It was Sunday — not a day, but rather a gap between two other days. Behind, for all of them, lay sets and sequences, the long waits under the crane that swung the microphone, the hundred miles a day by automobiles1 to and fro across a county, the struggles of rival ingenuities2 in the conference rooms, the ceaseless compromise, the clash and strain of many personalities3 fighting for their lives. And now Sunday, with individual life starting up again, with a glow kindling4 in eyes that had been glazed5 with monotony the afternoon before. Slowly as the hours waned6 they came awake like “Puppenfeen” in a toy shop: an intense colloquy7 in a corner, lovers disappearing to neck in a hall. And the feeling of “Hurry, it’s not too late, but for God’s sake hurry before the blessed forty hours of leisure are over.”
Joel Coles was writing continuity. He was twenty-eight and not yet broken by Hollywood. He had had what were considered nice assignments since his arrival six months before and he submitted his scenes and sequences with enthusiasm. He referred to himself modestly as a hack8 but really did not think of it that way. His mother had been a successful actress; Joel had spent his childhood between London and New York trying to separate the real from the unreal, or at least to keep one guess ahead. He was a handsome man with the pleasant cow-brown eyes that in 1913 had gazed out at Broadway audiences from his mother’s face.
When the invitation came it made him sure that he was getting somewhere. Ordinarily he did not go out on Sundays but stayed sober and took work home with him. Recently they had given him a Eugene O’Neill play destined10 for a very important lady indeed. Everything he had done so far had pleased Miles Calman, and Miles Calman was the only director on the lot who did not work under a supervisor11 and was responsible to the money men alone. Everything was clicking into place in Joel’s career. (“This is Mr. Calman’s secretary. Will you come to tea from four to six Sunday — he lives in Beverly Hills, number —.")
Joel was flattered. It would be a party out of the top-drawer. It was a tribute to himself as a young man of promise. The Marion Davies’ crowd, the high-hats, the big currency numbers, perhaps even Dietrich and Garbo and the Marquise, people who were not seen everywhere, would probably be at Calman’s.
“I won’t take anything to drink,” he assured himself. Calman was audibly tired of rummies, and thought it was a pity the industry could not get along without them.
Joel agreed that writers drank too much — he did himself, but he wouldn’t this afternoon. He wished Miles would be within hearing when the cocktails12 were passed to hear his succinct14, unobtrusive, “No, thank you.”
Miles Calman’s house was built for great emotional moments — there was an air of listening, as if the far silences of its vistas15 hid an audience, but this afternoon it was thronged16, as though people had been bidden rather than asked. Joel noted17 with pride that only two other writers from the studio were in the crowd, an ennobled limey and, somewhat to his surprise, Nat Keogh, who had evoked18 Calman’s impatient comment on drunks.
Stella Calman (Stella Walker, of course) did not move on to her other guests after she spoke19 to Joel. She lingered — she looked at him with the sort of beautiful look that demands some sort of acknowledgment and Joe drew quickly on the dramatic adequacy inherited from his mother:
“Well, you look about sixteen! Where’s your kiddy car?”
She was visibly pleased; she lingered. He felt that he should say something more, something confident and easy — he had first met her when she was struggling for bits in New York. At the moment a tray slid up and Stella put a cocktail13 glass into his hand.
“Everybody’s afraid, aren’t they?” he said, looking at it absently. “Everybody watches for everybody else’s blunders, or tries to make sure they’re with people that’ll do them credit. Of course that’s not true in your house,” he covered himself hastily. “I just meant generally in Hollywood.”
Stella agreed. She presented several people to Joel as if he were very important. Reassuring20 himself that Miles was at the other side of the room, Joel drank the cocktail.
“So you have a baby?” he said. “That’s the time to look out. After a pretty woman has had her first child, she’s very vulnerable, because she wants to be reassured21 about her own charm. She’s got to have some new man’s unqualified devotion to prove to herself she hasn’t lost anything.”
“I never get anybody’s unqualified devotion,” Stella said rather resentfully.
“They’re afraid of your husband.”
“You think that’s it?” She wrinkled her brow over the idea; then the conversation was interrupted at the exact moment Joel would have chosen.
Her attentions had given him confidence. Not for him to join safe groups, to slink to refuge under the wings of such acquaintances as he saw about the room. He walked to the window and looked out toward the Pacific, colorless under its sluggish22 sunset. It was good here — the American Riviera and all that, if there were ever time to enjoy it. The handsome, well-dressed people in the room, the lovely girls, and the — well, the lovely girls. You couldn’t have everything.
He saw Stella’s fresh boyish face, with the tired eyelid23 that always drooped24 a little over one eye, moving about among her guests and he wanted to sit with her and talk a long time as if she were a girl instead of a name; he followed her to see if she paid anyone as much attention as she had paid him. He took another cocktail — not because he needed confidence but because she had given him so much of it. Then he sat down beside the director’s mother.
“Your son’s gotten to be a legend, Mrs. Calman — Oracle25 and a Man of Destiny and all that. Personally, I’m against him but I’m in a minority. What do you think of him? Are you impressed? Are you surprised how far he’s gone?”
“No, I’m not surprised,” she said calmly. “We always expected a lot from Miles.”
