Driving slowly through New Haven1, two of the young girls became alert. Josephine and Lillian darted2 soft frank glances into strolling groups of three or four undergraduates, into larger groups on corners, which swung about as one man to stare at their receding3 heads. Believing that they recognized an acquaintance in a solitary4 loiterer, they waved wildly, whereupon the youth’s mouth fell open, and as they turned the next corner he made a dazed dilatory5 gesture with his hand. They laughed. ‘We’ll send him a post card when we get back to school tonight, to see if it really was him.’
Adele Craw, sitting on one of the little seats, kept on talking to Miss Chambers6, the chaperon. Glancing sideways at her, Lillian winked7 at Josephine without batting an eye, but Josephine had gone into a reverie.
This was New Haven — city of her adolescent dreams, of glittering proms where she would move on air among men as intangible as the tunes10 they danced to. City sacred as Mecca, shining as Paris, hidden as Timbuktu. Twice a year the life-blood of Chicago, her home, flowed into it, and twice a year flowed back, bringing Christmas or bringing summer. Bingo, bingo, bingo, that’s the lingo11; love of mine, I pine for one of your glances; the darling boy on the left there; underneath12 the stars I wait.
Seeing it for the first time, she found herself surprisingly unmoved — the men they passed seemed young and rather bored with the possibilities of the day, glad of anything to stare at; seemed undynamic and purposeless against the background of bare elms, lakes of dirty snow and buildings crowded together under the February sky. A wisp of hope, a well-turned-out derby-crowned man, hurrying with stick and suitcase towards the station, caught her attention, but his reciprocal glance was too startled, too ingenuous13. Josephine wondered at the extent of her own disillusionment.
She was exactly seventeen and she was blasé. Already she had been a sensation and a scandal; she had driven mature men to a state of disequilibrium; she had, it was said, killed her grandfather, but as he was over eighty at the time perhaps he just died. Here and there in the Middle West were discouraged little spots which upon inspection15 turned out to be the youths who had once looked full into her green and wistful eyes. But her love affair of last summer had ruined her faith in the all-sufficiency of men. She had grown bored with the waning16 September days — and it seemed as though it had happened once too often. Christmas with its provocative17 shortness, its travelling glee clubs, had brought no one new. There remained to her only a persistent18, a physical hope; hope in her stomach that there was someone whom she would love more than he loved her.
They stopped at a sporting-goods store and Adele Craw, a pretty girl with clear honourable19 eyes and piano legs, purchased the sporting equipment which was the reason for their trip — they were the spring hockey committee for the school. Adele was in addition the president of the senior class and the school’s ideal girl. She had lately seen a change for the better in Josephine Perry — rather as an honest citizen might guilelessly approve a speculator retired20 on his profits. On the other hand, Adele was simply incomprehensible to Josephine — admirable, without doubt, but a member of another species. Yet with the charming adaptability21 that she had hitherto reserved for men, Josephine was trying hard not to disillusion14 her, trying to be honestly interested in the small, neat, organized politics of the school.
Two men who had stood with their backs to them at another counter turned to leave the store, when they caught sight of Miss Chambers and Adele. Immediately they came forward. The one who spoke22 to Miss Chambers was thin and rigid23 of face. Josephine recognized him as Miss Brereton’s nephew, a student at New Haven, who had spent several week-ends with his aunt at the school. The other man Josephine had never seen before. He was tall and broad, with blond curly hair and an open expression in which strength of purpose and a nice consideration were pleasantly mingled24. It was not the sort of face that generally appealed to Josephine. The eyes were obviously without a secret, without a sidewise gambol25, without a desperate flicker26 to show that they had a life of their own apart from the mouth’s speech. The mouth itself was large and masculine; its smile was an act of kindness and control. It was rather with curiosity as to the sort of man who would be attentive27 to Adele Craw that Josephine continued to look at him, for his voice that obviously couldn’t lie greeted Adele as if this meeting was the pleasant surprise of his day.
In a moment Josephine and Lillian were called over and introduced.
‘This is Mr Waterbury’ — that was Miss Brereton’s nephew — ‘and Mr Dudley Knowleton.’
Glancing at Adele, Josephine saw on her face an expression of tranquil28 pride, even of possession. Mr Knowleton spoke politely, but it was obvious that though he looked at the younger girls he did not quite see them. But since they were friends of Adele’s he made suitable remarks, eliciting29 the fact that they were both coming down to New Haven to their first prom the following week. Who were their hosts? Sophomores31; he knew them slightly. Josephine thought that was unnecessarily superior. Why, they were the charter members of the Loving Brothers’ Association — Ridgeway Saunders and George Davey — and on the glee-club trip the girls they picked out to rush in each city considered themselves a sort of élite, second only to the girls they asked to New Haven.
‘And oh, I’ve got some bad news for you,’ Knowleton said to Adele. ‘You may be leading the prom. Jack33 Coe went to the infirmary with appendicitis34, and against my better judgement I’m the provisional chairman.’ He looked apologetic. ‘Being one of those stone-age dancers, the two-step king, I don’t see how I ever got on the committee at all.’
When the car was on its way back to Miss Brereton’s school, Josephine and Lillian bombarded Adele with questions.
‘He’s an old friend from Cincinnati,’ she explained demurely35. ‘He’s captain of the baseball team and he was last man for Skull37 and Bones.’
