UNNATURALLY1 STILL AND WHITE, WITH LARGE BLACK EYES intent on my face, my visitorwaited perfectly2 motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining.
My knees trembled for a second, and I nearly fell. Then I hurled3 myself at her.
"Alice, oh, Alice!" I cried, as I slammed into her.
I'd forgotten how hard she was; it was like running headlong into a wall of cement.
"Bella?" There was a strange mingling4 of relief and confusion in her voice.
I locked my arms around her, gasping5 to inhale6 as much of the scent7 of her skin as possible. It wasn't likeanything else—not floral or spice, citrus or musk8. No perfume in the world could compare. My memoryhadn't done it justice.
I didn't notice when the gasping turned into something else—I only realized I was sobbing9 when Alicedragged me to the living room couch and pulled me into her lap. It was like curling up into a cool stone,but a stone that was contoured comfortingly to the shape of my body. She rubbed my back in a gentlerhythm, waiting for me to get control of myself.
"I'm… sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just… so happy… to see you!""It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay." "Yes," I bawled10. And, for once, it seemed that way.
Alice sighed. "I'd forgotten how exuberant11 you are," she said, and her tone was disapproving12.
I looked up at her through my streaming eyes. Alice's neck was tight, straining away from me, her lipspressed together firmly. Her eyes were black as pitch.
"Oh," I puffed13, as I realized the problem. She was thirsty. And I smelled appetizing. It had been a whilesince I'd had to think about that kind of thing. "Sorry.""It's my own fault. It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty. But I was in ahurry today." The look she directed at me then was a glare. "Speaking of which, would you like toexplain to me how you're alive?"That brought me up short and stopped the sobs14. I realized what must have happened immediately, andwhy Alice was here.
I swallowed loudly. "You saw me fall.""No," she disagreed, her eyes narrowing. "I saw you jump."I pursed my lips as I tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't sound nuts.
Alice shook her head. "I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me. 'Bella promised,'" hervoice imitated his so perfectly that I iroze in shock while the pain ripped through my torso. "'Don't belooking for her future, either,'" she continued to quote him. '"We've done enough damage.""But just because I'm not looking, doesn't mean I don't see" she went on. "I wasn't keeping tabs on you,I swear, Bella. It's just that I'm alreacy attuned15 to you… when I saw you jumping, I didn't think, I just goton a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do nothing. And then I get here, thinking maybe Icould help Charlie somehow, and you drive up." She shook her head, this time in confusion. Her voicewas strained. "I saw you go into the water and I waited and waited for you to come up, but you didn't.
What happened? And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this would do tohim? And my brother? Do you have any idea what Edward—"I cut her off then, as soon as she said his name. I'd let her go on, even after I realized themisunderstanding she was under, just to hear the perfect bell tone of her voice. But it was time tointerrupt.
"Alice, I wasn't committing suicide."She eyed me dubiously16. "Are you saying you didn't jump off a cliff?""No, but…" I grimaced17. "It was for recreational purposes only."Her expression hardened.
"I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving," I insisted. "It looked like… fun, and I was bored…"She waited.
"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. Actually, I didn't think about the watermuch at all."Alice didn't buy it. I could see that she still thought I had been trying to kill myself. I decided18 to redirect.
"So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?"She cocked her head to the side, distracted.
I continued. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me. Well,okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back toshore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was underbefore he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?"She frowned in perplexity. "Someone pulled you out?""Yes. Jacob saved me."I watched curiously19 as an enigmatic range of emotions flitted across her face. Something was botheringher—her imperfect vision? But I wasn't sure. Then she deliberately20 leaned in and sniffed21 my shoulder.
I froze.
"Don't be ridiculous," she muttered, sniffing22 at me some more.
"What are you doing?"She ignored my question. "Who was with you out there just now? It sounded like you were arguing.""Jacob Black. He's… sort of my best friend, I guess. At least, he was…" I thought of Jacob's angry,betrayed face, and wondered what he was to me now.
Alice nodded, seeming preoccupied23.
"What?""I don't know," she said. "I'm not sure what it means.""Well, I'm not dead, at least."She rolled her eyes. "He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone24 tolife-threatening idiocy25.""I survived," I pointed26 out.
She was thinking of something else. "So, if the currents were too much for you, how did this Jacobmanage?""Jacob is… strong."She heard the reluctance27 in my voice, and her eyebrows28 rose.
I gnawed29 on my lip for a second. Was this a secret, or not? And if it was, then who was my greatestallegiance to? Jacob, or Alice?
It was too hard to keep secrets, I decided. Jacob knew everything, why not Alice, too?
"See, well, he's… sort of a werewolf," I admitted in a rush. "The Quileutes turn into wolves when thereare vampires30 around. They know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?"Alice gawked at me for a moment, and then recovered herself, blinking rapidly. "Well, I guess that explains the smell," she muttered. "But does it explain what I didn't see?" She frowned, her porcelainforehead creasing32.
"The smell?" I repeated.
"You smell awful," she said absently, still frowning. "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?""Very sure," I promised, wincing33 as I remembered Paul and Jacob fighting in the road. "I guess youweren't with Carlisle the last time there were werewolves here in Forks?""No. I hadn't found him yet." Alice was still lost in thought. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she turnedto stare at me with a shocked expression. "Your best friend is a werewolf?"I nodded sheepishly.
"How long has this been going on?""Not long," I said, my voice sounding defensive34. "He's only been a werewolf for just a few weeks."She glowered35 at me. "A young werewolf? Even worse! Edward was right—you're a magnet for danger.
Weren't you supposed to be staying out of trouble?""There's nothing wrong with werewolves," I grumbled36, stung by her critical tone.
"Until they lose their tempers." She shook her head sharply from side to side. "Leave it to you, Bella.
Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But you have to start hanging out with thefirst monsters you can find."I didn't want to argue with Alice—I was still trembling with joy that she was really, truly here, that I couldtouch her marble skin and hear her wind-chime voice—but she had it all wrong.
"No, Alice, the vampires didn't really leave—not all of them, anyway. That's the whole trouble. If itweren't for the werewolves, Victoria would have gotten me by now. Well, if it weren't for Jake and hisfriends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess, so—""Victoria?" she hissed37. "Laurent?"I nodded, a teensy bit alarmed by the expression in her black eyes. I pointed at my chest. "Dangermagnet, remember?"She shook her head again. "Tell me everything—start at the beginning."I glossed38 over the beginning, skipping the motorcycles and the voices, but telling her everything else rightup to today's misadventure. Alice didn't like my thin explanation about boredom39 and the cliffs, so Ihurried on to the strange flame I'd seen on the water and what I thought it meant. Her eyes narrowedalmost to slits40 at that part. It was strange to see her look so… so dangerous—like a vampire31. Iswallowed hard and went on with the rest about Harry41.
She listened to my story without interrupting. Occasionally, she would shake her head, and the crease42 inher forehead deepened until it looked like it was carved permanently43 into the marble of her skin. Shedidn't speak and, finally, I fell quiet, struck again by the borrowed grief at Harry's passing. I thought ofCharlie; he would be home soon. What condition would he be in?
"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" Alice murmured.
