I had covered half the distance to the apple-tree, when I heard a sound of voices. They came from behind the tool-house. I fisted my hands and listened. A man and woman were conversing2, but in such low tones that I could hear nothing that was said. I made sure they were thieves who had heard about my hen, and had come to rob me. I looked back at the windows of our house. All the blinds were lowered; everyone was sleeping. There was no sign of life anywhere, save the hopping3 of early risen blackbirds between bushes in search of early risen worms. With a quickly beating heart I crouched4 beside the wall, advancing under cover of a row of sunflowers. Looking out from between their stalks, I discovered a man sitting on a wheelbarrow; a woman was balanced on his knee with her arm about his neck. The woman was Hetty and the man was our gardener.
Hetty was wearing her starched5 print-dress, ready to begin her morning’s work. She wasn’t a bit scornful or solemn, but was laughing and wriggling6 and tossing her head. She seemed quite a different person from the stern, moral housemaid, God’s intimate friend, who told me everything that God had thought about me through the day when at night she was putting me to bed. Up to that moment it had never occurred to me that she was pretty, but now her cheeks were flushed and the sun was in her rumpled7 hair. While I watched, our gardener drew her close and kissed her. She squeaked8 like a little mouse, and pretended to struggle to free herself.
I never dreamt that grown people ever behaved like that. I hadn’t the faintest notion what she was doing or why she was doing it; but I knew that it was something secret, and silly, and beautiful. I also had the feeling that it was something pleasant and wrong, just like the things I most enjoyed doing, for which I was punished. I wanted to withdraw and tried to; but tripped over the sunflowers and fell.
Hetty and the gardener sprang apart. I knew what was going to happen next; I had caught them being natural—they were going to commence shamming9. The gardener became very busy, piling his tools into the barrow. Hetty, talking in her cold and distant manner, said to him, “And don’t forget the lettuce10 for breakfast, John. Master’s very partic’lar about it.”
I came from my hiding, thrusting my hands deep in my pockets, as though I kept my courage there and was frightened of its dropping out. The gardener’s back was towards me, but he caught sight of me from between his legs. He just stopped like that with his face growing redder, his mouth wide-open, and stared. Hetty didn’t look as pretty as she had been looking, but before she could say anything I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I came to see my fowl—— but I won’t tell.”
“Bless ’is little ’eart,” cried John; “I thought it were ’is Pa, I wuz that scared.”
Hetty knelt down beside me and rocked me to and fro half-hysterically, making me promise again and again that I would never tell.
“Was you doin’ somethin’ wrong?” I asked. “What was you doin’?”
They looked foolishly at one another.
All that day they kept me near them on one pretext11 or another, afraid to let me get away from them. I had never known them so sensible and obliging; they did all kinds of things for me that they had never done before. After breakfast, while Hetty was dusting, John built me a little fowl-run. In the afternoon, while he was cutting the grass, Hetty sat with me beneath the apple-tree and told me what life meant. She spoke12 in whispers like a conspirator13, and all the time that she was talking, I could hear Ruthita humming just the other side of the wall.
As I understood it, this was what she told me. When: you first get here, here being the world, you own nothing; and know nothing. Then, as you grow up, you know something but still own nothing. That’s why you’re ordered about and told not to do all the things that you want most to do. You can only please yourself when nobody’s looking and must obey nearly everyone until you get money. There are several ways of getting it, and the pleasantest is sweet-hearting.
Here I interrupted her to inquire what was sweet-hearting. “Well,” she said, turning her face away and looking dreamily at John, who was pushing the mower14 across the lawn, “sweet-heartin’s what you saw me and John doin’.’”
“Does it always have to be done before breakfast?”
She threw back her head and laughed, swaying backwards15 and forwards. Then she became solemn and answered, “I ’ave to do it before breakfast ‘cause I’m a servant. But I does it of evenin’s on my night out.”
She went on to tell me that sweet-hearting was the first step towards freedom and money. The second step was a. honeymoon16, which consisted in going away with a person of the other sex for a week to some place where you weren’t known. When you came back to the people who knew you, they said you were married. So marriage was the third and last step. After that you were given a house, and money, and all the things for which you had always yearned17. You had other people, who were like you were before you went sweet-hearting, to take your orders, and run your errands, and say “Sir” or “Madam.” Sometimes when you came back from your honeymoon, you found children in the house.
So through that long summer’s afternoon beneath the apple-tree, with the leaves gently stirring and the sound of Ruthita humming across the wall, I gained my first lesson in sexology and domestic economics. It solved a good many problems by which I had been puzzled. For instance, why Uncle Obad had a pony18 and I hadn’t; why I was sent to bed always at the same hour and my father went only when he chose; why big people could lose their tempers without being wicked, whereas God was always angry when I did it. There was only one thing that I couldn’t understand: why two boys couldn’t go on a honeymoon together, or two girls, and have the same results follow. Except for this, the riddle19 of society was now solved as far as I was concerned. Marriage seemed a thousand times more wonderful than the magic carpet.
