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首页 » 经典英文小说 » The Vicar of Bullhampton » Chapter 65. Mary Lowther Leaves Bullhampton.
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Chapter 65. Mary Lowther Leaves Bullhampton.
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It was considerably1 past one o’clock, and the children’s dinner was upon the table in the dining parlour before anyone in the vicarage had seen Mary Lowther since the departure of the Squire2. When she left Mr. Gilmore, she had gone to her own room, and no one had disturbed her. As the children were being seated, Fenwick returned, and his wife put into his hand the note which Gilmore had left for her.

“What passed between them?” he asked in a whisper.

His wife shook her head. “I have not seen her,” she said, “but he talks of speaking plainly, and I suppose it was bitter enough.”

“He can be very bitter if he’s driven hard,” said the Vicar; “and he has been driven very hard,” he added, after a while.

As soon as the children had eaten their dinner, Mrs. Fenwick went up to Mary’s room with the Squire’s note in her hand. She knocked, and was at once admitted, and she found Mary sitting at her writing-desk.

“Will you not come to lunch, Mary?”

“Yes,—if I ought. I suppose I might not have a cup of tea brought up here?”

“You shall have whatever you like,—here or anywhere else, as far as the vicarage goes. What did he say to you this morning?”

“It is of no use that I should tell you, Janet.”

“You did not yield to him, then?”

“Certainly, I did not. Certainly I never shall yield to him. Dear Janet, pray take that as a certainty. Let me make you sure at any rate of that. He must be sure of it himself.”

“Here is his note to me, written, I suppose, after you left him.” Mary took the scrap3 of paper from her hand and read it. “He is not sure, you see,” continued Mrs. Fenwick. “He has written to me, and I suppose that I must answer him.”

“He shall certainly never have to blush for me as his wife,” said Mary. But she would not tell her friend of the hard words that had been said to her. She understood well the allusion4 in Mr. Gilmore’s note, but she would not explain it. She had determined5, as she thought about it in her solitude6, that it would be better that she should never repeat to anyone the cruel words which her lover had spoken to her. Doubtless he had received provocation7. All his anger, as well as all his suffering, had come from a constancy in his love for her, which was unsurpassed, if not unequalled, in all that she had read of among men. He had been willing to accept her on conditions most humiliating to himself; and had then been told, that, even with those conditions, he was not to have her. She was bound to forgive him almost any offence that he could bestow8 upon her. He had spoken to her in his wrath9 words which she thought to be not only cruel but unmanly. She had told him that she would never speak willingly to him again; and she would keep her word. But she would forgive him. She was bound to forgive him any injury, let it be what it might. She would forgive him;—and as a sign to herself of her pardon she would say no word of his offence to her friends, the Fenwicks. “He shall certainly never have to blush for me as his wife,” she said, as she returned the note to Mrs. Fenwick.

“You mean, that you never will be his wife?”

“Certainly I mean that.”

“Have you quarrelled with him, Mary?”

“Quarrelled? How am I to answer that? It will be better that we should not meet again. Of course, our interview could not be pleasant for either of us. I do not wish him to think that there has been a quarrel.”

“No man ever did a woman more honour than he has done to you.”

“Dearest Janet, let it be dropped;—pray let it be dropped. I am sure you believe me now when I say that it can do no good. I am writing to my aunt this moment to tell her that I will return. What day shall I name?”

“Have you written to your cousin?”

“No I have not written to my cousin. I have not been able to get through it all, Janet, quite so easily as that.”

“I suppose you had better go now.”

“Yes;—I must go now. I should be a thorn in his side if I were to remain here.”

“He will not remain, Mary.”

“He shall have the choice as far as I am concerned. You must let him know at once that I am going. I think I will say Saturday,—the day after to-morrow. I could hardly get away to-morrow.”

“Certainly not. Why should you?”

“Yet I am bound to hurry myself,—to release him. And, Janet, will you give him these? They are all here,—the rubies10 and all. Ah, me! he touched me that day.”

“How like a gentleman he has behaved always.”

“It was not that I cared for the stupid stones. You know that I care nothing for anything of the kind. But there was a sort of trust in it,—a desire to show me that everything should be mine,—which would have made me love him,—if it had been possible.”

