The wretchedness of a scheme to Box Hill was in Emma's thoughts all the evening. How it might be considered by the rest of the party, she could not tell. They, in their different homes, and their different ways, might be looking back on it with pleasure; but in her view it was a morning more completely misspent, more totally bare of rational satisfaction at the time, and more to be abhorred1 in recollection, than any she had ever passed. A whole evening of back-gammon with her father, was felicity to it. There, indeed, lay real pleasure, for there she was giving up the sweetest hours of the twenty-four to his comfort; and feeling that, unmerited as might be the degree of his fond affection and confiding3 esteem4, she could not, in her general conduct, be open to any severe reproach. As a daughter, she hoped she was not without a heart. She hoped no one could have said to her, `How could you be so unfeeling to your father? - I must, I will tell you truths while I can.' Miss Bates should never again - no, never! If attention, in future, could do away the past, she might hope to be forgiven. She had been often remiss5, her conscience told her so; remiss, perhaps, more in thought than fact; scornful, ungracious. But it should be so no more. In the warmth of true contrition6, she would call upon her the very next morning, and it should be the beginning, on her side, of a regular, equal, kindly7 intercourse8.
She was just as determined9 when the morrow came, and went early, that nothing might prevent her. It was not unlikely, she thought, that she might see Mr. Knightley in her way; or, perhaps, he might come in while she were paying her visit. She had no objection. She would not be ashamed of the appearance of the penitence10, so justly and truly hers. Her eyes were towards Donwell as she walked, but she saw him not.
`The ladies were all at home.' She had never rejoiced at the sound before, nor ever before entered the passage, nor walked up the stairs, with any wish of giving pleasure, but in conferring obligation, or of deriving11 it, except in subsequent ridicule12.
There was a bustle13 on her approach; a good deal of moving and talking. She heard Miss Bates's voice, something was to be done in a hurry; the maid looked frightened and awkward; hoped she would be pleased to wait a moment, and then ushered14 her in too soon. The aunt and niece seemed both escaping into the adjoining room. Jane she had a distinct glimpse of, looking extremely ill; and, before the door had shut them out, she heard Miss Bates saying, `Well, my dear, I shall say you are laid down upon the bed, and I am sure you are ill enough.'
Poor old Mrs. Bates, civil and humble15 as usual, looked as if she did not quite understand what was going on.
`I am afraid Jane is not very well,' said she, `but I do not know; they tell me she is well. I dare say my daughter will be here presently, Miss Woodhouse. I hope you find a chair. I wish Hetty had not gone. I am very little able - Have you a chair, ma'am? Do you sit where you like? I am sure she will be here presently.'
Emma seriously hoped she would. She had a moment's fear of Miss Bates keeping away from her. But Miss Bates soon came - `Very happy and obliged' - but Emma's conscience told her that there was not the same cheerful volubility as before - less ease of look and manner. A very friendly inquiry16 after Miss Fairfax, she hoped, might lead the way to a return of old feelings. The touch seemed immediate17.
