The next morning, hungover and conscience-stricken, he obediently fell in with Tiger's plans that they should visit the oldest whore-house in Japan before a quick drive to Osaka for the day's journey across the Inland Sea to the southern island of Kyushu. 'Bit early for visiting a whore-house,' had been his only comment.
Tiger laughed. 'It is a matter of deep regret to me that your baser instincts should always be in the ascendancy5, Bondo-san. Prostitution is now illegal in Japan. What we are about to visit is a national monument.'
'Oh, good show!'
There was a deal of bowing and hissing6 at the whore-house, a spacious7 establishment in the now defunct8 red lamp street of the ancient capital, and they were presented with handsomely bound descriptive booklets by the earnest curator. They wandered over polished floors from chamber9 to chamber, and gravely inspected the sword cuts in the wooden supports that had been inflicted10, according to Tiger, by samurai infuriated by lust11 and impatience12. Bond inquired how many actual bedrooms there had been. It seemed to him that the whole place was taken up by a vast kitchen and many dining-rooms.
'Four rooms,' answered the curator.
'That's no way to run a whore-house,' commented Bond. 'You need quick throughput, like a casino.'
'Bondo-san,' complained Tiger. 'Please try and put out of your mind comparisons between our way of life and yours. In former times, this was a place of rest and recreation. Food was served and there was music and story-telling. People would write tankas. Take that inscription13 on the wall. It says "Everything is new tomorrow." Some man with a profound mind will have written that.'
'Then he threw his pen away and reached for his sword and shouted, "When is room No. 4 going to be empty?" National monument indeed! It's like in the new African States where they pretend the cannibal stewpot in the chief's hut was for cooking yams for the hungry children. Everyone tries to forget his rowdy past instead of being proud of it. Like we are of Bloody14 Morgan, or Nell Gwynne, for instance. The great murderer and the great whore are part of our history. You shouldn't try and pretend that your oldest whore-house is a sort of Stratford-on-Avon.'
Tiger uttered an explosive laugh. 'Bondo-san, your comments on our Japanese way of life become more and more outrageous15. Come, it is time to cleanse16 your mind in the salubrious breezes of the Inland Sea.'
The Murasaki Maru was a very modern 3,ooo-ton ship with all the luxuries of an ocean liner. Crowds waved her goodbye as if the ship was setting off across the Atlantic instead of doing a day trip down the equivalent of a long lake. There was much throwing of paper streamers by groups bearing placards to show whom they represented - business outings, schools, clubs-part of the vast travelling population of Japan, for ever on the move, making an outing, visiting relatives or shrines17, or just seeing the sights of the country. The ship throbbed18 grandly through the endless horned islands. Tiger said that there were fine whirlpools 'like great lavatory pans, specially19 designed for suicides' between some of these. Meanwhile, Tiger and Bond sat in the first class dining-room and consumed 'Hamlets' - ham omelets - and sake. Tiger was in a lecturing mood. He was determined20 to correct Bond's boorish21 ignorance of Japanese culture. 'Bondo-san, I wonder if I will ever get you to appreciate the nuances of the Japanese tanka, or of the haiku, which are the classical forms of Japanese verse. Have you ever heard of Basho, for instance?'
'No,' said Bond with polite interest. 'Who's he?'
'Just so,' said Tiger bitterly. 'And yet you would think me grossly uneducated if I had never heard of Shakespeare, Homer, Dante, Cervantes, Goethe. And yet Basho, who lived in the seventeenth century, is the equal of any of them.'
'What did he write?'
'He was an itinerant22 poet. He was particularly at home with the haiku, the verse of seventeen syllables23.' Tiger assumed a contemplative expression. He intoned:
'In the bitter radish
that bites into me, I feel
the autumn wind.
'Does that not say anything to you? Or this:
'The butterfly is perfuming
its wings, in the scent24
of the orchid25.
'You do not grasp the beauty of that image?'
'Rather elusive26 compared to Shakespeare.'
'In the fisherman's hut
mingled27 with dried shrimps28
crickets are chirping29.'
Tiger looked at him hopefully.
'Can't get the hang of that one,' said Bond apologetically.
'You do not catch the still-life quality of these verses? The flash of insight into humanity, into nature? Now, do me a favour, Bondo-san. Write a haiku for me yourself. I am sure you could get the hang of it. After all you must have had some education?'