“Well now, that’s unusual,” remarked Joel. “I always think all mothers are like Napoleon’s mother. My mother didn’t want me to have anything to do with the entertainment business. She wanted me to go to West Point and be safe.”
“We always had every confidence in Miles.” . . .
He stood by the built-in bar of the dining room with the good-humored, heavy-drinking, highly paid Nat Keogh.
“— I made a hundred grand during the year and lost forty grand gambling26, so now I’ve hired a manager.”
“You mean an agent,” suggested Joel.
“No, I’ve got that too. I mean a manager. I make over everything to my wife and then he and my wife get together and hand me out the money. I pay him five thousand a year to hand me out my money.”
“You mean your agent.”
“No, I mean my manager, and I’m not the only one — a lot of other irresponsible people have him.”
“Well, if you’re irresponsible why are you responsible enough to hire a manager?”
“I’m just irresponsible about gambling. Look here —”
A singer performed; Joel and Nat went forward with the others to listen.
II
The singing reached Joel vaguely27; he felt happy and friendly toward all the people gathered there, people of bravery and industry, superior to a bourgeoisie that outdid them in ignorance and loose living, risen to a position of the highest prominence28 in a nation that for a decade had wanted only to be entertained. He liked them — he loved them. Great waves of good feeling flowed through him.
As the singer finished his number and there was a drift toward the hostess to say good-by, Joel had an idea. He would give them “Building It Up,” his own composition. It was his only parlor29 trick, it had amused several parties and it might please Stella Walker. Possessed30 by the hunch31, his blood throbbing32 with the scarlet33 corpuscles of exhibitionism, he sought her.
“Of course,” she cried. “Please! Do you need anything?”
“Someone has to be the secretary that I’m supposed to be dictating34 to.”
“I’ll be her.”
As the word spread the guests in the hall, already putting on their coats to leave, drifted back and Joel faced the eyes of many strangers. He had a dim foreboding, realizing that the man who had just performed was a famous radio entertainer. Then someone said “Sh!” and he was alone with Stella, the center of a sinister35 Indian-like half-circle. Stella smiled up at him expectantly — he began.
His burlesque36 was based upon the cultural limitations of Mr. Dave Silverstein, an independent producer; Silverstein was presumed to be dictating a letter outlining a treatment of a story he had bought.
“— a story of divorce, the younger generators37 and the Foreign Legion,” he heard his voice saying, with the intonations38 of Mr. Silverstein. “But we got to build it up, see?”
A sharp pang39 of doubt struck through him. The faces surrounding him in the gently molded light were intent and curious, but there was no ghost of a smile anywhere; directly in front the Great Lover of the screen glared at him with an eye as keen as the eye of a potato. Only Stella Walker looked up at him with a radiant, never faltering40 smile.
“If we make him a Menjou type, then we get a sort of Michael Arlen only with a Honolulu atmosphere.”
Still not a ripple41 in front, but in the rear a rustling42, a perceptible shift toward the left, toward the front door.
“— then she says she feels this sex appil for him and he burns out and says ‘Oh go on destroy yourself’ —”
At some point he heard Nat Keogh snicker and here and there were a few encouraging faces, but as he finished he had the sickening realization43 that he had made a fool of himself in view of an important section of the picture world, upon whose favor depended his career.
For a moment he existed in the midst of a confused silence, broken by a general trek44 for the door. He felt the undercurrent of derision that rolled through the gossip; then — all this was in the space of ten seconds — the Great Lover, his eye hard and empty as the eye of a needle, shouted “Boo! Boo!” voicing in an overtone what he felt was the mood of the crowd. It was the resentment45 of the professional toward the amateur, of the community toward the stranger, the thumbs-down of the clan46.
Only Stella Walker was still standing47 near and thanking him as if he had been an unparalleled success, as if it hadn’t occurred to her that anyone hadn’t liked it. As Nat Keogh helped him into his overcoat, a great wave of self-disgust swept over him and he clung desperately48 to his rule of never betraying an inferior emotion until he no longer felt it.
“I was a flop,” he said lightly, to Stella. “Never mind, it’s a good number when appreciated. Thanks for your co?peration.”
The smile did not leave her face — he bowed rather drunkenly and Nat drew him toward the door. . . .
The arrival of his breakfast awakened49 him into a broken and ruined world. Yesterday he was himself, a point of fire against an industry, today he felt that he was pitted under an enormous disadvantage, against those faces, against individual contempt and collective sneer50. Worse than that, to Miles Calman he was become one of those rummies, stripped of dignity, whom Calman regretted he was compelled to use. To Stella Walker, on whom he had forced a martyrdom to preserve the courtesy of her house — her opinion he did not dare to guess. His gastric51 juices ceased to flow and he set his poached eggs back on the telephone table. He wrote:
Dear Miles: You can imagine my profound self-disgust. I confess to a taint52 of exhibitionism, but at six o’clock in the afternoon, in broad daylight! Good God! My apologies to your wife.
Yours ever,
Joel Coles.
Joel emerged from his office on the lot only to slink like a malefactor53 to the tobacco store. So suspicious was his manner that one of the studio police asked to see his admission card. He had decided54 to eat lunch outside when Nat Keogh, confident and cheerful, overtook him.
“What do you mean you’re in permanent retirement55? What if that Three Piece Suit did boo you?
