For a long time after he had retired3 that night Ward rolled and tossed upon his bed, and it seemed to the troubled boy as if sleep would never come. The words of Jack4 kept sounding in his ears, and do what he would he could not forget them.
His heart was heavy too, with the consciousness that the words were true and that he knew he was in a measure at fault. Perhaps that after all was the source of his deepest suffering, for Ward Hill was one of the few boys who could not entirely5 deceive himself.
Again and again he tried to persuade himself that his present suffering all came because he had broken with his former associates in the school. That a measure of truth lay in that fact he could readily persuade himself to believe, but not all of it could be traced to that source. Jack's references to his unwillingness6 to aid the other boys and his tendency to have but slight sympathy for those who did not learn as easily as he, had touched him in a tender spot and his own conscience accused him.
Then too, he knew that he had withdrawn7 from the fellowship of many in the school, and had been accustomed to pride himself somewhat upon that very fact. He was not dependent upon any one. If the fellows did not care for him, why, he did not intend to hang his harp8 on the willows9 and sit down and mourn over his slights. He would show every one in the school that he could live without his company if needs be. With such statements he had endeavored to bolster10 up his courage and by an air of bravado11, if not of true independence, he would show his own superiority. No one should ever hear him "whine12."
Yet, despite his efforts, his heart had been heavy all the time. He yearned13 for the love and good will of his companions. No one in the school more desired to be popular than he. And few too would suffer from the lack of popularity as he did.
And his heart had been heavy when he at last had closed his books when the bell was rung that night and he had put out his light and crept into his bed. He was tormented14 by a dull, heavy feeling of misery15. He felt lonely and forlorn. Both Mr. Crane and Jack had virtually admitted that he was not very well liked by the school, and both also evidently thought he was not entirely blameless in the matter.
As the truth gradually came to be seen by him, he was sincere enough to acknowledge it to be true and had sufficient strength to rouse himself to face its difficulties. He would follow Jack's suggestions.
On the following morning he said to Jack as they left the chapel16 together: "I'm going to follow your advice, and am coming down to play on the scrub against the nine this afternoon. The only thing I'm afraid of is that Tim Pickard will think I'm crawling. You know I'm not trying to get back my place on the team."
"That's all right, Ward," replied Jack enthusiastically. "Never you mind Tim, you just go ahead. It'll be all right and I'll see that you have a place on the scrub."
As a consequence of Jack's efforts, when in the afternoon Ward went down to the ball ground, Ford17, who was acting18 as the captain of the scrub nine, which was formed to give the regular nine practice every day, said to him, "Ward, will you take a hand with us this afternoon?"
"Yes," replied Ward quietly.
"All right; play 'short' then, will you?"
As Ward threw aside his coat and walked out upon the field to take the position assigned him, he was conscious that many of the boys who had assembled to watch the nine at its practice were talking of him. His face burned, but he tried hard not to appear aware of the curiosity which his appearance on the field had aroused. The sneer19 on Tim Pickard's face was the hardest for him to bear; and when he overheard the words which Tim uttered, evidently intended for Ward's special benefit, about "sneaks20" and "trying to curry21 favor and crawl back on the team," he was sorely tempted22 to leave the field instantly.
But catching23 a meaning look just then from Jack, he resolutely24 ignored all that he had heard and seen, and well aware that Tim would be highly delighted even then to have him abandon the game, he tried hard to give his entire attention to the work before him.
It was the first game in which Ward had played since he had come back to Weston and he felt sadly his lack of practice. But endeavoring to make up by his efforts what he lacked in practice, he succeeded beyond his hopes in acquitting25 himself creditably. He handled the ball quickly and threw with all his old-time swiftness.
Indeed, he thought more than once of that long throw of his in the game with the Burrs in the preceding year, which had saved the game and won for him the wild applause of his fellows. The recollection served to intensify26 the difficulties of his present position. How sadly had it all been changed since the preceding year! He was, however, too busy in the game to dwell long upon the misery which the thought produced.
When it came to be his turn to bat and he stood facing Tim, who was the pitcher27 of the Weston nine, he could easily perceive the expression of hatred28 upon his face. Tim exerted himself to the utmost and sent in the ball with all the speed and curves he could summon. Perhaps his manifest desire to place Ward at a disadvantage served to rouse the latter all the more. At any rate he stood calmly facing Tim, apparently29 unmoved by all his efforts to annoy him.
It became evident to others as well as to Ward that Tim in his anger was trying to hit him with the ball. He sent in two or three at his swiftest speed and Ward had all he could do to dodge30 them successfully.
"Oh, hold on, Tim!" called Jack in a low voice from his position at short stop. "What are you trying to do? You want to remember that we're not alone here."
