The shock had come so suddenly that it had deprived him of the power of reasoning, of following the thing out to its logical conclusion. As he walked on, threading his way along the crowded thoroughfare, and exciting no little attention and remark by his wild, distraught appearance, he realized that he had lost Stella.
He realized that he had lost the beautiful girl who had stolen into his heart and absorbed his love. And the manner of his losing her made the loss so bitter! That a man, that such a creature as this Jasper Adelstone, should come between them was terrible. If it had been any other, who was in some fashion his own equal—Charlie Guildford, for instance, a gentleman and a nobleman—it would have been bad enough, but he could have understood it. He would have felt that he had been fairly beaten; but Jasper Adelstone!
Then it was so evident that love was not altogether the reason of her treachery and desertion; there was something else; some secret which gave that man a hold over her. He stopped short in the most crowded part of the Strand2, and put his hand to his brow and groaned3.
To think that his Stella, his beautiful child-love, whom he had deemed an angel for innocence4, should share a secret with such a man. And what was it? Was there shame connected with it? He shuddered5 as the suspicion crossed his mind and smote6 upon his heart. What had she done to place her so utterly7 in Jasper Adelstone's hands? What was it? The question harassed8 and worried him to the exclusion9 of all other sides of the case.
Was it something that had occurred before he, Leycester, had met her? She had known this Jasper Adelstone before she knew Leycester; but he remembered her speaking of him as a conceited10, self-opinioned young man; he remembered the light scorn with which she had described him.
No, it could not have happened thus early. When then? and where was it? He could find no solution to the question; but the terrible result remained, that she had delivered herself, body[210] and soul, into the hands of Jasper Adelstone, and was lost to him, Leycester!
Striking along, careless of where he was going, he found himself at last in Pall11 Mall. He entered one of his clubs, and went to the smoking-room. There he lit a cigar, and took out the marriage license12 and looked at it long and absently. If all had gone right, Stella would have been his, if not by this time, a very little later, and they would have gone to Italy, they two, together and alone—with happiness.
But now it was all changed—the cup had been dashed from his lips at the last moment, and by—Jasper Adelstone!
He sat, with the unsmoked cigar in his fingers, his head drooped13 upon his breast, the nightmare of the secret mystery pressing on his shoulders. It was not only the loss of Stella, it was the feeling that she had deceived him that was so bitter to bear; it was the existence of the secret understanding between the two that so utterly overwhelmed him. He could have married Stella though she had been a beggar in the streets, but he could have no part or lot in the woman who shared a secret with such a one as Jasper Adelstone.
The smoking-room footman hovered15 about, glancing covertly16 and curiously17 at the motionless figure in the deep arm-chair; acquaintances sauntered in and gave him good-bye; but Leycester sat brooding over his sorrow and disappointment, and made no response.
A more miserable18 young man it would have been impossible to find in all London than this viscount and heir to an earldom, with all his immense wealth and proud hereditary19 titles.
The afternoon came, hot and sultry, and to him suffocating20. The footman, beginning to be seriously alarmed by the quiescence21 of the silent figure, was just considering whether it was not his duty to bring him some refreshment22, or rouse him by offering him the paper, when Leycester rose, much to the man's relief, and walked out.
Within the last few minutes he had decided23 upon some course of action. He could not stay in London, he could not remain in England; he would go abroad—go right out of the way, and try and forget. He smiled to himself at the word, as if he should ever forget the beautiful face that had lain upon his breast, the exquisite24 eyes that had poured the lovelight into his, the sweet girl-voice that had murmured its maiden26 confession27 in his ear!
He called a cab, and told the man to drive to Waterloo; caught a train, threw himself into a corner of the carriage, and gave himself up to the bitterness of despair.
Dinner was just over when his tall figure passed along the terrace, and the ladies were standing14 under the drawing-room veranda28 enjoying the sunset. A little apart from the rest stood Lenore. She was leaning against one of the iron columns, her dress of white cashmere and satin trimmed with pearls standing out daintily and fairy-like against the mass of ferns and flowers behind her.
She was leaning in the most graceful29 air of abandon, her[211] sunshade lying at her feet, her hands folded with an indolent air of rest on her lap; there was a serene30 smile upon her lips, a delicate languor31 in her violet eyes, an altogether at-peace-with-all-the-world expression which was in direct contrast with the faint expression of anxiety which rested on the handsome face of the countess.
Every now and then, as the proud and haughty32 woman, but anxious mother, chatted and laughed with the women around her, her gaze wandered to the open country with an absent, almost fearful expression, and once, as the sound of a carriage was heard on the drive, she was actually guilty of a start.