“Why, listen,” he continued, drawing Joel into the studio restaurant. “The night of one of his premiers56 at Grauman’s, Joe Squires57 kicked his tail while he was bowing to the crowd. The ham said Joe’d hear from him later but when Joe called him up at eight o’clock next day and said, ‘I thought I was going to hear from you,’ he hung up the phone.”
The preposterous58 story cheered Joel, and he found a gloomy consolation59 in staring at the group at the next table, the sad, lovely Siamese twins, the mean dwarfs60, the proud giant from the circus picture. But looking beyond at the yellow-stained faces of pretty women, their eyes all melancholy61 and startling with mascara, their ball gowns garish62 in full day, he saw a group who had been at Calman’s and winced63.
“Never again,” he exclaimed aloud, “absolutely my last social appearance in Hollywood!”
The following morning a telegram was waiting for him at his office:
You were one of the most agreeable people at our party. Expect you at my sister June’s buffet64 supper next Sunday.
STELLA WALKER CALMAN.
The blood rushed fast through his veins65 for a feverish66 minute. Incredulously he read the telegram over.
“Well, that’s the sweetest thing I ever heard of in my life!”
III
Crazy Sunday again. Joel slept until eleven, then he read a newspaper to catch up with the past week. He lunched in his room on trout67, avocado salad and a pint68 of California wine. Dressing69 for the tea, he selected a pin-check suit, a blue shirt, a burnt orange tie. There were dark circles of fatigue70 under his eyes. In his second-hand71 car he drove to the Riviera apartments. As he was introducing himself to Stella’s sister, Miles and Stella arrived in riding clothes — they had been quarrelling fiercely most of the afternoon on all the dirt roads back of Beverly Hills.
Miles Calman, tall, nervous, with a desperate humor and the unhappiest eyes Joel ever saw, was an artist from the top of his curiously72 shaped head to his niggerish feet. Upon these last he stood firmly — he had never made a cheap picture though he had sometimes paid heavily for the luxury of making experimental flops73. In spite of his excellent company, one could not be with him long without realizing that he was not a well man.
From the moment of their entrance Joel’s day bound itself up inextricably with theirs. As he joined the group around them Stella turned away from it with an impatient little tongue click — and Miles Calman said to the man who happened to be next to him:
“Go easy on Eva Goebel. There’s hell to pay about her at home.” Miles turned to Joel, “I’m sorry I missed you at the office yesterday. I spent the afternoon at the analyst74’s.”
“You being psychoanalyzed?”
“I have been for months. First I went for claustrophobia, now I’m trying to get my whole life cleared up. They say it’ll take over a year.”
“There’s nothing the matter with your life,” Joel assured him.
“Oh, no? Well, Stella seems to think so. Ask anybody — they can all tell you about it,” he said bitterly.
A girl perched herself on the arm of Miles’ chair; Joel crossed to Stella, who stood disconsolately75 by the fire.
“Thank you for your telegram,” he said. “It was darn sweet. I can’t imagine anybody as good-looking as you are being so good-humored.”
She was a little lovelier than he had ever seen her and perhaps the unstinted admiration76 in his eyes prompted her to unload on him — it did not take long, for she was obviously at the emotional bursting point.
“— and Miles has been carrying on this thing for two years, and I never knew. Why, she was one of my best friends, always in the house. Finally when people began to come to me, Miles had to admit it.”
She sat down vehemently77 on the arm of Joel’s chair. Her riding breeches were the color of the chair and Joel saw that the mass of her hair was made up of some strands78 of red gold and some of pale gold, so that it could not be dyed, and that she had on no make-up. She was that good-looking —
Still quivering with the shock of her discovery, Stella found unbearable79 the spectacle of a new girl hovering80 over Miles; she led Joel into a bedroom, and seated at either end of a big bed they went on talking. People on their way to the washroom glanced in and made wisecracks, but Stella, emptying out her story, paid no attention. After a while Miles stuck his head in the door and said, “There’s no use trying to explain something to Joel in half an hour that I don’t understand myself and the psychoanalyst says will take a whole year to understand.”
She talked on as if Miles were not there. She loved Miles, she said — under considerable difficulties she had always been faithful to him.
“The psychoanalyst told Miles that he had a mother complex. In his first marriage he transferred his mother complex to his wife, you see — and then his sex turned to me. But when we married the thing repeated itself — he transferred his mother complex to me and all his libido81 turned toward this other woman.”
Joel knew that this probably wasn’t gibberish — yet it sounded like gibberish. He knew Eva Goebel; she was a motherly person, older and probably wiser than Stella, who was a golden child.
Miles now suggested impatiently that Joel come back with them since Stella had so much to say, so they drove out to the mansion82 in Beverly Hills. Under the high ceilings the situation seemed more dignified83 and tragic84. It was an eerie85 bright night with the dark very clear outside of all the windows and Stella all rose-gold raging and crying around the room. Joel did not quite believe in picture actresses’ grief. They have other preoccupations — they are beautiful rose-gold figures blown full of life by writers and directors, and after hours they sit around and talk in whispers and giggle86 innuendoes87, and the ends of many adventures flow through them.
