When my childhood was over, and I had just left school, my father called a council to decide upon my profession. Most of his friends considered that the life of culture was very exacting2 in toil3, time, and money: a life only for fortune’s favourites; whereas our resources were quite narrow, and urgently called for relief. If I were to take up some ordinary handicraft, I should be making my own living straight off, instead of eating my father’s meat at my age; and before long my earnings4 would be a welcome contribution.
So the next step was to select the most satisfactory of the handicrafts; it must be one quite easy to acquire, respectable, inexpensive as regards plant, and fairly profitable. Various suggestions were made, according to the taste and knowledge of the councillors; but my father turned to my mother’s brother, supposed to be an excellent statuary, and said to him: ‘With you here, it would be a sin to prefer any other craft; take the lad, regard him as your charge, teach him to handle, match, and grave your marble; he will do well enough; you know he has the ability.’ This he had inferred from certain tricks I used to play with wax. When I got out of school, I used to scrape off the wax from my tablets and work it into cows, horses, or even men and women, and he thought I did it creditably; my masters used to cane5 me for it, but on this occasion it was taken as evidence of a natural faculty6, and my modelling gave them good hopes of my picking up the art quickly.
As soon as it seemed convenient for me to begin, I was handed over to my uncle, and by no means reluctantly; I thought I should find it amusing, and be in a position to impress my companions; they should see me chiselling8 gods and making little images for myself and my favourites. The usual first experience of beginners followed: my uncle gave me a chisel7, and told me to give a gentle touch to a plaque9 lying on the bench: ‘Well begun is half done,’ said he, not very originally. In my inexperience I brought down the tool too hard, and the plaque broke; he flew into a rage, picked up a stick which lay handy, and gave me an introduction to art which might have been gentler and more encouraging; so I paid my footing with tears.
I ran off, and reached home still howling and tearful, told the story of the stick, and showed my bruises10. I said a great deal about his brutality11, and added that it was all envy: he was afraid of my being a better sculptor12 than he. My mother was very angry, and abused her brother roundly; as for me, I fell asleep that night with my eyes still wet, and sorrow was with me till the morning.
So much of my tale is ridiculous and childish. What you have now to hear, gentlemen, is not so contemptible13, but deserves an attentive14 hearing; in the words of Homer,
To me in slumber15 wrapt a dream divine Ambrosial16 night conveyed,
a dream so vivid as to be indistinguishable from reality; after all these years, I have still the figures of its persons in my eyes, the vibration17 of their words in my ears; so clear it all was.
Two women had hold of my hands, and were trying vehemently19 and persistently20 to draw me each her way; I was nearly pulled in two with their contention21; now one would prevail and all but get entire possession of me, now I would fall to the other again, All the time they were exchanging loud protests: ‘He is mine, and I mean to keep him;’ ‘Not yours at all, and it is no use your saying he is.’ One of them seemed to be a working woman, masculine looking, with untidy hair, horny hands, and dress kilted up; she was all powdered with plaster, like my uncle when he was chipping marble. The other had a beautiful face, a comely22 figure, and neat attire23. At last they invited me to decide which of them I would live with; the rough manly24 one made her speech first.
‘Dear youth, I am Statuary — the art which you yesterday began to learn, and which has a natural and a family claim upon you. Your grandfather’ (naming my mother’s father) ‘and both your uncles practised it, and it brought them credit. If you will turn a deaf ear to this person’s foolish cajolery, and come and live with me, I promise you wholesome25 food and good strong muscles; you shall never fear envy, never leave your country and your people to go wandering abroad, and you shall be commended not for your words, but for your works.
‘Let not a slovenly26 person or dirty clothes repel27 you; such were the conditions of that Phidias who produced the Zeus, of Polyclitus who created the Hera, of the much-lauded28 Myron, of the admired Praxiteles; and all these are worshipped with the Gods. If you should come to be counted among them, you will surely have fame enough for yourself through all the world, you will make your father the envy of all fathers, and bring your country to all men’s notice.’ This and more said Statuary, stumbling along in a strange jargon29, stringing her arguments together in a very earnest manner, and quite intent on persuading me. But I can remember no more; the greater part of it has faded from my memory. When she stopped, the other’s turn came.
