Everyone in that part of the world knows that generous, pompous5, and boisterous6 old gentleman. You could no more visit Cardyllian without seeing Vane Etherage, than you could visit Naples without seeing Vesuvius. He is a fine portly bust7, but little more. In his waking hours he lives alternately in his Bath chair and in the great leathern easy chair in his study. He manages to shuffle8 very slowly, leaning upon his servant on one side, and propped9 on his crutch10 at the other, across the hall of the Cardyllian Club, which boasts about six-and-thirty members, besides visitors, and into the billiard-room, where he takes possession of the chair by the fire, and enjoys the agreeable conversation of Captain Shrapnell, hears all about the new arrivals, who they are, what screws are loose, and where, and generally all the gossip and scandal of the little commonwealth11 of Cardyllian.
Vane Etherage had served in the navy, and, I believe, reached the rank of captain. In Cardyllian he was humorously styled “the Admiral,” when people spoke12 of him, not to him; for old Etherage was fiery13 and consequential14, and a practical joke which commenced in a note from an imaginary secretary, announcing that “The Badger15 Hunt” would meet at Hazelden House on a certain day, and inducing hospitable preparations, for the entertainment of those nebulous sportsmen, was like to have had a sanguinary ending. It was well remembered that when young Sniggers of Sligh Farm apologised on that occasion, old Etherage had arranged with Captain Shrapnell, who was to have been his second, that the Admiral was to fight in his Bath chair — an evidence of resource and resolution which was not lost upon his numerous friends.
“How do you do, Sedley? Very glad to see you, Tom — very glad indeed, sir. You’ll come tomorrow and dine; you must, indeed — and next day. You know our Welsh mutton — you do — you know it well; it’s better here than in any other place in the world — in the whole world, sir — the Hazelden mutton, and, egad, you’ll come here — you shall, sir — and dine here with us tomorrow; mind, you shall.”
The Admiral wore a fez, from beneath which his gray hair bushed16 out rather wildly, and he was smoking through an enormous pipe as Tom Sedley entered his study, accompanied by the ladies.
“He says he’s to go away tomorrow,” said Miss Charity, with an upbraiding17 look at Sedley.
“Pooh — nonsense — not he— not you, Tom — not a bit, sir. We won’t let you. Girls, we won’t allow him to go. Eh? — No — no — you dine here tomorrow, and next day.”
“You’re very kind, sir; but I promised, if I am still in Cardyllian tomorrow, to run over to Ware18, and dine with Verney.”
“What Verney?”
“Cleve Verney.”
“D—— him.”
“Oh, papa!” exclaimed Miss Charity, grimly.
“Boh! — I hate him — I hate all the Verneys,” bawled19 old Vane Etherage, as if hating were a duty and a generosity20.
“Oh — no, papa — you know you don’t — that would be extremely wicked,” said Miss Charity, with that severe superiority with which she governed the Admiral.
“Begad, you’re always telling me I’m wicked — and we know where the wicked go — that’s catechism, I believe — so I’d like to know where’s the difference between that and d-ing a fellow?” exclaimed the portly bust, and blew off his wrath21 with a testy22 laugh.
“I think we had better put off our bonnets23 and coats? — The language is becoming rather strong — and the tobacco,” said Miss Charity, with dry dignity, to her sister, leaving the study as she did so.
“I thought it might be that Kiffyn Verney — the uncle fellow — Honourable24 Kiffyn Verney —dis-honourable, I call him — that old dog, sir, he’s no better than a cheat — and I’d be glad of an opportunity to tell him so to his face, sir — you have no idea, sir, how he has behaved to me!”
“He has the character of being a very honourable, sir — I’m sorry you think so differently,” said honest Tom Sedley, who always stood up for his friends, and their kindred —“and Cleve, I’ve known from my childhood, and I assure you, sir, a franker or more generous fellow I don’t suppose there is on earth.”
“I know nothing about the jackanape, except that he’s nephew of his roguish uncle,” said the florid old gentleman with the short high nose and double chin. “He wants to take up Llanderis, and he shan’t have it. He’s under covenant25 to renew the lease, and the devil of it is, that between me and Wynne Williams we have put the lease astray — and I can’t find it — nor he either — but it will turn up — I don’t care two-pence about it — but no one shall humbug26 me — I won’t be gammoned, sir, by all the Verneys in England. Stuff— sir!”
Then the conversation took a happier turn. The weather was sometimes a little squally with the Admiral — but not often — genial27 and boisterous — on the whole sunny and tolerably serene28 — and though he sometimes threatened high and swore at his servants, they knew it did not mean a great deal, and liked him.