Sometimes he pretended to listen and instead thought how well she was got up — sleek88 breeches with a matched set of legs in them, an Italian-colored sweater with a little high neck, and a short brown chamois coat. He couldn’t decide whether she was an imitation of an English lady or an English lady was an imitation of her. She hovered89 somewhere between the realest of realities and the most blatant90 of impersonations.
“Miles is so jealous of me that he questions everything I do,” she cried scornfully. “When I was in New York I wrote him that I’d been to the theater with Eddie Baker91. Miles was so jealous he phoned me ten times in one day.”
“I was wild,” Miles snuffled sharply, a habit he had in times of stress. “The analyst couldn’t get any results for a week.”
Stella shook her head despairingly. “Did you expect me just to sit in the hotel for three weeks?”
“I don’t expect anything. I admit that I’m jealous. I try not to be. I worked on that with Dr. Bridgebane, but it didn’t do any good. I was jealous of Joel this afternoon when you sat on the arm of his chair.”
“You were?” She started up. “You were! Wasn’t there somebody on the arm of your chair? And did you speak to me for two hours?”
“You were telling your troubles to Joel in the bedroom.”
“When I think that that woman”— she seemed to believe that to omit Eva Goebel’s name would be to lessen92 her reality —“used to come here —”
“All right — all right,” said Miles wearily. “I’ve admitted everything and I feel as bad about it as you do.” Turning to Joel he began talking about pictures, while Stella moved restlessly along the far walls, her hands in her breeches pockets.
“They’ve treated Miles terribly,” she said, coming suddenly back into the conversation as if they’d never discussed her personal affairs. “Dear, tell him about old Beltzer trying to change your picture.”
As she stood hovering protectively over Miles, her eyes flashing with indignation in his behalf, Joel realized that he was in love with her. Stifled93 with excitement he got up to say good night.
With Monday the week resumed its workaday rhythm, in sharp contrast to the theoretical discussions, the gossip and scandal of Sunday; there was the endless detail of script revision —“Instead of a lousy dissolve, we can leave her voice on the sound track and cut to a medium shot of the taxi from Bell’s angle or we can simply pull the camera back to include the station, hold it a minute and then pan to the row of taxis”— by Monday afternoon Joel had again forgotten that people whose business was to provide entertainment were ever privileged to be entertained. In the evening he phoned Miles’ house. He asked for Miles but Stella came to the phone.
“Do things seem better?”
“Not particularly. What are you doing next Saturday evening?”
“Nothing.”
“The Perrys are giving a dinner and theater party and Miles won’t be here — he’s flying to South Bend to see the Notre Dame94-California game. I thought you might go with me in his place.”
After a long moment Joel said, “Why — surely. If there’s a conference I can’t make dinner but I can get to the theater.”
“Then I’ll say we can come.”
Joel walked his office. In view of the strained relations of the Calmans, would Miles be pleased, or did she intend that Miles shouldn’t know of it? That would be out of the question — if Miles didn’t mention it Joel would. But it was an hour or more before he could get down to work again.
Wednesday there was a four-hour wrangle95 in a conference room crowded with planets and nebulae of cigarette smoke. Three men and a woman paced the carpet in turn, suggesting or condemning96, speaking sharply or persuasively97, confidently or despairingly. At the end Joel lingered to talk to Miles.
The man was tired — not with the exaltation of fatigue but life-tired, with his lids sagging98 and his beard prominent over the blue shadows near his mouth.
“I hear you’re flying to the Notre Dame game.”
Miles looked beyond him and shook his head.
“I’ve given up the idea.”
“Why?”
“On account of you.” Still he did not look at Joel.
“What the hell, Miles?”
“That’s why I’ve given it up.” He broke into a perfunctory laugh at himself. “I can’t tell what Stella might do just out of spite — she’s invited you to take her to the Perrys’, hasn’t she? I wouldn’t enjoy the game.”
The fine instinct that moved swiftly and confidently on the set, muddled99 so weakly and helplessly through his personal life.
“Look, Miles,” Joel said frowning. “I’ve never made any passes whatsoever100 at Stella. If you’re really seriously cancelling your trip on account of me, I won’t go to the Perrys’ with her. I won’t see her. You can trust me absolutely.”
Miles looked at him, carefully now.
“Maybe.” He shrugged101 his shoulders. “Anyhow there’d just be somebody else. I wouldn’t have any fun.”
“You don’t seem to have much confidence in Stella. She told me she’d always been true to you.”
“Maybe she has.” In the last few minutes several more muscles had sagged102 around Miles’ mouth, “But how can I ask anything of her after what’s happened? How can I expect her —” He broke off and his face grew harder as he said, “I’ll tell you one thing, right or wrong and no matter what I’ve done, if I ever had anything on her I’d divorce her. I can’t have my pride hurt — that would be the last straw.”
His tone annoyed Joel, but he said:
“Hasn’t she calmed down about the Eva Goebel thing?”
“No.” Miles snuffled pessimistically. “I can’t get over it either.”
“I thought it was finished.”
“I’m trying not to see Eva again, but you know it isn’t easy just to drop something like that — it isn’t some girl I kissed last night in a taxi! The psychoanalyst says —”
“I know,” Joel interrupted. “Stella told me.” This was depressing. “Well, as far as I’m concerned if you go to the game I won’t see Stella. And I’m sure Stella has nothing on her conscience about anybody.”