I laughed once—it was a slightly hysterical44 sound. "That was never the point, though, was it? It's not likeyou left for my benefit."Alice scowled45 at the floor for a moment. "Well… I guess I acted impulsively46 today. I probably shouldn'thave intruded47."I could feel the blood draining from my face. My stomach dropped. "Don't go, Alice," I whispered. Myfingers locked around the collar of her white shirt and I began to hyperventilate. "Please don't leave me."Her eyes opened wider. "All right," she said, enunciating each word with slow precision. "I'm not goinganywhere tonight. Take a deep breath."I tried to obey, though I couldn't quite locate my lungs.
She watched my face while I concentrated on my breathing. She waited till I was calmer to comment.
"You look like hell, Bella.""I drowned today," I reminded her.
"It goes deeper than that. You're a mess."I flinched48. "Look, I'm doing my best.""What do you mean?""It hasn't been easy. I'm working on it."She frowned. "I told him," she said to herself.
"Alice," I sighed. "What did you think you were going to find? I mean, besides me dead? Did you expectto find me skipping around and whistling show tunes49? You know me better than that.""I do. But I hoped.""Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market."The phone rang.
"That has to be Charlie," I said, staggering to my feet. I grabbed Alice's stone hand and dragged her withme to the kitchen. I wasn't about to let her out of my sight.
"Charlie?" I answered the phone.
"No, it's me," Jacob said.
"Jake!"Alice scrutinized50 my expression.
"Just making sure you were still alive," Jacob said sourly.
"I'm fine. I told you that it wasn't—""Yeah. I got it. 'Bye." Jacob hung up on me.
I sighed and let my head hang back, staring at the ceiling. "That's going to be a problem."Alice squeezed my hand. "They aren't excited I'm here.""Not especially. But it's none of their business anyway."Alice put her arm around me. "So what do we do now?" she mused51. She seemed to talk to herself for amoment. "Things to do. Loose ends to tie.""What things to do?"Her face was suddenly careful. "I don't know for sure… I need to see Carlisle."Would she leave so soon? My stomach dropped.
"Could you stay?" I begged. "Please? For just a little while. I've missed you so much." My voice broke.
"If you think that's a good idea." Her eyes were unhappy.
"I do. You can stay here—Charlie would love that.""I have a house, Bella."I nodded, disappointed but resigned. She hesitated, studying me.
"Well, I need to go get a suitcase of clothes, at the very least."I threw my arms around her. "Alice, you're the best!""And I think I'll need to hunt. Immediately," she added in a strained voice.
"Oops." I took a step back.
"Can you stay out of trouble for one hour?" she asked skeptically. Then, before I could answer, she heldup one finger and closed her eyes. Her face went smooth and blank for a few seconds.
And then her eyes opened and she answered her own question. "Yes, you'll be fine. For tonight,anyway." She grimaced. Even making faces, she looked like an angel.
"You'll come back?" I asked in a small voice.
"I promise—one hour."I glanced at the clock over the kitchen table. She laughed and leaned in quickly to kiss me on the cheek.
Then she was gone.
I took a deep breath. Alice would be back. I suddenly felt so much better.
I had plenty to do to keep myself busy while I waited. A shower was definitely first on the agenda. Isniffed my shoulders as I undressed, but I couldn't smell anything but the brine and seaweed scent of theocean. I wondered what Alice had meant about me smelling bad.
When I was cleaned up, I went back to the kitchen. I couldn't see any signs that Charlie 'lad eatenrecently, and he would probably be hungry when he got back. I hummed tunelessly to myself as I moved around the kitchen.
While Thursday's casserole rotated in the microwave, I made up the couch with sheets and an old pillow.
Alice wouldn't need it, but Charlie would need to see it. I was careful not to watch the clock. There wasno reason to start myself panicking; Alice had promised.
I hurried through my dinner, not tasting it—just feeling the ache as it slid down my raw throat. Mostly Iwas thirsty; I must have drunk a half gallon of water by the time I was finished. All the salt in my systemhad dehydrated me.
I went to go try to watch TV while I waited.
Alice was already there, sitting on her improvised52 bed. Her eyes were a liquid butterscotch. She smiledand patted the pillow. "Thanks.""You're early," I said, elated.
I sat down next to her and leaned my head on her shoulder. She put her cold arms around me andsighed.
"Bella. What are we going to do with you?""I don't know," I admitted. "I really have been trying my hardest.""I believe you."It was silent.
"Does—does he…" I took a deep breath. It was harder to say his name out loud, even though I wasable to think it now. "Does Edward know you're here?" I couldn't help asking. It was my pain, after all.
I'd deal with it when she was gone, I promised myself, and felt sick at the thought.
"No."There was only one way that could be true. "He's not with Carlisle and Esme?""He checks in every few months.""Oh." He must still be out enjoying his distractions53. I focused my curiosity on a safer topic. "You said youflew here… Where did you come from?""I was in Denali. Visiting Tanya's family.""Is Jasper here? Did he come with your'"She shook her head. "He didn't approve of my interfering54. We promised…" she trailed off, and then hertone changed. "And you think Charlie won't mind my being here?" she asked, sounding worried.
"Charlie thinks you're wonderful, Alice.""Well, we're about to find out."Sure enough, a few seconds later I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway. I jumped up and hurried toopen the door.
Charlie trudged55 slowly up the walk, his eyes on the ground and his shoulders slumped56. I walked forward to meet him; he didn't even see me until I hugged him around the waist. He embraced me back fiercely.
"I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad.""I'm really going to miss him," Charlie mumbled57.
"How's Sue doing?""She seems dazed, like she hasn't grasped it yet. Sam's staying with her…" The volume of his voice fadedin and out. "Those poor kids. Leah's just a year older than you, and Seth is only fourteen…" He shookhis head.
He kept his arms tight around me as he started toward the door again.
"Um, Dad?" I figured I'd better warn him. "You'll never guess who's here."He looked at me blankly. His head swiveled around, and he spied the Mercedes across the street, theporch light reflecting off the glossy58 black paint. Before he could react, Alice was in the doorway59.
"Hi, Charlie," she said in a subdued60 voice. "I'm sorry I came at such a bad time.""Alice Cullen?" he peered at the slight figure in front of him as if he doubted what his eyes were tellinghim. "Alice, is that you?""It's me," she confirmed. "I was in the neighborhood.""Is Carlisle…?""No, I'm alone."Both Alice and I knew he wasn't really asking about Carlisle. His arm tightened61 over my shoulder.
"She can stay here, can't she?" I pleaded. "I already asked her.""Of course," Charlie said mechanically. "We'd love to have you, Alice.""Thank you, Charlie. I know it's horrid62 timing63.""No, it's fine, really. I'm going to be really busy doing what I can for Harry's family; it will be nice forBella to have some company.""There's dinner for you on the table, Dad," I told him.
"Thanks, Bell." He gave me one more squeeze before he shuffled64 toward the kitchen.
Alice went back to the couch, and I followed her. This time, she was the one to pull me against hershoulder.
"You look tired.""Yeah," I agreed, and shrugged65. "Near-death experiences do that to me… So, what does Carlisle thinkof you being here?""He doesn't know. He and Esme were on a hunting trip. I'll hear from him in a few days, when he getsback." "You won't tell him, though… when he checks in again?" I asked. She knew I didn't mean Carlisle now.