`Ah! Miss Woodhouse, how kind you are! - I suppose you have heard - and are come to give us joy. This does not seem much like joy, indeed, in me - (twinkling away a tear or two) - but it will be very trying for us to part with her, after having had her so long, and she has a dreadful headach just now, writing all the morning: - such long letters, you know, to be written to Colonel Campbell, and Mrs. Dixon. ``My dear,'' said I, ``you will blind yourself'' - for tears were in her eyes perpetually. One cannot wonder, one cannot wonder. It is a great change; and though she is amazingly fortunate - such a situation, I suppose, as no young woman before ever met with on first going out - do not think us ungrateful, Miss Woodhouse, for such surprising good fortune - (again dispersing18 her tears) - but, poor dear soul! if you were to see what a headache she has. When one is in great pain, you know one cannot feel any blessing19 quite as it may deserve. She is as low as possible. To look at her, nobody would think how delighted and happy she is to have secured such a situation. You will excuse her not coming to you - she is not able - she is gone into her own room - I want her to lie down upon the bed. ``My dear,'' said I, ``I shall say you are laid down upon the bed:'' but, however, she is not; she is walking about the room. But, now that she has written her letters, she says she shall soon be well. She will be extremely sorry to miss seeing you, Miss Woodhouse, but your kindness will excuse her. You were kept waiting at the door - I was quite ashamed - but somehow there was a little bustle - for it so happened that we had not heard the knock, and till you were on the stairs, we did not know any body was coming. ``It is only Mrs. Cole,'' said I, ``depend upon it. Nobody else would come so early.'' ``Well,'' said she, ``it must be borne some time or other, and it may as well be now.'' But then Patty came in, and said it was you. ``Oh!'' said I, ``it is Miss Woodhouse: I am sure you will like to see her.'' - ``I can see nobody,'' said she; and up she got, and would go away; and that was what made us keep you waiting - and extremely sorry and ashamed we were. ``If you must go, my dear,'' said I, ``you must, and I will say you are laid down upon the bed.'''
Emma was most sincerely interested. Her heart had been long growing kinder towards Jane; and this picture of her present sufferings acted as a cure of every former ungenerous suspicion, and left her nothing but pity; and the remembrance of the less just and less gentle sensations of the past, obliged her to admit that Jane might very naturally resolve on seeing Mrs. Cole or any other steady friend, when she might not bear to see herself. She spoke20 as she felt, with earnest regret and solicitude21 - sincerely wishing that the circumstances which she collected from Miss Bates to be now actually determined on, might be as much for Miss Fairfax's advantage and comfort as possible. `It must be a severe trial to them all. She had understood it was to be delayed till Colonel Campbell's return.'
`So very kind! ` replied Miss Bates. `But you are always kind.'
There was no bearing such an `always;' and to break through her dreadful gratitude22, Emma made the direct inquiry of -
`Where - may I ask? - is Miss Fairfax going?'
`To a Mrs. Smallridge - charming woman - most superior - to have the charge of her three little girls - delightful23 children. Impossible that any situation could be more replete24 with comfort; if we except, perhaps, Mrs. Suckling's own family, and Mrs. Bragge's; but Mrs. Smallridge is intimate with both, and in the very same neighbourhood: - lives only four miles from Maple25 Grove26. Jane will be only four miles from Maple Grove.'
`Mrs. Elton, I suppose, has been the person to whom Miss Fairfax owes - '
`Yes, our good Mrs. Elton. The most indefatigable27, true friend. She would not take a denial. She would not let Jane say, ``No;'' for when Jane first heard of it, (it was the day before yesterday, the very morning we were at Donwell,) when Jane first heard of it, she was quite decided28 against accepting the offer, and for the reasons you mention; exactly as you say, she had made up her mind to close with nothing till Colonel Campbell's return, and nothing should induce her to enter into any engagement at present - and so she told Mrs. Elton over and over again - and I am sure I had no more idea that she would change her mind! - but that good Mrs. Elton, whose judgment29 never fails her, saw farther than I did. It is not every body that would have stood out in such a kind way as she did, and refuse to take Jane's answer; but she positively30 declared she would not write any such denial yesterday, as Jane wished her; she would wait - and, sure enough, yesterday evening it was all settled that Jane should go. Quite a surprize to me! I had not the least idea! - Jane took Mrs. Elton aside, and told her at once, that upon thinking over the advantages of Mrs. Smallridge's situation, she had come to the resolution of accepting it. - I did not know a word of it till it was all settled.'
`You spent the evening with Mrs. Elton?'
`Yes, all of us; Mrs. Elton would have us come. It was settled so, upon the hill, while we were walking about with Mr. Knightley. ``You must all spend your evening with us,'' said she - ``I positively must have you all come.'''
`Mr. Knightley was there too, was he?'