“I would give one hand that you had never seen your cousin.”

“And I will give one hand because I have,” said Mary, stretching out her right arm. “Nay, I will give both; I will give all, because, having seen him, he is what he is to me. But, Janet, when you return to him these things say a gentle word from me. I have cost him money, I fear.”

“He will think but little of that. He would have given you willingly the last acre of his land, had you wanted it.”

“But I did not want it. That was the thing. And all these have been altered, as they would not have been altered, but for me. I do repent11 that I have brought all this trouble upon him. I cannot do more now than ask you to say so when you restore to him his property.”

“He will probably pitch them into the cart-ruts. Indeed, I will not give them to him. I will simply tell him that they are in my hands, and Frank shall have them locked up at the banker’s. Well;—I suppose I had better go down and write him a line.”

“And I will name Saturday to my aunt,” said Mary.

Mrs. Fenwick immediately went to her desk, and wrote to her friend.

Dear Harry12,

I am sure it is of no use. Knowing how persistent13 is your constancy, I would not say so were I not quite, quite certain. She goes to Loring on Saturday. Will it not be better that you should come to us for awhile after she has left us. You will be less desolate14 with Frank than you would be alone.

Ever yours,

Janet Fenwick.

She has left your jewels with me. I merely tell you this for your information;—not to trouble you with the things now.

And then she added a second postscript15.

She regrets deeply what you have suffered on her account, and bids me beg you to forgive her.

Thus it was settled that Mary Lowther should leave Bullhampton, again returning to Loring, as she had done before, in order that she might escape from her suitor. In writing to her aunt she had thought it best to say nothing of Walter Marrable. She had not as yet written to her cousin, postponing16 that work for the following day. She would have postponed17 it longer had it been possible; but she felt herself to be bound to let him have her reply before he left Dunripple. She would have much preferred to return to Loring, to have put miles between herself and Bullhampton, before she wrote a letter which must contain words of happy joy. It would have gratified her to have postponed for awhile all her future happiness, knowing that it was there before her, and that it would come to her at last. But it could not be postponed. Her cousin’s letter was burning her pocket. She already felt that she was treating him badly in keeping it by her without sending him the reply that would make him happy. She could not bring herself to write the letter till the other matter was absolutely settled; and yet, all delay was treachery to him; for,—as she repeated to herself again and again,—there could be no answer but one. She had, however, settled it all now. On the Saturday morning she would start for Loring, and she would write her letter on the Friday in time for that day’s post. Walter would still be at Dunripple on the Sunday, and on the Sunday morning her letter would reach him. She had studied the course of post between Bullhampton and her lover’s future residence, and knew to an hour when her letter would be in his hands.

On that afternoon she could hardly maintain the tranquillity18 of her usual demeanour when she met the Vicar before dinner. Not a word, however, was said about Gilmore. Fenwick partly understood that he and his wife were in some degree responsible for the shipwreck19 that had come, and had determined that Mary was to be forgiven,—at any rate by him. He and his wife had taken counsel together, and had resolved that, unless circumstances should demand it, they would never again mention the Squire’s name in Mary Lowther’s hearing. The attempt had been made and had utterly20 failed, and now there must be an end of it. On the next morning he heard that Gilmore had gone up to London, and he went up to the Privets to learn what he could from the servants there. No one knew more than that the Squire’s letters were to be directed to him at his Club. The men were still at work about the place; but Ambrose told him that they were all at sea as to what they should do, and appealed to him for orders. “If we shut off on Saturday, sir, the whole place’ll be a muck of mud and nothin’ else all winter,” said the gardener. The Vicar suggested that after all a muck of mud outside the house wouldn’t do much harm. “But master ain’t the man to put up with that all’ays, and it’ll cost twice as much to have ’em about the place again arter a bit.” This, however, was the least trouble. If Ambrose was disconsolate21 out of doors, the man who was looking after the work indoors was twice more so. “If we be to work on up to Saturday night,” he said, “and then do never a stroke more, we be a doing nothing but mischief22. Better leave it at once nor that, sir.” Then Fenwick was obliged to take upon himself to give certain orders. The papering of the rooms should be finished where the walls had been already disturbed, and the cornices completed, and the wood-work painted. But as for the furniture, hangings, and such like, they should be left till further orders should be received from the owner. As for the mud and muck in the garden, his only care was that the place should not be so left as to justify23 the neighbours in saying that Mr. Gilmore was demented. But he would be able to get instructions from his friend, or perhaps to see him, in time to save danger in that respect.