“Maybe not,” Miles repeated listlessly. “Anyhow I’ll stay and take her to the party. Say,” he said suddenly, “I wish you’d come too. I’ve got to have somebody sympathetic to talk to. That’s the trouble — I’ve influenced Stella in everything. Especially I’ve influenced her so that she likes all the men I like — it’s very difficult.”
“It must be,” Joel agreed.
IV
Joel could not get to the dinner. Self-conscious in his silk hat against the unemployment, he waited for the others in front of the Hollywood Theatre and watched the evening parade: obscure replicas103 of bright, particular picture stars, spavined men in polo coats, a stomping104 dervish with the beard and staff of an apostle, a pair of chic105 Filipinos in collegiate clothes, reminder106 that this corner of the Republic opened to the seven seas, a long fantastic carnival107 of young shouts which proved to be a fraternity initiation108. The line split to pass two smart limousines109 that stopped at the curb110.
There she was, in a dress like ice-water, made in a thousand pale-blue pieces, with icicles trickling111 at the throat. He started forward.
“So you like my dress?”
“Where’s Miles?”
“He flew to the game after all. He left yesterday morning — at least I think —” She broke off. “I just got a telegram from South Bend saying that he’s starting back. I forgot — you know all these people?”
The party of eight moved into the theater.
Miles had gone after all and Joel wondered if he should have come. But during the performance, with Stella a profile under the pure grain of light hair, he thought no more about Miles. Once he turned and looked at her and she looked back at him, smiling and meeting his eyes for as long as he wanted. Between the acts they smoked in the lobby and she whispered:
“They’re all going to the opening of Jack112 Johnson’s night club — I don’t want to go, do you?”
“Do we have to?”
“I suppose not.” She hesitated. “I’d like to talk to you. I suppose we could go to our house — if I were only sure —”
Again she hesitated and Joel asked:
“Sure of what?”
“Sure that — oh, I’m haywire I know, but how can I be sure Miles went to the game?”
“You mean you think he’s with Eva Goebel?”
“No, not so much that — but supposing he was here watching everything I do. You know Miles does odd things sometimes. Once he wanted a man with a long beard to drink tea with him and he sent down to the casting agency for one, and drank tea with him all afternoon.”
“That’s different. He sent you a wire from South Bend — that proves he’s at the game.”
After the play they said good night to the others at the curb and were answered by looks of amusement. They slid off along the golden garish thoroughfare through the crowd that had gathered around Stella.
“You see he could arrange the telegrams,” Stella said, “very easily.”
That was true. And with the idea that perhaps her uneasiness was justified113, Joel grew angry: if Miles had trained a camera on them he felt no obligations toward Miles. Aloud he said:
“That’s nonsense.”
There were Christmas trees already in the shop windows and the full moon over the boulevard was only a prop114, as scenic115 as the giant boudoir lamps of the corners. On into the dark foliage116 of Beverly Hills that flamed as eucalyptus117 by day, Joel saw only the flash of a white face under his own, the arc of her shoulder. She pulled away suddenly and looked up at him.
“Your eyes are like your mother’s,” she said. “I used to have a scrap118 book full of pictures of her.”
“Your eyes are like your own and not a bit like any other eyes,” he answered.
Something made Joel look out into the grounds as they went into the house, as if Miles were lurking119 in the shrubbery. A telegram waited on the hall table. She read aloud:
Chicago.
Home tomorrow night. Thinking of you. Love.
Miles.
“You see,” she said, throwing the slip back on the table, “he could easily have faked that.” She asked the butler for drinks and sandwiches and ran upstairs, while Joel walked into the empty reception rooms. Strolling about he wandered to the piano where he had stood in disgrace two Sundays before.
“Then we could put over,” he said aloud, “a story of divorce, the younger generators and the Foreign Legion.”
His thoughts jumped to another telegram.
“You were one of the most agreeable people at our party —”
An idea occurred to him. If Stella’s telegram had been purely120 a gesture of courtesy then it was likely that Miles had inspired it, for it was Miles who had invited him. Probably Miles had said:
“Send him a wire — he’s miserable121 — he thinks he’s queered himself.”
It fitted in with “I’ve influenced Stella in everything. Especially I’ve influenced her so that she likes all the men I like.” A woman would do a thing like that because she felt sympathetic — only a man would do it because he felt responsible.
When Stella came back into the room he took both her hands.
“I have a strange feeling that I’m a sort of pawn122 in a spite game you’re playing against Miles,” he said.
“Help yourself to a drink.”
“And the odd thing is that I’m in love with you anyhow.”
The telephone rang and she freed herself to answer it.
“Another wire from Miles,” she announced. “He dropped it, or it says he dropped it, from the airplane at Kansas City.”
“I suppose he asked to be remembered to me.”
“No, he just said he loved me. I believe he does. He’s so very weak.”
“Come sit beside me,” Joel urged her.
It was early. And it was still a few minutes short of midnight a half-hour later, when Joel walked to the cold hearth123, and said tersely124:
“Meaning that you haven’t any curiosity about me?”
“Not at all. You attract me a lot and you know it. The point is that I suppose I really do love Miles.”
“Obviously.”
“And tonight I feel uneasy about everything.”
