First Experience of LifeThe present moment, by God! is the ark of the Lord. Woe1 betidethe man who lays his hand upon it.
DIDEROTThe reader will kindly2 excuse our giving but few clear and precise details of this epoch3 in Julien's life. Not that we lack them, far from it; butperhaps the life he led in the Seminary is too black for the modest colouring which we have sought to preserve in these pages. People who havebeen made to suffer by certain things cannot be reminded of themwithout a horror which paralyses every other pleasure, even that to befound in reading a story.
Julien met with little success in his attempts at hypocrisy4 in action; hepassed through moments of disgust and even of complete discouragement. He was utterly5 unsuccessful, and that moreover in a vile6 career.
The slightest help from without would have sufficed to restore his morale7, the difficulty to be overcome was not great; but he was alone, aslonely as a vessel8 abandoned in mid-ocean. 'And if I should succeed,' hesaid to himself; 'to have to spend my whole life in such evil company!
Gluttons who think of nothing but the ham omelette they are going todevour at dinner, or men like the abbe Castanede, to whom no crime istoo black! They will rise to power; but at what a price, great God!
'Man's will is powerful, I see it written everywhere; but is it sufficiently9 so to overcome such repulsion? The task of great men has alwaysbeen easy; however terrible was their danger, it was beautiful in theireyes; and who but myself can realise the ugliness of all that surroundsme?'
This was the most trying moment in his life. It was so easy for him toenlist in one of the fine regiments10 that were stationed at Besancon! Hemight become a teacher of Latin; he wanted so little to keep himself alive! But then, no career, no future for his imagination: it was a livingdeath. Here is a detailed11 account of one of his wretched days.
'My presumption12 has so often flattered itself upon my being differentfrom the other young peasants! Well, I have lived long enough to seethat difference breeds hatred,' he said to himself one morning. This greattruth had just been revealed to him by one of his most annoying failures.
He had laboured for a week to make himself agreeable to a student wholived in the odour of sanctity. He was walking with him in the courtyard,listening submissively to idiocies13 that sent him to sleep as he walked.
Suddenly a storm broke, the thunder growled14, and the saintly studentexclaimed, thrusting him rudely away:
'Listen, each for himself in this world, I have no wish to be struck bylightning: God may blast you as an infidel, another Voltaire.'
His teeth clenched15 with rage and his eyes opened towards the sky furrowed16 by streaks17 of lightning: 'I should deserve to be submerged, were Ito let myself sleep during the storm!' cried Julien. 'Let us attempt the conquest of some other drudge18.'
The bell rang for the abbe Castanede's class of sacred history.
These young peasants who lived in such fear of the hard toil19 andpoverty of their fathers, were taught that day by the abbe Castanede thatthat being so terrible in their eyes, the Government, had no real or legitimate20 power save what was delegated to it by God's Vicar on Earth.
'Render yourselves worthy21 of the Pope's bounties22 by the sanctity ofyour lives, by your obedience23, be like a rod in his hands,' he went on,'and you will attain24 to a superb position where you will be in supremecommand, under no man's control; a permanent position, of which theGovernment pays one third of the emoluments25, and the faithful, rousedby your preaching, the other two thirds.'
On leaving his classroom, M. Castanede stopped in the courtyard.
'You may well say of a cure, each man gets what he deserves,' he saidto the students who gathered round him. 'I myself have known mountain parishes where the fees came to more than those of many towncures. There was as much in money, not to speak of the fat capons, eggs,fresh butter, and endless little delicacies26; and there the cure takes the firstplace without challenge: no good meal to which he is not invited, mademuch of,' etc.
No sooner had M. Castanede gone up to his own room, than the students divided into groups. Julien belonged to none of these; they drew away from him as from a tainted27 wether. In each of the groups, he saw astudent toss a copper28 in the air, and if he guessed head or tail aright, hiscompanions concluded that he would soon have one of these livingswith fat fees.
Stories followed. One young priest, barely a year in orders, havingpresented a domestic rabbit to an old cure's servant, had got the cure toask for him as his assistant, and a few months afterwards, for the curehad died almost immediately, had succeeded him in a good living.
Another had managed to have his name put forward for the eventualsuccession to the curacy of a prosperous country town, by attending allthe meals of the paralytic29 old cure and carving30 his chickens for himgracefully.
The seminarists, like young men in every profession, exaggerated theeffect of these little stratagems31 when they were out of the ordinary andstruck the imagination.