"No. He'd bite my head off," Alice said grimly.
I laughed once, and then sighed.
I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to stay up all night talking to Alice. And it didn't make sense for me to betired, what with crashing on Jacob's couch all day. But drowning really had taken a lot out of me, and myeyes wouldn't stay open. I rested my head on her stone shoulder, and drifted into a more peacefuloblivion than I had any hope of.
I woke early, from a deep and dreamless sleep, feeling well-rested, but stiff. I was on the couch tuckedunder the blankets I'd laid out for Alice, and I could hear her and Charlie talking in the kitchen. Itsounded like Charlie was fixing her breakfast.
"How bad was it, Charlie?" Alice asked softly, and at first I thought they were talking about theClearwaters.
Charlie sighed. "Real bad.""Tell me about it. I want to know exactly what happened when we left."There was a pause while a cupboard door was closed and a dial on the stove was clicked off. I waited,cringing.
"I've never felt so helpless," Charlie began slowly. "I didn't know what to do. That first week—I thought Iwas going to have to hospitalize her. She wouldn't eat or drink, she wouldn't move. Dr. Gerandy wasthrowing around words like 'catatonic,' but I didn't let him up to see her. I was afraid it would scare her.""She snapped out of it though?""I had Renee come to take her to Florida. I just didn't want to be the one… if she had to go to a hospitalor something. I hoped being with her mother would help. But when we started packing her clothes, shewoke up with a vengeance66. I've never seen Bella throw a fit like that. She was never one for thetantrums, but, boy, did she fly into a fury. She threw her clothes everywhere and screamed that wecouldn't make her leave—and then she finally started crying. I thought that would be the turning point. Ididn't argue when she insisted on staying here… and she did seem to get better at first…"Charlie trailed off. It was hard listening to this, knowing how much pain I'd caused him.
"But?" Alice prompted.
"She went back to school and work, she ate and slept and did her homework. She answered whensomeone asked her a direct question. But she was… empty. Her eyes were blank. There were lots oflittle things—she wouldn't listen to music anymore; I found a bunch of CDs broken in the trash. She didn'tread; she wouldn't be in the same room when the TV was on, not that she watched it so much before. Ifinally figured it out—she was avoiding everything that might remind her of… him.
"We could hardly talk; I was so worried about saying something that would upset her—the littlest thingswould make her flinch—and she never volunteered anything. She would just answer if I asked hersomething.
"She was alone all the time. She didn't call her friends back, and after a while, they stopped calling.
"It was night of the living dead around here. I still hear her screaming in her sleep…"I could almost see him shuddering67. I shuddered68, too, remembering. And then I sighed. I hadn't fooled himat all, not for one second.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie," Alice said, voice glum69.
"It's not your fault." The way he said it made it perfectly clear that he was holding someone responsible.
"You were always a good friend to her.""She seems better now, though.""Yeah. Ever since she started hanging out with Jacob Black, I've noticed a real improvement. She hassome color in her cheeks when she comes home, some light in her eyes. She's happier." He paused, andhis voice was different when he spoke70 again. "He's a year or so younger than her, and I know she usedto think of him as a friend, but I think maybe it's something more now, or headed that direction, anyway."Charlie said this in a tone that was almost belligerent71. It was a warning, not for Alice, but for her to passalong. "Jake's old for his years," he continued, still sounding defensive. "He's taken care of his fatherphysically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally. It matured him. He's a good-looking kid,too—takes after his mom's side. He's good for Bella, you know," Charlie insisted.
"Then it's good she has him," Alice agreed.
Charlie sighed out a big gust72 of air, folding quickly to the lack of opposition73. "Okay, so I guess that'soverstating things. I don't know… even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and Iwonder if I've ever grasped how much pain she's really in It's not normal, Alice, and it… it frightens me.
Not normal at all. Not like someone… left her, but like someone died." His voice cracked.
It was like someone had died—like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest oftrue loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a wholefamily—the whole life that I'd chosen…Charlie went on in a hopeless tone. "I don't know if she's going to get over it—I'm not sure if it's in hernature to heal from something like this. She's always been such a constant little thing. She doesn't get pastthings, change her mind.""She's one of a kind," Alice agreed in a dry voice.
"And Alice…" Charlie hesitated. "Now, you know how fond I am of you, and I can tell that she's happyto see you, but… I'm a little worried about what your visit will do to her.""So am I, Charlie, so am I. I wouldn't have come if I'd had any idea. I'm sorry.""Don't apologize, honey. Who knows? Maybe it will be good for her.""I hope you're right."There was a long break while forks scraped plates and Charlie chewed. I wondered where Alice washiding the food.
"Alice, I have to ask you something," Charlie said awkwardly.
Alice was calm. "Go ahead.""He's not coming back to visit, too, is he?" I could hear the suppressed anger in Charlie's voice.
Alice answered in a soft, reassuring74 tone. "He doesn't even know I'm here. The last time I spoke withhim, he was in South America."I stiffened75 as I heard this new information, and listened harder.
"That's something, at least." Charlie snorted. "Well, I hope he's enjoying himself."For the first time, Alice's voice had a bit of steel in it. "I wouldn't make assumptions, Charlie." I knewhow her eyes would flash when she used that tone.
A chair scooted from the table, scraping loudly across the floor. I pictured Charlie getting up; there wasno way Alice would make that kind of noise. The faucet76 ran, splashing against a dish.
It didn't sound like they were going to say anything more about Edward, so I decided it was time towake up.
I turned over, bouncing against the springs to make them squeak77. Then I yawned loudly.
All was quiet in the kitchen.
"Alice?" I asked innocently; the soreness rasping in my throat added nicely to the charade79.
"I'm in the kitchen, Bella," Alice called, no hint in her voice that she suspected my eavesdropping80. But shewas good at hiding things like that.
Charlie had to leave then—he was helping81 Sue Clearwater with the funeral arrangements. It would havebeen a very long day without Alice. She never spoke about leaving, and I didn't ask her. I knew it wasinevitable, but I put it out of my mind.
Instead, we talked about her family—all but one.
Carlisle was working nights in Ithaca and teaching part time at Cornell. Esme was restoring a seventeenthcentury house, a historical monument, in the forest north of the city. Emmett and Rosalie had gone toEurope for a few months on another honeymoon82, but they were back now. Jasper was at Cornell, too,studying philosophy this time. And Alice had been doing some personal research, concerning theinformation I'd accidentally uncovered for her last spring. She'd successfully tracked down the asylumwhere she'd spent the last years of her human life. The life she had no memory of.
"My name was Mary Alice Brandon," she told me quietly. "I had a little sister named Cynthia. Herdaughter—my niece—is still alive in Biloxi.""Did you find out why they put you in… that place?" What would drive parents to that extreme? Even iftheir daughter saw visions of the future…She just shook her head, her topaz eyes thoughtful. "I couldn't find much about them. I went through allthe old newspapers on microfiche. My family wasn't mentioned often; they weren't part of the socialcircle that made the papers. My parents' engagement was there, and Cynthia's." The name fell uncertainlyfrom her tongue. "My birth was announced… and my death. I found my grave. I also filched85 myadmissions sheet from the old asylum84 archives. The date on the admission and the date on my tombstoneare the same."I didn't know what to say, and, after a short pause, Alice moved on to lighter86 topics.