‘And I, child, am Culture, no stranger to you even now, though you have yet to make my closer acquaintance. The advantages that the profession of a sculptor will bring with it you have just been told; they amount to no more than being a worker with your hands, your whole prospects30 in life limited to that; you will be obscure, poorly and illiberally31 paid, mean-spirited, of no account outside your doors; your influence will never help a friend, silence an enemy, nor impress your countrymen; you will be just a worker, one of the masses, cowering32 before the distinguished33, truckling to the eloquent34, living the life of a hare, a prey35 to your betters. You may turn out a Phidias or a Polyclitus, to be sure, and create a number of wonderful works; but even so, though your art will be generally commended, no sensible observer will be found to wish himself like you; whatever your real qualities, you will always rank as a common craftsman36 who makes his living with his hands.
‘Be governed by me, on the other hand, and your first reward shall be a view of the many wondrous37 deeds and doings of the men of old; you shall hear their words and know them all, what manner of men they were; and your soul, which is your very self, I will adorn38 with many fair adornments, with self-mastery and justice and reverence39 and mildness, with consideration and understanding and fortitude40, with love of what is beautiful, and yearning41 for what is great; these things it is that are the true and pure ornaments42 of the soul. Naught43 shall escape you either of ancient wisdom or of present avail; nay44, the future too, with me to aid, you shall foresee; in a word, I will instill into you, and that in no long time, all knowledge human and divine.
‘This penniless son of who knows whom, contemplating45 but II now a vocation46 so ignoble47, shall soon be admired and envied of all, with honour and praise and the fame of high achievement, respected by the high-born and the affluent48, clothed as I am clothed’ (and here she pointed49 to her own bright raiment), ‘held worthy50 of place and precedence; and if you leave your native land, you will be no unknown nameless wanderer; you shall wear my marks upon you, and every man beholding51 you shall touch his neighbour’s arm and say, That is he.
‘And if some great moment come to try your friends or country, then shall all look to you. And to your lightest word the many shall listen open-mouthed, and marvel52, and count you happy in your eloquence53, and your father in his son. ’Tis said that some from mortal men become immortal54; and I will make it truth in you; for though you depart from life yourself, you shall keep touch with the learned and hold communion with the best. Consider the mighty55 Demosthenes, whose son he was, and whither I exalted56 him; consider Aeschines; how came a Philip to pay court to the cymbal-woman’s brat18? how but for my sake? Dame57 Statuary here had the breeding of Socrates himself; but no sooner could he discern the better part, than he deserted58 her and enlisted59 with me; since when, his name is on every tongue.
‘You may dismiss all these great men, and with them all glorious deeds, majestic60 words, and seemly looks, all honour, repute, praise, precedence, power, and office, all lauded eloquence and envied wisdom; these you may put from you, to gird on a filthy61 apron62 and assume a servile guise63; then will you handle crowbars and graving tools, mallets and chisels64; you will be bowed over your work, with eyes and thoughts bent65 earthwards, abject66 as abject can be, with never a free and manly upward look or aspiration67; all your care will be to proportion and fairly drape your works; to proportioning and adorning68 yourself you will give little heed69 enough, making yourself of less account than your marble.’
I waited not for her to bring her words to an end, but rose up and spoke70 my mind; I turned from that clumsy mechanic woman, and went rejoicing to lady Culture, the more when I thought upon the stick, and all the blows my yesterday’s apprenticeship71 had brought me. For a time the deserted one was wroth, with clenched72 fists and grinding teeth; but at last she stiffened73, like another Niobe, into marble. A strange fate, but I must request your belief; dreams are great magicians, are they not?
Then the other looked upon me and spoke:—‘For this justice done me,’ said she, ‘you shall now be recompensed; come, mount this car’— and lo, one stood ready, drawn74 by winged steeds like Pegasus — ‘that you may learn what fair sights another choice would have cost you.’ We mounted, she took the reins75 and drove, and I was carried aloft and beheld76 towns and nations and peoples from the East to the West; and methought I was sowing like Triptolemus; but the nature of the seed I cannot call to mind — only this, that men on earth when they saw it gave praise, and all whom I reached in my flight sent me on my way with blessings77.
