated; Mrs. Churchill was recovering, and he dared not yet, even in his own imagination, fix a time for coming to Randalls again.
Gratifying, however, and stimulative16 as was the letter in the material part, its sentiments, she yet found, when it was folded up and returned to Mrs. Weston, that it had not added any lasting17 warmth, that she could still do without the writer, and that he must learn to do without her. Her intentions were unchanged. Her resolution of refusal only grew more interesting by the addition of a scheme for his subsequent consolation18 and happiness. His recollection of Harriet, and the words which clothed it, the `beautiful little friend,' suggested to her the idea of Harriet's succeeding her in his affections. Was it impossible? - No. - Harriet undoubtedly was greatly his inferior in understanding; but he had been very much struck with the loveliness of her face and the warm simplicity19 of her manner; and all the probabilities of circumstance and connexion were in her favour. - For Harriet, it would be advantageous20 and delightful21 indeed.
`I must not dwell upon it,' said she. - `I must not think of it. I know the danger of indulging such speculations22. But stranger things have happened; and when we cease to care for each other as we do now, it will be the means of confirming us in that sort of true disinterested23 friendship which I can already look forward to with pleasure.'
It was well to have a comfort in store on Harriet's behalf, though it might be wise to let the fancy touch it seldom; for evil in that quarter was at hand. As Frank Churchill's arrival had succeeded Mr. Elton's engagement in the conversation of Highbury, as the latest interest had entirely24 borne down the first, so now upon Frank Churchill's disappearance25, Mr. Elton's concerns were assuming the most irresistible26 form. - His wedding-day was named. He would soon be among them again; Mr. Elton and his bride. There was hardly time to talk over the first letter from Enscombe before `Mr. Elton and his bride' was in every body's mouth, and Frank Churchill was forgotten. Emma grew sick at the sound. She had had three weeks of happy exemption27 from Mr. Elton; and Harriet's mind, she had been willing to hope, had been lately gaining strength. With Mr. Weston's ball in view at least, there had been a great deal of insensibility to other things; but it was now too evident that she had not attained28 such a state of composure as could stand against the actual approach - new carriage, bell-ringing, and all.
Poor Harriet was in a flutter of spirits which required all the reasonings and soothings and attentions of every kind that Emma could give. Emma felt that she could not do too much for her, that Harriet had a right to all her ingenuity29 and all her patience; but it was heavy work to be for ever convincing without producing any effect, for ever agreed to, without being able to make their opinions the same. Harriet listened submissively, and said `it was very true - it was just as Miss Woodhouse described - it was not worth while to think about them - and she would not think about them any longer' but no change of subject could avail, and the next half-hour saw her as anxious and restless about the Eltons as before. At last Emma attacked her on another ground.
`Your allowing yourself to be so occupied and so unhappy about Mr. Elton's marrying, Harriet, is the strongest reproach you can make me. You could not give me a greater reproof30 for the mistake I fell into. It was all my doing, I know. I have not forgotten it, I assure you. - Deceived myself, I did very miserably31 deceive you - and it will be a painful reflection to me for ever. Do not imagine me in danger of forgetting it.'
Harriet felt this too much to utter more than a few words of eager exclamation32. Emma continued,
`I have not said, exert yourself Harriet for my sake; think less, talk less of Mr. Elton for my sake; because for your own sake rather, I would wish it to be done, for the sake of what is more important than my comfort, a habit of self-command in you, a consideration of what is your duty, an attention to propriety, an endeavour to avoid the suspicions of others, to save your health and credit, and restore your tranquillity33. These are the motives34 which I have been pressing on you. They are very important - and sorry I am that you cannot feel them sufficiently35 to act upon them. My being saved from pain is a very secondary consideration. I want you to save yourself from greater pain. Perhaps I may sometimes have felt that Harriet would not forget what was due - or rather what would be kind by me.'
This appeal to her affections did more than all the rest. The idea of wanting gratitude and consideration for Miss Woodhouse, whom she really loved extremely, made her wretched for a while, and when the violence of grief was comforted away, still remained powerful enough to prompt to what was right and support her in it very tolerably.