Bond laughed. 'Mostly in Latin and Greek. All about Caesar and Balbus and so on. Absolutely no help in ordering a cup of coffee in Rome or Athens after I'd left school. And things like trigonometry, which I've totally forgotten. But give me a pen and a piece of paper and I'll have a bash, if you'll forgive the bad joke.' Tiger handed them over and Bond put his head in his hands. Finally, after much crossing out and rewriting he said, 'Tiger, how's this? It makes just as much sense as old Basho and it's much more pithy30.' He read out:
'You only live twice:
Once when you are born
And once when you look death in the face.'
Tiger clapped his hands softly. He said with real delight, 'But that is excellent, Bondo-san. Most sincere.' He took the pen and paper and jotted31 some ideograms up the page. He shook his head. 'No, it won't do in Japanese. You have the wrong number of syllables. But it is a most honourable32 attempt.' He looked keenly at Bond. 'You were perhaps thinking of your mission?'
'Perhaps,' said Bond with indifference33.
'It is weighing on your mind?'
'The practical difficulties are bound to do so. I have swallowed the moral principles involved. Things being as they are, I have to accept that the end justifies34 the means.'
'Then you are not concerned with your own safety?'
'Not particularly. I've had worse jobs to do.'
'I must congratulate you on your stoicism. You do not appear to value your life as highly as most Westerners.' Tiger looked at him kindly35. 'Is there perhaps a reaso'n for that?'
Bond was offhand36. 'Not that I can think of. But for God's sake chuck it, Tiger 1 None of your Japanese brain-washing! More sake, and answer my question of yesterday. Why weren't those men disabled by those terrific slashes37 to the groin? That might be of some practical value to me instead of all this waffle about poetry.'
Tiger ordered the sake. He laughed. 'Unfortunately you are too old to benefit. I would need to have caught you at the age of about fourteen. You see, it is this way. You know the sumo wrestlers? It is they who invented the trick many centuries ago. It is vital for them to be immune from damage to those parts of the body. Now, you know that, in men, the testicles, which until puberty have been held inside the body, are released by a particular muscle and descend39 between the legs?'
'Yes.'
'Well the sumo wrestler38 will have been selected for his profession by the time of puberty. Perhaps because of his weight and strength, or perhaps because he comes of a sumo family. Well, by assiduously massaging40 those parts, he is able, after much practice, to cause the testicles to re-enter the body up the inguinal canal down which they originally descended41.'
'My God, you Japanese!' said Bond with admiration42. 'You really are up to all the tricks. You mean he gets them right out of the way behind the bones of the pelvis or what not?'
'Your knowledge of anatomy44 is as vague as your appreciation45 for poetry, but that is more or less so, yes. Then, before a fight, he will bind46 up that part of the body most thoroughly47 to contain these vulnerable organs in their hiding-place. Afterwards, in the bath, he will release them to hang normally. I have seen them do it. It is a great pity that it is now too late for you to practise this art. It might have given you more confidence on your mission. It is my experience that agents fear most for that part of the body when there is fighting to be done or when they risk capture. These organs, as you know, are most susceptible48 to torture for the extraction of information.'
'Don't I know it!' said Bond from the heart. 'Some of our chaps wear a box when they think they're in for a rough house. I don't care for them. Too uncomfortable.'
'What is a box?'
'It is what our cricketers wear to protect those parts when they go out to bat. It is a light padded shield of aluminium49.'
'I regret that we have nothing of that nature. We do not play cricket in Japan. Only baseball.'
'Lucky for you you weren't occupied by the British,' commented Bond. 'Cricket is a much more difficult and skilful50 game.'
'The Americans say otherwise.'
'Naturally. They want to sell you baseball equipment.'
They arrived at Beppu in the southern island of Kyushu as the sun was setting. Tiger said that this was just the time to see the famous geysers and fumaroles of the little spa. In any case, there would be no time in the morning as they would have to start early for Fukuoka, their final destination. Bond shivered slightly at the name. The moment was rapidly approaching when the sake and sightseeing would have to stop.