In the meantime Mary Lowther had gone up to her room, and seated herself with her blotting-book and pens and ink. She had now before her the pleasure,—or was it a task?—of answering her cousin’s letter. She had that letter in her hand, and had already read it twice this morning. She had thought that she would so well know how to answer it; but, now that the pen was in her hand, she found that the thing to be done was not so easy. How much must she tell him, and how should she tell it? It was not that there was anything which she desired to keep back from him. She was willing,—nay, desirous,—that he should know all that she had said, and done, and thought; but it would have been a blessing24 if all could have been told to him by other agency than her own. He would not condemn25 her. Nor, as she thought of her own conduct back from one scene to another, did she condemn herself. Yet there was that of which she could not write without a feeling of shame. And then, how could she be happy, when she had caused so much misery26? And how could she write her letter without expressing her happiness? She wished that her own identity might be divided, so that she might rejoice over Walter’s love with the one moiety27, and grieve with the other at all the trouble she had brought upon the man whose love to her had been so constant. She sat with the open letter in her hand, thinking over all this, till she told herself at last that no further thinking could avail her. She must bend herself over the table, and take the pen in her hand, and write the words, let them come as they would.

Her letter, she thought, must be longer than his. He had a knack28 of writing short letters; and then there had been so little for him to say. He had merely a single question to ask; and, although he had asked it more than once,—as is the manner of people in asking such questions,—still, a sheet of note-paper loosely filled had sufficed. Then she read it again. “If you bid me, I will be with you early next week.” What if she told him nothing, but only bade him come to her? After all, would it not be best to write no more than that? Then she took her pen, and in three minutes her letter was completed.

The Vicarage, Friday.

Dearest, dearest Walter,

Do come to me,—as soon as you can, and I will never send you away again. I go to Loring to-morrow, and, of course, you must come there. I cannot write it all; but I will tell you everything when we meet. I am very sorry for your cousin Gregory, because he was so good.

Always your own,

Mary.

But do not think that I want to hurry you. I have said come at once; but I do not mean that so as to interfere29 with you. You must have so many things to do; and if I get one line from you to say that you will come, I can be ever so patient. I have not been happy once since we parted. It is easy for people to say that they will conquer their feelings, but it has seemed to me to be quite impossible to do it. I shall never try again.

As soon as the body of her letter was written, she could have continued her postscript for ever. It seemed to her then as though nothing would be more delightful30 than to let the words flow on with full expressions of all her love and happiness. To write to him was pleasant enough, as long as there came on her no need to mention Mr. Gilmore’s name.

That was to be her last evening at Bullhampton; and though no allusion was made to the subject, they were all thinking that she could never return to Bullhampton again. She had been almost as much at home with them as with her aunt at Loring; and now she must leave the place for ever. But they said not a word; and the evening passed by almost as had passed all other evenings. The remembrance of what had taken place since she had been at Bullhampton made it almost impossible to speak of her departure.

In the morning she was to be again driven to the railway-station at Westbury. Mr. Fenwick had work in his parish which would keep him at home, and she was to be trusted to the driving of the groom31. “If I were to be away to-morrow,” he said, as he parted from her that evening, “the churchwardens would have me up to the archdeacon, and the archdeacon might tell the Marquis, and where should I be then?” Of course she begged him not to give it a second thought. “Dear Mary,” he said, “I should of all things have liked to have seen the last of you,—that you might know that I love you as well as ever.” Then she burst into tears, and kissed him, and told him that she would always look to him as to a brother.

She called Mrs. Fenwick into her own room before she undressed. “Janet,” she said, “dearest Janet, we are not to part for ever?”

“For ever! No, certainly. Why for ever?”

