VIII The Second Confession

Suddenly the sound of the priest’s footsteps roused me from this reverie.

“Good morning to you,” he said as he smoothed his grey hair with his hand. “What can I do for you?”

I besought¹ him to give me his blessing², and then kissed his small, wizened³ hand with great fervour. After I had explained to him my errand he said nothing, but moved away towards the ikons, and began to read the exhortation⁴: whereupon I overcame my shame, and told him all that was in my heart. Finally he laid his hands upon my head, and pronounced in his even, resonant⁵ voice the words: “My son, may the blessing of Our Heavenly Father be upon thee, and may He always preserve thee in faithfulness, loving- kindness, and meekness⁶. Amen.”

I was entirely⁷ happy. Tears of joy coursed down my face as I kissed the hem⁸ of his cassock and then raised my head again. The face of the priest expressed perfect tranquillity⁹. So keenly did I feel the joy of reconciliation¹⁰ that, fearing in any way to dispel¹¹ it, I took hasty leave of him, and, without looking to one side of me or the other (in order that my attention might not be distracted), left the grounds and re-entered the rickety, battered¹² drozhki. Yet the joltings of the vehicle and the variety of objects which flitted past my eyes soon dissipated that feeling, and I became filled with nothing but the idea that the priest must have thought me the finest-spirited young man he had ever met, or ever would meet, in the whole of his life. Indeed, I reflected, there could not be many such as myself — of that I felt sure, and the conviction produced in me the kind of complacency which craves¹³ for self-communication to another. I had a great desire to unbosom myself to some one, and as there was no one else to speak to, I addressed myself to the cabman.

“Was I very long gone? “ I asked him.

“ No, not very long,” he replied. He seemed to have grown more cheerful under the influence of the sunshine. “Yet now it is a good while past my horse’s feeding-time. You see, I am a night cabman.”

“Well, I only seemed to myself to be about a minute,” I went on. “Do you know what I went there for?” I added, changing my seat to the well of the drozhki, so as to be nearer the driver.

“What business is it of mine? I drive a fare where he tells me to go,” he replied.

“Yes, but, all the same, what do you think I went there for?” I persisted.

“I expect some one you know is going to be buried there, so you went to see about a plot for the grave.”

“No, no, my friend. Still, DO you know what I went there for?”

“No, of course I cannot tell, barin,” he repeated.

His voice seemed to me so kind that I decided¹⁴ to edify¹⁵ him by relating the cause of my expedition, and even telling him of the feeling which I had experienced.

“Shall I tell you?” I said. “Well, you see,”— and I told him all, as well as inflicted¹⁶ upon him a description of my fine sentiments. To this day I blush at the recollection.

“Well, well!” said the cabman non-committally, and for a long while afterwards he remained silent and motionless, except that at intervals¹⁷ he adjusted the skirt of his coat each time that it was jerked from beneath his leg by the joltings of his huge boot on the drozhki’s step. I felt sure that he must be thinking of me even as the priest had done. That is to say, that he must be thinking that no such fine-spirited young man existed in the world as I. Suddenly he shot at me:

“I tell you what, barin. You ought to keep God’s affairs to yourself.”

“What?” I said.

“Those affairs of yours — they are God’s business,” he repeated, mumbling¹⁸ the words with his toothless lips.

“No, he has not understood me,” I thought to myself, and said no more to him till we reached home.

Although it was not my original sense of reconciliation and reverence¹⁹, but only a sort of complacency at having experienced such a sense, that lasted in me during the drive home (and that, too, despite the distraction²⁰ of the crowds of people who now thronged²¹ the sunlit streets in every direction), I had no sooner reached home than even my spurious complacency was shattered, for I found that I had not the forty copecks wherewith to pay the cabman! To the butler, Gabriel, I already owed a small debt, and he refused to lend me any more. Seeing me twice run across the courtyard in quest of the money, the cabman must have divined the reason, for, leaping from his drozhki, he — notwithstanding that he had seemed so kind — began to bawl²² aloud (with an evident desire to punch my head) that people who do not pay for their cab-rides are swindlers.

None of my family were yet out of bed, so that, except for the servants, there was no one from whom to borrow the forty copecks. At length, on my most sacred, sacred word of honour to repay (a word to which, as I could see from his face, he did not altogether trust), Basil so far yielded to his fondness for me and his remembrance of the many services I had done him as to pay the cabman. Thus all my beautiful feelings ended in smoke. When I went upstairs to dress for church and go to Communion with the rest I found that my new clothes had not yet come home, and so I could not wear them. Then I sinned headlong. Donning my other suit, I went to Communion in a sad state of mental perturbation, and filled with complete distrust of all my finer impulses.