The Cullens were reassembled now, with the one exception, spending Cornell's spring break in Denaliwith Tanya and her family. I listened too eagerly to even the most trivial news. She never mentioned theone I was most interested in, and for that I was grateful. It was enough to listen to the stories of the familyI'd once dreamed of belonging to.
Charlie didn't get back until after dark, and he looked more worn than he had the night before. He wouldbe headed back to the reservation first thing in the morning for Harry's funeral, so he turned in early. Istayed on the couch with Alice again.
Charlie was almost a stranger when he came down the stairs before the sun was up, wearing an old suitI'd never seen him in before. The jacket hung open; I guessed it was too tight to fasten the buttons. Histie was a bit wide for the current style. He tiptoed to the door, trying not to wake us up. I let him go,pretending to sleep, as Alice did on the recliner.
As soon as he was out the door, Alice sat up. Under the quilt, she was fully83 dressed.
"So, what are we doing today?" she asked.
"I don't know—do you see anything interesting happening?"She smiled and shook her head. "But it's still early."All the time I'd been spending in La Push meant a pile of things I'd been neglecting at home, and Idecided to catch up on my chores. I wanted to do something, anything that might make life easier forCharlie—maybe it would make him feel just a little better to come home to a clean, organized house. Istarted with the bathroom—it showed the most signs of neglect.
While I worked, Alice leaned against the doorjamb and asked nonchalant questions about my, well, ourhigh school friends and what they been up to since she'd left. Her face stayed casual and emotionless, butI sensed her disapproval87 when she realized how little I could tell her. Or maybe I just had a guiltyconscience after eavesdropping on her conversation with Charlie yesterday morning.
I was literally88 up to my elbows in Comet, scrubbing the floor of the bathtub, when the doorbell rang.
I looked to Alice at once, and her expression was perplexed89, almost worried, which was strange; Alicewas never taken by surprise.
"Hold on!" I shouted in the general direction of the front door, getting up and hurrying to the sink to rinsemy arms off.
"Bella," Alice said with a trace of frustration90 in her voice, "I have a fairly good guess who that might be,and I think I'd better step out.""Guess?" I echoed. Since when did Alice have to guess anything?
"If this is a repeat of my egregious91 lapse92 in foresight93 yesterday, then it's most likely Jacob Black or one ofhis… friends."I stared at her, putting it together. "You can't see werewolves?"She grimaced. "So it would seem." She was obviously annoyed by this fact—very annoyed.
The doorbell rang again—buzzing twice quickly and impatiently.
"You don't have go anywhere, Alice. You were here first."She laughed her silvery little laugh—it had a dark edge. "Trust me—it wouldn't be a good idea to haveme and Jacob Black in a room together."She kissed my cheek swiftly before she vanished through Charlie's door—and out his back window, nodoubt.
The doorbell rang again.
17 访客
我的访客一动不动地站在门厅中央，黑色的双眸直直地盯着我的脸。她显得异乎寻常的安静而白皙，整个人美得超乎人们的想象。
有那么几秒钟，我双膝大战，险些跌倒，于是便迅速倒向她。
砰然倒向她的同时我不禁叫道：“爱丽丝，啊，爱丽丝！”
我忘了她的身体是很硬实的，碰到她就像一头撞到了水泥墙上。
“贝拉？”她开口了，声音中好似有些解脱又有些迷惑，这种混合甚是奇怪。
我双手搂着她，大口大口地喘气，贪婪地感受她的体香。她的皮肤有着特殊的香味——既不是花香、辛香，也不是柑橘或麝香。这奇香就是举世的香水亦无法比拟，比我记忆中她的香味还要美妙。
不知何时我从喘气变成了抽泣——直到爱丽丝费力地把我扶到客厅的沙发，把我的上身挪到她的大腿上时，我才意识到自己在低泣。我感觉像蜷缩在清凉的石头上，躺得很舒适，因为这石头极好地贴着我的身体，仿佛是依人赋形的。我反复轻抚着我的背，等待我冷静下来。
“我.....对不起....我只是.....见到你.....太激动了！”我一边抽噎一边说。
“没事，贝拉，一切都好啦。”
“我知道。”说着便大哭起来。这一刻，一切似乎的确都好了。
爱丽丝叹了口气：“咳~我忘了你是情感多么丰富的人。”语气中有些责备的意味。
我抬起头，流泪的双眼望着爱丽丝。她直挺着脖子，离我很远，双唇紧闭，眸子像树脂一般黝黑。
“哦，”我意识到出了什么问题，紧跟着透了一口气。她很饥渴了，而我闻上去令她更有胃口。我已经有很久不用想这种事情了。“对不起。”
“是我自己不好。我已经很长时间没有捕猎了。不该让自己饿到这种程度的，可我今天太匆忙了。”说着，她瞪了我一眼，问道，“说到这事，你说说你是怎么还活着的？”
这话使我一下子清醒起来，也停止了哭泣。我立刻意识到发生了什么，明白了爱丽丝问什么会在这里。
我大声说道：“你看到我跌倒了。”
“不，”她眯起双眼说，“我看到你跳下去。”
我撅着嘴唇，感觉像是在努力寻找合理的解释，一个听上去不至于太蠢的解释。
爱丽丝摇摇头说：“我跟他说过这事迟早会发生，可他就是不信。‘贝拉保证过。’她在模仿他的语气，声音像极了，这突然的震动令我的血液猛然凝固了，一阵剧痛穿透全身。她又接着模仿他：“‘以后也别去找她了’，我们造成的伤害已经足够多了。”
“但是我不看并不意味着我不会看见，”她继续道，“我并没有监视你，贝拉，真的，我可以发誓。和你在一起是如此和谐.....看到你跳的那一刻，我想也没想，就上了飞机。我知道一定赶不及，但是要我什么都不做，我做不到，于是我就到这儿来了，心想也许可以帮帮查理。然后我就开车回来了。”说完，她迷惑地摇摇头，声音变得焦虑起来，“看到你沉没到水里后，我就等啊等啊，等你的头冒出来，但一直没等到。发生了什么事？你怎么能这样对待查理呢？还有我哥哥？你知不知道爱德华他.....”
一提到他的名字，我就打断爱丽丝。我已经明白她其实是误会了，刚没有打断? 且蛭 不短 缌灏忝烂畹纳 簦 还 衷诓坏貌徽庋 隽恕?