‘You’re going to the prom with him?’
‘Yes. You see, I’ve known him all my life.’
Was there a faint implication in this remark that only those who had known Adele all her life knew her at her true worth?
‘Are you engaged?’ Lillian demanded.
Adele laughed. ‘Mercy, I don’t think of such matters! It doesn’t seem to be time for that sort of thing yet, does it?’ (‘Yes,’ interpolated Josephine silently.)’ We’re just good friends. I think there can be a perfectly38 healthy friendship between a man and a girl without a lot of —’
‘Mush,’ supplied Lillian helpfully.
‘Well, yes, but I don’t like that word. I was going to say without a lot of sentimental39 romantic things that ought to come later.’
‘Bravo, Adele!’ said Miss Chambers somewhat perfunctorily.
But Josephine’s curiosity was unappeased.
‘Doesn’t he say he’s in love with you, and all that sort of thing?’
‘Mercy, no! Dud doesn’t believe in such stuff any more than I do. He’s got enough to do at New Haven, serving on the committees and the team.’
‘Oh!’ said Josephine.
She was oddly interested. That two people who were attracted to each other should never even say anything about it but be content to ‘not believe in such stuff’, was something new in her experience. She had known girls who had no beaux, others who seemed to have no emotions, and still others who lied about what they thought and did; but here was a girl who spoke of the attentions of the last man tapped for Skull and Bones as if they were two of the limestone40 gargoyles41 that Miss Chambers had pointed42 out on the just completed Harkness Hall. Yet Adele seemed happy — happier than Josephine, who had always believed that boys and girls were made for nothing but each other, and as soon as possible.
In the light of his popularity and achievements, Knowleton seemed more attractive. Josephine wondered if he would remember her and dance with her at the prom, or if that depended on how well he knew her escort, Ridgeway Saunders. She tried to remember whether she had smiled at him when he was looking at her. If she had really smiled he would remember her and dance with her. She was still trying to be sure of that over her two French irregular verbs and her ten stanzas43 of the Ancient Mariner44 that night; but she was still uncertain when she fell asleep.
II
Three gay young sophomores, the founders45 of the Loving Brothers’ Association, took a house together for Josephine, Lillian and a girl from Farmington and their three mothers. For the girls it was a first prom, and they arrived at New Haven with all the nervousness of the condemned46; but a Sheffield fraternity tea in the afternoon yielded up such a plethora47 of boys from home, and boys who had visited there and friends of those boys, and new boys with unknown possibilities but obvious eagerness, that they were glowing with self-confidence as they poured into the glittering crowd that thronged48 the armoury at ten.
It was impressive; for the first time Josephine was at a function run by men upon men’s standards — an outward projection49 of the New Haven world from which women were excluded and which went on mysteriously behind the scenes. She perceived that their three escorts, who had once seemed the very embodiments of worldliness, were modest fry in this relentless50 microcosm of accomplishment51 and success. A man’s world! Looking around her at the glee-club concert, Josephine had felt a grudging52 admiration53 for the good fellowship, the good feeling. She envied Adele Craw, barely glimpsed in the dressing-room, for the position she automatically occupied by being Dudley Knowleton’s girl tonight. She envied her more stepping off under the draped bunting through a gateway54 of hydrangeas at the head of the grand march, very demure36 and faintly unpowdered in a plain white dress. She was temporarily the centre of all attention, and at the sight something that had long lain dormant55 in Josephine awakened56 — her sense of a problem, a scarcely defined possibility.
‘Josephine,’ Ridgeway Saunders began, ‘you can’t realize how happy I am now that it’s come true. I’ve looked forward to this so long, and dreamed about it —’
She smiled up at him automatically, but her mind was elsewhere, and as the dance progressed the idea continued to obsess57 her. She was rushed from the beginning; to the men from the tea were added a dozen new faces, a dozen confident or timid voices, until, like all the more popular girls, she had her own queue trailing her about the room. Yet all this had happened to her before, and there was something missing. One might have ten men to Adele’s two, but Josephine was abruptly58 aware that here a girl took on the importance of the man who had brought her.
She was discomforted by the unfairness of it. A girl earned her popularity by being beautiful and charming. The more beautiful and charming she was, the more she could afford to disregard public opinion. It seemed absurd that simply because Adele had managed to attach a baseball captain, who mightn’t know anything about girls at all, or be able to judge their attractions, she should be thus elevated in spite of her thick ankles, her rather too pinkish face.
Josephine was dancing with Ed Bement from Chicago. He was her earliest beau, a flame of pigtail days in dancing school when one wore white cotton stockings, lace drawers with a waist attached and ruffled60 dresses with the inevitable61 sash.
‘What’s the matter with me?’ she asked Ed, thinking aloud. ‘For months I’ve felt as if I were a hundred years old, and I’m just seventeen and that party was only seven years ago.’
‘You’ve been in love a lot since then,’ Ed said.
‘I haven’t,’ she protested indignantly. ‘I’ve had a lot of silly stories started about me, without any foundation, usually by girls who were jealous.’
‘Jealous of what?’
‘Don’t get fresh,’ she said tartly62. ‘Dance me near Lillian.’
