For, as I turned me about to go back the way I came, there by the copse side, where the broom grew highest, stood Jean Gemmell, with a face suddenly drawn1 thin, grey-white and wan2 like the melting snow.
“Jean!” I cried, “what do ye there?”
She tried to smile, but her eyes had a fixed3 and glassy look, and she seemed to be mastering herself so that she might speak.
I think that she had a speech prepared in her heart, for several times she strove to begin, and the words were always the same. But at last all that she could say was no more than this, “You love her?”
And with a little hand she pointed4 to where the Lady Mary had disappeared. I could{234} see it shaking like a willow5 leaf as she held it out.
“Jean,” said I, kindly6 as I could, “what brought you so far from home on such a bitter day? It is not fit. You will get your death of cold.”
“I have gotten my death,” she said, with a little gasping7 laugh, “I have gotten my sentence. Do not I take it well?”
And she tried to smile again.
Then I went quickly to her, and caught her by the hand, and put my arm about her. For I feared that she would fall prostrate8 where she stood. Notwithstanding, she kept on smiling through unshed tears, and never for a moment took her eyes off my face.
“I heard what you and she said. Yes, I listened. A great lady would not have listened. But I am no better than a little cot-house lass, and I spied upon you. Yes, I hid among the broom. You will never forgive me.”
I tried to hush10 her with kind words, but somehow they seemed to pass her by. I think she did not even hear them.
“You love her,” she said; “yes, I know it. Jonita told me that from the first—that I could never be your wife, though I had led you on.{235} Yes, I own it. I tried to win you. A great lady would not. But I did. I threw myself in your way. Shamelessly I cast myself—Jonita says it—into your arms!——
“Ah, God!” she broke off with a little frantic11 cry, sinking her head between her palms quickly, and then flinging her arms down. “And would I not have cast myself under your feet as readily, that you might trample12 me? I know I am not long for this world. I ken13 that I have bartered14 away eternity16 for naught17. I have lied to God. And why not? You that are a minister, tell me why not? Would not I gladly barter15 all heaven for one hour of your love on earth? You may despise me, but I loved you. Yes, she is great, fair, full of length of days and pride of life—the Lord of Earlstoun’s daughter. Yet—and yet—and yet, she could not love you better than I. In that I defy her!
“And she shall have you—yes, I will give you up to her. For that is the one way an ignorant lass can love. They tell me that by to-morrow you will be no longer minister. You will be put out of the manse like a bird out of a harried18 nest. And at first I was glad when I heard it. For (thought I) he will come{236} and tell me. We will be poor together. She said the truth, for indeed she knoweth somewhat, this Lady Mary—‘Love is not possessions!’ No, but it is possessing. And I had but one—but one! And that she has taken away from me.”
She lifted her kerchief to her lips, for all suddenly a fit of coughing had taken her.
In a moment she drew it away, glanced at it quickly, and lo! it was stained with a clear and brilliant red.
Then she laughed abruptly19, a strange, hollow-sounding little laugh.
“I am glad—glad,” she said. “Ah! this is my warrant for departure. Well do I ken the sign, for I mind when my brother Andrew saw it first. Quintin, dear lad, you will get her yet, and with honour.”
“Come, Jean,” said I, gently as I could, “the air is shrewd. You are ill and weak. Lean on my arm, and I will take you home.”
She looked up at me with dry, brilliant eyes. There was nothing strange about them save that the lids seemed swollen20 and unnaturally21 white.
“Quintin,” she made answer, smiling, “it was foolish from the first, was it not, lad o’ my{237} love? Did you ever say a sweet thing to me, like one that comes courting a lass in the gloaming? Say it now to me, will you not? I would like to hear how it would have sounded.”
I was silent. I seemed to have no words to answer her with.
She laughed a little.
“I forgot. Pardon me, Quintin. You are in trouble to-day—deep trouble. I should not add to it. It is I who should say loving things to you. But then—then—you would care more for flouts22 and anger from her than for all the naked sweetness of poor Jean Gemmell’s heart.”
And the very pitifulness of her voice drew a cry of anger out of my breast. At the first sound of it she stopped and leaned back in my arms to look into my face. Then she put up her hand very gently and patted me tenderly on the cheek like one that comforts a fretful fractious child.
“I vex23 you,” she said, “you that have overmuch to vex you. But I shall not vex you long. See,” she said, “there is the door. Yonder is my father standing9 by it. He is looking at us under his hand. There is Jonita, too, and your brother Hob. Shall we go and tell{238} them that this is all a mistake, that there is to be no more between us?—that we are free—free, both of us—you to wed24 the Lady Mary, I to keep my tryst—to keep my tryst—with Death!”
At the last words her voice sank to a whisper.
Something broke in her throat and seemed to choke her. She fell back in my arms with her kerchief again to her mouth.
They saw us from the door, and Alexander-Jonita came flying towards us like the wind over the short grass of the meadow.
Jean took her kerchief away, without looking at it this time. She lifted her eyes to mine and smiled very sweetly.
“I am glad—glad,” she whispered; “do not be sorry, Quintin. But do just this one thing for me, will you, lad—but only this one thing. Do not tell them. Let us pretend. Would it be wrong, think you, to pretend a little that you love me? You are a minister, and should know. But, if you could—why, it would be so sweet. And then it would not be for long, Quintin.”
She spoke25 coaxingly26, and withal most tenderly.
“Jean, I do love you!” I cried.{239}
And for the first time in my life I meant it. She seemed to be like my sister Anna to me.
By this time, seeing Jonita coming, she had recovered herself somewhat and taken my arm. At my words she pressed it a little, and smiled.
“Oh,” she said, “you need not begin yet. Only before them. I want them to think that you love me a little, you see. Is it not small and foolish of me?”
“But I do—I do truly love you, Jean,” I cried. “Did you ever know me to tell a lie?”
She smiled again and nodded, like one who smiles at a child who has well learned his lesson.
Alexander-Jonita came rushing up.
“Jean, Jean, where have you been? What is the matter?”
“I have been meeting Quintin,” she said, with a bright and heavenly look; “he has been telling me how he loves me.”
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收听单词发音
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1
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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2
wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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3
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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4
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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5
willow
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| n.柳树 | |
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6
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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7
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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8
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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9
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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10
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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11
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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12
trample
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| vt.踩，践踏；无视，伤害，侵犯 | |
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13
ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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14
bartered
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| v.作物物交换，以货换货( barter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
barter
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| n.物物交换，以货易货，实物交易 | |
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16
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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17
naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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18
harried
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| v.使苦恼( harry的过去式和过去分词 )；不断烦扰；一再袭击；侵扰 | |
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19
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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20
swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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21
unnaturally
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| adv.违反习俗地；不自然地；勉强地；不近人情地 | |
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22
flouts
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| v.藐视，轻视( flout的第三人称单数 ) | |
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23
vex
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| vt.使烦恼，使苦恼 | |
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24
wed
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| v.娶，嫁，与…结婚 | |
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25
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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26
coaxingly
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| adv. 以巧言诱哄，以甘言哄骗 | |
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