People who lived all the year round in Cardyllian, which from November to May, every year, is a solitude29, fall into those odd ways and little self-indulgences which gradually metamorphose men of the world into humorists and grotesques30. Given a sparse31 population, and difficult intercommunication, which in effect constitute solitude, and you have the conditions of barbarism. Thus it was that Vane Etherage had grown uncouth32 to a degree that excited the amazement33 of old contemporaries who happened, from time to time, to look in upon his invalided34 retirement35 at Cardyllian.
The ladies and Tom Sedley, in the drawing-room, talked very merrily at tea, while old Vane Etherage, in his study, with the door between the rooms wide open, amused himself with a nautical36 volume and his terrestrial globe.
“So,” said Miss Agnes, “you admired the Malory young lady — Margaret, our maid says, she is called — very much today?”
“I did, by Jove. Didn’t you?” said Tom, well pleased to return to the subject.
“Yes,” said Agnes, looking down at her spoon —“Yes, I admired her; that is, her features are very regular; she’s what I call extremely handsome; but there are prettier girls.”
“Here do you mean?”
“Yes — here.”
“And who are they?”
“Well, I don’t say here now; but I do think those Miss Dartmores, for instance, who were here last year, and who used to wear those blue dresses, were decidedly prettier. The heroine of Malory, whom you have fallen in love with, seems to me to want animation37.”
“Why, she couldn’t show a great deal of animation over the Litany,” said Tom.
“I did not see her then; I happened to be praying myself during the Litany,” said Miss Agnes, recollecting38 herself.
“It’s more than I was,” said Tom.
“You ought not to talk that way, Mr. Sedley. It isn’t nice. I wonder you can,” said Miss Charity.
“I would not say it, of course, to strangers,” said Tom. “But then, I’m so intimate here — and it’s really true, that is, I mean, it was today.”
“I wonder what you go to church for,” said Miss Charity.
“Well, of course, you know, it’s to pray; but I look at the bonnets a little, also; every fellow does. By Jove, if they’d only say truth, I’m certain the clergymen peep — I often saw them. There’s that little fellow, the Rev39. Richard Pritchard, the curate, you know — I’d swear I’ve seen that fellow watching you, Agnes, through the chink in the reading-desk door, while the sermon was going on; and I venture to say he did not hear a word of it.”
“You ought to tell the rector, if you really saw that,” said Miss Charity, severely40.
“Pray do no such thing,” entreated41 Agnes; “a pleasant situation for me!”
“Certainly, if Mr. Pritchard behaves himself as you describe,” said Miss Charity; “but I’ve been for hours shut up in the same room with him — sometimes here, and sometimes at the school — about the children, and the widows’ fund, and the parish charities, and I never observed the slightest levity42; but you are joking, I’m sure.”
“I’m not, upon my honour. I don’t say it’s the least harm. I don’t see how he can help it; I know if I were up in the air — in a reading-desk, with a good chink in the door, where I thought no one could see me, and old Doctor Splayfoot preaching his pet sermon over my head —wouldn’t I peep? — that’s all.”
“Well, I really think, if he makes a habit of it, I ought to speak to Doctor Splayfoot. I think it’s my duty,” said Miss Charity, sitting up very stiffly, as she did when she spoke of duty; and when once the notion of a special duty got into her head, her inflexibility43, as Tom Sedley and her sister Agnes knew, was terrifying.
“For mercy’s sake, my dear Charry, do think of me! If you tell Doctor Splayfoot he’ll be certain to tell it all to Wynne Williams and Doctor Lyster, and Price Apjohn, and every creature in Cardyllian will know everything about it, and a great deal more, before two hours; and once for all, if that ridiculous story is set afloat, into the church door I’ll never set my foot again.”
Miss Agnes’ pretty face had flushed crimson44, and her lip quivered with distress45.
“How can you be such a fool, Aggie46! I’ll only say it was at our seat— and no one can possibly tell which it was at — you or me; and I’ll certainly tell Dr. Splayfoot that Mr. Sedley saw it.”
“And I’ll tell the Doctor,” said Sedley, who enjoyed the debate immensely, “that I neither saw nor said any such thing.”
“I don’t think, Thomas Sedley, you’d do anything so excessively wicked!” exclaimed Miss Charity, a little fiercely.
“Try me,” said Tom, with an exulting47 little laugh.
“Every gentleman tells the truth,” thrust she.
“Except where it makes mischief,” parried Tom, with doubtful morality and another mischievous48 laugh.