Dudley Knowleton had just cut in on Lillian. Josephine spoke to her friend; then waiting until their turns would bring them face to face over a space of seconds, she smiled at Knowleton. This time she made sure that smile intersected as well as met glance, that he passed beside the circumference63 of her fragrant64 charm. If this had been named like French perfume of a later day it might have been called ‘Please’. He bowed and smiled back; a minute later he cut in on her.
It was in an eddy65 in a corner of the room and she danced slower so that he adapted himself, and for a moment they went around in a slow circle.
‘You looked so sweet leading the march with Adele,’ she told him. ‘You seemed so serious and kind, as if the others were a lot of children. Adele looked sweet, too.’ And she added on an inspiration, ‘At school I’ve taken her for a model.’
‘You have!’ She saw him conceal66 his sharp surprise as he said, ‘I’ll have to tell her that.’
He was handsomer than she had thought, and behind his cordial good manners there was a sort of authority. Though he was correctly attentive to her, she saw his eyes search the room quickly to see if all went well; he spoke quietly, in passing, to the orchestra leader, who came down deferentially67 to the edge of his dais. Last man for Bones. Josephine knew what that meant — her father had been Bones. Ridgeway Saunders and the rest of the Loving Brothers’ Association would certainly not be Bones. She wondered, if there had been a Bones for girls, whether she would be tapped — or Adele Craw with her ankles, symbol of solidity.
Come on o-ver here.
Want to have you near;
Get a wel-come heart-y.
Come on join the part-y.
‘I wonder how many boys here have taken you for a model,’ she said. ‘If I were a boy you’d be exactly what I’d like to be. Except I’d be terribly bothered having girls falling in love with me all the time.’
‘They don’t,’ he said simply. ‘They never have.’
‘Oh yes — but they hide it because they’re so impressed with you, and they’re afraid of Adele.’
‘Adele wouldn’t object.’ And he added hastily, ‘— if it ever happened. Adele doesn’t believe in being serious about such things.’
‘Are you engaged to her?’
He stiffened68 a little. ‘I don’t believe in being engaged till the right time comes.’
‘Neither do I,’ agreed Josephine readily. ‘I’d rather have one good friend than a hundred people hanging around being mushy all the time.’
‘Is that what that crowd does that keeps following you around tonight?’
‘What crowd?’ she asked innocently.
‘The fifty per cent of the sophomore30 class that’s rushing you.’
‘A lot of parlour snakes,’ she said ungratefully.
Josephine was radiantly happy now as she turned beautifully through the newly enchanted69 hall in the arms of the chairman of the prom committee. Even this extra time with him she owed to the awe59 which he inspired in her entourage; but a man cut in eventually and there was a sharp fall in her elation70. The man was impressed that Dudley Knowleton had danced with her; he was more respectful, and his modulated71 admiration bored her. In a little while, she hoped, Dudley Knowleton would cut back, but as midnight passed, dragging on another hour with it, she wondered if after all it had only been a courtesy to a girl from Adele’s school. Since then Adele had probably painted him a neat little landscape of Josephine’s past. When finally he approached her she grew tense and watchful72, a state which made her exteriorly73 pliant74 and tender and quiet. But instead of dancing he drew her into the edge of a row of boxes.
‘Adele had an accident on the cloakroom steps. She turned her ankle a little and tore her stocking on a nail. She’d like to borrow a pair from you because you’re staying near here and we’re way out at the Lawn Club.’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ll run over with you — I have a car outside.’
‘But you’re busy; you mustn’t bother.’
‘Of course I’ll go with you.’
There was thaw75 in the air; a hint of thin and lucid76 spring hovered77 delicately around the elms and cornices of buildings whose bareness and coldness had so depressed78 her the week before. The night had a quality of asceticism79, as if the essence of masculine struggle were seeping80 everywhere through the little city where men of three centuries had brought their energies and aspirations81 for winnowing82. And Dudley Knowleton sitting beside her, dynamic and capable, was symbolic83 of it all. It seemed that she had never met a man before.
‘Come in, please,’ she said as he went up the steps of the house with her. ‘They’ve made it very comfortable.’
There was an open fire burning in the dark parlour. When she came downstairs with the stockings she went in and stood beside him, very still for a moment, watching it with him. Then she looked up, still silent, looked down, looked at him again.
‘Did you get the stockings?’ he asked, moving a little.
‘Yes,’ she said breathlessly. ‘Kiss me for being so quick.’
He laughed as if she said something witty84 and moved towards the door. She was smiling and her disappointment was deeply hidden as they got into the car.
‘It’s been wonderful meeting you,’ she told him. ‘I can’t tell you how many ideas I’ve gotten from what you said.’
‘But I haven’t any ideas.’
‘You have. All that about not getting engaged till the proper time comes. I haven’t had much opportunity to talk to a man like you. Otherwise my ideas would be different, I guess. I’ve just realized that I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. I used to want to be exciting. Now I want to help people.’
‘Yes,’ he agreed, ‘that’s very nice.’
He seemed about to say more when they arrived at the armoury. In their absence supper had begun; and crossing the great floor by his side, conscious of many eyes regarding them, Josephine wondered if people thought that they had been up to something.
‘We’re late,’ said Knowleton when Adele went off to put on the stockings. ‘The man you’re with has probably given you up long ago. You’d better let me get you something here.’
‘That would be too divine.’