He wasn’t angry — he was even faintly relieved that a possible entanglement125 was avoided. Still as he looked at her, the warmth and softness of her body thawing126 her cold blue costume, he knew she was one of the things he would always regret.
“I’ve got to go,” he said. “I’ll phone a taxi.”
“Nonsense — there’s a chauffeur127 on duty.”
He winced at her readiness to have him go, and seeing this she kissed him lightly and said, “You’re sweet, Joel.” Then suddenly three things happened: he took down his drink at a gulp128, the phone rang loud through the house and a clock in the hall struck in trumpet129 notes.
Nine — ten — eleven — twelve —
V
It was Sunday again. Joel realized that he had come to the theater this evening with the work of the week still hanging about him like cerements. He had made love to Stella as he might attack some matter to be cleaned up hurriedly before the day’s end. But this was Sunday — the lovely, lazy perspective of the next twenty-four hours unrolled before him — every minute was something to be approached with lulling130 indirection, every moment held the germ of innumerable possibilities. Nothing was impossible — everything was just beginning. He poured himself another drink.
With a sharp moan, Stella slipped forward inertly131 by the telephone. Joel picked her up and laid her on the sofa. He squirted soda-water on a handkerchief and slapped it over her face. The telephone mouthpiece was still grinding and he put it to his ear.
“— the plane fell just this side of Kansas City. The body of Miles Calman has been identified and —”
He hung up the receiver.
“Lie still,” he said, stalling, as Stella opened her eyes.
“Oh, what’s happened?” she whispered. “Call them back. Oh, what’s happened?”
“I’ll call them right away. What’s your doctor’s name?”
“Did they say Miles was dead?”
“Lie quiet — is there a servant still up?”
“Hold me — I’m frightened.”
He put his arm around her.
“I want the name of your doctor,” he said sternly. “It may be a mistake but I want someone here.”
“It’s Doctor — Oh, God, is Miles dead?”
Joel ran upstairs and searched through strange medicine cabinets for spirits of ammonia. When he came down Stella cried:
“He isn’t dead — I know he isn’t. This is part of his scheme. He’s torturing me. I know he’s alive. I can feel he’s alive.”
“I want to get hold of some close friend of yours, Stella. You can’t stay here alone tonight.”
“Oh, no,” she cried. “I can’t see anybody. You stay. I haven’t got any friend.” She got up, tears streaming down her face. “Oh, Miles is my only friend. He’s not dead — he can’t be dead. I’m going there right away and see. Get a train. You’ll have to come with me.”
“You can’t. There’s nothing to do tonight. I want you to tell me the name of some woman I can call: Lois? Joan? Carmel? Isn’t there somebody?”
Stella stared at him blindly.
“Eva Goebel was my best friend,” she said.
Joel thought of Miles, his sad and desperate face in the office two days before. In the awful silence of his death all was clear about him. He was the only American-born director with both an interesting temperament132 and an artistic133 conscience. Meshed134 in an industry, he had paid with his ruined nerves for having no resilience, no healthy cynicism, no refuge — only a pitiful and precarious135 escape.
There was a sound at the outer door — it opened suddenly, and there were footsteps in the hall.
“Miles!” Stella screamed. “Is it you, Miles? Oh, it’s Miles.”
A telegraph boy appeared in the doorway136.
“I couldn’t find the bell. I heard you talking inside.”
The telegram was a duplicate of the one that had been phoned. While Stella read it over and over, as though it were a black lie, Joel telephoned. It was still early and he had difficulty getting anyone; when finally he succeeded in finding some friends he made Stella take a stiff drink.
“You’ll stay here, Joel,” she whispered, as though she were half-asleep. “You won’t go away. Miles liked you — he said you —” She shivered violently, “Oh, my God, you don’t know how alone I feel.” Her eyes closed, “Put your arms around me. Miles had a suit like that.” She started bolt upright. “Think of what he must have felt. He was afraid of almost everything, anyhow.”
She shook her head dazedly137. Suddenly she seized Joel’s face and held it close to hers.
“You won’t go. You like me — you love me, don’t you? Don’t call up anybody. Tomorrow’s time enough. You stay here with me tonight.”
He stared at her, at first incredulously, and then with shocked understanding. In her dark groping Stella was trying to keep Miles alive by sustaining a situation in which he had figured — as if Miles’ mind could not die so long as the possibilities that had worried him still existed. It was a distraught and tortured effort to stave off the realization that he was dead.
Resolutely138 Joel went to the phone and called a doctor.
“Don’t, oh, don’t call anybody!” Stella cried. “Come back here and put your arms around me.”
“Is Doctor Bales in?”
“Joel,” Stella cried. “I thought I could count on you. Miles liked you. He was jealous of you — Joel, come here.”
Ah then — if he betrayed Miles she would be keeping him alive — for if he were really dead how could he be betrayed?
“— has just had a very severe shock. Can you come at once, and get hold of a nurse?”
“Joel!”
Now the door-bell and the telephone began to ring intermittently139, and automobiles were stopping in front of the door.
“But you’re not going,” Stella begged him. “You’re going to stay, aren’t you?”
“No,” he answered. “But I’ll be back, if you need me.”
Standing on the steps of the house which now hummed and palpitated with the life that flutters around death like protective leaves, he began to sob9 a little in his throat.