“I shall never see you, unless you will come to me. Promise me that if ever I have a house you will come to me.”

“Of course you will have a house, Mary.”

“And you will come and see me,—will you not? Promise that you will come to me. I can never come back to dear, dear Bullhampton.”

“No doubt we shall meet, Mary.”

“And you must bring the children—my darling Flos! How else ever shall I see her? And you must write to me, Janet.”

“I will write,—as often as you do, I don’t doubt.”

“You must tell me how he is, Janet. You must not suppose that I do not care for his welfare because I have not loved him. I know that my coming here has been a curse to him. But I could not help it. Could I have helped it, Janet?”

“Poor fellow! I wish it had not been so.”

“But you do not blame me;—not much? Oh, Janet, say that you do not condemn me.”

“I can say that with most perfect truth. I do not blame you. It has been most unfortunate; but I do not blame you. I am sure that you have struggled to do the best that you could.”

“God bless you, my dearest, dearest friend! If you could only know how anxious I have been not to be wrong. But things have been wrong, and I could not put them right.”

On the next morning they packed her into the little four-wheeled phaeton, and so she left Bullhampton. “I believe her to be as good a girl as ever lived,” said the Vicar; “but all the same, I wish with all my heart that she had never come to Bullhampton.”

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 considerably 0YWyQ     
adv.极大地;相当大地;在很大程度上
参考例句:
  • The economic situation has changed considerably.经济形势已发生了相当大的变化。
  • The gap has narrowed considerably.分歧大大缩小了。
2 squire 0htzjV     
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅
参考例句:
  • I told him the squire was the most liberal of men.我告诉他乡绅是世界上最宽宏大量的人。
  • The squire was hard at work at Bristol.乡绅在布里斯托尔热衷于他的工作。
3 scrap JDFzf     
n.碎片;废料;v.废弃,报废
参考例句:
  • A man comes round regularly collecting scrap.有个男人定时来收废品。
  • Sell that car for scrap.把那辆汽车当残品卖了吧。
4 allusion CfnyW     
n.暗示,间接提示
参考例句:
  • He made an allusion to a secret plan in his speech.在讲话中他暗示有一项秘密计划。
  • She made no allusion to the incident.她没有提及那个事件。
5 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
6 solitude xF9yw     
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方
参考例句:
  • People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
  • They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。
7 provocation QB9yV     
n.激怒,刺激,挑拨,挑衅的事物,激怒的原因
参考例句:
  • He's got a fiery temper and flares up at the slightest provocation.他是火爆性子,一点就着。
  • They did not react to this provocation.他们对这一挑衅未作反应。
8 bestow 9t3zo     
v.把…赠与,把…授予;花费
参考例句:
  • He wished to bestow great honors upon the hero.他希望将那些伟大的荣誉授予这位英雄。
  • What great inspiration wiII you bestow on me?你有什么伟大的灵感能馈赠给我?
9 wrath nVNzv     
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒
参考例句:
  • His silence marked his wrath. 他的沉默表明了他的愤怒。
  • The wrath of the people is now aroused. 人们被激怒了。
10 rubies 534be3a5d4dab7c1e30149143213b88f     
红宝石( ruby的名词复数 ); 红宝石色,深红色
参考例句:
  • a necklace of rubies intertwined with pearls 缠着珍珠的红宝石项链
  • The crown was set with precious jewels—diamonds, rubies and emeralds. 王冠上镶嵌着稀世珍宝—有钻石、红宝石、绿宝石。
11 repent 1CIyT     
v.悔悟,悔改,忏悔,后悔
参考例句:
  • He has nothing to repent of.他没有什么要懊悔的。
  • Remission of sins is promised to those who repent.悔罪者可得到赦免。
12 harry heBxS     
vt.掠夺,蹂躏,使苦恼
参考例句:
  • Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天,人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
  • Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。
13 persistent BSUzg     
adj.坚持不懈的,执意的;持续的