Afterwards, back on the floor again, she moved in a sweet aura of abstraction. The followers85 of several departed belles86 merged87 with hers until now no girl on the floor was cut in on with such frequency. Even Miss Brereton’s nephew, Ernest Waterbury, danced with her in stiff approval. Danced? With a tentative change of pace she simply swung from man to man in a sort of hands-right-and-left around the floor. She felt a sudden need to relax, and as if in answer to her mood a new man was presented, a tall, sleek88 Southerner with a persuasive89 note:
‘You lovely creacha. I been strainin my eyes watchin your cameo face floatin round. You stand out above all these othuz like an Amehken Beauty Rose over a lot of field daisies.’
Dancing with him a second time, Josephine hearkened to his pleadings.
‘All right. Let’s go outside.’
‘It wasn’t outdaws I was considering,’ he explained as they left the floor. ‘I happen to have a mortgage on a nook right hee in the building.’
‘All right.’
Book Chaffee, of Alabama, led the way through the cloak-room, through a passage to an inconspicuous door.
‘This is the private apartment of my friend Sergeant90 Boone, instructa of the battery. He wanted to be particularly sure it’d be used as a nook tonight and not a readin room or anything like that.’
Opening the door he turned on a dim light; she came in and shut it behind her, and they faced each other.
‘Mighty sweet,’ he murmured. His tall face came down, his long arms wrapped around her tenderly, and very slowly so that their eyes met for quite a long time, he drew her up to him. Josephine kept thinking that she had never kissed a Southern boy before.
They started apart at the sudden sound of a key turning in the lock outside. Then there was a muffed snicker followed by retreating footsteps, and Book sprang for the door and wrenched91 at the handle just as Josephine noticed that this was not only Sergeant Boone’s parlour; it was his bedroom as well.
‘Who was it?’ she demanded. ‘Why did they lock us in?’
‘Some funny boy. I’d like to get my hands on him.’
‘Will he come back?’
Book sat down on the bed to think. ‘I couldn’t say. Don’t even know who it was. But if somebody on the committee came along it wouldn’t look too good, would it?’
Seeing her expression change, he came over and put his arm around her. ‘Don’t you worry, honey. We’ll fix it.’
She returned his kiss, briefly92 but without distraction93. Then she broke away and went into the next apartment, which was hung with boots, uniform coats and various military equipment.
‘There’s a window up here,’ she said. It was high in the wall and had not been opened for a long time. Book mounted on a chair and forced it ajar.
‘About ten feet down,’ he reported, after a moment, ‘but there’s a big pile of snow just underneath. You might get a nasty fall and you’ll sure soak your shoes and stockin’s.’
‘We’ve got to get out,’ Josephine said sharply.
‘We’d better wait and give this funny man a chance —’
‘I won’t wait. I want to get out. Look — throw out all the blankets from the bed and I’ll jump on that: or you jump first and spread them over the pile of snow.’
After that it was merely exciting. Carefully Book Chaffee wiped the dust from the window to protect her dress; then they were struck silent by a footstep that approached — and passed the outer door. Book jumped, and she heard him kicking profanely94 as he waded95 out of the soft drift below. He spread the blankets. At the moment when Josephine swung her legs out the window, there was the sound of voices outside the door and the key turned again in the lock. She landed softly, reaching for his hand, and convulsed with laughter they ran and skidded96 down the half block towards the corner, and reaching the entrance to the armoury, they stood panting for a moment, breathing in the fresh night. Book was reluctant to go inside.
‘Why don’t you let me conduct you where you’re stayin? We can sit around and sort of recuperate97.’
She hesitated, drawn98 towards him by the community of their late predicament; but something was calling her inside, as if the fulfilment of her elation awaited her there.
‘No,’ she decided99.
As they went in she collided with a man in a great hurry, and looked up to recognize Dudley Knowleton.
‘So sorry,’ he said. ‘Oh hello —’
‘Won’t you dance me over to my box?’ she begged him impulsively100. ‘I’ve torn my dress.’
As they started off he said abstractedly: ‘The fact is, a little mischief101 has come up and the buck102 has been passed to me. I was going along to see about it.’
Her heart raced wildly and she felt the need of being another sort of person immediately.
‘I can’t tell you how much it’s meant meeting you. It would be wonderful to have one friend I could be serious with without being all mushy and sentimental. Would you mind if I wrote you a letter — I mean, would Adele mind?’
‘Lord, no!’ His smile had become utterly103 unfathomable to her. As they reached the box she thought of one more thing:
‘Is it true that the baseball team is training at Hot Springs during Easter?’
‘Yes. You going there?’
‘Yes. Good night, Mr Knowleton.’
But she was destined104 to see him once more. It was outside the men’s coat room, where she waited among a crowd of other pale survivors105 and their paler mothers, whose wrinkles had doubled and tripled with the passing night. He was explaining something to Adele, and Josephine heard the phrase, ‘The door was locked, and the window open —’
Suddenly it occurred to Josephine that, meeting her coming in damp and breathless, he must have guessed at the truth — and Adele would doubtless confirm his suspicion. Once again the spectre of her old enemy, the plain and jealous girl, arose before her. Shutting her mouth tight together she turned away.