“爱丽丝，我没有企图自杀。”
她疑惑地瞪着我：“你是说你没有跳下悬崖？”
“我是跳了，不过.....”我扮了个鬼脸，说，“只是娱乐娱乐而已。”
她的表情突然变得僵硬了。
“我以前看过雅各布的一些朋友从悬崖上跳水，”我继续解释，“看起来好像...蛮有意思的，而且我当时又有些无聊……”
她一言不发，等着我继续说。
“我并没想到暴风雨会对水流造成什么影响。事实上，我当时压根儿就没多想水的问题。”
爱丽丝不信我的话。看得出来，她还是认为我是想自杀。我决定换个角度，说：“对了，既然你看到我跳了，为什么没看到雅各布呢？”
她的头扭到一边，显得心烦意乱。
我又说：“要是雅各布没有跟着跳下去，我的确很可能会被淹死的。好吧，不是可能，是肯定会被淹死，但是他跳下去了，把我拉上来，我猜他又把我拖到了岸上，虽然那时我已经没有了知觉。从我被淹到他抓住我，最多不过一分钟，你怎么没看见这些？”
她困惑的皱着眉头，问道：“有人把你拉出来了？”
“对啊，雅各布救了我。”
我好奇地看着她的脸上掠过复杂的表情和高深莫测的变化，不知是什么令她如此不安——是她不够完美的透视能力？我不能确定。这时她特意低下头来，靠近我，闻了闻我的肩膀。
我顿时僵住了。
“别这么荒唐。”她低声抱怨道，又靠近我闻了闻。
“你干吗呀？”
她没有回答我：“刚才和你在一起的是谁？听起来你们像是在争吵。”
“雅各布·布莱克。他可以说是……我最好的朋友，我觉得。他至少……”我想着雅格布生气的神情，完全溢于言表的样子，不知现在他与我而言到底算是什么呢？
爱丽丝点了点头，露出若有所思的神色。
“什么？”
“我不知道，”她答道，“我不知道这意味着什么。”
“这么说吧，至少我没有死。”
她眼珠子转了转，说：“他还以为你一个人可以生还，真是个傻瓜，从未见过这样致命的白痴。”
“可我的确活下来啦。”
她在想别的事情：“对了，如果水流湍急，你无法应付，雅格布怎么就能应付呢？”
“雅格布他……很健壮。”
她感觉到了我语气中的迟疑，眉毛向上挑了起来。
我紧抿嘴唇，脑子里在打转：这算是秘密呢还是不算？要是的话，我该对谁推心置腹，雅格布，还是爱丽丝？
保守秘密太难了。我决定了，既然雅格布知道了一切，为什么就不能告诉爱丽丝。
“是这样的，他是……是个狼人，”我急切地说道，“如果周围有吸血鬼，奎鲁特成员就会变成狼。他们早就认识卡莱尔，你那时和卡莱尔在一起么？”
爱丽丝呆呆地盯着我，过了一会儿才回过神来。“我猜这解释了我闻不到的气味，”她自言自语地说，“但是这也解释了我没看到的一切么？”她眉头紧锁，光洁的额头皱了起来。
“气味？”我重复道。
“你身上的气味很难闻，”她心不在焉地说，眉头依然紧锁着，“狼人？你确定么？”
“很确定，”我回答道，想起保罗和雅格布在路上打架的情景我情不自禁的感到畏缩，“我猜上一次狼人来到福克斯的时候你并没有和卡莱尔在一起吧？”
“不在一起，我还没有找到他。”爱丽丝还是沉浸在沉思中。突然，她双眼睁大，看着我，惊讶地说,“你最好的朋友是个狼人？”
我羞怯地点点头。
“有多久了？”
“他成为狼人也不过几个星期。”
她愤怒地看着我：“年轻的狼人？这样更糟！爱德华没错——你就像是引来各种危险地磁铁，不是说要你别自找麻烦吗？”
受她这一刺激，我不禁抱怨说：“狼人又没什么错。”
“不错，可是狼人一发怒就是另外一回事了。”她猛烈地摇着头说，“随你了，贝拉。吸血鬼一走，这个城里其他的人都会更好，可是你就不得不和你最先能找到的怪物待在一起了。”
我不想和爱丽丝争吵——我正在为她的到来而兴奋得发抖。我很高兴她真的在身边，我可以抚摸她大理石般的皮肤，听她风铃般的声音——可是她所想的全错了。
“不，爱丽丝，吸血鬼没有真正离去——反正不是所有的都离去了，问题就在这里。要不是狼人，维多利亚这会儿保准已经抓住我了，或者说，要不是因为雅各和他的朋友，劳伦可能会抢在维多利亚之前抓住我，我觉得是这样的....”
“维多利亚？”她问道，“劳伦？”
我点点头，她黑色的双眼中透露的神情令我有点儿吃惊。我指了指自己，说：“我会吸引危险的大磁铁，没忘吧？”
她又摇摇头，说：“告诉我这一切——从头说起。”
我掩盖了开头，省去了摩托车和各种声音的那段，但是之后直到今天的一切都一五一十告诉她了。爱丽丝对我说无聊和到悬崖边这些轻描淡写的解释很不满意，所以我就急着告诉她在水上看到了奇怪的火苗以及我以为那意味着什么。听到这里，她眼睛几乎眯成了一条线。她这个样子很怪......很危险的样子——像个吸血鬼。我努力压制着自己的感情，继续讲述我经历的折磨。
她一言不发地听我讲述，偶尔她会摇摇头，额头一直深锁着，直到后来，她的额头看上去就像大理石似的皮肤上刻了几道痕一样。她没有说话，最后我感到安静了，又一次为哈里的去世感到难过。我想起了卡莱尔，他很快就会回家了，不知他的境况怎样？
“我们离开你对你一点好处也没有，对吗？”爱丽丝含糊地问。
我笑了——这笑稍微有点儿歇斯底里的味道：“关键不在这里，对吗？这和你为我好而离开不一样。”
爱丽丝板着脸盯着地板，过了一会儿说：“咳，我觉得自己今天行事有些冲动，也许我不该介入的。”
我感觉到自己脸上的血液仿佛被抽干了，胃部有向下跌落的感觉。“别走，爱丽丝，”我轻声地说道，我的手指紧急抓住她白衬衣的领子，呼吸开始加快，“求你，别离开我。”
她双眼睁大了，“好吧，”她说，然后一字一顿地说，“今晚我哪儿也不去。你深呼吸一下。”
我想按她说的去做，可这会儿却好像找不着肺部在哪儿似的。
我集中注意力在呼吸，这时她紧盯着我，直到我情绪稳定下来才开始说话。
“你神情很糟，贝拉。”
“我今天险些被淹死了。”我提醒她。
“不止这个，你看上去比这个还糟。”
我开始感觉有些退缩了：“你瞧，我这不是在努力嘛。”
她皱了皱眉，自言自语地说：“我告诉过他的。”
“爱丽丝，”我叹了口气，“你以为你会发现什么？我是说，除了发现我死了还有什么？你期待我会上蹿下跳。吹口哨表演？你知道我不是那样的。”
“我知道，但我本来是期待的。”
“这么说来我不是唯一的傻瓜。”
电话铃响了。
“一定是查理。”说着，我摇摇摆摆地站了起来，抓住爱丽丝石头般冰冷的手，拖着她和我一起到了厨房。我不能让她离开我的视线。
“查理？”我接着电话。
“不，是我。”雅各布说。
“雅各！”
爱丽丝挑剔地审视着我的表情。
“就是打个电话确认一下你还没死。”雅各布坏坏地说。
“我没事，我告诉过你不是....”