“Well, I suppose I had better say nothing of Christianity. But what you do is your own affair! my duty I’ll perform. I shall think it over; and I shan’t be ruffled49 by any folly50 intended to annoy me.” Miss Charity’s thin brown cheeks had flushed to a sort of madder crimson. Excepting these flashes of irritability51, I can’t charge her with many human weaknesses. “I’ll not say who he looked at — I’ve promised that; but unless I change my present opinion, Dr. Splayfoot shall hear the whole thing tomorrow. I think in a clergyman any such conduct in church is unpardonable. The effect on other people is positively52 ruinous. You, for instance, would not have talked about such things in the light you do, if you had not been encouraged in it, by seeing a clergyman conducting himself so.”
“Mind, you’ve promised poor little Agnes, you’ll not bring her into the business, no matter what I do,” said Sedley.
“I have, certainly.”
“Well, I’ll stay in Cardyllian tomorrow, and I’ll see Doctor Splayfoot.” Sedley was buttoning his coat and pulling on his gloves, with a wicked smile on his good-humoured face. “And I’ll tell him that you think the curate ogles53 you through a hole in the reading-desk. That you like him, and he’s very much gone about you; and that you wish the affair brought to a point; and that you’re going to appeal to him — Doctor Splayfoot — to use his authority either to affect that, or to stop the ogling54. I will, upon my honour!”
“And I shall speak to papa to prevent it,” said Miss Charity, who was fierce and literal.
“And that will bring about a duel55, and he’ll be shot in his Bath chair, and I shall be hanged”— old Vane Etherage, with his spectacles on, was plodding56 away serenely57 at the little table by the fire, over his Naval58 Chronicle—“and Pritchard will be deprived of his curacy, and you’ll go mad, and Agnes will drown herself like Ophelia, and a nice little tragedy you’ll have brought about. Good night; I’ll not disturb him”— he glanced toward the unconscious Admiral —“I’ll see you both tomorrow, after I’ve spoken to the Rector.” He kissed his hand, and was gone.
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1
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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boisterous
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| adj.喧闹的，欢闹的 | |
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7
bust
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| vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部 | |
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8
shuffle
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| n.拖著脚走，洗纸牌；v.拖曳，慢吞吞地走 | |
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9
propped
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| 支撑，支持，维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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crutch
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| n.T字形拐杖；支持，依靠，精神支柱 | |
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11
commonwealth
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| n.共和国，联邦，共同体 | |
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12
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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13
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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14
consequential
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| adj.作为结果的，间接的；重要的 | |
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15
badger
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| v.一再烦扰，一再要求，纠缠 | |
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16
bushed
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| adj.疲倦的 | |
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17
upbraiding
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| adj.& n.谴责（的）v.责备，申斥，谴责( upbraid的现在分词 ) | |
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18
ware
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| n.(常用复数)商品，货物 | |
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19
bawled
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的过去式和过去分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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20
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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21
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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22
testy
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| adj.易怒的；暴躁的 | |
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23
bonnets
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| n.童帽( bonnet的名词复数 )；（烟囱等的）覆盖物；（苏格兰男子的）无边呢帽；（女子戴的）任何一种帽子 | |
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24
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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25
covenant
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| n.盟约，契约；v.订盟约 | |
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26
humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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27
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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28
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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29
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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30
grotesques
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| n.衣着、打扮、五官等古怪，不协调的样子( grotesque的名词复数 ) | |
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31
sparse
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| adj.稀疏的，稀稀落落的，薄的 | |
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32
uncouth
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| adj.无教养的，粗鲁的 | |
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33
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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34
invalided
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| 使伤残（invalid的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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35
retirement
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| n.退休，退职 | |
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36
nautical
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| adj.海上的，航海的，船员的 | |
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37
animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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38
recollecting
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| v.记起，想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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39
rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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40
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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41
entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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43
inflexibility
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| n.不屈性，顽固，不变性；不可弯曲；非挠性；刚性 | |
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44
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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45
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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46
aggie
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| n.农校，农科大学生 | |
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47
exulting
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| vi. 欢欣鼓舞，狂喜 | |
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48
mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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49
ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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50
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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51
irritability
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| n.易怒 | |
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52
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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53
ogles
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| v.（向…）抛媚眼，送秋波( ogle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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54
ogling
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| v.（向…）抛媚眼，送秋波( ogle的现在分词 ) | |
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55
duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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56
plodding
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| a.proceeding in a slow or dull way | |
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57
serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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58
naval
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| adj.海军的，军舰的，船的 | |
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