`No, not Mr. Knightley; he declined it from the first; and though I thought he would come, because Mrs. Elton declared she would not let him off, he did not; - but my mother, and Jane, and I, were all there, and a very agreeable evening we had. Such kind friends, you know, Miss Woodhouse, one must always find agreeable, though every body seemed rather fagged after the morning's party. Even pleasure, you know, is fatiguing31 - and I cannot say that any of them seemed very much to have enjoyed it. However, I shall always think it a very pleasant party, and feel extremely obliged to the kind friends who included me in it.'
`Miss Fairfax, I suppose, though you were not aware of it, had been making up her mind the whole day?'
`I dare say she had.'
`Whenever the time may come, it must be unwelcome to her and all her friends - but I hope her engagement will have every alleviation32 that is possible - I mean, as to the character and manners of the family.'
`Thank you, dear Miss Woodhouse. Yes, indeed, there is every thing in the world that can make her happy in it. Except the Sucklings and Bragges, there is not such another nursery establishment, so liberal and elegant, in all Mrs. Elton's acquaintance. Mrs. Smallridge, a most delightful woman! - A style of living almost equal to Maple Grove - and as to the children, except the little Sucklings and little Bragges, there are not such elegant sweet children anywhere. Jane will be treated with such regard and kindness! - It will be nothing but pleasure, a life of pleasure. - And her salary! - I really cannot venture to name her salary to you, Miss Woodhouse. Even you, used as you are to great sums, would hardly believe that so much could be given to a young person like Jane.'
`Ah! madam,' cried Emma, `if other children are at all like what I remember to have been myself, I should think five times the amount of what I have ever yet heard named as a salary on such occasions, dearly earned.'
`You are so noble in your ideas!'
`And when is Miss Fairfax to leave you?'
`Very soon, very soon, indeed; that's the worst of it. Within a fortnight. Mrs. Smallridge is in a great hurry. My poor mother does not know how to bear it. So then, I try to put it out of her thoughts, and say, Come ma'am, do not let us think about it any more.'
`Her friends must all be sorry to lose her; and will not Colonel and Mrs. Campbell be sorry to find that she has engaged herself before their return?'
`Yes; Jane says she is sure they will; but yet, this is such a situation as she cannot feel herself justified33 in declining. I was so astonished when she first told me what she had been saying to Mrs. Elton, and when Mrs. Elton at the same moment came congratulating me upon it! It was before tea - stay - no, it could not be before tea, because we were just going to cards - and yet it was before tea, because I remember thinking - Oh! no, now I recollect2, now I have it; something happened before tea, but not that. Mr. Elton was called out of the room before tea, old John Abdy's son wanted to speak with him. Poor old John, I have a great regard for him; he was clerk to my poor father twenty-seven years; and now, poor old man, he is bed-ridden, and very poorly with the rheumatic gout in his joints34 - I must go and see him to-day; and so will Jane, I am sure, if she gets out at all. And poor John's son came to talk to Mr. Elton about relief from the parish; he is very well to do himself, you know, being head man at the Crown, ostler, and every thing of that sort, but still he cannot keep his father without some help; and so, when Mr. Elton came back, he told us what John ostler had been telling him, and then it came out about the chaise having been sent to Randalls to take Mr. Frank Churchill to Richmond. That was what happened before tea. It was after tea that Jane spoke to Mrs. Elton.'
Miss Bates would hardly give Emma time to say how perfectly35 new this circumstance was to her; but as without supposing it possible that she could be ignorant of any of the particulars of Mr. Frank Churchill's going, she proceeded to give them all, it was of no consequence.
What Mr. Elton had learned from the ostler on the subject, being the accumulation of the ostler's own knowledge, and the knowledge of the servants at Randalls, was, that a messenger had come over from Richmond soon after the return of the party from Box Hill - which messenger, however, had been no more than was expected; and that Mr. Churchill had sent his nephew a few lines, containing, upon the whole, a tolerable account of Mrs. Churchill, and only wishing him not to delay coming back beyond the next morning early; but that Mr. Frank Churchill having resolved to go home directly, without waiting at all, and his horse seeming to have got a cold, Tom had been sent off immediately for the Crown chaise, and the ostler had stood out and seen it pass by, the boy going a good pace, and driving very steady.
