To begin with he was ashamed of himself-a rare state of mind. He had a hangover, a bad one, with an aching head and stiff joints1. When he coughed-smoking too much goes with drinking too much and doubles the hangover-a cloud of small luminous2 black spots swam across his vision like amoebae in pond water. The one drink too many signals itself unmistakably. His final whisky and soda3 in the luxurious4 flat in Park Lane had been no different from the ten preceding ones, but it had gone down reluctantly and had left a bitter taste and an ugly sensation of surfeit5. And, although he had taken in the message, he had agreed to play just one more rubber. Five pounds a hundred as it's the last one? He had agreed. And he had played the rubber like a fool. Even now he could see the queen of spades, with that stupid Mona Lisa smile on her fat face, slapping triumphantly6 down on his knave-the queen, as his partner had so sharply reminded him, that had been so infallibly marked with South, and that had made the difference between a grand slam redoubled (drunkenly) for him, and four hundred points above the line for the opposition7. In the end it had been a twenty-point rubber, ￡100 against him-important money.
Again Bond dabbed8 with the bloodstained styptic pencil at the cut on his chin and despised the face that stared sullenly9 back at him from the mirror above the wash basin. Stupid, ignorant bastard10! It all came from having nothing to do. More than a month of paper work-ticking off his number on stupid dockets, scribbling11 minutes that got spikier12 as the weeks passed, and snapping back down the telephone when some harmless section officer tried to argue with him. And then his secretary had gone down with the flu and he had been given a silly, and, worse, ugly bitch from the pool who called him ?sir? and spoke13 to him primly14 through a mouth full of fruit stones. And now it was another Monday morning. Another week was beginning. The May rain thrashed at the windows. Bond swallowed down two Phensics and reached for the Eno's. The telephone in his bedroom rang. It was the loud ring of the direct line with Headquarters.
James Bond, his heart thumping15 faster than it should have done, despite the race across London and a fretful wait for the lift to the eighth floor, pulled out the chair and sat down and looked across into the calm, gray, damnably clear eyes he knew so well. What could he read in them?
?Good morning, James. Sorry to pull you along a bit early in the morning. Got a very full day ahead. Wanted to fit you in before the rush.?
Bond's excitement waned16 minutely. It was never a good sign when M addressed him by his Christian17 name instead of by his number. This didn't look like a job-more like something personal. There was none of the tension in M's voice that heralded18 big, exciting news. M's expression was interested, friendly, almost benign19. Bond said something noncommittal.
?Haven't seen much of you lately, James. How have you been? Your health, I mean.? M picked up a sheet of paper, a form of some kind, from his desk, and held it as if preparing to read.
Suspiciously, trying to guess what the paper said, what all this was about, Bond said, ?I'm all right, sir.?
M said mildly, ?That's not what the M.O. thinks, James. Just had your last Medical. I think you ought to hear what he has to say.?
Bond looked angrily at the back of the paper. Now what the hell! He said with control, ?Just as you say, sir.?
M gave Bond a careful, appraising20 glance. He held the paper closer to his eyes. ? `This officer,' ? he read, ? `remains basically physically21 sound. Unfortunately his mode of life is not such as is likely to allow him to remain in this happy state. Despite many previous warnings, he admits to smoking sixty cigarettes a day. These are of a Balkan mixture with a higher nicotine22 content than the cheaper varieties. When not engaged upon strenuous23 duty, the officer's average daily consumption of alcohol is in the region of half a bottle of spirits of between sixty and seventy proof. On examination, there continues to be little definite sign of deterioration24. The tongue is furred. The blood pressure a little raised at 160/90. The liver is not palpable. On the other hand, when pressed, the officer admits to frequent occipital headaches and there is spasm25 in the trapezius muscles and so-called `fibrositis' nodules can be felt. I believe these symptoms to be due to this officer's mode of life. He is not responsive to the suggestion that over-indulgence is no remedy for the tensions inherent in his professional calling and can only result in the creation of a toxic26 state which could finally have the effect of reducing his fitness as an officer. I recommend that No. 007 should take it easy for two to three weeks on a more abstemious27 regime, when I believe he would make a complete return to his previous exceptionally high state of physical fitness.' ?
M reached over and slid the report into his OUT tray. He put his hands flat down on the desk in front of him and looked sternly across at Bond. He said, ?Not very satisfactory, is it, James??
Bond tried to keep impatience28 out of his voice. He said, ?I'm perfectly29 fit, sir. Everyone has occasional headaches. Most week-end golfers have fibrositis. You get it from sweating and then sitting in a draft. Aspirin30 and embrocation get rid of them. Nothing to it, really, sir.?