But they had seen her, and Adele called to her in her cheerful ringing voice:
‘Come say good night. You were so sweet about the stockings. Here’s a girl you won’t find doing shoddy, silly things, Dudley.’ Impulsively she leaned and kissed Josephine on the cheek. ‘You’ll see I’m right, Dudley — next year she’ll be the most respected girl in school.’
III
As things go in the interminable days of early March, what happened next happened quickly. The annual senior dance at Miss Brereton’s school came on a night soaked through with spring, and all the junior girls lay awake listening to the sighing tunes from the gymnasium. Between the numbers, when boys up from New Haven and Princeton wandered about the grounds, cloistered106 glances looked down from dark open windows upon the vague figures.
Not Josephine, though she lay awake like the others. Such vicarious diversions had no place in the sober patterns she was spinning now from day to day; yet she might as well have been in the forefront of those who called down to the men and threw notes and entered into conversations, for destiny had suddenly turned against her and was spinning a dark web of its own.
Lit-tle lady, don’t be depressed and blue,
After all, we’re both in the same can-noo —
Dudley Knowleton was over in the gymnasium fifty yards away, but proximity107 to a man did not thrill her as it would have done a year ago — not, at least, in the same way. Life, she saw now, was a serious matter, and in the modest darkness a line of a novel ceaselessly recurred108 to her: ‘He is a man fit to be the father of my children’. What were the seductive graces, the fast lines of a hundred parlour snakes compared to such realities. One couldn’t go on forever kissing comparative strangers behind half-closed doors.
Under her pillow now were two letters, answers to her letters. They spoke in a bold round hand of the beginning of baseball practice; they were glad Josephine felt as she did about things; and the writer certainly looked forward to seeing her at Easter. Of all the letters she had ever received they were the most difficult from which to squeeze a single drop of heart’s blood — one couldn’t even read the ‘Yours’ of the subscription109 as ‘Your’ — but Josephine knew them by heart. They were precious because he had taken the time to write them; they were eloquent110 in the very postage stamp because he used so few.
She was restless in her bed — the music had begun again in the gymnasium:
Oh, my love, I’ve waited so long for you,
Oh, my love, I’m singing this song for you —
Oh-h-h —
From the next room there was light laughter, and then from below a male voice, and a long interchange of comic whispers. Josephine recognized Lillian’s laugh and the voices of two other girls. She could imagine them as they lay across the window in their nightgowns, their heads just showing from the open window. ‘Come right down,’ one boy kept saying. ‘Don’t be formal — come, just as you are.’
There was a sudden silence, then a quick crunching111 of footsteps on gravel112, a suppressed snicker and a scurry113, and the sharp, protesting groan114 of several beds in the next room and the banging of a door down the hall. Trouble for somebody, maybe. A few minutes later Josephine’s door half opened, she caught a glimpse of Miss Kwain against the dim corridor light, and then the door closed.
The next afternoon Josephine and four other girls, all of whom denied having breathed so much as a word into the night, were placed on probation115. There was absolutely nothing to do about it. Miss Kwain had recognized their faces in the window and they were all from two rooms. It was an injustice116, but it was nothing compared to what happened next. One week before Easter vacation the school motored off on a one-day trip to inspect a milk farm — all save the ones on probation. Miss Chambers, who sympathized with Josephine’s misfortune, enlisted117 her services in entertaining Mr Ernest Waterbury, who was spending a week-end with his aunt. This was only vaguely118 better than nothing, for Mr Waterbury was a very dull, very priggish young man. He was so dull and so priggish that the following morning Josephine was expelled from school.
It happened like this: they had strolled in the grounds, they had sat down at a garden table and had tea. Ernest Waterbury had expressed a desire to see something in the chapel119, just a few minutes before his aunt’s car rolled up the drive. The chapel was reached by descending120 winding121 mock-medieval stairs; and, her shoes still wet from the garden, Josephine had slipped on the top step and fallen five feet directly into Mr Waterbury’s unwilling122 arms, where she lay helpless, convulsed with irresistible123 laughter. It was in this position that Miss Brereton and the visiting trustee had found them.
‘But I had nothing to do with it!’ declared the ungallant Mr Waterbury. Flustered124 and outraged125, he was packed back to New Haven, and Miss Brereton, connecting this with last week’s sin, proceeded to lose her head. Josephine, humiliated126 and furious, lost hers, and Mr Perry, who happened to be in New York, arrived at the school the same night. At his passionate127 indignation, Miss Brereton collapsed128 and retracted129, but the damage was done, and Josephine packed her trunk. Unexpectedly, monstrously130, just as it had begun to mean something, her school life was over.
For the moment all her feelings were directed against Miss Brereton, and the only tears she shed at leaving were of anger and resentment131. Riding with her father up to New York, she saw that while at first he had instinctively132 and whole-heartedly taken her part, he felt also a certain annoyance133 with her misfortune.
‘We’ll all survive,’ he said. ‘Unfortunately, even that old idiot Miss Brereton will survive. She ought to be running a reform school.’ He brooded for a moment. ‘Anyhow, your mother arrives tomorrow and you and she go down to Hot Springs as you planned.’
‘Hot Springs!’ Josephine cried, in a choked voice. ‘Oh, no!’
‘Why not?’ he demanded in surprise. ‘It seems the best thing to do. Give it a chance to blow over before you go back to Chicago.’
