“I have laid the facts of the case,” wrote the demi-god from Mayfair, “before the General Medical Council. I consider this action of mine to partake of the nature of a public duty; for your abuse of your position has been too gross even for medical etiquette2 to cover. I cannot understand how a practitioner3 of your reputation could be so mad as to run so scandalous a risk. That you contracted the disease innocently in the pursuit of duty would have won you the sympathy of your fellow-practitioners. Your concealment4 of the disease puts an immoral5 complexion6 on the case. . . . Needless to say, I have given Major Murray the full benefit of an honest opinion.”
Such a letter from a physician of Dr. Peterson’s standing7 would have been sufficient in itself to demoralize a man of more courage and tenacity8 than Parker Steel. The curt9 declaration of war that reached him from Major Murray, by the very same post, exaggerated the effect that the specialist’s letter had produced.
“Sir,—I have received from Dr. Peterson a statement that convicts you of the most scandalous mal praxis. Needless to say, I am placing the matter in the hands of my solicitor10; I consider it to be a case deserving of publicity11, however repugnant the atmosphere surrounding the affair may be to me and mine.
“Murray.”
Those who have touched the realities of war will tell you that they have seen men with faces pinched as by a frost, their teeth chattering12 like castanets, even under the blaze of an African sun. It was at the breakfast-table that Parker Steel read those two ominous13 letters. The man looked ill and yellow, and his nerves were none too steady, to judge by the way he had gashed14 himself in shaving. The very clothes he wore seemed to have grown creased15 and shabby in a week, as though they felt the wearer’s figure limp and shrunken, and had lost tone in consequence.
It may be remembered that the Immortal16 Three displayed varying symptoms when at grips with death. The tongue of Ortheris waxed feverishly17 profane19; the Yorkshireman broke out into song; Mulvaney, the Paddy, was incontinently sick. Parker Steel emulated20 the Irishman in this eccentricity21 that morning, save that his nausea22 was inspired by panic, and not by heroic rage.
Shaken and very miserable23, he sat down at the bureau in his consulting-room, leaned his head upon his hands, and shivered. For two nights he had had but short snatches of sleep, brief lapses24 into oblivion that had been rendered vain by dreams. The imminent25 dread26 of a hundred ignominies had held him sick and cold through the short darkness of the summer nights. Dawn had come and found him feverish18 and very weary. To a coward it is torture to be alone with his own thoughts.
The third night he had taken sulphonal, a full dose, and had slept till Symons knocked at his bedroom door. The fog of the drug still clung about his brain as he sat at the bureau and tried to think. He seemed incapable27 of putting any purpose into motion, like an exhausted28 battery whose cells have been drained of their electric charge.
Parker Steel picked up a pen after he had crouched29 there silently for some twenty minutes. He opened a drawer, drew out several sheets of note-paper, and began to scribble30 confused, jerky sentences, to alter, to reconsider, and to erase31. The power to determine and to act, even on paper, were lost to him that morning. He wrote two letters, only to tear them up and scatter32 the pieces in the grate, where a lighted match set them burning. He was still on his knees, turning over the charred33 fragments, when the door-bell rang.
The sedate34 Symons came to announce a patient.
“Mrs. Prosser, sir.”
“Tell her I can’t see her.”
Symons stared. Her master had something of the air of an angry dog.
“Tell her I’m busy. She can call again.”
“Yes, sir.”
She still stood in the doorway35, irresolute36, surprised.
“What the devil are you waiting there for, Symons?”
“Nothing, sir.”
And she withdrew, with her dignity balanced on the tip of a very much tilted37 nose.
Parker Steel opened the window wide, and leaning his hands on the sill, looked out into the garden. It was air that he needed—air amid the stifling38 complexities39 of life that were crowding tumultuous upon his future. The garden with the sumptuous40 serenity41 of its trees and flowers had no sympathetic touch for him in his agony of isolation42. It was his loneliness that weighed upon him heavily at that moment. He had outlawed43 himself, as it were, from the heart of his own wife. The very house was a pest-house in which two stricken souls were sundered44 and held apart.