'I must,' thought Julien, 'take part in these conversations.' When theywere not discussing sausages and rich livings, their talk ran on theworldly side of ecclesiastical teaching; the differences between Bishopsand Prefects, mayors and cures. Julien saw lurking32 in their minds theidea of a second God, but of a God far more to be feared and far morepowerful than the first; this second God was the Pope. It was said, butwith lowered voice, and when the speaker was quite certain of not beingoverheard by M. Pirard, that if the Pope did not take the trouble to appoint all the Prefects and all the mayors in France, it was because he haddelegated the King of France for that duty, by naming him the Eldest33 Sonof the Church.
It was about this time that Julien thought he might derive34 some benefitfrom his admiration35 for M. de Maistre's book on the Pope. He did, as amatter of fact, astonish his fellow-students; but this was a fresh misfortune. He annoyed them by expressing their opinions better than theycould themselves. M. Chelan had been a rash counsellor for Julien as hehad been for himself. After training him to the habit of reasoning accurately36 and not letting himself be taken in by vain words, he had omittedto tell him that in a person of little repute this habit is a crime; for soundreasoning always gives offence.
Julien's fine speech was therefore only another crime against him. Hiscompanions, being compelled to think about him, succeeded in findingtwo words to express all the horror with which he filled them: they nicknamed him Martin Luther; 'chiefly,' they said, 'because of that infernal logic37 of which he is so proud.'
Several young seminarists had fresher complexions38 and might bereckoned better looking than Julien; but he had white hands, and couldnot hide certain habits of personal cleanliness. This distinction was noneat all in the grim dwelling39 into which destiny had cast him. The uncleanpeasants among whom he lived declared that he had extremely lax morals. We are afraid to tire the reader by an account of our hero's endlessmishaps. To take one instance, the more vigorous among his companionstried to make a practice of thrashing him; he was obliged to arm himselfwith a metal compass and to inform them, but only by signs, that hewould use it. Signs cannot be represented, in a spy's report, sodamningly as words.
1 woe | |
n.悲哀,苦痛,不幸,困难;int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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2 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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3 epoch | |
n.(新)时代;历元 | |
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4 hypocrisy | |
n.伪善,虚伪 | |
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5 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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6 vile | |
adj.卑鄙的,可耻的,邪恶的;坏透的 | |
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7 morale | |
n.道德准则,士气,斗志 | |
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8 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
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9 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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10 regiments | |
(军队的)团( regiment的名词复数 ); 大量的人或物 | |
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11 detailed | |
adj.详细的,详尽的,极注意细节的,完全的 | |
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12 presumption | |
n.推测,可能性,冒昧,放肆,[法律]推定 | |
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13 idiocies | |
n.极度的愚蠢( idiocy的名词复数 );愚蠢的行为;白痴状态 | |
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14 growled | |
v.(动物)发狺狺声, (雷)作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 );低声咆哮着说 | |
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15 clenched | |
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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16 furrowed | |
v.犁田,开沟( furrow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17 streaks | |
n.(与周围有所不同的)条纹( streak的名词复数 );(通常指不好的)特征(倾向);(不断经历成功或失败的)一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 );使布满条纹 | |
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18 drudge | |
n.劳碌的人;v.做苦工,操劳 | |
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19 toil | |
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事 | |
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20 legitimate | |
adj.合法的,合理的,合乎逻辑的;v.使合法 | |
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21 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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22 bounties | |
(由政府提供的)奖金( bounty的名词复数 ); 赏金; 慷慨; 大方 | |
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23 obedience | |
n.服从,顺从 | |
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24 attain | |
vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
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25 emoluments | |
n.报酬,薪水( emolument的名词复数 ) | |
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26 delicacies | |
n.棘手( delicacy的名词复数 );精致;精美的食物;周到 | |
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27 tainted | |
adj.腐坏的;污染的;沾污的;感染的v.使变质( taint的过去式和过去分词 );使污染;败坏;被污染,腐坏,败坏 | |
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28 copper | |
n.铜;铜币;铜器;adj.铜(制)的;(紫)铜色的 | |
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29 paralytic | |
adj. 瘫痪的 n. 瘫痪病人 | |
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30 carving | |
n.雕刻品,雕花 | |
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31 stratagems | |
n.诡计,计谋( stratagem的名词复数 );花招 | |
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32 lurking | |
潜在 | |
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33 eldest | |
adj.最年长的,最年老的 | |
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34 derive | |
v.取得;导出;引申;来自;源自;出自 | |
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35 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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36 accurately | |
adv.准确地,精确地 | |
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37 logic | |
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
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38 complexions | |
肤色( complexion的名词复数 ); 面色; 局面; 性质 | |
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39 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
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