‘I’d rather go to Chicago,’ said Josephine breathlessly. ‘Daddy, I’d much rather go to Chicago.’
‘That’s absurd. Your mother’s started East and the arrangements are all made. At Hot Springs you can get out and ride and play golf and forget that old she-devil —’
‘Isn’t there another place in the East we could go? There’s people I know going to Hot Springs who’ll know all about this, people that I don’t want to meet — girls from school.’
‘Now, Jo, you keep your chin up — this is one of those times. Sorry I said that about letting it blow over in Chicago; if we hadn’t made other plans we’d go back and face every old shrew and gossip in town right away. When anybody slinks off in a corner they think you’ve been up to something bad. If anybody says anything to you, you tell them the truth — what I said to Miss Brereton. You tell them she said you could come back and I damn well wouldn’t let you go back.’
‘They won’t believe it.’
There would be, at all events, four days of respite134 at Hot Springs before the vacations of the schools. Josephine passed this time taking golf lessons from a professional so newly arrived from Scotland that he surely knew nothing of her misadventure; she even went riding with a young man one afternoon, feeling almost at home with him after his admission that he had flunked135 out of Princeton in February — a confidence, however, which she did not reciprocate136 in kind. But in the evenings, despite the young man’s importunity137, she stayed with her mother, feeling nearer to her than she ever had before.
But one afternoon in the lobby Josephine saw by the desk two dozen good-looking young men waiting by a stack of hat cases and bags, and knew that what she dreaded138 was at hand. She ran upstairs and with an invented headache dined there that night, but after dinner she walked restlessly around their apartment. She was ashamed not only of her situation but of her reaction to it. She had never felt any pity for the unpopular girls who skulked139 in dressing-rooms because they could attract no partners on the floor, or for girls who were outsiders at Lake Forest, and now she was like them — hiding miserably140 out of life. Alarmed lest already the change was written in her face, she paused in front of the mirror, fascinated as ever by what she found there.
‘The darn fools!’ she said aloud. And as she said it her chin went up and the faint cloud about her eyes lifted. The phrases of the myriad141 love letters she had received passed before her eyes; behind her, after all, was the reassurance142 of a hundred lost and pleading faces, of innumerable tender and pleading voices. Her pride flooded back into her till she could see the warm blood rushing up into her cheeks.
There was a knock at the door — it was the Princeton boy.
‘How about slipping downstairs?’ he proposed. ‘There’s a dance. It’s full of E-lies, the whole Yale baseball team. I’ll pick up one of them and introduce you and you’ll have a big time. How about it?’
‘All right, but I don’t want to meet anybody. You’ll just have to dance with me all evening.’
‘You know that suits me.’
She hurried into a new spring evening dress of the frailest143 fairy blue. In the excitement of seeing herself in it, it seemed as if she had shed the old skin of winter and emerged a shining chrysalis with no stain; and going downstairs her feet fell softly just off the beat of the music from below. It was a tune9 from a play she had seen a week ago in New York, a tune with a future — ready for gaieties as yet unthought of, lovers not yet met. Dancing off, she was certain that life had innumerable beginnings. She had hardly gone ten steps when she was cut in upon by Dudley Knowleton.
‘Why, Josephine!’ He had never used her first name before — he stood holding her hand. ‘Why, I’m so glad to see you! I’ve been hoping and hoping you’d be here.’
She soared skyward on a rocket of surprise and delight. He was actually glad to see her — the expression on his face was obviously sincere. Could it be possible that he hadn’t heard?
‘Adele wrote me you might be here. She wasn’t sure.’
— Then he knew and didn’t care; he liked her anyhow.
‘I’m in sackcloth and ashes,’ she said.
‘Well, they’re very becoming to you.’
‘You know what happened —’ she ventured.
‘I do. I wasn’t going to say anything, but it’s generally agreed that Waterbury behaved like a fool — and it’s not going to be much help to him in the elections next month. Look — I want you to dance with some men who are just starving for a touch of beauty.’
Presently she was dancing with, it seemed to her, the entire team at once. Intermittently144 Dudley Knowleton cut back in, as well as the Princeton man, who was somewhat indignant at this unexpected competition. There were many girls from many schools in the room, but with an admirable team spirit the Yale men displayed a sharp prejudice in Josephine’s favour; already she was pointed out from the chairs along the wall.
But interiorly she was waiting for what was coming, for the moment when she would walk with Dudley Knowleton into the warm, Southern night. It came naturally, just at the end of a number, and they strolled along an avenue of early-blooming lilacs and turned a corner and another corner . . .
‘You were glad to see me, weren’t you?’ Josephine said.
‘Of course.’
‘I was afraid at first. I was sorriest about what happened at school because of you. I’d been trying so hard to be different — because of you.’
‘You mustn’t think of that school business any more. Everybody that matters knows you got a bad deal. Forget it and start over.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed tranquilly145. She was happy. The breeze and the scent8 of lilacs — that was she, lovely and intangible; the rustic146 bench where they sat and the trees — that was he, rugged147 and strong beside her, protecting her.
‘I’d thought so much of meeting you here,’ she said after a minute. ‘You’d been so good for me, that I thought maybe in a different way I could be good for you — I mean I know ways of having a good time that you don’t know. For instance, we’ve certainly got to go horseback riding by moonlight some night. That’ll be fun.’
He didn’t answer.