1 besought   

v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词)

参考例句：

• The prisoner besought the judge for mercy/to be merciful. 囚犯恳求法官宽恕[乞求宽大]。 来自辞典例句
• They besought him to speak the truth. 他们恳求他说实话. 来自辞典例句

2 blessing   

n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿

参考例句：

• The blessing was said in Hebrew.祷告用了希伯来语。
• A double blessing has descended upon the house.双喜临门。

3 wizened   

adj.凋谢的；枯槁的

参考例句：

• That wizened and grotesque little old man is a notorious miser.那个干瘪难看的小老头是个臭名远扬的吝啬鬼。
• Mr solomon was a wizened little man with frizzy gray hair.所罗门先生是一个干瘪矮小的人，头发鬈曲灰白。

4 exhortation   

n.劝告，规劝

参考例句：

• After repeated exhortation by his comrades,he finally straightened out his thinking.经过同志们再三劝导，他终于想通了。
• Foreign funds alone are clearly not enough,nor are exhortations to reform.光有外资显然不够，只是劝告人们进行改革也不行。

5 resonant   

adj.(声音)洪亮的，共鸣的

参考例句：

• She has a resonant voice.她的嗓子真亮。
• He responded with a resonant laugh.他报以洪亮的笑声。

6 meekness   

n.温顺，柔和

参考例句：

• Amy sewed with outward meekness and inward rebellion till dusk. 阿密阳奉阴违地一直缝到黄昏。 来自辞典例句
• 'I am pretty well, I thank you,' answered Mr. Lorry, with meekness; 'how are you?' “很好，谢谢，”罗瑞先生回答，态度温驯，“你好么？” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

7 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

8 hem   

n.贴边，镶边；vt.缝贴边；(in)包围，限制

参考例句：

• The hem on her skirt needs sewing.她裙子上的褶边需要缝一缝。
• The hem of your dress needs to be let down an inch.你衣服的折边有必要放长1英寸。

9 tranquillity   

n. 平静, 安静

参考例句：

• The phenomenon was so striking and disturbing that his philosophical tranquillity vanished. 这个令人惶惑不安的现象，扰乱了他的旷达宁静的心境。
• My value for domestic tranquillity should much exceed theirs. 我应该远比他们重视家庭的平静生活。

10 reconciliation   

n.和解，和谐，一致

参考例句：

• He was taken up with the reconciliation of husband and wife.他忙于做夫妻间的调解工作。
• Their handshake appeared to be a gesture of reconciliation.他们的握手似乎是和解的表示。

11 dispel   

vt.驱走，驱散，消除

参考例句：

• I tried in vain to dispel her misgivings.我试图消除她的疑虑，但没有成功。
• We hope the programme will dispel certain misconceptions about the disease.我们希望这个节目能消除对这种疾病的一些误解。

12 battered   

adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损

参考例句：

• He drove up in a battered old car.他开着一辆又老又破的旧车。
• The world was brutally battered but it survived.这个世界遭受了惨重的创伤,但它还是生存下来了。

13 craves   

渴望，热望( crave的第三人称单数 )； 恳求，请求

参考例句：

• The tree craves calm but the wind will not drop. 树欲静而风不止。
• Victory would give him a passport to the riches he craves. 胜利将使他有机会获得自己梦寐以求的财富。

14 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

15 edify   

v.陶冶；教化；启发

参考例句：

• They tried to edify the child with music.他们试图用音乐陶冶这孩子。
• TV should attempt to edify the masses.电视应该试着去启迪大众。

16 inflicted   

把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• They inflicted a humiliating defeat on the home team. 他们使主队吃了一场很没面子的败仗。
• Zoya heroically bore the torture that the Fascists inflicted upon her. 卓娅英勇地承受法西斯匪徒加在她身上的酷刑。

17 intervals   

n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息

参考例句：

• The forecast said there would be sunny intervals and showers. 预报间晴，有阵雨。
• Meetings take place at fortnightly intervals. 每两周开一次会。

18 mumbling   

含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• I could hear him mumbling to himself. 我听到他在喃喃自语。
• He was still mumbling something about hospitals at the end of the party when he slipped on a piece of ice and broke his left leg. 宴会结束时，他仍在咕哝着医院里的事。说着说着，他在一块冰上滑倒，跌断了左腿。

19 reverence   

n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬

参考例句：

• He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
• We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it.我们尊重传统，但不被传统所束缚。

20 distraction   

n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐

参考例句：

• Total concentration is required with no distractions.要全神贯注，不能有丝毫分神。
• Their national distraction is going to the disco.他们的全民消遣就是去蹦迪。

21 thronged   

v.成群，挤满( throng的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Mourners thronged to the funeral. 吊唁者蜂拥着前来参加葬礼。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The department store was thronged with people. 百货商店挤满了人。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

22 bawl   

v.大喊大叫，大声地喊，咆哮

参考例句：

• You don't have to bawl out like that. Eeverybody can hear you.你不必这样大声喊叫，大家都能听见你。
• Your mother will bawl you out when she sees this mess.当你母亲看到这混乱的局面时她会责骂你的。