There was nothing in all this either to astonish or interest, and it caught Emma's attention only as it united with the subject which already engaged her mind. The contrast between Mrs. Churchill's importance in the world, and Jane Fairfax's, struck her; one was every thing, the other nothing - and she sat musing36 on the difference of woman's destiny, and quite unconscious on what her eyes were fixed37, till roused by Miss Bates's saying,
`Aye, I see what you are thinking of, the pianoforte. What is to become of that? - Very true. Poor dear Jane was talking of it just now. - ``You must go,'' said she. ``You and I must part. You will have no business here. - Let it stay, however,'' said she; ``give it houseroom till Colonel Campbell comes back. I shall talk about it to him; he will settle for me; he will help me out of all my difficulties.'' - And to this day, I do believe, she knows not whether it was his present or his daughter's.'
Now Emma was obliged to think of the pianoforte; and the remembrance of all her former fanciful and unfair conjectures38 was so little pleasing, that she soon allowed herself to believe her visit had been long enough; and, with a repetition of every thing that she could venture to say of the good wishes which she really felt, took leave.
博克斯山之行那令人懊丧的情景，整晚都萦绕在爱玛的脑际。别人会怎么想，她不得而知。他们也许都在各自的家中，以各自的方式，愉快地回忆着。然而在她看来，她以前从未像这次这样完全虚度了一个上午，当时没有一丁点应有的乐趣，事后回想起来又不胜厌倦。相比之下，整晚跟父亲玩十五子棋倒是件乐事。这其中倒还真有一点乐趣，因为她把一天二十四小时中最美好的时刻用来给父亲解闷；虽说她觉得自己不配受到父亲那样的疼爱和信赖，她的行动总的说来不会受到人们严厉的指责。她希望自己不是个没有孝心的女儿。她希望谁也不会对她说：“你怎么能对你父亲那么无情呢？我必须，我要尽可能对你直言相告。”贝茨小姐决不会再——决不会！如果未来的关心能弥补以往的过失，那她也许可望得到原谅。她扪心自问，知道自己常常怠慢人，这也许主要表现在思想上，而不是行动上。她目中无人，傲慢无礼。但是，以后再也不能这样了。在真诚悔恨的驱使下，她打算明天早上就去看望贝茨小姐。从此以后，她要跟她开始一种经常的、平等的、友好的交往。
第二天早上，她决心未变，早早就出门了，免得让别的事耽误。她心想，说不定在路上能遇见奈特利先生，或者到了贝茨小姐家，他说不定也会去。对此她并不在乎。她作忏悔是正当而真诚的，她不会感到羞愧。她一边走一边朝当维尔方向望去，可是没有见到奈特利先生。
“太太小姐都在家。”以前听到这个声音，她从未感到高兴过；以前进了走廊，走上楼梯，除了履行义务之外，从未希望给这家人带来快乐，而除了以后取笑一番之外，也从未希望从她们那里得到什么快乐。
等她走近了，只见房里一阵忙乱，有人在走动，有人在说话。她听到贝茨小姐的声音，好像有什么事急着要办。女仆显得又惊慌又尴尬，希望她能等一会，随即又过早地把她领了进去。姨妈和外甥女像是在往隔壁房里躲避，她清清楚楚地瞥见了简，她看样子病得很厉害。关门之前，她听见贝茨小姐说：“喂，亲爱的，我就说你躺在床上，我看你确实病得厉害。”
可怜的贝茨老太太，像往常一样又客气又谦恭，似乎不大明白眼下是怎么回事。