‘I can really be very nice when I like somebody — that’s really not often,’ she interpolated hastily, ‘not seriously. But I mean when I do feel seriously that a boy and I are really friends I don’t believe in having a whole mob of other boys hanging around taking up time. I like to be with him all the time, all day and all evening, don’t you?’
He stirred a little on the bench; he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, looking at his strong hands. Her gently modulated voice sank a note lower.
‘When I like anyone I don’t even like dancing. It’s sweeter to be alone.’
Silence for a moment.
‘Well, you know’ — he hesitated, frowning — ‘as a matter of fact, I’m mixed up in a lot of engagements made some time ago with some people.’ He floundered about unhappily. ‘In fact, I won’t even be at the hotel after tomorrow. I’ll be at the house of some people down the valley — a sort of house party. As a matter of fact, Adele’s getting here tomorrow.’
Absorbed in her own thoughts, she hardly heard him at first, but at the name she caught her breath sharply.
‘We’re both to be at this house party while we’re here, and I imagine it’s more or less arranged what we’re going to do. Of course, in the daytime I’ll be here for baseball practice.’
‘I see.’ Her lips were quivering. ‘You won’t be — you’ll be with Adele.’
‘I think that — more or less — I will. She’ll — want to see you, of course.’
Another silence while he twisted his big fingers and she helplessly imitated the gesture.
‘You were just sorry for me,’ she said. ‘You like Adele — much better.’
‘Adele and I understand each other. She’s been more or less my ideal since we were children together.’
‘And I’m not your kind of girl?’ Josephine’s voice trembled with a sort of fright. ‘I suppose because I’ve kissed a lot of boys and got a reputation for speed and raised the deuce.’
‘It isn’t that.’
‘Yes, it is,’ she declared passionately148. ‘I’m just paying for things.’ She stood up. ‘You’d better take me back inside so I can dance with the kind of boys that like me.’
She walked quickly down the path, tears of misery149 streaming from her eyes. He overtook her by the steps, but she only shook her head and said, ‘Excuse me for being so fresh. I’ll grow up — I got what was coming to me — it’s all right.’
A little later when she looked around the floor for him he had gone — and Josephine realized with a shock that for the first time in her life, she had tried for a man and failed. But, save in the very young, only love begets150 love, and from the moment Josephine had perceived that his interest in her was merely kindness she realized the wound was not in her heart but in her pride. She would forget him quickly, but she would never forget what she had learned from him. There were two kinds of men, those you played with and those you might marry. And as this passed through her mind, her restless eyes wandered casually151 over the group of stags, resting very lightly on Mr Gordon Tinsley, the current catch of Chicago, reputedly the richest young man in the Middle West. He had never paid any attention to young Josephine until tonight. Ten minutes ago he had asked her to go driving with him tomorrow.
But he did not attract her — and she decided to refuse. One mustn’t run through people, and, for the sake of a romantic half-hour, trade a possibility that might develop — quite seriously — later, at the proper time. She did not know that this was the first mature thought that she had ever had in her life, but it was.
The orchestra were packing their instruments and the Princeton man was still at her ear, still imploring152 her to walk out with him into the night. Josephine knew without cogitation153 which sort of man he was — and the moon was bright even on the windows. So with a certain sense of relaxation154 she took his arm and they strolled out to the pleasant bower155 she had so lately quitted, and their faces turned towards each other, like little moons under the great white ones which hovered high over the Blue Ridge32; his arm dropped softly about her yielding shoulder.
‘Well?’ he whispered.
‘Well?’
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1
haven
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| n.安全的地方，避难所，庇护所 | |
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darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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receding
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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4
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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5
dilatory
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| adj.迟缓的，不慌不忙的 | |
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6
chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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7
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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8
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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9
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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10
tunes
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| n.曲调，曲子( tune的名词复数 )v.调音( tune的第三人称单数 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调 | |
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11
lingo
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| n.语言不知所云，外国话，隐语 | |
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12
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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13
ingenuous
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| adj.纯朴的，单纯的；天真的；坦率的 | |
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14
disillusion
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| vt.使不再抱幻想，使理想破灭 | |
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15
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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16
waning
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| adj.（月亮）渐亏的，逐渐减弱或变小的n.月亏v.衰落( wane的现在分词 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡 | |
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17
provocative
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| adj.挑衅的，煽动的，刺激的，挑逗的 | |
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18
persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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19
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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20
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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21
adaptability
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| n.适应性 | |
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22
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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23
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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24
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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25
gambol
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| v.欢呼，雀跃 | |
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26
flicker
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| vi./n.闪烁，摇曳，闪现 | |
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27
attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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28
tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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29
eliciting
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| n. 诱发, 引出 动词elicit的现在分词形式 | |
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30
sophomore
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| n.大学二年级生；adj.第二年的 | |
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31
sophomores
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| n.（中等、专科学校或大学的）二年级学生( sophomore的名词复数 ) | |
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32
ridge
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| n.山脊；鼻梁；分水岭 | |
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33
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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34
appendicitis
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| n.阑尾炎，盲肠炎 | |
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35
demurely
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| adv.装成端庄地，认真地 | |
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36
demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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37
skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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38
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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39
sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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40
limestone
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| n.石灰石 | |
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41
gargoyles
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| n.怪兽状滴水嘴( gargoyle的名词复数 ) | |
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42
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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43
stanzas
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| 节，段( stanza的名词复数 ) | |
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44
mariner
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| n.水手号不载人航天探测器，海员，航海者 | |
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45
founders
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| n.创始人( founder的名词复数 ) | |
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46
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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47
plethora
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| n.过量，过剩 | |
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48
thronged
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| v.成群，挤满( throng的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49
projection
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| n.发射，计划，突出部分 | |
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50
relentless
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| adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的 | |
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51
accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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52
grudging
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| adj.勉强的，吝啬的 | |
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53
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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54
gateway
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| n.大门口，出入口，途径，方法 | |
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55
dormant
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| adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的 | |
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56
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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57
obsess
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| vt.使着迷，使心神不定，（恶魔）困扰 | |
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58
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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59
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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60
ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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61
inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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62
tartly
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| adv.辛辣地，刻薄地 | |
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63
circumference