“恩，明白了，再见。”
雅各布挂了我的电话。
我叹了口气，仰起头，望着天花板。“这会出问题的。”
爱丽丝握紧我的手说：“我来了，他们并不兴奋。”
“不是特别兴奋，不过这本身也和他们无多大关系。”
爱丽丝一手揽着我，若有所思地问：“咱们现在干什么呢？”她似乎在自言自语，：“有事要做，还有很多没处理完。”
“什么事要做？”
她的脸色突然变得小心翼翼：“我也不确定.....我必须见见卡莱尔。”
她这么快就要走？我的胃开始有向下跌落的感觉。
“你能留下来吗？”我请求道，“求你？就一会儿嘛。我一直很想念你。”我的声音开始变得断断续续。
“你要是觉得这主意不错，我就留下来吧。”她的双眼露出不快的神情。
“我觉得不错。你可以待在这里——查理一定会喜欢的。”
“我有房子，贝拉。”
我点点头，虽有些失望，不过也不再强求，她犹豫地看着我。
“不过，我至少得回去拿一箱子衣服过来吧。”
我一把抱住她：“爱丽丝你是最好的人！”
“还有我觉得必须马上觅食。”她声音中略带压抑。
“哦。”我退了一步。
“给我一小时吧？”她疑惑地问。我还没来得及作答，只见她举起一个手指，闭上眼睛。有几秒钟，她的脸变得很光滑而毫无表情。
然后她睁开眼睛，回答着自己的问题：“好吧，你会没事的，无论如何，至少今晚不会有事的。”她皱了皱眉，甚至向我做鬼脸，看起来像个天使。
“你会回来吗？”我小声问道。
“我发誓——一个小时。”
我看了一眼厨房里的钟。她笑了起来，靠近我迅速地亲了一下，然后离开了。
我深吸了一口气，想着爱丽丝会回来的，感觉好多了。
等她的这段时间里，我必须让自己忙起来，首先得冲个澡。我脱下衣服，闻了闻自己的肩膀，只闻到盐水和海藻的味道，不知道爱丽丝所我身上很难闻是指什么。
冲凉后我回到厨房，厨房的迹象表明查理最近没怎么吃东西。我一边哼着不成调的音乐，一边在厨房里走动。
我把星期四的培盘食物放进微波炉里加热，把沙发铺上垫单，放了个旧枕头。爱丽丝倒用不着这个，但是查理得看看。我小心翼翼地保持着不去看钟，免得让自己惊慌，爱丽丝保证过会回来的。
很快吃完了饭，没什么胃口——只是感觉到吞下食物时喉咙里很痛。最主要是口渴，到饭吃完的时候，我喝了足有半加仑的水，是体内的盐分引起了严重脱水。
我尝试着在等候的时候看看电视。
爱丽丝已经到了，坐在为她临时准备的床上，双眸像液体的奶油糖果。她拍拍枕头说：“谢谢。”
“你早到了。”我兴高采烈地说。
我在她身边坐下，头靠在她肩膀上。她用冰冷的手臂挽着我，叹了口气。
“贝拉，我们该对你怎么办呢？”
“我不知道，”我老实说道，“我真的很努力地尝试过了。”
“我相信你。”
我们沉默了。
“他——他是不是.....”我深吸了口气。虽然此刻我已经能想起来了，但是要叫出他的名字很困难。“爱德华是不是知道你在这儿？”我忍不住问道，毕竟这是我心中永远的痛。我对自己承诺说等她走了，我会解决这个问题，想到这个我又有些不舒服了。
“不知道。”
那么只有一种可能了：“他没有和卡莱尔和埃斯梅在一起？”
“他每几个月回来一次。”
“哦。”他一定还在外面享受他的生活，我转向另外一个更安全的问题，“你说你是飞过来的.....从哪儿飞来的呢？”
“从德纳利过来的，我在那儿拜访坦尼娅一家。”
“贾斯帕在这儿吗？他没和你一块儿来吗？”
她摇摇头：“他不赞成我介入。我们发过誓.....”说到这儿，她声音逐渐变小，然后一改口吻，“你觉得查理不介意我在这儿吗？”她略带担忧地问道。
“查理觉得你很棒呢，爱丽丝。”
“这个嘛，我们得慢慢看了再说呢。”
几秒钟之后，我听到摩托艇停靠在车道上的声音，跳了起来，去开门。
查理迈着沉重的步子慢慢走过来，双眼看着地面，肩膀无力地耸拉着。我走上前去迎接他，直到我抱住了他的腰他才注意到我，然后猛烈地抱住了我。
“哈里的事我很难过，爸爸。”
“我会很想念他的。”查理轻声说。
“苏怎么样？”
“她有些茫然，好像还没有接受事情的真相。山姆陪着她......”他的声音忽大忽小，“那些可怜的孩子，利亚比你大一岁，赛斯只有十四岁.....”他一边说一边摇摇头。说着，我们又向门口走去，他搂紧了我。
“对了，爸爸？”我想最好先给他打打预防针，“你怎么也想不到谁在这里呢。”
他面无表情地看看我，转过头去，看到街对面的奔驰车。走廊上的灯反射出黑色汽车的光亮。他还来不及做出反应，爱丽丝已经站在门口了。
“嗨，查理，”她用柔和的声音说道，“不好意思，我来得不是时候。”
“爱丽丝·卡伦？”他眯起眼看着面前的人，似乎不确定自己的眼睛，“爱丽丝，是你吗？”
“是我，”她说，“我从附近过来的。”
“卡莱尔他.....”
“不，我是一个人来的。”
我和爱丽丝都明白其实他想问的不是卡莱尔，他的手臂把我搂得更紧了。
“她可以待在这里，是不是？”我央求道，“我已经跟她说了。”
“当然可以，”查理机械地答道，“我们很高兴你能来，爱丽丝。”
“谢谢，查理，我知道这个时侯不太适合。”
“不，没关系，真的。接下来，我会很忙，要尽量为哈里家做些力所能及的事，贝拉有你做伴很好。”
“桌子给你留了饭，爸爸。”我说。
“谢谢，贝拉。”说着，他又搂了搂我，然后向厨房走去。
爱丽丝回到沙发上，我跟着她走过去。这次是她主动揽着我。让我把头靠在她的肩膀上。
“你看上去有些累。”
“是啊，”我答道，耸耸肩，“是因为在死亡边界挣扎所致.....对了，卡莱尔知道你来是什么态度？”
“他不知道，他和埃斯梅一起去捕食旅行了。等到他几天后回来，应该能收到他的信。”
“你不会告诉他.....不过要是他过来呢？”我问道，她知道我说的这个“他”不是指卡莱尔。
“不，他非得把我杀掉不可。”爱丽丝害怕地说道。
我不禁笑了，然后叹了口气。
我不想睡觉，想这样整晚和爱丽丝聊天。整天坐在雅各布的沙发上当然不会累，但是险些被淹死的经历的确令我精疲力尽，我的双眼已经睁不开了。我靠在她冰冷的肩膀上，头脑不再思考，享受着最美好的寂静。
我睡得很好，没有做梦，早早地醒来了，睡得很满足，只是身体有些僵硬了。我睡在铺着毯子，原本准备给爱丽丝用的沙发上，听到她和查理在厨房聊天，好像查理在给她准备早餐。
“情况到底有多坏，查理？”爱丽丝温和地问道。一开始我以为他们是在谈论克里尔沃特家族。
查理叹了口气：“情况很糟糕。”
“告诉我吧，我想知道我们走后到底发生了什么。”
这时我听到关橱柜的声音和微波炉的计时表走动的声音，他们的谈话暂停了。我在等待，心里有些害怕。
“我从未觉得这么无助，”查理慢慢说道，“当时我不知该怎么办。第一个星期——我觉得必须送她到医院里去。她不吃不喝，也不走动。杰兰迪医生说是‘紧张性精神症’，但是我没让他来看她，我怕会吓到她。”
“不过她振作起来了？”
“我让蕾妮带她去佛罗里达，我不希望自己.....如果她不得不去医院或者发生什么别的事情。我希望和她母亲在一起会好一些。但是我们开始打点衣服行装时，她醒过来了，很愤怒。我从未见过贝拉这样大发脾气。她从来不发脾气，但是天哪，她那天非常生气，她把衣服扔了一地，说我们无论如何也不能让她离开——最后她开始哭泣，我想这是个转折点。既然她希望待在这里，我也不和她争执，一开始，她看上去的确好起来了.....”