“恐怕简身体不大好，”她说，“可我确实不了解。她们告诉我说她挺好的。我女儿可能马上就来，伍德豪斯小姐。希望你找张椅子坐下。赫蒂要是没走就好了。我不大能——找到椅子了吗，小姐？你坐的地方好吗？我敢说她马上就来了。”
爱玛也一心巴望贝茨小姐能来。她心里闪过一个念头，担心贝茨小姐有意回避她。可是，没过多久，贝茨小姐就来了——“非常高兴，非常感谢”——不过爱玛意识到，她不像以前那样兴致勃勃、滔滔不绝——神情举止也不像以前那样自在。她心想，亲切地问候一下费尔法克斯小姐，也许能唤起旧日的情意。这一招似乎立即奏效。
“啊！伍德豪斯小姐，你真好！我想你已经听说了——就来向我们道喜的吧。依我看，这还真不大像是喜事，”她眨了眨眼睛，掉了一两滴眼泪。“她在我们家住了这么久，真舍不得让她走啊。她一早上都在写信，现在头痛得厉害。你要知道，那么长的信，是写给坎贝尔上校和迪克逊太太的。‘亲爱的，’我说，‘你会弄瞎眼睛的’——因为她一直眼泪汪汪的。这也难怪，这也难怪。这变化太大了，不过她的运气好得令人惊奇——我想初次出去工作的年轻小姐是很难找到这样的职位的——伍德豪斯小姐，不要以为我们有了这么令人惊奇的好运气还不知足，”说着又掉下泪来。“可怜的亲亲啊！你要是知道她头痛得多厉害就好了。你要知道，人遭受病痛折磨的时候，就是有了值得高兴的好事，也高兴不起来。她的情绪低落极了。瞧她那副样子，谁也不会想到她找到这样一个职位有多高兴，多开心。她没来见你，请你原谅——她来不了——回自己房里去了——我叫她躺在床上。‘亲爱的，’我说，‘我就说你躺在床上。’可她就是不听，在屋里走来走去。不过她已经把信写好了，说她马上就会好的。她没见到你会感到万分遗憾的，伍德豪斯小姐，不过你心眼好，会原谅她的。刚才让你在门口等了一会——真不好意思——屋里不知怎么有点乱哄哄的——恰恰没听到你敲门——直到你走到楼梯上，我们才知道来了客人。‘只会是科尔太太，’我说，‘肯定没错。别人不会来这么早。“唉，’她说，‘迟早都要受的罪，还不如现在受的好。’恰在这时，帕蒂进来了，说是你来了。‘哦！’我说，‘是伍德豪斯小姐，我想你一定想见她。’‘我谁也不能见，’她说，随即站起来要走。这样一来，就让你在门口等了一会——真是不好意思，非常抱歉。‘你要是非走不可的话，亲爱的，’我说，‘你就走吧，我就说你躺在床上。”’
这些话引起了爱玛的深切关注。她的心对简早就变得仁慈些了。贝茨小姐对简目前所受痛苦的描述，彻底打消了她过去那些褊狭的猜疑，心里感到的只是怜悯。她想起自己过去对简不够公正、不够宽厚，就不得不承认，简理所当然宁愿见科尔太太或其他一贯要好的朋友，而不想见她。
她怀着真挚的懊悔和关注之情，说出了自己的心里话——衷心希望贝茨小姐所说的已经选定的这家人家，能给费尔法克斯小姐带来尽可能多的好处，过上尽可能舒适的日子。“我们大家都会觉得很难受。我想要等到坎贝尔上校回来再去吧。”
“你真好！”贝茨小姐回道。“不过你一向都好。”
爱玛真受不了“一向”这个字眼，为了打断对方那可怕的感谢，她直截了当地问道：
“我是否可以请问——费尔法克斯小姐要去哪儿？”
“去斯莫尔里奇太太家——一个人见人爱的女人——人好极了——去照看她的三个小姑娘——讨人喜欢的孩子。不可能还有比这更舒适的职位了，也许萨克林太太家和布雷格太太家要除外，不过斯莫尔里奇太太跟那两家都很熟，而且住在同一个区里：离枫园才四英里。简以后离枫园只有四英里呀。”
“我想，是埃尔顿太太帮了费尔法克斯小姐的忙——”
“是的，好心的埃尔顿太太。真是个忠实可靠、不屈不挠的朋友。她不准别人拒绝，不让简说个‘不’字。简第一次听到这件事（那是前天，我们在当维尔的那天早上），简第一次听到这件事的时候，说什么也不答应，就是为了你说的那些理由。正像你说的，她打定了主意，坎贝尔上校没回来以前，她什么也不接受，不管你怎么说，她也不会答应现在就去做事——她就这样一遍又一遍地告诉埃尔顿太太——我根本想不到她还会改变主意！可是那位好心的埃尔顿太太一向最有眼光，比我看得远。并非人人都会像她那样坚定不移，拒不接受简的答复。她昨天斩钉截铁地宣称，她决不会按照简的意思写信把这件事回掉，她要等待——果然，到了晚上，简就决定要去了。我真感到吃惊！我丝毫也没想到！简把埃尔顿太太拉到一边，马上告诉她说，考虑了斯莫尔里奇太太家条件那么好，她决定接受这个职位。事情没定之前，我是一无所知。”
“你们晚上在埃尔顿太太家？”
“是的，我们全都在，是埃尔顿太太叫我们去的。我们在山上跟奈特利先生一起散步时，就说定了。‘今晚你们大家一定要到我家来，’她说——‘我一定要你们全都来。”’
“奈特利先生也去了吗？”
“没有，奈特利先生没去。他从一开始就不肯去。埃尔顿太太扬言不会放过他，我以为他会去的，可他还是没有去。我妈妈、简和我都去了，一晚上过得好快活。伍德豪斯小姐，你知道，跟好心的朋友在一起，你总会觉得很愉快的，虽说玩了一上午大家似乎都觉得挺累。你知道，就连玩乐都是累人的——何况我也不敢说有谁玩得很快活。不过，我将永远认为这是一次十分快活的活动，而且非常感谢邀我参加的好心的朋友们。”
“我想，你也许没留意，费尔法克斯小姐一整天都在下决心吧。”
“我敢说是的。”
“不管什么时候去，她和她的朋友们一定都很难过——不过我倒希望，她一工作起来心里可能好受些——我说的是那家人的名分和为人。”