I was tremendously interested in the possibilities of sweet-hearting and promised to help Hetty all I could. In return she declared that, when she was married, she would persuade my father to let her take me out of the garden.
That evening I crept over the wall and found Ruthita waiting. She was a slim dainty little figure, clad in a short white dress. She had great gray eyes, and long black hair and lashes20. Her voice was soft and caressing21, like the twittering of a bird in the ivy22 when one wakens on a summer morning. I told her in hurried whispers what I had discovered. It was all news to her. She slipped her hand into mine while I spoke and nestled closer.
“Little boy,” she whispered when I had ended, “you are funny! You come climbing over the garden-wall and you tell me everything.”
An old man came out of the house and began to pace up and down the walks. His head was bent23 forward on his chest and he had a big red scar on his forehead. A cloak hung loosely from his shoulders. He carried a stick in his hand on which he leant heavily. Ruthita said he was her grandfather. Soon he began to call for her, and she had to go to him.
Little by little I learnt her story. Her grandfather was a French general. He had fought in the Franco-Prussian War until the Fall of the Empire and Proclamation of the Republic. Shortly after the flight of the Empress Eugénie he had come to England in disgust. His son, Ruthita’s father, had stayed behind and been cut to pieces in the Siege of Paris. Ruthita’s mother was an Englishwoman. She had never recovered from the shock of her husband’s death. It was her light that I saw burning in the bedroom window of evenings. They were almost poor now and lived in great seclusion24. The grandfather had dropped his rank and was known as plain Monsieur Favart. So Ruthita was even a closer prisoner than myself.
What did we talk about in those first stolen hours of’ childish friendship? I asked her once when we were grown up, but she could not tell me. Perhaps we did not say much. We felt together—felt the mystery of the enchanted25 unseen world. Why, the pigeons strutting26 on the housetops had seen more than we had; and they were not half as old as we were! They spread their wings, soared up into the clouds, and vanished. We told one another stories of where they went; but long before the stories were ended Monsieur Favart would come searching for Ruthita or the voice of Hetty would ring through the dusk, calling me to bed. Then I would lie awake and imagine myself a pigeon, and finish the story to myself.
The great beauty of our meetings was that they were undiscovered. It was always I who went to Ruthita—she was nothing of a climber, and the red bricks and green moss27 would have left tell-tale marks upon her dress. We had a nest of straw behind the currant bushes. Here, with backs against the hard wall and fingers digging in the cool damp earth, we would sit and wonder, talking in whispers, of all the mysteries that lay before us. Ruthita had vague memories of Paris, of soldiers marching and the beating of drums. Sometimes she would sing French songs to me, of which she would translate the meaning between each verse. My contribution to our little store of knowledge was limited to what I have written in these few chapters.
I don’t know at what stage in the proceedings28 our great idea occurred. It must have been in the early autumn, for the evenings were drawing in and often it was chilly29. I had been talking about Hetty, when suddenly I exclaimed, “Why can’t we do that?”
“Do what?” she questioned.
“Get married!”
Then I reminded her of the extreme simplicity30 of marriage as explained by our housemaid. All we had to do was to slip out of the garden for a few days, and then come back. We should find a house ready for us. Perhaps I should have a pony like Uncle Obad, and, instead of dolls, Ruthita would have real babies. It was the real babies that caught her fancy. Because of her mother, she needed a little persuading. “What will she do wivout me?”
“And what would she do if you’d never been borned?” I said.
Ruthita had five shillings in her money-box. I had only a shilling; for the white hen, in spite of pepper, had failed to lay any eggs. Six shillings seemed to us a fortune—ample to provide for the honeymoon of two small children.
The gate from Monsieur Favart’s garden was never locked: that was evidently our easiest way out.
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1
tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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2
conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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3
hopping
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| n. 跳跃 动词hop的现在分词形式 | |
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4
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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5
starched
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| adj.浆硬的，硬挺的，拘泥刻板的v.把（衣服、床单等）浆一浆( starch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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6
wriggling
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| v.扭动，蠕动，蜿蜒行进( wriggle的现在分词 )；（使身体某一部位）扭动；耍滑不做，逃避（应做的事等）；蠕蠕 | |
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7
rumpled
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| v.弄皱，使凌乱( rumple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8
squeaked
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| v.短促地尖叫( squeak的过去式和过去分词 )；吱吱叫；告密；充当告密者 | |
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9
shamming
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| 假装，冒充( sham的现在分词 ) | |
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10
lettuce
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| n.莴苣；生菜 | |
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11
pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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12
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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13
conspirator
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| n.阴谋者，谋叛者 | |
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14
mower
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| n.割草机 | |
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15
backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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16
honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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17
yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18
pony
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| adj.小型的；n.小马 | |
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19
riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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20
lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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21
caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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22
ivy
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| n.常青藤，常春藤 | |
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23
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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24
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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25
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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26
strutting
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| 加固，支撑物 | |
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27
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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28
proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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29
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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30
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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