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| n.圆周，周长，圆周线 | |
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64
fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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65
eddy
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| n.漩涡，涡流 | |
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66
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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67
deferentially
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| adv.表示敬意地，谦恭地 | |
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68
stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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69
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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70
elation
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| n.兴高采烈，洋洋得意 | |
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71
modulated
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| 已调整[制]的，被调的 | |
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72
watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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73
exteriorly
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| adv.从外部，表面上 | |
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74
pliant
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| adj.顺从的；可弯曲的 | |
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75
thaw
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| v.（使）融化，（使）变得友善；n.融化，缓和 | |
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76
lucid
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| adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的 | |
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77
hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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78
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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79
asceticism
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| n.禁欲主义 | |
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80
seeping
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| v.（液体）渗( seep的现在分词 )；渗透；渗出；漏出 | |
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81
aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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82
winnowing
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| v.扬( winnow的现在分词 )；辨别；选择；除去 | |
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83
symbolic
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| adj.象征性的，符号的，象征主义的 | |
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84
witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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85
followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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86
belles
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| n.美女( belle的名词复数 )；最美的美女 | |
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87
merged
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| （使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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88
sleek
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| adj.光滑的，井然有序的；v.使光滑，梳拢 | |
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89
persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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90
sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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91
wrenched
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| v.（猛力地）扭( wrench的过去式和过去分词 )；扭伤；使感到痛苦；使悲痛 | |
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92
briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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93
distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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94
profanely
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| adv.渎神地，凡俗地 | |
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95
waded
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| （从水、泥等）蹚，走过，跋( wade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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96
skidded
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| v.（通常指车辆） 侧滑( skid的过去式和过去分词 )；打滑；滑行；（住在）贫民区 | |
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97
recuperate
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| v.恢复 | |
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98
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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99
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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100
impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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101
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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102
buck
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| n.雄鹿，雄兔；v.马离地跳跃 | |
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103
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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104
destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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105
survivors
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| 幸存者，残存者，生还者( survivor的名词复数 ) | |
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106
cloistered
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| adj.隐居的，躲开尘世纷争的v.隐退，使与世隔绝( cloister的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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107
proximity
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| n.接近，邻近 | |
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108
recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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109
subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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110
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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111
crunching
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| v.嘎吱嘎吱地咬嚼( crunch的现在分词 )；嘎吱作响；（快速大量地）处理信息；数字捣弄 | |
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112
gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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113
scurry
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| vi.急匆匆地走；使急赶；催促；n.快步急跑，疾走；仓皇奔跑声；骤雨，骤雪；短距离赛马 | |
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114
groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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115
probation
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| n.缓刑(期)，(以观后效的)察看；试用(期) | |
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116
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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117
enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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118
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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119
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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120
descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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121
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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122
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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123
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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124
flustered
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| adj.慌张的；激动不安的v.使慌乱，使不安( fluster的过去式和过去分词) | |
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125
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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126
humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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127
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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128
collapsed
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| adj.倒塌的 | |
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129
retracted
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| v.撤回或撤消( retract的过去式和过去分词 )；拒绝执行或遵守；缩回；拉回 | |
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130
monstrously
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131
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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132
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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133
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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134
respite
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| n.休息，中止，暂缓 | |
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135
flunked
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| v.( flunk的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）（考试、某学科的成绩等）不及格；评定（某人）不及格；（因不及格而） 退学 | |
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136
reciprocate
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| v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答 | |
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137
importunity
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| n.硬要，强求 | |
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138
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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139
skulked
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| v.潜伏，偷偷摸摸地走动，鬼鬼祟祟地活动( skulk的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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140
miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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141
myriad
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| adj.无数的；n.无数，极大数量 | |
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142
reassurance
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| n.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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143
frailest
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| 脆弱的( frail的最高级 )； 易损的； 易碎的 | |
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144
intermittently
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| adv.间歇地；断断续续 | |
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145
tranquilly
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| adv. 宁静地 | |
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146
rustic
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| adj.乡村的，有乡村特色的；n.乡下人，乡巴佬 | |
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147
rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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148
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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149
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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150
begets
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| v.为…之生父( beget的第三人称单数 )；产生，引起 | |
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151
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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152
imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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153
cogitation
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| n.仔细思考，计划，设计 | |
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154
relaxation
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| n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐 | |
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155
bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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