M said severely31, ?That's just where you're making a big mistake, James. Taking medicine only suppresses these symptoms of yours. Medicine doesn't get to the root of the trouble. It only conceals32 it. The result is a more highly poisoned condition which may become chronic33 disease. All drugs are harmful to the system. They are contrary to nature. The same applies to most of the food we eat-white bread with all the roughage removed, refined sugar with all the goodness machined out of it, pasteurized milk which has had most of the vitamins boiled away, everything overcooked and denaturized. Why?- M reached into his pocket for his notebook and consulted it-?do you know what our bread contains apart from a bit of overground flour?? M looked accusingly at Bond. ?It contains large quantities of chalk, also benzol peroxide powder, chlorine gas, sal ammoniac, and alum.? M put the notebook back in his pocket. ?What do you think of that??
Bond, mystified by all this, said defensively, ?I don't eat all that much bread, sir.?
?Maybe not,? said M impatiently. ?But how much stoneground whole wheat do you eat? How much yoghurt? Uncooked vegetables, nuts, fresh fruit??
Bond smiled. ?Practically none at all, sir.?
?It's no laughing matter.? M tapped his forefinger34 on the desk for emphasis. ?Mark my words. There is no way to health except the natural way. All your troubles?-Bond opened his mouth to protest, but M held up his hand-?the deep-seated toxemia revealed by your Medical, are the result of a basically unnatural35 way of life. Ever heard of Bircher-Brenner, for instance? Or Kneipp, Preissnitz, Rikli, Schroth, Gossman, Bilz??
?No, sir.?
?Just so. Well, those are the men you would be wise to study. Those are the great naturopaths-the men whose teaching we have foolishly ignored. Fortunately?-M's eyes gleamed enthusiastically-?there are a number of disciples36 of these men practicing in England. Nature cure is not beyond our reach.?
James Bond looked curiously37 at M. What the hell had got into the old man? Was all this the first sign of senile decay? But M looked fitter than Bond had ever seen him. The cold gray eyes were clear as crystal and the skin of the hard, lined face was luminous with health. Even the iron-gray hair seemed to have new life. Then what was all this lunacy?
M reached for his IN tray and placed it in front of him in a preliminary gesture of dismissal. He said cheerfully, ?Well, that's all, James. Miss Moneypenny has made the reservation. Two weeks will be quite enough to put you right. You won't know yourself when you come out. New man.?
Bond looked across at M, aghast. He said in a strangled voice, ?Out of where, sir??
?Place called Shrublands. Run by quite a famous man in his line-Wain, Joshua Wain. Remarkable38 chap. Sixty-five. Doesn't look a day over forty. He'll take good care of you. Very up-to-date equipment, and he's even got his own herb garden. Nice stretch of country. Near Washington in Sussex. And don't worry about your work here. Put it right out of your mind for a couple of weeks. I'll tell 009 to take care of the Section.?
Bond couldn't believe his ears. He said, ?But, sir. I mean, I'm perfectly all right. Are you sure? I mean, is this really necessary??
?No.? M smiled frostily. ?Not necessary. Essential. If you want to stay in the double-O Section, that is. I can't afford to have an officer in that section who isn't one-hundred-per-cent fit.? M lowered his eyes to the basket in front of him and took out a signal file. ?That's all, 007.? He didn't look up. The tone of voice was final.
Bond got to his feet. He said nothing. He walked across the room and let himself out, closing the door with exaggerated softness. Outside, Miss Moneypenny looked sweetly up at him. Bond walked over to her desk and banged his fist down so that the typewriter jumped. He said furiously, ?Now what the hell, Penny?
Has the old man gone off his rocker? What's all this bloody39 nonsense? I'm damned if I'm going. He's absolutely nuts.?
Miss Moneypenny smiled happily. ?The manager's been terribly helpful and kind. He says he can give you the Myrtle room, in the annex40. He says it's a lovely room. It looks right over the herb garden. They've got their own herb garden, you know.?
?I know all about their bloody herb garden. Now look here, Penny,? Bond pleaded with her, ?be a good girl and tell me what it's all about. What's eating him??