But the carriage was only that of one of the guests, and the countess sighed and turned to her duties again. Lenore, with head thrown back, watched her with a lazy smile. She was suffering likewise, but she had something tangible34 to fear, something definite to hope; the mother knew nothing, but feared all things.
Presently Lady Wyndward happened to come within the scope of Lenore's voice.
"You look tired to-night, dear," she said.
The countess smiled, wearily.
"I will admit a little headache," she said; then she looked at the lovely indolent face. "You look well enough, Lenore!"
Lady Lenore smiled, curiously.
"Do you think so!" she answered. "Suppose I also confessed a headache!"
"I should outdo you even then," said the countess, with a sigh, "for I have a heartache!"
Lenore put out her hand, white and glittering with pearls and diamonds, and laid it on the elder woman's arm with a little caressing35 gesture peculiar36 to her.
"Tell me dear," she whispered.
The countess shook her head.
"I cannot," she said, with a sigh. "I scarcely know myself. I am quite in the dark, but I know that something has happened or is happening. You know that Leycester went suddenly yesterday?"
Lady Lenore moved her head in assent37.
The countess sighed.
"I am always fearful of him."
Lenore laughed, softly.
"So am I. But I am not fearful on this occasion. Wait until he comes back."
The countess shook her head.
"When will that be? I am afraid not for some time!"
"I think he will come back to-night," said Lenore, with a smile that was too placid38 to be confident or boastful.
The countess smiled and looked at her.
"You are a strange girl, Lenore," she said. "What makes you think that?"
Lenore turned the bracelet39 on her arm.
"Something seems to whisper to me that he will come," she said. "Look!" And she just moved her hand toward the terrace.[212] Leycester was coming slowly up the broad stone steps.
Lady Wyndward made a move forward, but Lenore's hand closed over her arm, and she stopped and looked at her.
Lenore shook her head, smiling softly.
"Better not," she murmured, scarcely above her breath. "Not yet. Leave him alone. Something has happened as you surmised40. I have such keen eyes, you know, and can see his face."
So could Lady Wyndward by this time, and her own turned white at sight of the pale, haggard face.
"Do not go to him," whispered Lenore, "do not stop him. Leave him alone; it is good advice."
Lady Wyndward felt instinctively41 that it was, and so that she might not be tempted42 to disregard it, she turned away and went into the house.
Leycester came along the terrace, and raising his eyes, heavy and clouded, saw the ladies, but he only raised his hat and passed on. Then he came to where the figure in white, glimmering43 with pearls and diamonds, leaned against the column and he hesitated a moment, but there was no look of invitation in her eyes, only a faint smile, and he merely raised his hat again and passed on; but, half unconsciously, he had taken in the loveliness and grace of the picture that she made, and that was all that she desired for the present.
With heavy steps he crossed the hall, climbed the stairs, and entered his own room.
His man Oliver, who had been waiting for him and hanging about, came in softly, but stole out again at sight of the dusky figure lying wearily on the chair; but presently Leycester called him and he went back.
"Get a bath ready, Oliver," he said, "and pack a portmanteau; we shall leave to-night."
"Very good, my lord," was the quiet response, and then he went to prepare the bath.
Leycester got up and strode to and fro. Though she had never entered his rooms, the apartments seemed full of her; from the easel stared the disfigured Venus which he had daubed out on the first night he had seen her. On the table, in an Etruscan vase of crystal, were some of the wild flowers which her hand had plucked, her lips had pressed. These he took—not fiercely but solemnly—and threw out of the window.
Suddenly there floated upon the air the strains of solemn music. He started. He had almost forgotten Lilian; the great sorrow and misery44 had almost driven her from his memory. He sat the vase down upon the table, and went to her room; she knew his knock, and bade him come in, still playing.
But as he entered, she stopped suddenly, and the smile which had flown to her face to welcome him disappeared.
"Ley!" she breathed, looking up at his pale, haggard face and dark-rimmed eyes; "what has happened? What is the matter?"
He stood beside her, and bent45 and kissed her; his lips were dry and burning.
[213]
"Ley! Ley!" she murmured, and put her white arm round his neck to draw him down to her, "what is it?"
Then she scanned him with loving anxiety.
"How tired you look, Ley! Where have you been? Sit down!"
He sank into a low seat at her feet, and motioned to the piano.
"Go on playing," he said.
She started at his hoarse46, dry voice, but turned to the piano, and played softly, and presently she knew, rather than saw, that he had hidden his face in his hands.
Then she stopped and bent over him.
"Now tell me, Ley!" she murmured.
He looked up with a bitter smile that cut her to the heart.