Above the town of Beppu, they visited in turn the ten spectacular 'hells' as they are officially designated. The stink51 of sulphur was disgusting, and each bubbling, burping nest of volcanic52 fumaroles was more horrific than the last. The steaming mud and belching53 geysers were of different colours - red, blue, and orange - and everywhere there were warning notices and skulls55 and crossbones to keep visitors at a safe distance. The tenth 'hell' announced in English and Japanese that there would be an eruption56 punctually every twenty minutes. They joined a small group of spectators under the arc lights that pinpointed57 a small quiescent58 crater59 in a rock area bespattered with mud. Sure enough, in five minutes, there came a rumbling60 from underground and a jet of steaming grey mud shot twenty feet up into the air and splashed down inside the enclosure. As Bond was turning away, he noticed a large red painted wheel, heavily padlocked and surrounded by wire-netting in a small separate enclosure. There were warning notices above it and a particularly menacing skull54 and crossbones. Bond asked Tiger what it was.
'It says that this wheel controls the pulse of the geyser. It says that if this wheel were screwed down it could result in the destruction of the entire establishment. It gives the explosive force of the volcano, if the exhaust valve of the geyser were to be closed, as the equivalent of a thousand pounds of TNT. It is, of course, all a bit of nonsense to attract the tourists. But now, back to the town, Bondo-sanl Since it is our last day together,' he added hastily, 'on this particular voyage, I have arranged a special treat. I ordered it by radio from the ship. A fugu feast!'
Bond cursed silently. The memory of his eggs Benedict the night before was intolerably sweet. What new monstrosity was this? he asked.
'Fugu is the Japanese blow-fish. In the water, it looks like a brown owl43, but when captured it blows itself up into a ball covered with wounding spines61. We sometimes dry the skins and put candles inside and use them as lanterns. But the flesh is particularly delicious. It is the staple62 food of the sumo wrestlers because it is supposed to be very strength-giving. The fish is also very popular with suicides and murderers because its liver and sex glands63 contain a poison which brings death instantaneously.'
'That's just what I would have chosen for dinner. How thoughtful of you, Tiger.'
'Have no fear, Bondo-san. Because of the dangerous properties of the fish, every fugu restaurant has to be manned by experts and be registered with the State.'
They left their bags at a Japanese inn where Tiger had reserved rooms, enjoyed the o-furo, honourable bath, together in the blue-tiled miniature swimming pool whose water was very hot and smelled of sulphur and then, totally relaxed, went off down the street leading to the sea.
(Bond had become enamoured of the civilized64, vaguely65 Roman, bathing habits of the Japanese. Was it because of these, because they washed outside the bath instead of wallowing in their own effluvia, that they all smelled so clean? Tiger said bluntly that, at the very best, Westerners smelled of sweet pork.)
The restaurant had a giant blow-fish hanging as a sign above the door, and inside, to Bond's relief, there were Western-style chairs and tables at which a smattering of people were eating with the intense concentration of the Japanese. They were expected and their table had been prepared. Bond said, 'Now then, Tiger, I'm not going to commit honourable suicide without at least five bottles of sake inside me.' The flasks66 were brought, all five of them, to the accompaniment of much tittering by the waitresses. Bond downed the lot, tumbler by tumbler, and expressed himself satisfied. 'Now you can bring on this blasted blow-fish,' he said belligerently67, 'and if it kills me it will be doing a good turn to our friend the doctor in his castle.'
A very beautiful white porcelain68 dish as big as a bicycle wheel was brought forward with much ceremony. On it were arranged, in the pattern of a huge flower, petal69 upon petal of a very thinly sliced and rather transparent70 white fish. Bond followed Tiger's example and set to with his chopsticks. He was proud of the fact that he had reached Black Belt standard with these instruments-the ability to eat an underdone fried egg with them.
The fish tasted of nothing, not even of fish. But it was very pleasant on the palate and Bond was effusive71 in his compliments because Tiger, smacking72 his lips over each morsel73, obviously expected it of him. There followed various side-dishes containing other parts of the fish, and more sake, but this time containing raw fugu fins74.
Bond sat back and lit a cigarette. He said, 'Well, Tiger. This is nearly the end of my education. Tomorrow you say I am to leave the nest. How many marks out of a hundred?'
Tiger looked at him quizzically. 'You have done well, Bondo-san. Apart from your inclination75 to make Western jokes about Eastern customs. Fortunately I am a man of infinite patience, and I must admit that your company has given me much pleasure and a certain amount of amusement. I will award you seventy-five marks out of a possible hundred.'