“Everything he touched he did something magical to,” he thought. “He even brought that little gamin alive and made her a sort of masterpiece.”
And then:
“What a hell of a hole he leaves in this damn wilderness140 — already!”
And then with a certain bitterness, “Oh, yes, I’ll be back — I’ll be back!”
点击收听单词发音
1 automobiles | |
n.汽车( automobile的名词复数 ) | |
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2 ingenuities | |
足智多谋,心灵手巧( ingenuity的名词复数 ) | |
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3 personalities | |
n. 诽谤,(对某人容貌、性格等所进行的)人身攻击; 人身攻击;人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 ) | |
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4 kindling | |
n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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5 glazed | |
adj.光滑的,像玻璃的;上过釉的;呆滞无神的v.装玻璃( glaze的过去式);上釉于,上光;(目光)变得呆滞无神 | |
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6 waned | |
v.衰落( wane的过去式和过去分词 );(月)亏;变小;变暗淡 | |
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7 colloquy | |
n.谈话,自由讨论 | |
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8 hack | |
n.劈,砍,出租马车;v.劈,砍,干咳 | |
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9 sob | |
n.空间轨道的轰炸机;呜咽,哭泣 | |
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10 destined | |
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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11 supervisor | |
n.监督人,管理人,检查员,督学,主管,导师 | |
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12 cocktails | |
n.鸡尾酒( cocktail的名词复数 );餐前开胃菜;混合物 | |
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13 cocktail | |
n.鸡尾酒;餐前开胃小吃;混合物 | |
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14 succinct | |
adj.简明的,简洁的 | |
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15 vistas | |
长条形景色( vista的名词复数 ); 回顾; 展望; (未来可能发生的)一系列情景 | |
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16 thronged | |
v.成群,挤满( throng的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17 noted | |
adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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18 evoked | |
[医]诱发的 | |
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19 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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20 reassuring | |
a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的,使人放心的 | |
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21 reassured | |
adj.使消除疑虑的;使放心的v.再保证,恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
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22 sluggish | |
adj.懒惰的,迟钝的,无精打采的 | |
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23 eyelid | |
n.眼睑,眼皮 | |
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24 drooped | |
弯曲或下垂,发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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25 oracle | |
n.神谕,神谕处,预言 | |
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26 gambling | |
n.赌博;投机 | |
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27 vaguely | |
adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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28 prominence | |
n.突出;显著;杰出;重要 | |
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29 parlor | |
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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30 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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31 hunch | |
n.预感,直觉 | |
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32 throbbing | |
a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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33 scarlet | |
n.深红色,绯红色,红衣;adj.绯红色的 | |
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34 dictating | |
v.大声讲或读( dictate的现在分词 );口授;支配;摆布 | |
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35 sinister | |
adj.不吉利的,凶恶的,左边的 | |
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36 burlesque | |
v.嘲弄,戏仿;n.嘲弄,取笑,滑稽模仿 | |
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37 generators | |
n.发电机,发生器( generator的名词复数 );电力公司 | |
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38 intonations | |
n.语调,说话的抑扬顿挫( intonation的名词复数 );(演奏或唱歌中的)音准 | |
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39 pang | |
n.剧痛,悲痛,苦闷 | |
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40 faltering | |
犹豫的,支吾的,蹒跚的 | |
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41 ripple | |
n.涟波,涟漪,波纹,粗钢梳;vt.使...起涟漪,使起波纹; vi.呈波浪状,起伏前进 | |
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42 rustling | |
n. 瑟瑟声,沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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43 realization | |
n.实现;认识到,深刻了解 | |
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44 trek | |
vi.作长途艰辛的旅行;n.长途艰苦的旅行 | |
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45 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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46 clan | |
n.氏族,部落,宗族,家族,宗派 | |
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47 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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48 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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49 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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50 sneer | |
v.轻蔑;嘲笑;n.嘲笑,讥讽的言语 | |
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51 gastric | |
adj.胃的 | |
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52 taint | |
n.污点;感染;腐坏;v.使感染;污染 | |
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53 malefactor | |
n.罪犯 | |
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54 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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55 retirement | |
n.退休,退职 | |
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56 premiers | |
n.总理,首相( premier的名词复数 );首席官员, | |
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57 squires | |
n.地主,乡绅( squire的名词复数 ) | |
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58 preposterous | |
adj.荒谬的,可笑的 | |
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59 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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60 dwarfs | |
n.侏儒,矮子(dwarf的复数形式)vt.(使)显得矮小(dwarf的第三人称单数形式) | |
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61 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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62 garish | |
adj.华丽而俗气的,华而不实的 | |
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63 winced | |
赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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64 buffet | |
n.自助餐;饮食柜台;餐台 | |
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65 veins | |
n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理 | |
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66 feverish | |
adj.发烧的,狂热的,兴奋的 | |
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67 trout | |
n.鳟鱼;鲑鱼(属) | |
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68 pint | |
n.品脱 | |