`You, who have been the best friend I ever had in my life - Want gratitude to you! - Nobody is equal to you! - I care for nobody as I do for you! - Oh! Miss Woodhouse, how ungrateful I have been!'
Such expressions, assisted as they were by every thing that look and manner could do, made Emma feel that she had never loved Harriet so well, nor valued her affection so highly before.
`There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart,' said she afterwards to herself. `There is nothing to be compared to it. Warmth and tenderness of heart, with an affectionate, open manner, will beat all the clearness of head in the world, for attraction, I am sure it will. It is tenderness of heart which makes my dear father so generally beloved - which gives Isabella all her popularity. - I have it not - but I know how to prize and respect it. - Harriet is my superior in all the charm and all the felicity it gives. Dear Harriet! - I would not change you for the clearest-headed, longest-sighted, best-judging female breathing. Oh! the coldness of a Jane Fairfax! - Harriet is worth a hundred such - And for a wife - a sensible man's wife - it is invaluable36. I mention no names; but happy the man who changes Emma for Harriet!'
爱玛还是毫不怀疑自己坠人了情网，只是拿不准程度有多深。起初她以为爱得很深，后来又觉得只是稍微有一点。她非常喜欢听人家谈论弗兰克·邱吉尔，而且也是为了他的缘故，比以往更加喜欢见到韦斯顿夫妇。她时常想念弗兰克，眼巴巴地盼望他来信，好知道他身体好不好，情绪高不高，舅妈病情如何，今年春天他有没有可能再来兰多尔斯。不过，她又不容许自己闷闷不乐，并在第一个早晨过后，也不容许自己比往常懒得做事。她照样忙碌，照样高兴。弗兰克尽管讨人喜欢，她还是认为他有缺点。她虽然很想念他，坐着画画或做针线的时候，还为他们感情的发展和结局设想过上千种有趣的前景，虚构过许多微妙的对话，杜撰过一封封情意绵绵的信件，但是在她的想象中，弗兰克每次向她求爱时，她都拒绝了他。他们之间虽然有情有意，到头来总是落得一般友情。每次分离时都要恋恋不舍，但最终还是要分离。她一意识到这一点，就觉得自己不可能爱得很深。虽说她以前早已下定决心，永不离开父亲，永不出嫁，但她若是当真萌发了强烈的爱，那她心里定会产生她料想不到的斗争。
“我觉得自己并没有使用牺牲这个字眼，”她心想。“我做了那么多机敏的回答，巧妙的否定，却没有一次暗示过要作出牺牲。我觉得我并非一定要有他才能幸福。没有他反而会更好。我当然不会要自己爱得更深。我已经爱得够深了，可不能再深入下去了。”
总的说来，看一看弗兰克的感情，她同样感到满意。
“毫无疑问，他肯定深深地坠人了情网——种种迹象都表明了这一点——真是深深地坠人了情网！等他再来的时候，如果仍旧情意绵绵，那我可得留神，千万不能怂恿他。我既然已经拿定了主意，不这样做是绝对不可宽恕的。我倒不是料想他会觉得我一直在怂恿他。不，如果他当真认为我也对他有意思，他就不会这么怏怏不乐了。他要是觉得我在怂恿他的话，临别时就会是另一副神情，另一番言谈。然而，我还是得留神。这是假定他还像现在这样对我情深意浓，不过我也说不准他是不是会这样。我看他不是那种人——我根本不指望他会坚定不移，忠贞不渝。他的感情是热烈的，但是可以想象也是多变的。总之，经过左思右想，我觉得自己没把幸福过多地寄托在他身上，是值得庆幸的。我很快就会恢复正常的——到那时，这又会成为一件好事了，因为据说人人一生都要坠人情网一次，我会轻而易举地解脱出来。”