Somehow Jack always seemed to have a strange influence over the captain of the nine, an influence which no other exerted, or even tried to use. And the effect of the words became at once apparent as Tim's speed slackened and the next ball came in directly over the plate.
Just then Ward obtained a glimpse of Mr. Crane, who had come upon the grounds and taken his position in the front line of the spectators, where he stood watching the game. Perhaps the sight of the teacher, or Jack's words, or the change which came over Tim, served to arouse Ward still more. He never knew just what the cause was; but as he saw the ball coming swiftly toward him, he caught it squarely on the end of his bat and sent it far out over the heads of the waiting fielders.
As Ward swiftly cleared the bases, sending in two men before him, he was dimly conscious that a faint cheer had arisen from the spectators. He gave no heed32 to that, however, nor yet to the words with which Jack hailed him as he ran swiftly past him. Somehow the heavy hit which he had made served in a measure to relieve his feelings, and as he halted upon the third base he wiped his dripping face with his handkerchief and for the first time turned and looked about him.
Jack's face was beaming and Ward could easily see he had risen in the estimation of the spectators. The sight produced a thrill of pleasure in his heart, but he was soon recalled to the necessities of the game and gave himself fully31 to that. When at last he succeeded in stealing home, the applause again broke out, but Ward held himself aloof33 from the boys, well satisfied with what he had done.
Twice more during the game Ward succeeded in hitting squarely the swiftly thrown balls of the pitcher, and when at last the game was ended, the scrub nine for the first time that season had succeeded in making a creditable showing against the school nine, and Ward knew the success in large measure had been due to his efforts.
"Tell you what, Tim," said Jack, as the members of the nine picked up their bats and started for their rooms, "we'll have to put up the scrub against the Burrs, I'm thinking. If we don't look out they'll be playing all around us."
Tim made no reply, but a savage34 scowl35 crept over his face. He prided himself upon his prowess as a pitcher, and indeed it was freely acknowledged that there was no one in the school in any way to be compared with him. Indeed, it was this fact that chiefly enabled Tim to retain his position as the captain of the nine, for the boys well knew that without him they would be so sadly crippled as to be unable to make a good showing against any team.
The fact that Ward Hill, whom he disliked so intensely, had succeeded in successfully batting him that day was gall36 to the angry boy. He made no reply to Jack's words, and sullenly37 departed from the field.
Ward did not wait for any of his friends to accompany him as he too started from the ball ground. Jack's beaming face pleased him greatly, and the words that he overheard some of the boys say about it's being "a shame that Hill was not on the nine," seemed also to comfort him; but without waiting to speak to any one he drew on his coat and started to go.
As he came to the border of the grounds he was surprised as Mr. Crane joined him and said: "You've done well to-day, Hill, and I congratulate you."
"Thank you," said Ward simply, though his face flushed with pleasure at the words.
"You haven't been over to see me yet," continued Mr. Crane. "Can't you come up to my room for a few minutes now?"
"I'm hardly fit for that," said Ward, glancing ruefully at his soiled hands. He knew also that his hair was in disorder38 and that his face bore many tokens of his recent exertions39.
"I understand all that," said Mr. Crane quietly. "If you can spare a few minutes now I should be very glad to have you come. You bear only the honorable signs of battle, and I shall forget them. I want only a few minutes with you."
"I'll come," said Ward simply, as he turned and walked with the teacher, and was soon seated in his room.
"Now, Hill," said Mr. Crane as soon as he too had taken his seat, "I don't want you to think that I'm asking more than I ought, and if you feel that I am you are at liberty not to answer me. But I should be glad to have you tell me why you went down to the ball ground this afternoon and played on the scrub nine. You haven't done that before, have you?"
"No," said Ward quietly.
He was silent a moment, and then, as he looked up, he felt rather than saw that Mr. Crane was regarding him intently. His interest was so apparent that almost before he realized what he was doing Ward had related all his recent troubles to him. He did not mention any names, but he told him of his own feelings when he had listened to his words of the previous interview; also of what "a friend"--for so he referred to Jack--had said to him in the same line. He held nothing back. His own bitterness, his feeling that he had been misunderstood, his discouragement and all came out.
"Hill," said Mr. Crane when Ward at last ended, "I'm greatly pleased with you. You haven't done anything since you came to Weston that has given me such genuine pleasure as that which you have done to-day."
"Why, Mr. Crane," said Ward quickly, his face flushing as he spoke40 and a very suspicious moisture appearing in his eyes, "I didn't know you cared so much about the game. I thought you would be more pleased over my work in the classes."
"I am pleased with both, Hill. I am delighted at the improvement in your class work, and I am no less pleased over what I have seen to-day."