When she had presented these things to my eyes, and me to my admirers, she brought me back, no more clad as when my flight began; I returned, methought, in glorious raiment. And finding my father where he stood waiting, she showed him my raiment, and the guise in which I came, and said a word to him upon the lot which they had come so near appointing for me. All this I saw when scarce out of my childhood; the confusion and terror of the stick, it may be, stamped it on my memory.
‘Good gracious,’ says some one, before I have done, ‘what a longwinded lawyer’s vision!’ ‘This,’ interrupts another, ‘must be a winter dream, to judge by the length of night required; or perhaps it took three nights, like the making of Heracles. What has come over him, that he babbles78 such puerilities? memorable79 things indeed, a child in bed, and a very ancient, worn-out dream! what stale frigid80 stuff! does he take us for interpreters of dreams?’ Sir, I do not. When Xenophon related that vision of his which you all know, of his father’s house on fire and the rest, was it just by way of a riddle81? was it in deliberate ineptitude82 that he reproduced it? a likely thing in their desperate military situation, with the enemy surrounding them! no, the relation was to serve a useful purpose.
Similarly I have had an object in telling you my dream. It is that the young may be guided to the better way and set themselves to Culture, especially any among them who is recreant83 for fear of poverty, and minded to enter the wrong path, to the ruin of a nature not all ignoble. Such an one will be strengthened by my tale, I am well assured; in me he will find an apt example; let him only compare the boy of those days, who started in pursuit of the best and devoted84 himself to Culture regardless of immediate85 poverty, with the man who has now come back to you, as high in fame, to put it at the lowest, as any stonecutter of them all.
H.
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1
autobiography
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| n.自传 | |
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2
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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earnings
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| n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得 | |
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cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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7
chisel
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| n.凿子；v.用凿子刻，雕，凿 | |
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chiselling
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| n.錾v.凿，雕，镌( chisel的现在分词 ) | |
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plaque
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| n.饰板，匾，(医)血小板 | |
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bruises
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| n.瘀伤，伤痕，擦伤( bruise的名词复数 ) | |
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brutality
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| n.野蛮的行为，残忍，野蛮 | |
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sculptor
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| n.雕刻家，雕刻家 | |
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contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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ambrosial
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| adj.美味的 | |
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vibration
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| n.颤动，振动；摆动 | |
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brat
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| n.孩子；顽童 | |
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vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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persistently
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| ad.坚持地；固执地 | |
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contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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slovenly
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| adj.懒散的，不整齐的，邋遢的 | |
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repel
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| v.击退，抵制，拒绝，排斥 | |
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lauded
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| v.称赞，赞美( laud的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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jargon
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| n.术语，行话 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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illiberally
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| adv.吝啬地，小气地 | |
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cowering
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| v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的现在分词 ) | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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craftsman
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| n.技工，精于一门工艺的匠人 | |
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wondrous
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| adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地 | |
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adorn
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| vt.使美化，装饰 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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46
vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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ignoble
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| adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的 | |
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affluent
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| adj.富裕的，富有的，丰富的，富饶的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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52
marvel
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| vi.(at)惊叹vt.感到惊异；n.令人惊异的事 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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54
immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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dame
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| n.女士 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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guise
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| n.外表，伪装的姿态 | |
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chisels
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| n.凿子，錾子( chisel的名词复数 )；口凿 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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aspiration
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| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
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adorning
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| 修饰，装饰物 | |
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heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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70
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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apprenticeship
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| n.学徒身份；学徒期 | |
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72
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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76
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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77
blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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78
babbles
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| n.胡言乱语( babble的名词复数 )；听不清的声音；乱哄哄的说话声v.喋喋不休( babble的第三人称单数 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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frigid
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| adj.寒冷的，凛冽的；冷淡的；拘禁的 | |
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81
riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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82
ineptitude
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| n.不适当；愚笨，愚昧的言行 | |
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83
recreant
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| n.懦夫；adj.胆怯的 | |
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84
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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85
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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