Miss Moneypenny, who often dreamed hopelessly about Bond, took pity on him. She lowered her voice conspiratorially41. ?As a matter of fact, I think it's only a passing phase. But it is rather bad luck on you getting caught up in it before it's passed. You know he's always apt to get bees in his bonnet42 about the efficiency of the Service. There was the time when all of us had to go through that physical-exercise course. Then he had that head-shrinker in, the psychoanalyst man-you missed that. You were somewhere abroad. All the Heads of Section had to tell him their dreams. He didn't last long. Some of their dreams must have scared him off or something. Well, last month M got lumbago and some friend of his at Blades, one of the fat, drinking ones I suppose?-Miss Moneypenny turned down her desirable mouth-?told him about this place in the country. This man swore by it. Told M that we were all like motor cars and that all we needed from time to time was to go to a garage and get decarbonized. He said he went there every year. He said it only cost twenty guineas a week, which was less than what he spent in Blades in one day, and it made him feel wonderful. Well, you know M always likes trying new things, and he went there for ten days and came back absolutely sold on the place. Yesterday he gave me a great talking-to all about it and this morning in the post I got a whole lot of tins of treacle43 and wheat germ and heaven knows what all. I don't know what to do with the stuff. I'm afraid my poor poodle'll have to live on it. Anyway, that's what's happened and I must say I've never seen him in such wonderful form. He's absolutely rejuvenated44.?
?He looked like that blasted man in the old Kruschen Salts advertisements. But why does he pick on me to go to this nuthouse??
Miss Moneypenny gave a secret smile. ?You know he thinks the world of you-or perhaps you don't. Anyway, as soon as he saw your Medical he told me to book you in.? Miss Moneypenny screwed up her nose. ?But, James, do you really drink and smoke as much as that? It can't be good for you, you know.? She looked up at him with motherly eyes.
Bond controlled himself. He summoned a desperate effort at nonchalance45, at the throw-away phrase. ?It's just that I'd rather die of drink than of thirst. As for the cigarettes, it's really only that I don't know what to do with my hands.? He heard the stale, hangover words fall like clinker in a dead grate. Cut out the schmaltz! What you need is a double brandy and soda.
Miss Moneypenny's warm lips pursed into a disapproving46 line. ?About the hands-that's not what I've heard.?
?Now don't you start on me, Penny.? Bond walked angrily toward the door. He turned round. ?Any more ticking-off from you and when I get out of this place I'll give you such a spanking47 you'll have to do your typing off a block of Dunlopillo.?
Miss Moneypenny smiled sweetly at him. ?I don't think you'll be able to do much spanking after living on nuts and lemon juice for two weeks, James.?
Bond made a noise between a grunt48 and a snarl49 and stormed out of the room.
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1
joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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2
luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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3
soda
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| n.苏打水；汽水 | |
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luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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surfeit
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| v.使饮食过度；n.(食物)过量，过度 | |
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triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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dabbed
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| （用某物）轻触( dab的过去式和过去分词 )； 轻而快地擦掉（或抹掉）； 快速擦拭； （用某物）轻而快地涂上（或点上）… | |
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sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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bastard
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| n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子 | |
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11
scribbling
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| n.乱涂[写]胡[乱]写的文章[作品]v.潦草的书写( scribble的现在分词 )；乱画；草草地写；匆匆记下 | |
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12
spikier
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| spiky（大钉似的）的比较级形式 | |
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13
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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14
primly
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| adv.循规蹈矩地，整洁地 | |
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15
thumping
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| adj.重大的，巨大的；重击的；尺码大的；极好的adv.极端地；非常地v.重击(thump的现在分词)；狠打；怦怦地跳；全力支持 | |
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16
waned
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| v.衰落( wane的过去式和过去分词 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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heralded
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| v.预示( herald的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布（好或重要） | |
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benign
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| adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的 | |
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20
appraising
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| v.估价( appraise的现在分词 )；估计；估量；评价 | |
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21
physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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22
nicotine
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| n.(化)尼古丁，烟碱 | |
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23
strenuous
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| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
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24
deterioration
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| n.退化；恶化；变坏 | |
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25
spasm
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| n.痉挛，抽搐；一阵发作 | |
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toxic
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| adj.有毒的，因中毒引起的 | |
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abstemious
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| adj.有节制的，节俭的 | |
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28
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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30
aspirin
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| n.阿司匹林 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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32
conceals
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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33
chronic
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| adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的 | |
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34
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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35
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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36
disciples
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| n.信徒( disciple的名词复数 )；门徒；耶稣的信徒；（尤指）耶稣十二门徒之一 | |
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37
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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38
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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39
bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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40
annex
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| vt.兼并，吞并；n.附属建筑物 | |
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41
conspiratorially
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42
bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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43
treacle
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| n.糖蜜 | |
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44
rejuvenated
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| 更生的 | |
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45
nonchalance
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| n.冷淡，漠不关心 | |
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46
disapproving
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| adj.不满的，反对的v.不赞成( disapprove的现在分词 ) | |
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47
spanking
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| adj.强烈的，疾行的；n.打屁股 | |
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48
grunt
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| v.嘟哝；作呼噜声；n.呼噜声，嘟哝 | |
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49
snarl
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| v.吼叫，怒骂，纠缠，混乱；n.混乱，缠结，咆哮 | |
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