“谢谢，亲爱的伍德豪斯小姐。的确是这样，凡是能使她快活的东西，那个人家样样都有。埃尔顿太太熟识的人中，除了萨克林家和布雷格家以外，再找不到这样一个保育室了，既宽敞又讲究。斯莫尔里奇太太是个好讨人喜欢的女人！生活派头跟枫园的几乎完全一样——说到孩子，除了萨克林家和布雷格家的以外，哪里也找不到这样文雅可爱的小家伙了。简会受到应有的尊敬和厚待！只感到快乐，一种快乐的生活。她的薪金啊！我真不敢把她的薪金告诉你，伍德豪斯小姐。尽管你对大笔大笔的钱早已习以为常，但你恐怕很难相信像简这样的年轻人居然能挣那么多钱。”
“哦！小姐，”爱玛嚷道，“要是别的孩子也像我小时候那样难伺候，就是把我听到的给这种工作的最高薪金加上五倍，我看也不算多。”
“真是高见啊！”
“费尔法克斯小姐什么时候离开你们？”
“快了，真的快了。这是最糟糕的。不出两个星期。斯莫尔里奇太太催得很紧。我那可怜的妈妈简直受不了啦。所以我尽量不让她想这件事，跟她说：‘得了，妈妈，我们别再去想这件事了。”’
“她的朋友们一定舍不得让她走。她在坎贝尔上校夫妇还没回来之前就找到了工作，他们知道了不会感到难过吗？”
“是呀，简说他们一定会感到难过的。可是那么好的人家，她又觉得不该拒绝。她第一次把她对埃尔顿太太说的话告诉我的时候，恰好赶上埃尔顿太太跑来向我道喜，我真是大吃一惊！那是在吃茶点以前——慢着——不，不可能是在吃茶点以前，因为我们正要打牌——不过，还是在吃茶点以前，因为我记得我在想——哦！不，现在我想起来了，现在我记起来了。吃茶点以前是发生了一件事，可不是这件事。吃茶点以前，埃尔顿先生给叫到屋子外面，老约翰·阿布迪的儿子有话要对他说。可怜的老约翰，我很尊重他，他给我可怜的父亲当了二十七年文书。那老头好可怜，如今卧床不起了，患了严重的关节痛风病——我今天得去看看他。简要是出得了门，我敢肯定她也会去的。可怜的约翰的儿子来找埃尔顿先生谈谈教区救济问题。你知道，他在克朗旅店当领班、马夫之类的差事，自己的日子过得还不错，但是没有救济，还养不活他父亲。所以，埃尔顿先生回来的时候，把马夫约翰对他说的话告诉了我们，然后就说起派车去兰多尔斯把弗兰克·邱吉尔先生送到里士满。这是吃茶点以前的事。简是在吃完茶点以后才跟埃尔顿太太说的。”
爱玛想说她一点也不了解这件事，可贝茨小姐简直不给她插话的工夫。她没想到爱玛对弗兰克·邱吉尔离开的详情会一无所知，但还是把一切都讲了出来，尽管这是无关紧要的。
埃尔顿先生从马夫那儿听说的，既有马夫亲眼所见的情况，又有从兰多尔斯的仆人那儿打听来的消息，概括起来是说：游博克斯山的人回来以后，从里士满来了一个送信的人——可以料想得到是哪个人来送信的；邱吉尔先生给他外甥写来一封短信，大致内容是说邱吉尔太太身体还可以，但希望他最迟明天清晨要赶回；但弗兰克-邱吉尔先生决定立即回家，不想再等，而他的马似乎着了凉，便立刻派汤姆去叫克朗旅店的马车，马夫站在外面，看见马车驶过，马夫赶得飞快，但车子驾得很稳。
这里面既没有令人惊异的地方，也没有让人感兴趣的地方，所以还能引起爱玛的关注，只不过因为它牵扯到她脑子里想的那件事。邱吉尔太太和简·费尔法克斯小姐之间地位之悬殊，使她感慨不已：一个主宰一切，一个却微不足道——她坐在那儿默默思索女人命运的差异，全然不知道自己的眼睛望着什么地方，后来还是听见贝茨小姐说话，才回过神来。
“啊，我知道你在想什么了，在想钢琴。那玩意儿该怎么办呢？的确是呀。可怜的简刚才还在说钢琴呢。‘你得走了，’她说。‘你得跟我分手了。你在这儿没什么用了。不过，就放在这儿吧，’她说。‘摆在放东西的房间里，等坎贝尔上校回来了再说。我要跟他谈谈，他会为我安排的。我有什么困难，他都会帮我解决的。’我相信，直到今天，她还不知道这钢琴究竟是他送的，还是他女儿送的。”
这一来，爱玛也不得不想起了钢琴。想起自己以前无端地胡乱猜测，感到心里很不是滋味，过了不久，她觉得自己坐的时间够长了，就硬着头皮把真正想说的祝愿话又说了一遍，随即便告辞了。
收听单词发音 |
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abhorred
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| v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 )；（厌恶地）回避；拒绝；淘汰 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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confiding
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| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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remiss
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| adj.不小心的，马虎 | |
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contrition
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| n.悔罪，痛悔 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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deriving
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| v.得到( derive的现在分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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bustle
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| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
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ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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dispersing
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| adj. 分散的 动词disperse的现在分词形式 | |
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blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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replete
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| adj.饱满的，塞满的；n.贮蜜蚁 | |
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maple
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| n.槭树，枫树，槭木 | |
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grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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indefatigable
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| adj.不知疲倦的，不屈不挠的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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fatiguing
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| a.使人劳累的 | |
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alleviation
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| n. 减轻，缓和，解痛物 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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musing
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| n. 沉思，冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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conjectures
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| 推测，猜想( conjecture的名词复数 ) | |
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