"It is soon told, Lil," he said, in a low voice, "and it is only an old, old story!"
"Ley!"
"I can tell you—I could tell only you, Lil—in a very few words. I have loved—and been deceived."
She did not speak, but she put her hand on his head where it lay like a peaceful benediction47.
"I have staked my all, all my happiness and peace, upon a cast and have lost. I am very badly hit, and naturally I feel it very badly for a time!"
"Ley!" she murmured, reproachfully, "you must not talk to me like this; speak from your heart."
"I haven't any left, Lil!" he said; "there is only an aching void where my heart used to be. I lost it weeks ago—or was it months or years? I can't tell which now!—and she to whom I gave it, she whom I thought an angel of purity, a dove of innocence, has thrown it in the dirt and trampled48 upon it!"
"Ley, Ley, you torture me! Of whom are you speaking?"
"Of whom should I be speaking but the one woman the world holds for me?"
"Lenore!" she murmured, incredulously.
"Lenore!" and he laughed bitterly. "No; she did not pronounce her name so. I am speaking and thinking of Stella Etheridge."
Her hand trembled, but she did not withdraw it.
"Stella?"
"Yes," he said, and his lips twitched49. "A star. A star that will shine in another man's bosom50, not in mine as I, fool that I was, dreamed that it would. Lil, I believe that there is only one good woman in the world, and she sits near me now."
"Oh, Ley, Ley—but tell me!"
"There is so little to tell," he said, wearily. "I cannot tell you all. This will suffice, that to-night I expected and hoped to have been able to call her my wife, instead—well, you see, I am sitting here!"
"Your wife?" she murmured. "Stella Etheridge your wife. Was that—that wise, Ley?"
"Wise! What have I to do with wisdom?" he retorted. "I loved her—loved her passionately51, madly, as I never, nor shall[214] ever, love another woman! Heaven help me, I love her now! Don't you see that is the worst part of it. I know, as surely as I am sitting here, that my life has gone. It has gone to pieces on the rocks like a goodly ship, and there is an end of it!"
There was silence for a moment, then she spoke52, and, woman-like, her thoughts were of the woman.
"But she, Ley? How is it with her?"
He laughed again, and the gentle girl shuddered.
"Don't Ley," she murmured.
"She will be all right," he said. "Women are made like that—all excepting one," and he touched her dress.
"And yet—and yet," she murmured, troubled and sorrowful, "now I look back I am sure that she loved you, Ley! I remember her face, the look of her eyes, the way she spoke your name. Oh, Ley, she loved you!"
"She did—perhaps. She loves me now so well, that on our wedding-day—wedding-day!—she allows a man to step in between us and claim her as his own!"
Maddened by the memory which her words had called up he would have risen, but she held him down with a gentle hand.
"A man! What man, Ley?"
"One called Jasper Adelstone, a lawyer; a man it would be gross flattery to call even a gentleman! Think of it, Lil. Picture it! I wait to receive my bride, and instead of it happening so, I am sent for to meet her at this man's chambers53. There I am informed that all is over between us, and that she is the affianced wife of Mr. Jasper Adelstone."
"But the reason—the reason?"
"There is none!" he exclaimed, rising and pacing the room, "I am vouchsafed54 no reason. The bare facts are deemed sufficient for me. I am cast adrift, as something no longer necessary or needful, without word of reason or even of rhyme!" and he laughed.
She was silent for a moment, then a murmur25 broke from her lips.
"Poor girl!"
He stooped and looked down at her.
"Do not waste your pity, Lil," he said, with a grim smile. "With her own lips she declared that what she did she did of her own free will!"
"With this man standing by her side?"
He started, then he shook his head.
"I know what you mean!" he said, hoarsely55. "And do you not see that that is the worst of it. She is in his power; there is some secret understanding between them. Can I marry a woman who is in another man's power so completely that she is forced to break her word to me, to jilt me for him!—can I?"
His voice was so hoarse and harsh as to be almost inarticulate, and he stood with outstretched, appealing hands, as if demanding an answer.
What could she say? For a moment she was silent, then she put out her hand to him.
"And you have left her with him, Ley?"
[215]
The question sent all the blood from his face.
"Yes," he said, wearily, "I have left her with her future husband. Possibly, probably, by this time she has become his wife. One man can procure56 a marriage license as easily as another."
"You did that! What would papa and my mother have said?" she murmured.
He laughed.
"What did, what should I care? I tell you I loved her madly; you do not know, cannot understand what such love means! Know, then, Lil, that I would rather have died than lose her—that, having lost her, life has become void and barren for me—that the days and hours until I forget her will be so much time of torture and regret, and vain, useless longing57. I shall see her face, hear her voice, wherever I may be, in the day or in the night; and no pleasure, no pain will efface58 her from my memory or my heart."