韦斯顿太太收到弗兰克的来信以后，爱玛也看了这封信，而且是带着几分欣喜和赞赏之情看的，因此不由得摇起头来，对自己的感情表示惊异，觉得自己以前低估了那些感情的力量。那是一封长信，写得很出色，详细述说了他一路上的情况、心里的感受，表达了满怀的爱慕和感激，以及自然而真挚的敬重之情，描绘了当地和外地种种有趣的事情，笔调准确而生动。信里没有令人生疑的表示抱歉和关切的华丽词藻，有的只是向韦斯顿太太表达真情实意的语句。他从海伯里回到恩斯库姆，两地在社交生活方面的主要差异，只是略带了几笔，但也足以表明他的感触有多深，若不是由于拘于礼仪，他还可以多写多少内容啊。信里自然少不了她的芳名，不止一次地见到“伍德豪斯小姐”，而且每次都能引起愉快的联想，不是称赞她情趣高雅，就是回忆她说过什么话。她最后一次见到自己的名字时，虽然写得朴实无华，丝毫没有献殷勤的意味，但是却能看出她的举足轻重，意识到这也许是对她最大的恭维。在信笺最下方的空白处，密密麻麻地写了这样两行字：“你知道，我星期二那天抽不出空来去向伍德豪斯小姐的那位美丽的小朋友辞别。请代我表示歉意，并向她告别。”爱玛毫不怀疑，这完全是为了她而写的。他所以惦着哈丽特，仅仅因为她是她爱玛的朋友。他所描绘的恩斯库姆的现状和前景，跟她预料的差不多。邱吉尔太太正在康复，他还不敢说什么时候能再来兰多尔斯，甚至连想都不敢想。
虽说这封信的主要内容，也就是所表达的情感，使她感到得意，受到鼓舞，然而等她把信叠好还给韦斯顿太太时，却发觉它并未激起丝毫持久的热情，没有了这个写信人，她还可以照样生活，而他也该学会没有她而照样生活。她没有改变初衷。她想好了一个主意，以使他以后获得安慰和幸福，因而越发坚定了拒绝他的决心。他还惦着哈丽特，称她为“美丽的小朋友”，这就启发她生出这样一个念头：她拒绝他以后，他可以继而去爱哈丽特。难道不可能吗？不能这么说。毫无疑问，哈丽特在见识上远远比不上他，不过她那妩媚动人的脸蛋、热烈纯真的举止，却使他为之着迷。而且从家庭出身和社会关系来看，她可能具有很优越的条件呢。这件事要是办成了，对于哈丽特来说，真是又有利又可喜。
“我不能多想这件事了，”她心想。“我不能再想下去了。我知道这样胡思乱想是危险的。不过，比这更奇怪的事情还有呢。现在我们已经不再两心相悦了，这倒可以促使我们稳固地建立一种真正无私的友情，我已经在乐滋滋地企盼这种友情了。”
能为哈丽特的幸福操点心是件好事，不过还是少想人非非为好，因为马上就要出现一件不幸的事。起初，海伯里人谈论的话题是埃尔顿的婚事，等弗兰克·邱吉尔来了以后，大家都把兴趣集中在这最新的话题上，完全压倒了先前的兴趣。因此，如今弗兰克·邱吉尔走了以后，埃尔顿先生的婚事又变成大家齐心关注的话题了。他的婚期已经择定。他很快就要回到他们中间来——埃尔顿先生和他的新娘。大家几乎还没来得及细谈恩斯库姆来的第一封信，人人嘴里就唠叨起“埃尔顿先生和他的新娘”了，弗兰克·邱吉尔早给抛到了九霄云外。爱玛听得厌烦了。她不受埃尔顿先生的干扰，过了三个星期的快活日子。哈丽特像她殷切期望的那样，最近也变得坚强起来了。至少有韦斯顿先生的舞会可以盼望，她也不会去想别的事情。不过显而易见，她的心境尚未完全平静下来，还经受不住行将来临的诸如新马车、教堂钟声等情况的刺激。
可怜的哈丽特给搞得心神不安，需要爱玛尽力多加开导、安慰和关心。爱玛觉得她为哈丽特再怎么尽心竭力都不会过分，哈丽特有权利要她使出所有的本事、最大的耐心。但是，总是劝说而不见效果，总是嘴上表示同意而却不能达成一致意见，这可是件沉重的差事呀。哈丽特恭恭敬敬地听着，然后说：“一点不错——就像伍德豪斯小姐所说的——不值得去想他们——我再也不去想了。”然而，就是换个话题也无济于事，接下来的半个小时里，哈丽特还是像先前那样，让埃尔顿夫妇搅得心急如焚，坐立不安。最后，爱玛只得从另一个角度去打动她。
“哈丽特，眼看埃尔顿先生结婚了，你总也想不开，整天愁眉苦脸的，这是你能给我的最有力的指责。对于我犯下的错误，这足你给我的最严厉的指责了。我知道，这件事都怪我不好。你放心好了，我没有忘记我的责任。我自己受了骗，又非常可悲地骗了你——我将为此痛悔一辈子。别以为我会忘记这件事。”
哈丽特听了这话大为感动，只能发出几声感叹。爱玛接着说道：
“我并没有说：为了我振作起来，哈丽特；为了我而少想、少谈埃尔顿先生；因为我要你这样做，恰恰是为了你自己。我心里好不好受关系不大，要紧的是你应养成自制的习惯，考虑到自己的责任，注意行为得体，尽量避免引起别人的猜疑，爱惜自己的身体，维护自己的声誉，恢复内心的平静。我就是为了这些动机，才苦口婆心地劝你。这些都是至关重要的——遗憾的是，你对此没有足够的认识，因而也没有照着去做。不让我难受倒是次要的，我只想让你不要陷入更大的痛苦中。也许我有时候会觉得，哈丽特不会忘记该怎么做——或者说，不会忘记体谅我。”
这番触动情义的话比别的话更起作用。哈丽特确实非常喜爱伍德豪斯小姐，一想到自己无情无义，对她不够体贴，心里好生难受了一阵子。等爱玛给了她安慰，满腹的痛楚过去之后，她心里依然觉得过意不去，敦促她做她应该做的事情，并且支持她这样做。
“你是我有生以来的最好的朋友——我却辜负了你的情义！谁也比不上你呀！我对谁也没有像对你这么敬重啊！哦！伍德豪斯小姐，我多么忘恩负义呀！”
这一席肺腑之言，加上神情仪态的衬托，使爱玛觉得她以前从未这样爱过哈丽特，也从未这样珍惜她的情义。
“没有什么比温柔的心灵更有魅力，”事后她自言自语说。“什么也比不上温柔的心灵。热情、温柔的心灵，加上亲切、坦率的仪态，比天下最机灵的头脑还有吸引力。我对此深信不疑。我亲爱的父亲正是凭着温柔的心灵而受到众人的爱戴——伊莎贝拉正是凭着温柔的心灵而受到大家的喜爱。我没有这样的心灵——但是我懂得如何珍重这样的心灵。哈丽特比我强，具有温柔的心灵所赋予的百般魅力和幸福。亲爱的哈丽特！就是拿天下最机灵、最有远见、最有判断力的女人来换你，我也不肯干。哦！简·费尔法克斯那么冷漠！哈丽特抵得上一百个这样的人。说起给人做妻子——给一个有头脑的人做妻子——那是再可贵不过了。我不想指名道姓，但是不要爱玛而要哈丽特的人一定会非常幸福！”
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varied
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attachment
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subside
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fixed
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allusion
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contented
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undoubtedly
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perusal
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admiration
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gratitude
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honourable
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exterior
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blessings
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propriety
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prospects
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stimulative
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lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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advantageous
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| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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speculations
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| n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 )；思考；投机活动；推断 | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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disappearance
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| n.消失，消散，失踪 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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exemption
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| n.豁免，免税额，免除 | |
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attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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reproof
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| n.斥责，责备 | |
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miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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invaluable
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| adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的 | |
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