查理降低了声音，听到他说这些，我很难过，因为我知道自己给他带来了巨大的痛苦。
“但是？”爱丽丝问道。
“她回到学校去读书，吃饭、睡觉、上学、做功课。别人问她直接的问题时，她会回答。但是她....内心很空洞。她的眼神很空泛。还有很多细节——她不再听音乐了，在垃圾箱里我发现了很多被破坏的CD；她不再看书了；不再待在开着电视的房间，不像以前一样喜欢看电视了。最后我意识到——她是在尽量回避任何可能令自己想到他的事情。
“我们几乎无话可说，我很担心说错话令她难过——一点小事就可能令她退缩——她也从未主动和我聊起什么。只有我问到时，她才回答。
她一直很孤独，不给朋友打电话，有一阵子根本就不打电话。夜晚更是空寂，我还记得她夜里睡梦中哭喊的声音.....”
我几乎能看到他在战栗，想起这些，我自己也在战栗，然后我叹了口气。事实上，我根本就骗不过他的眼睛，一点也骗不过。
“真抱歉，查理。”爱丽丝忧伤地说道。
“这不是你的错。”他说话的语气暗含着肯定有某个人该对这事负责任的意思，“你一直是她的好朋友。”
“不过她现在看来好多了。”
“是好多了，自从她开始和雅各布·布莱克约会以来，我注意到她真的好多了。她回到家里，脸上又有了喜色，眼睛开始又有了生气，变得更快乐了。”他停顿了一下，声音略微有些变化，“他比她小一岁的样子，我知道她原本一直当他是朋友，但是现在可能不单是朋友了，或者无论怎么说，是朝那个方向发展的。”查理几乎是带着防御的意味说出这些的。这是个警告，不是给爱丽丝的，而是希望爱丽丝传达给某人的，“雅各布比他的年纪更显老，”他继续用带着防备的语气说道，“他在生活上照顾着他的父亲，就像是贝拉在心理上照顾她的母亲一样，这是他变得成熟。他长得很帅气——像他母亲。他很配贝拉，你明白的。”
“那么她和他在一起很好。”爱丽丝表示同意。
查理长长地叹了口气，由于爱丽丝没有反对，很快说道：“的确，我有些言过其实了。我不太确定.....即便是和雅各布在一起，我还是常常看到她的眼神中有着特殊的神情，我可能从来没有体味到她经历的痛苦。这不同寻常，爱丽丝，这.....这令我感到害怕。根本不正常，不像是某人.....离开了她，而像是这个人死去了。”他的声音有点儿失控了。
不错，我曾经的确感觉像是某个人死了——像我自己死了。这种感觉不单单是对真爱失去信心了，这好像还不足以置人于死地。这种感觉是好像失去了整个未来，整个家庭——失去了我所选择的整个人生.....
查理继续绝望地说道：“我不知道她是否能挺过来——不知道依她的性格，是否可以从这样的痛苦中走出来。她一直是个坚定不移的小家伙，不能忘却过去，不会改变想法。”
“她的确是这种人。”爱丽丝应答道，声音有些干涩。
“爱丽丝.....”查理犹豫了一下，“现在你知道我对你很有好感，我也相信她很高兴见到你....不过我有些担心你来这里会对她产生影响。”
“我也有同样的担心，查理。我要是知道情况是这样也不会来的，抱歉。”
“亲爱的，别说抱歉的话。谁知道呢，说不定会带来好的影响呢。”
“但愿如此。”
接着只有他们用餐的刀叉声和查理吃东西的声音，我在想不知爱丽丝把食物藏在哪里了。
“爱丽丝，我想问你点事情。”查理笨拙地说。
爱丽丝很镇定：“你说吧。”
“他不会也来这里吧？”我能听出查理语气中压抑着的气愤。
爱丽丝柔和地、肯定地回答：“他甚至不知道我在这里。我最近一次和他聊天时，他在南美。”
听到这个消息，我顿时僵住了，努力听他们下面说什么。
“这样倒好，”查理哼着鼻子说，“当然了，我希望他开心。”
这时，爱丽丝的语气变得更坚定了：“这个我倒不作想当然的猜测，查理。”我能想象她用这种语气时，眼睛一眨一眨的样子。
我听到一把椅子被迅速移开，和地面摩擦，发出刺耳的声音。我想是查理站了起来，爱丽丝不可能弄出这样的声音。接着听到自来水龙头打开了，冲洗着盘子。
看来他们不会继续讨论爱德华了，于是我决定起床。
我翻了个身，用身体敲打着沙发的弹簧，弹簧发出尖锐的嘎吱声，然后我大声打了个哈欠。
厨房里很安静。
我伸了个懒腰，喉咙里发出轻轻的声音。
“爱丽丝？”我假装什么也没听到，叫着她的名字，声音有些干涩，正好伪装成刚醒来的样子。
“我在厨房，贝拉。”爱丽丝叫道，一点也没有怀疑我听到他们的谈话，不过她隐瞒这些事情很有一套的。
查理不得不走了——他要帮助苏·克里尔沃特安排葬礼的事情。要不是爱丽丝在这里，今天对我而言又是漫长的一天。她一直未说要离开，我也没问她。我知道她离开是必然的，但是不愿去想它。
我们倒是聊起了她家——除了一个人，其他所有人都聊到了。
卡莱尔在伊萨卡岛上夜班，同时在科内尔兼职做教师。埃斯梅正在修缮一幢十七世纪的房子，是座历史纪念馆，在城北的森林区。埃美特和罗莎莉又去欧洲度另一个蜜月，去了几个月，已经回来了。贾斯帕也在科内尔，在那儿修哲学课程。爱丽丝一直在作个人研究，研究我去年春天碰巧告诉她的事情。她很幸运找到了那个庇护所，她曾经在那里度过了人生的最后几年，但那段生活她已经没有记忆了。
“我叫玛丽·爱丽丝·布兰登，”她很快告诉我，“有个妹妹叫辛西亚。她的女儿——也就是我的侄女——现在还活着，在比洛克西。”
“你知道他们为什么要把你送到……那里么？是什么让他们居然采取这样极端的措施？而你当时是对未来满怀期望的……”
她只是摇摇头，浅黄褐色的双眼露出若有所思的神情：“我没有找到很多关于他们的情况。我查阅了所有旧报纸的缩微平片资料，里面并未频繁的提到我家。他们不是报纸常常报道的那个圈子里的人。我父母亲的婚约在那儿，辛西亚的婚约也在。”她不太确定地提起辛西亚的名字，“其中也宣布了我的出生……和我的去世。我找到了自己的坟墓，甚至还从那个老庇护所的档案中偷到了入学通知单，通知单上的日期和我墓碑上的日期是一天。”
我不知该说些什么，我们沉默了一会儿，换了个更轻松的话题。
卡伦一家现在又团聚了，只有一个人没回来，正在德纳利和坦尼娅共度科内尔的春季休假。我倾听着每个细节，听她讲讲这个家庭的琐事我已经很满足了，我曾经梦想着成为这个家庭的一员。
查理天黑后才回来，比头一天晚上看上去更加疲惫了。他明天一早还要去为哈里的葬礼安排预定的事，所以他回来得早了点，我和爱丽丝在沙发上休息。
第二天太阳出来了，查理从楼梯上走下来，他看上去全然像个陌生人，穿着一套我从未见过的旧西服。上衣没有扣，我想是扣上太紧的缘故，领带配这个样式的西服有点嫌大。他踮着脚尖走到门边，尽量不吵醒我们。我没有出声，假装睡着了，爱丽丝在躺椅上也假装在睡觉。
他一出门，爱丽丝就坐了起来，仍然盖着被子，不过她已经穿好衣服了。
“那么，你今天准备做什么呢？”她问。
“不知道——你想到什么有趣的事了么？”
她笑笑，摇了摇头：“不过还早呢。”
在拉普西经历的一切也许使我忽略了家里的一堆事情，我决定干点家务活。我想做点什么，让查理的日子好过些——让他回来看到一个干净、整齐的家，或许这能让他感觉好点。我从卫生间开始了——这里被忽略的事情最多。
我做家务时，爱丽丝就靠在门框上，问我一些无关紧要的问题，诸如我的，不对，是我们的高中朋友，问我自从她离开后，这些朋友都怎么样了。她的脸上还是一副随意的、毫无感情的样子，但是我看得出她对我简单的回答不太满意，或许是我对昨天偷听了她和查理的谈话有些内疚吧。
我正把袖子挽过胳膊肘，擦洗卫生间的地板，这时门铃响了。
我立刻转向爱丽丝，她的表情有些不知所措，像是很焦虑，令我感到奇怪，爱丽丝很少会对事情这么惊讶。
“别挂！”我朝门的方向叫道，站起身来，到水槽旁把手冲洗干净。
“贝拉，”爱丽丝有些沮丧，“我能猜到大概是谁，我想我应该回避一下。”
“猜？”我重复她的话，什么时候开始爱丽丝需要去猜测事情了？
“如果情况又像我昨天破天荒地预见到的一些事情一样，那么很有可能是雅各布·布莱克，或者是他的——朋友。”
我看着她，愣愣地说：“你看不见狼人吗？”
她扮了个鬼脸，“好像是这样。”显然这令她不安——非常不安。
门铃又响了，一连响了两次，听得出来来人有些焦急。
“你哪儿也不用去，爱丽丝，是你先到的。”
她发出银铃般清脆的笑声——但是笑声中有些忧郁的味道。“相信我——让我和雅各布·布莱克共处一室绝不是明智之举。”
她很快亲了一下我的脸蛋，然后从查理的房间门进去了，无疑地会从查理的房间后门离开的。
门铃又响了。
收听单词发音 |
1
unnaturally
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| adv.违反习俗地；不自然地；勉强地；不近人情地 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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mingling
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| adj.混合的 | |
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gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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inhale
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| v.吸入(气体等)，吸(烟) | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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musk
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| n.麝香, 能发出麝香的各种各样的植物，香猫 | |
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sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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bawled
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的过去式和过去分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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exuberant
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| adj.充满活力的；（植物）繁茂的 | |
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disapproving
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| adj.不满的，反对的v.不赞成( disapprove的现在分词 ) | |
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puffed
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| adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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14
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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attuned
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| v.使协调( attune的过去式和过去分词 )；调音 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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grimaced
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| v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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sniffed
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| v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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22
sniffing
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| n.探查法v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的现在分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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idiocy
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| n.愚蠢 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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28
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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gnawed
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| 咬( gnaw的过去式和过去分词 )； （长时间） 折磨某人； （使）苦恼； （长时间）危害某事物 | |
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vampires
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| n.吸血鬼( vampire的名词复数 )；吸血蝠；高利贷者；（舞台上的）活板门 | |
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31
vampire
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| n.吸血鬼 | |
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32
creasing
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| （使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的现在分词 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹； 挑檐 | |
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wincing
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| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的现在分词 ) | |
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defensive
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| adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的 | |