参考例句:
  • Albert had a persistent headache that lasted for three days.艾伯特连续头痛了三天。
  • She felt embarrassed by his persistent attentions.他不时地向她大献殷勤,使她很难为情。
14 desolate vmizO     
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂
参考例句:
  • The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
  • We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后,我们都觉得万分孤寂。
15 postscript gPhxp     
n.附言,又及;(正文后的)补充说明
参考例句:
  • There was the usual romantic postscript at the end of his letter.他的信末又是一贯的浪漫附言。
  • She mentioned in a postscript to her letter that the parcel had arrived.她在信末附笔中说包裹已寄到。
16 postponing 3ca610c0db966cd6f77cd5d15dc2b28c     
v.延期,推迟( postpone的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • He tried to gain time by postponing his decision. 他想以迟迟不作决定的手段来争取时间。 来自辞典例句
  • I don't hold with the idea of postponing further discussion of the matter. 我不赞成推迟进一步讨论这件事的想法。 来自辞典例句
17 postponed 9dc016075e0da542aaa70e9f01bf4ab1     
vt.& vi.延期,缓办,(使)延迟vt.把…放在次要地位;[语]把…放在后面(或句尾)vi.(疟疾等)延缓发作(或复发)
参考例句:
  • The trial was postponed indefinitely. 审讯无限期延迟。
  • The game has already been postponed three times. 这场比赛已经三度延期了。
18 tranquillity 93810b1103b798d7e55e2b944bcb2f2b     
n. 平静, 安静
参考例句:
  • The phenomenon was so striking and disturbing that his philosophical tranquillity vanished. 这个令人惶惑不安的现象,扰乱了他的旷达宁静的心境。
  • My value for domestic tranquillity should much exceed theirs. 我应该远比他们重视家庭的平静生活。
19 shipwreck eypwo     
n.船舶失事,海难
参考例句:
  • He walked away from the shipwreck.他船难中平安地脱险了。
  • The shipwreck was a harrowing experience.那次船难是一个惨痛的经历。
20 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
21 disconsolate OuOxR     
adj.忧郁的,不快的
参考例句:
  • He looked so disconsolate that It'scared her.他看上去情绪很坏,吓了她一跳。
  • At the dress rehearsal she was disconsolate.彩排时她闷闷不乐。
22 mischief jDgxH     
n.损害,伤害,危害;恶作剧,捣蛋,胡闹
参考例句:
  • Nobody took notice of the mischief of the matter. 没有人注意到这件事情所带来的危害。
  • He seems to intend mischief.看来他想捣蛋。
23 justify j3DxR     
vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护
参考例句:
  • He tried to justify his absence with lame excuses.他想用站不住脚的借口为自己的缺席辩解。
  • Can you justify your rude behavior to me?你能向我证明你的粗野行为是有道理的吗?
24 blessing UxDztJ     
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿
参考例句:
  • The blessing was said in Hebrew.祷告用了希伯来语。
  • A double blessing has descended upon the house.双喜临门。
25 condemn zpxzp     
vt.谴责,指责;宣判(罪犯),判刑
参考例句:
  • Some praise him,whereas others condemn him.有些人赞扬他,而有些人谴责他。
  • We mustn't condemn him on mere suppositions.我们不可全凭臆测来指责他。
26 misery G10yi     
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦
参考例句:
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
27 moiety LEJxj     
n.一半;部分
参考例句:
  • The primary structure of globin moiety is determined by the plant genome.球蛋白一半的最初构造决定于植物的染色体组。
  • The development moiety which is released upon heating is usually a mercaptan.经加热释放出的显影抑制剂的部分通常是硫醇
28 knack Jx9y4     
n.诀窍,做事情的灵巧的,便利的方法
参考例句:
  • He has a knack of teaching arithmetic.他教算术有诀窍。
  • Making omelettes isn't difficult,but there's a knack to it.做煎蛋饼并不难,但有窍门。
29 interfere b5lx0     
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰
参考例句:
  • If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话,可能弊多利少。
  • When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件,棘手的事情就来了。
30 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的
参考例句:
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
31 groom 0fHxW     
vt.给(马、狗等)梳毛,照料,使...整洁
参考例句:
  • His father was a groom.他父亲曾是个马夫。
  • George was already being groomed for the top job.为承担这份高级工作,乔治已在接受专门的培训。


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