As they rose to go, a man brushed past Bond to get to the exit. He was a stocky man with a white masko over his mouth and he wore an ugly leather hat. The man on the train!
Well, welll thought Bond. If he shows up on the last lap to Fukuoka, I'll get him. If not I'll reluctantly put it down to 'Funny Coincidence Department'. But it looks like nought76 out of a hundred to Tiger for powers of observation.
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1
lavatory
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| n.盥洗室，厕所 | |
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pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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ascendancy
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| n.统治权，支配力量 | |
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hissing
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| n. 发嘶嘶声, 蔑视 动词hiss的现在分词形式 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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defunct
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| adj.死亡的；已倒闭的 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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inscription
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| n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文 | |
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14
bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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15
outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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16
cleanse
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| vt.使清洁，使纯洁，清洗 | |
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17
shrines
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| 圣地，圣坛，神圣场所( shrine的名词复数 ) | |
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18
throbbed
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| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
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19
specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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20
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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21
boorish
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| adj.粗野的，乡巴佬的 | |
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22
itinerant
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| adj.巡回的；流动的 | |
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23
syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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24
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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25
orchid
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| n.兰花，淡紫色 | |
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elusive
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| adj.难以表达(捉摸)的；令人困惑的；逃避的 | |
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27
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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28
shrimps
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| n.虾，小虾( shrimp的名词复数 )；矮小的人 | |
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29
chirping
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| 鸟叫，虫鸣( chirp的现在分词 ) | |
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30
pithy
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| adj.(讲话或文章)简练的 | |
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31
jotted
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| v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下 | |
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32
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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34
justifies
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| 证明…有理( justify的第三人称单数 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护） | |
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35
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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offhand
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| adj.临时，无准备的；随便，马虎的 | |
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slashes
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| n.（用刀等）砍( slash的名词复数 )；（长而窄的）伤口；斜杠；撒尿v.挥砍( slash的第三人称单数 )；鞭打；割破；削减 | |
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wrestler
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| n.摔角选手，扭 | |
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descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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40
massaging
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| 按摩，推拿( massage的现在分词 ) | |
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41
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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42
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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43
owl
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| n.猫头鹰，枭 | |
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44
anatomy
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| n.解剖学，解剖；功能，结构，组织 | |
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45
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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46
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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47
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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48
susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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49
aluminium
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| n.铝 (=aluminum) | |
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50
skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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51
stink
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| vi.发出恶臭；糟透，招人厌恶；n.恶臭 | |
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52
volcanic
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| adj.火山的；象火山的；由火山引起的 | |
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53
belching
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| n. 喷出，打嗝 动词belch的现在分词形式 | |
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54
skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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skulls
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| 颅骨( skull的名词复数 )； 脑袋； 脑子； 脑瓜 | |
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eruption
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| n.火山爆发；（战争等）爆发；（疾病等）发作 | |
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57
pinpointed
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| 准确地找出或描述( pinpoint的过去式和过去分词 )； 为…准确定位 | |
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quiescent
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| adj.静止的，不活动的，寂静的 | |
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crater
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| n.火山口，弹坑 | |
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rumbling
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| n. 隆隆声, 辘辘声 adj. 隆隆响的 动词rumble的现在分词 | |
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61
spines
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| n.脊柱( spine的名词复数 )；脊椎；（动植物的）刺；书脊 | |
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staple
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| n.主要产物，常用品，主要要素，原料，订书钉，钩环；adj.主要的，重要的；vt.分类 | |
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glands
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| n.腺( gland的名词复数 ) | |
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64
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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flasks
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| n.瓶，长颈瓶， 烧瓶( flask的名词复数 ) | |
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belligerently
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68
porcelain
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| n.瓷；adj.瓷的，瓷制的 | |
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69
petal
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| n.花瓣 | |
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70
transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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71
effusive
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| adj.热情洋溢的；感情(过多)流露的 | |
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72
smacking
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| 活泼的，发出响声的，精力充沛的 | |
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73
morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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74
fins
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| [医]散热片；鱼鳍；飞边；鸭掌 | |
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75
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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76
nought
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| n.／adj.无，零 | |
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