If Betty would only see him. If she could only bring herself to understand that he had acted this disastrous45 part in order to retain the social satisfactions that she loved. Any companionship, even the companionship of a half-estranged wife, seemed preferable to the isolation that he felt deepening about him. He argued that it was his realization46 of Betty’s ambition that had made him dissemble for her sake. Any argument, however suspicious, is pressed into the service of a man whose whole desire is to justify47 himself.
Unfortunately, when a woman’s trust has been once shocked from its foundations, no buttressing48 and underpinning49 can save that superstructure of sentiment that has taken years to build. Betty had kept to her room with no one but Madge Ellison to give her sympathy and advice. The husband had always found the friend embarrassing with her presence any rapprochement between him and his wife.
As he stood at the open window, with the words of the two letters he had read weaving a hopeless tangle50 of bewilderment in his brain, he heard some one descend51 the stairs and go out by the front door into the square. Parker Steel realized that this ubiquitous and embarrassing friend had left Betty alone in the room above. There was some chance at last of his seeing her alone, and of attempting to break down the barrier of her reserve.
He climbed the stairs slowly, and stood listening for several seconds on the landing before turning the handle of his wife’s door. The door was locked.
Parker Steel frowned over the ineptitude52 of the man?uvre. A dramatic entry might at least have given some dignity to the trick. As it was, he felt like a sneaking53 boy who had been balked54 and taken in some none too honorable artifice55.
“Betty.”
“Yes, what is it?”
She was in a chair near the window, reading, with her dark hair spread upon her shoulders. Her mouth hardened as she recognized her husband’s voice. It was the very day, and she remembered it, the day of Lady Sophia’s fashionable bazaar56 when Betty Steel had foreseen the people of Roxton at her feet. She had asked Madge Ellison to bring out the dress that she should have worn. Primrose57 and leaf-green, it hung across the foot-rail of her bed.
“I want to speak to you, Betty.”
“Is there anything that we can discuss?”
The level tenor58 of her voice, its unflurried callousness59, gave him an impression of obstinate60 estrangement61.
“Betty.”
She did not answer.
“Let me in. If you will only give me a chance to justify myself—”
The very words he chose were the words least calculated to move a woman. Betty, lying back in her chair, pictured to herself a cringing62, deprecating figure that could boast none of the passionate63 forcefulness of manhood. A woman may be won by courage and strength, even in the person of the man who has done her wrong; but let her have the repulsion of contempt, and her instinct towards forgiveness will be frozen into an unbending pride.
“I do not wish you to make excuses, Parker.”
“But, Betty—”
“Well?”
“It was for the sake of the home, the practice, everything. Can’t you understand? Can’t you imagine what I have gone through?”
Her momentary64 silence seemed to suggest a sneer65.
“So you would justify a lie?”
“Betty, don’t talk like this. I am worried to death by other matters as it is.”
“I can understand that perfectly66.”
He began to pace the landing, halting irresolutely67 from time to time before the locked door.
“I have heard from Peterson this morning.”
No reply.
“He is reporting the matter to the General Council, and he has given the truth away to Murray. You know what that must mean.”
Still no reply.
“Betty.”
Had he been able to see the cynical68 smile upon her face, Parker Steel might have understood that by acting69 the suppliant70 for her pity he only intensified71 her contempt.
“Betty, is this fair to me?”
He shook the door with a sudden gust72 of petulant73 impatience74.
“Show me some little consideration. I have some right to demand—”
“Demand what you please, Parker, but oblige me by not making so much noise.”
“You will regret this.”
His voice was harsh now and beyond control.
“I have regretted much already.”
“Your marriage, I suppose?”
“There is no need, Parker, to indulge in details.”
“This is beyond my patience!”
