The Kirk of Crossmichael sits, like that of Balmaghie, on a little green hill above Dee Water. One House of Prayer fronts the other, and the white kirkyard stones greet each other across the river, telling the one story of earth to earth. And every Sabbath day across the sluggish1 stream two songs of praise go up to heaven in united aspiration2 towards one Eternal father.
But this 30th of December there was for Quintin MacClellan small community of lofty fellowship across the water in Crossmichael. It was to me of all days the day bitterest and{226} blackest. I have indeed good cause to remember it.
Right well was I advised that, so far as the ministers of the Presbytery were concerned, there was no hope of any outcome favourable3 to me. They had only been scared from their prey4 for a moment by the stern threatening of the folk of the parish. The People’s Paper in particular had frightened them like a sentence of death. But now they were free to make an end.
My brother Hob was keen to head a band pledged to keep them out of Crossmichael Kirk also. But I forbade him to cross the water.
“Keep your own kirk and your own parish bounds if ye like, but meddle5 not with those of your neighbours!” I told him. “Besides ye would only drive them to another place, where yet more bitterly they would finish their appointed work!”
But though the former stress of trial was over, this day of quiet was far harder to bear than the day before. For, then, with the excitation of battle, the plaudits of the people, the quick necessities of verbal defence against many adversaries7, my spirits were kept up. But now there was none in the manse beside{227} myself, and I took to wandering up and down the little sequestered8 kirk-loaning, thinking how that by this time the Presbytery was met to speed my doom9, and that the pleasant place which knew me now would soon know me no more for ever.
As I lingered at the road-end, thinking how much I would have given for a heartening word, and vaguely10 resolving to betake me over to the house of Drumglass, where at the least I was sure of companionship and consolation11, I chanced to cast my eyes to the southward, and there along the light grey riverside track I beheld12 a lady riding.
As she came nearer, I saw that it was none other than Mistress Mary Gordon. I thought I had never seen her look winsomer—a rounded lissom13 form, a perfect seat, a dainty and well-ordered carriage.
I stood still where I was and waited for her to pass me. I had my hat in my hand, and in my heart I counted on nothing but that she should ride by me as though she saw me not.
But on the contrary, she reined14 her horse and sat waiting for me to speak to her.
So I went to her bridle-rein and looked up at the face, and lo! it was kindlier than ever I{228} had seen it before, with a sort of loving pity on it which I found it very hard to bear.
“Will you let me walk by your side a little way?” I asked of her. For as we had parted without a farewell, so on this bitterest day we met again without greeting.
“My Lady Mary,” I said at last, “I have gone through much since I went out from your house at Earlstoun. I have yet much to win through. We parted in anger but let us meet in peace. I am a man outcast and friendless, save for these foolish few in this parish who to their cost have made my quarrel theirs.”
At this she looked right kindly15 down upon me and paused a little before she answered.
“Quintin,” she said, “there is no anger in my heart anywhere. There is only a great wae. I have come from the place of Balmaghie where my cousin Kate of Lochinvar waits her good father’s passing.”
“And ride you home to the Earlstoun alone?” I asked.
“Aye,” she said, a little wistfully. And the saying cheered me. For this river way was not the girl’s straight road homeward, and it came to me that mayhap Mary Gordon had wished to meet and comfort me in my sorrow.{229}
“My father is abroad, we know not well where,” she said, “or doubtless he would gladly support you in the way that you have chosen. Perhaps your way is not my way, but it must be a good way of its kind, the way of a man’s conscience.”
She reached down a hand to me, which I took and pressed gratefully enough.
It was then that we came in sight of the white house of Drumglass sitting above the water-meadows. At the first glimpse of it the Lady Mary drew away her hand from mine.
“Is it true,” she said, looking at the blue ridges16 of Cairnsmore in the distance, “that which I have been told, that you are to wed17 a daughter of that house?”
I inclined my head without speech. I knew that the bitterest part of my punishment was now come upon me.
“And did you come straight from the Earlstoun to offer her also your position, your well-roofed manse, your income good as that of any laird?”
We had stopped in a sheltered place by the river where the hazel bushes are many and the gorse grows long and rank, mingling18 with the bloom and the fringing bog-myrtle.{230}
“My Lady Mary,” said I, after a pause, “I offered her not anything. I had nothing to offer. But in time of need she let me see the warmth of her heart and—I had none other comfort!”
“Then upon this day of days why are you not by her side, that her love may ease the smart of your bitter outcasting?”
“In yonder kirk mine enemies work my doom,” said I, pointing over the water, “and ere another sun rise I shall be no more minister of Balmaghie, but a homeless man, without either a rooftree or a reeking19 ingle. I have nothing to offer any woman. Why should I claim this day any woman’s love?”
“Ah,” she said, giving me the strangest look, “it is her hour. For if she loves you, she would fly to-day to share your dry crust, your sapless bite. See,” she cried, stretching out her hand with a large action, “if Mary Gordon loved a man, she would follow him in her sark to the world’s end. If so be his eyes had looked the deathless love into hers, his tongue told of love, love, only of love. Ah, that alone is worth calling love which feeds full on the scorns of life and grows lusty on black misfortune!”{231}
“Lady Mary——” I began.
But she interrupted me, dashing her hand furtively20 to her face.
She pointed6 up towards the house of Drumglass.
“Yonder lies your way, Quintin MacClellan! Go to the woman you love—who loves you.”
She lifted the reins21 from the horse’s neck and would have started forward, but again I had gotten her hand. Yet I only bent22 and kissed it without word, reverently23 and sadly as one kisses the brow of the dead.
She moved away without anger and with her eyes downcast. But on the summit of a little hill she half turned about in her saddle and spoke24 a strange word.
“Quintin,” she said, “wherefore could ye not have waited? Wherefore kenned25 ye no better than to take a woman at her first word?”
And with that she set the spurs to her beast and went up the road toward the ford26 at the gallop27, till almost I feared to watch her.
For a long time I stood sadly enough looking after her. And I grant that my heart was{232} like lead within me. My spirit had no power in it. I cried out to God to let me die. For it was scarce a fair thing that she should have spoken that word now when it was too late.
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1
sluggish
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| adj.懒惰的，迟钝的，无精打采的 | |
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2
aspiration
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| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
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3
favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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4
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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5
meddle
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| v.干预，干涉，插手 | |
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6
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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7
adversaries
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| n.对手，敌手( adversary的名词复数 ) | |
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8
sequestered
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| adj.扣押的；隐退的；幽静的；偏僻的v.使隔绝，使隔离( sequester的过去式和过去分词 )；扣押 | |
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9
doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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10
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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11
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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12
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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13
lissom
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| adj.柔软的，轻快而优雅的 | |
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14
reined
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| 勒缰绳使（马）停步( rein的过去式和过去分词 )； 驾驭； 严格控制； 加强管理 | |
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15
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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16
ridges
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| n.脊( ridge的名词复数 )；山脊；脊状突起；大气层的)高压脊 | |
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17
wed
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| v.娶，嫁，与…结婚 | |
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18
mingling
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| adj.混合的 | |
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19
reeking
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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20
furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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21
reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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22
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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23
reverently
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| adv.虔诚地 | |
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24
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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25
kenned
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| v.知道( ken的过去式和过去分词 )；懂得；看到；认出 | |
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26
Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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27
gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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