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69 dressing | |
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料 | |
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70 fatigue | |
n.疲劳,劳累 | |
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71 second-hand | |
adj.用过的,旧的,二手的 | |
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72 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
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73 flops | |
n.失败( flop的名词复数 )v.(指书、戏剧等)彻底失败( flop的第三人称单数 );(因疲惫而)猛然坐下;(笨拙地、不由自主地或松弛地)移动或落下;砸锅 | |
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74 analyst | |
n.分析家,化验员;心理分析学家 | |
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75 disconsolately | |
adv.悲伤地,愁闷地;哭丧着脸 | |
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76 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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77 vehemently | |
adv. 热烈地 | |
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78 strands | |
n.(线、绳、金属线、毛发等的)股( strand的名词复数 );缕;海洋、湖或河的)岸;(观点、计划、故事等的)部份v.使滞留,使搁浅( strand的第三人称单数 ) | |
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79 unbearable | |
adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的 | |
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80 hovering | |
鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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81 libido | |
n.本能的冲动 | |
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82 mansion | |
n.大厦,大楼;宅第 | |
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83 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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84 tragic | |
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 | |
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85 eerie | |
adj.怪诞的;奇异的;可怕的;胆怯的 | |
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86 giggle | |
n.痴笑,咯咯地笑;v.咯咯地笑着说 | |
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87 innuendoes | |
n.影射的话( innuendo的名词复数 );讽刺的话;含沙射影;暗讽 | |
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88 sleek | |
adj.光滑的,井然有序的;v.使光滑,梳拢 | |
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89 hovered | |
鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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90 blatant | |
adj.厚颜无耻的;显眼的;炫耀的 | |
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91 baker | |
n.面包师 | |
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92 lessen | |
vt.减少,减轻;缩小 | |
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93 stifled | |
(使)窒息, (使)窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 ); 镇压,遏制; 堵 | |
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94 dame | |
n.女士 | |
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95 wrangle | |
vi.争吵 | |
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96 condemning | |
v.(通常因道义上的原因而)谴责( condemn的现在分词 );宣判;宣布…不能使用;迫使…陷于不幸的境地 | |
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97 persuasively | |
adv.口才好地;令人信服地 | |
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98 sagging | |
下垂[沉,陷],松垂,垂度 | |
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99 muddled | |
adj.混乱的;糊涂的;头脑昏昏然的v.弄乱,弄糟( muddle的过去式);使糊涂;对付,混日子 | |
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100 whatsoever | |
adv.(用于否定句中以加强语气)任何;pron.无论什么 | |
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101 shrugged | |
vt.耸肩(shrug的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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102 sagged | |
下垂的 | |
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103 replicas | |
n.复制品( replica的名词复数 ) | |
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104 stomping | |
v.跺脚,践踏,重踏( stomp的现在分词 ) | |
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105 chic | |
n./adj.别致(的),时髦(的),讲究的 | |
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106 reminder | |
n.提醒物,纪念品;暗示,提示 | |
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107 carnival | |
n.嘉年华会,狂欢,狂欢节,巡回表演 | |
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108 initiation | |
n.开始 | |
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109 limousines | |
n.豪华轿车( limousine的名词复数 );(往返机场接送旅客的)中型客车,小型公共汽车 | |
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110 curb | |
n.场外证券市场,场外交易;vt.制止,抑制 | |
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111 trickling | |
n.油画底色含油太多而成泡沫状突起v.滴( trickle的现在分词 );淌;使)慢慢走;缓慢移动 | |
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112 jack | |
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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113 justified | |
a.正当的,有理的 | |
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114 prop | |
vt.支撑;n.支柱,支撑物;支持者,靠山 | |
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115 scenic | |
adj.自然景色的,景色优美的 | |
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116 foliage | |
n.叶子,树叶,簇叶 | |
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117 eucalyptus | |
n.桉树,桉属植物 | |
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118 scrap | |
n.碎片;废料;v.废弃,报废 | |
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119 lurking | |
潜在 | |
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120 purely | |
adv.纯粹地,完全地 | |
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121 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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122 pawn | |
n.典当,抵押,小人物,走卒;v.典当,抵押 | |
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123 hearth | |
n.壁炉炉床,壁炉地面 | |
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124 tersely | |
adv. 简捷地, 简要地 | |
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125 entanglement | |
n.纠缠,牵累 | |
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126 thawing | |
n.熔化,融化v.(气候)解冻( thaw的现在分词 );(态度、感情等)缓和;(冰、雪及冷冻食物)溶化;软化 | |
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127 chauffeur | |
n.(受雇于私人或公司的)司机;v.为…开车 | |
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128 gulp | |
vt.吞咽,大口地吸(气);vi.哽住;n.吞咽 | |
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129 trumpet | |
n.喇叭,喇叭声;v.吹喇叭,吹嘘 | |
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130 lulling | |
vt.使镇静,使安静(lull的现在分词形式) | |
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131 inertly | |
adv.不活泼地,无生气地 | |
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132 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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133 artistic | |
adj.艺术(家)的,美术(家)的;善于艺术创作的 | |
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134 meshed | |
有孔的,有孔眼的,啮合的 | |
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135 precarious | |
adj.不安定的,靠不住的;根据不足的 | |
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136 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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137 dazedly | |
头昏眼花地,眼花缭乱地,茫然地 | |
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138 resolutely | |
adj.坚决地,果断地 | |
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139 intermittently | |
adv.间歇地;断断续续 | |
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140 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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