“And mine, I assure you.”
He turned, and retreated from the attack at the same moment that Madge Ellison reappeared upon the stairs. They passed each other without a word; the woman, clear-eyed and uncompromising; the man gliding75 close to the wall. Madge Ellison found Betty sitting with closed eyes before the open window, the June sunshine dappling the bosoms76 of the tall trees in the square with gold.
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1
heralding
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| v.预示( herald的现在分词 )；宣布（好或重要） | |
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etiquette
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| n.礼仪，礼节；规矩 | |
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practitioner
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| n.实践者，从事者；(医生或律师等)开业者 | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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immoral
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| adj.不道德的，淫荡的，荒淫的，有伤风化的 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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tenacity
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| n.坚韧 | |
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curt
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| adj.简短的，草率的 | |
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solicitor
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| n.初级律师，事务律师 | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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gashed
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| v.划伤，割破( gash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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creased
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| （使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的过去式和过去分词 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹； 皱皱巴巴 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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feverishly
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| adv. 兴奋地 | |
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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emulated
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| v.与…竞争( emulate的过去式和过去分词 )；努力赶上；计算机程序等仿真；模仿 | |
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21
eccentricity
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| n.古怪，反常，怪癖 | |
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nausea
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| n.作呕，恶心；极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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23
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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24
lapses
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| n.失误，过失( lapse的名词复数 )；小毛病；行为失检；偏离正道v.退步( lapse的第三人称单数 )；陷入；倒退；丧失 | |
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25
imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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29
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30
scribble
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| v.潦草地书写，乱写，滥写；n.潦草的写法，潦草写成的东西，杂文 | |
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31
erase
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| v.擦掉；消除某事物的痕迹 | |
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32
scatter
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| vt.撒，驱散，散开；散布/播；vi.分散，消散 | |
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33
charred
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| v.把…烧成炭( char的过去式)；烧焦 | |
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34
sedate
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| adj.沉着的，镇静的，安静的 | |
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35
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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36
irresolute
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| adj.无决断的，优柔寡断的，踌躇不定的 | |
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37
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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stifling
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| a.令人窒息的 | |
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39
complexities
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| 复杂性(complexity的名词复数)； 复杂的事物 | |
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40
sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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41
serenity
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| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
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42
isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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43
outlawed
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| 宣布…为不合法（outlaw的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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44
sundered
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| v.隔开，分开( sunder的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45
disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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46
realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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47
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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48
buttressing
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| v.用扶壁支撑，加固( buttress的现在分词 ) | |
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49
underpinning
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| n.基础材料；基础结构；（学说、理论等的）基础；（人的）腿v.用砖石结构等从下面支撑（墙等）( underpin的现在分词 )；加固（墙等）的基础；为（论据、主张等）打下基础；加强 | |
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50
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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51
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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52
ineptitude
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| n.不适当；愚笨，愚昧的言行 | |
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53
sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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54
balked
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| v.畏缩不前，犹豫( balk的过去式和过去分词 )；（指马）不肯跑 | |
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55
artifice
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| n.妙计，高明的手段；狡诈，诡计 | |
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56
bazaar
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| n.集市，商店集中区 | |
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57
primrose
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| n.樱草，最佳部分， | |
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58
tenor
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| n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意 | |
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59
callousness
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60
obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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61
estrangement
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| n.疏远，失和，不和 | |
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62
cringing
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| adj.谄媚，奉承 | |
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63
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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64
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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65
sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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66
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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67
irresolutely
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| adv.优柔寡断地 | |
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68
cynical
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| adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的，不信世道向善的 | |
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69
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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70
suppliant
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| adj.哀恳的；n.恳求者，哀求者 | |
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71
intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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72
gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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73
petulant
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| adj.性急的，暴躁的 | |
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74
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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75
gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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76
bosoms
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| 胸部( bosom的名词复数 )； 胸怀； 女衣胸部（或胸襟）； 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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