"Oh, Ley!—my poor Ley!"
"Thus it is with me. And now I have come to say 'good-bye.'"
"Good-bye. You are going—where?"
"Where?" he echoed, with the same discordant59 laugh. "I neither know nor care. I am afraid all places will be alike for awhile. The whole earth is full of her; there is not a wild flower that will not remind me of her, not a sound of music that will not recall her voice. If I meet a woman I shall compare her with my Stella—my Stella! no, Jasper Adelstone's! Oh, Heaven! I could bear all but that. If she were dead, I should have at least one comfort—the consolation60 of knowing that she had belonged to no other man—that in some other remote world we might meet again, and I might claim her as mine! But that is denied to me. My white angel is stained and besmirched61, and is mine no longer!"
Worn out by the passion of his grief, he dropped on the seat at her feet, and hid his face in his hands.
She put her arm round his neck, but spoke no word. Words at such moments are like gnats62 round a wound—they can only irritate, they cannot heal.
They sat thus motionless for some minutes, then he rose, calmer but very white and worn.
"This is weak of me, worse than weak, inconsiderate, Lil," he said, with a wan33 smile. "You have so much of your own sorrows that you should be spared the recital63 of other people's woes64. I will go now. Good-bye, Lil!"
"Oh, what can I do for you?" she murmured. "My dear! My dear!"
He stooped and kissed her, and looked down at her pale face so full of sorrow for his sorrow, and his heart grew calmer and more resigned.
"Nothing, Lil," he said.
"Yes," she said in a low voice; "if I can do nothing else I can pray for you, Ley!"
He smiled and stroked her hair.
[216]
"You are an angel, Lil," he said, softly. "If all women were made like you, there would be no sin and little sorrow in the world. In the future that lies black and drear before me I shall think of you. Yes, pray for me, Lil. Good-bye!" and he kissed her again.
She held him to the last, then when he had gone she buried her face in her hands and cried. But suddenly she sat up and touched the bell that stood near her.
"Crying will do no good for my Ley," she murmured. "I must do more than that. Oh, if I could be strong and hale like other girls for an hour, one short hour! But I will, I must do something! I cannot see him suffer so and do nothing!"
Her one special maid, a girl who had been with her since her childhood and knew every mood and change in her, came in and hurried to her side at the sight of her tear-dimmed eyes.
"Oh, Lady Lilian, what is the matter? You have been crying!"
"A little, Jeanette," she said, smiling through her tears. "I am in great trouble—Lord Leycester is in great trouble——"
"I have just met him, my lady, looking so ill and worried."
"Yes, Jeanette; he is in great trouble, and I want to help him," and then, with fear and trembling, she announced an intention she had suddenly formed. Jeanette was aghast for a time, but at last she yielded, and hurried away to make the preparation for the execution of her beloved mistress's wishes.
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1
bereft
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| adj.被剥夺的 | |
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strand
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| vt.使（船）搁浅，使（某人）困于（某地） | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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harassed
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| adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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exclusion
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| n.拒绝，排除，排斥，远足，远途旅行 | |
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conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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pall
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| v.覆盖，使平淡无味；n.柩衣，棺罩；棺材；帷幕 | |
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license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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13
drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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covertly
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| adv.偷偷摸摸地 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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suffocating
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| a.使人窒息的 | |
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quiescence
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| n.静止 | |
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refreshment
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| n.恢复，精神爽快，提神之事物；（复数）refreshments:点心，茶点 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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tangible
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| adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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bracelet
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| n.手镯，臂镯 | |
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surmised
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的过去式和过去分词 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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glimmering
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| n.微光，隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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46
hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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benediction
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| n.祝福；恩赐 | |
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48
trampled
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| 踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 )； 践踏； 无视； 侵犯 | |
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twitched
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| vt.& vi.（使）抽动，（使）颤动（twitch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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50
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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51
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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52
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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53
chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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54
vouchsafed
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| v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺 | |
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55
hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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56
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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57
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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58
efface
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| v.擦掉，抹去 | |
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59
discordant
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| adj.不调和的 | |
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60
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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61
besmirched
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| v.弄脏( besmirch的过去式和过去分词 )；玷污；丑化；糟蹋（名誉等） | |
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62
gnats
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| n.叮人小虫( gnat的名词复数 ) | |
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63
recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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64
woes
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| 困境( woe的名词复数 )； 悲伤； 我好苦哇； 某人就要倒霉 | |
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