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glowered
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| v.怒视( glower的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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grumbled
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| 抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声 | |
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37
hissed
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| 发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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38
glossed
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| v.注解( gloss的过去式和过去分词 )；掩饰（错误）；粉饰；把…搪塞过去 | |
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boredom
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| n.厌烦，厌倦，乏味，无聊 | |
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40
slits
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| n.狭长的口子，裂缝( slit的名词复数 )v.切开，撕开( slit的第三人称单数 )；在…上开狭长口子 | |
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41
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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42
crease
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| n.折缝，褶痕，皱褶；v.(使)起皱 | |
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43
permanently
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| adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地 | |
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44
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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45
scowled
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46
impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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intruded
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| n.侵入的，推进的v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的过去式和过去分词 )；把…强加于 | |
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48
flinched
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49
tunes
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| n.曲调，曲子( tune的名词复数 )v.调音( tune的第三人称单数 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调 | |
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50
scrutinized
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| v.仔细检查，详审( scrutinize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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52
improvised
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| a.即席而作的,即兴的 | |
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53
distractions
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| n.使人分心的事[人]( distraction的名词复数 )；娱乐，消遣；心烦意乱；精神错乱 | |
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54
interfering
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| adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词 | |
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55
trudged
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| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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56
slumped
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| 大幅度下降，暴跌( slump的过去式和过去分词 )； 沉重或突然地落下[倒下] | |
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mumbled
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| 含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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61
tightened
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| 收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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timing
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| n.时间安排，时间选择 | |
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shuffled
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| v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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68
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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glum
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| adj.闷闷不乐的，阴郁的 | |
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70
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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belligerent
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| adj.好战的，挑起战争的；n.交战国，交战者 | |
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gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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74
reassuring
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| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
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75
stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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faucet
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| n.水龙头 | |
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squeak
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| n.吱吱声，逃脱；v.（发出）吱吱叫，侥幸通过；（俚）告密 | |
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78
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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79
charade
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| n.用动作等表演文字意义的字谜游戏 | |
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eavesdropping
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| n. 偷听 | |
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81
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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82
honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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83
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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84
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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85
filched
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| v.偷（尤指小的或不贵重的物品）( filch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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86
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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disapproval
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| n.反对，不赞成 | |
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88
literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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89
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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90
frustration
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| n.挫折，失败，失效，落空 | |
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91
egregious
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| adj.非常的，过分的 | |
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92
lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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93
foresight
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| n.先见之明，深谋远虑 | |
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