As Ward appeared somewhat mystified and looked questioningly at him, Mr. Crane continued, "The class work is important. You know I would be the last to belittle41 that. But there are many other things to be learned in a school like this. I have been here many years now, and I have had an opportunity to judge of the relative success of the boys as they have gone up to college and out into life, and I must say that many of my old standards of judgment42 have been revised."
"And you don't think that standing43 high in the class is first then?" said Ward eagerly.
"Yes, with you I do, Hill; but first, not all. I want to see every boy do his best, his particular rank in class then becomes a secondary matter. There are some boys who are older when they enter, or much more mature when they are of the same age as their fellows, and of course they do the work more easily and gain a higher standing without much effort. But some students show elements of growth and promise, and although they may not stand so high as some of the others, I can see by the very impetus44 they receive from working faithfully that they are bound to outstrip45 the others in the race of life. Then too, school work only tests a man on one side of his mental make-up. His memory may be strong and he may also be able to perceive and receive, but his ability to create or to carry out plans is not tested in the least, or to a very slight degree. So when he gets out into the world and finds that the world is much more prone46 to ask of him what he can furnish or add to the stock it already has, or what he can do in carrying out his plans, than it is to ask him about his ability to soak in as a sponge does, he doesn't know just what to make of it. Creative ability and executive ability are but slightly tested in school life, and these are the qualities of success far more than mere47 receptive power. I don't know that I make myself clear, using these long words," added Mr. Crane smilingly.
"I think I understand you," said Ward slowly; "but I'd never thought of it in that way before. I always thought if a fellow did well in school he'd be likely to outside."
"And so he will," said Mr. Crane quickly. "You see I didn't make myself clear after all. I think success in the main is in him, not in his surroundings, and if he has ability and exerts it in school it will tell there as well as in any other place. If a boy has ability and applies himself he will succeed in school if success is in him. But on the other hand, because a boy has the special kind of ability to succeed in school work it does not always follow that the same qualities will make his life-work a success. And that is the very reason why I am always glad to see a boy tested and meet the test on every side of his life, even while he is in school."
"And you think I have been tested?"
"Yes; and I think you are meeting the tests. School life and school work are two different things. I want not less of one but more of the other. The discipline of hard study is what you need, Hill; and you need also the discipline which only the boys can give you. No teacher can give it, however much he may try. It's life, not books. Now no discipline for the present seemeth to be joyous48, but grievous. Nevertheless, afterward----"
"Yes, yes, I see," said Ward quickly. "And you think I am learning? Tell me honestly just what you think, Mr. Crane."
"I think you are learning and are doing well in the school life as well as in the school work," replied Mr. Crane cordially, as he rose from his chair, a signal which Ward at once understood.
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1
ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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2
humbles
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| v.使谦恭( humble的第三人称单数 )；轻松打败（尤指强大的对手）；低声下气 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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4
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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5
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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unwillingness
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| n. 不愿意，不情愿 | |
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7
withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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harp
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| n.竖琴；天琴座 | |
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9
willows
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| n.柳树( willow的名词复数 )；柳木 | |
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bolster
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| n.枕垫；v.支持，鼓励 | |
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bravado
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| n.虚张声势，故作勇敢，逞能 | |
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12
whine
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| v.哀号，号哭；n.哀鸣 | |
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13
yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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16
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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17
Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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18
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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19
sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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20
sneaks
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| abbr.sneakers (tennis shoes) 胶底运动鞋（网球鞋）v.潜行( sneak的第三人称单数 )；偷偷溜走；（儿童向成人）打小报告；告状 | |
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21
curry
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| n.咖哩粉，咖哩饭菜；v.用咖哩粉调味，用马栉梳，制革 | |
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22
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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23
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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acquitting
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| 宣判…无罪( acquit的现在分词 )； 使（自己）作出某种表现 | |
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26
intensify
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| vt.加强；变强；加剧 | |
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27
pitcher
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| n.(有嘴和柄的)大水罐；(棒球)投手 | |
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28
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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29
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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30
dodge
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| v.闪开，躲开，避开；n.妙计，诡计 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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32
heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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34
savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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scowl
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| vi.(at)生气地皱眉，沉下脸，怒视；n.怒容 | |
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gall
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| v.使烦恼，使焦躁，难堪；n.磨难 | |
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sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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38
disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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39
exertions
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| n.努力( exertion的名词复数 )；费力；（能力、权力等的）运用；行使 | |
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40
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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41
belittle
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| v.轻视，小看，贬低 | |
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42
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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43
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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44
impetus
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| n.推动，促进，刺激；推动力 | |
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45
outstrip
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| v.超过，跑过 | |
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46
prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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47
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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48
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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