Yet, when I look back, the making of happiness at the Red House seems to me to have been very much like manufacturing bricks without straw. I am amazed at our success. Very slight provision was made for our comfort. Our daily routine was in no way superior to that of a barrack; the only difference was that they drilled our heads instead of our arms and legs. The feminine influence was entirely4 lacking, and a good deal of brutality5 resulted. If the parents could have guessed half the shocking things that their fresh-faced innocent looking darlings did and said in the three months of each term that they were away from home, they would have been broken-hearted. And yet they might have guessed. For here were we, young animals in every stage of adolescence6, herded7 together in class-rooms and dormitories, uninformed about ourselves, with only paid people to care for us.
Apart from the masters we governed ourselves by a secret code of honor. One of the favorite diversions, when things were dull, was to find some boy who was unpopular, in a breach8 of schoolboy etiquette9. He would then be led into a class-room, held down over a desk, and thrashed with hockey-sticks. I have seen a boy receive as many as ninety strokes, laid on by various young barbarians10 who took a pride in seeing who could hit hardest. Usually at the end of it the victim was nearly fainting, and would be lame11 for days after. The masters knew all about such proceedings12, but they were too indifferent to interfere13. They boasted that they trusted to the school’s sense of justice.
A boy, who was at all sensitive, went about in a state of terror. If you escaped hockey-sticks by day, there was always the dormitory and hair-brush to be dreaded14. The way to get beyond the dread15 of such possibilities was to make yourself popular, and the easiest way to become popular was to play ingenious pranks16 on the masters.
The glorious hours of liberty that broke up the monotonous17 round of tasks stand out in vivid contrast to the discipline. We lived for them and kept charts of the days, because this seemed to bring them nearer. There were two half-holidays a week, Wednesdays and Saturdays, on which, if sufficient excuse were given, we were allowed to go out of the school-grounds. If the permission were withheld18, we broke bounds and took the risk of discovery and consequent thrashings. These stolen expeditions had a zest19 about them that made them the more pleasurable.
The Bantam and I did most things together. We had a common fund of money. His memories of India lent a touch of romance to our friendship. He would spin long yarns20 of man-eating tigers and terrible battles with hill-tribes. He had a lurid21 imagination and added some fresh detail each time he told his tales. Not to be behindhand, I narrated22 my escape to the forest—leaving out the Ruthita part of it—and how Lilith had made me a gipsy.
These stories became a secret between us which we shared with no one. We created for ourselves a mirage23 world which we called IT. In IT we had only to speak of things and they happened. In IT there were man-eating tigers to whom we threw our masters when they had been unpleasant to us. We would drag them by their feet through the jungle, and then let out a low blood-thirsty wailing24 sound. Immediately we had done it, we would drop our victim and climb trees, for we could hear the tigers coming. The victim was bound so he couldn’t run away and while he lay there “in the long rank grass with bulging25 eyes,” we would remind him of his crimes committed at the Red House. The account of his tortures and dying words would become a dialogue between the Bantam and myself.
“Then the tiger seized him by the arm and chawed him,” the Bantam would say.
“And the other tiger seized him by the leg, pulling in an opposite direction,” said I.
“Then old Sneard looked up at me, with imploring27 eyes. ‘I’ve been a beast,’ he moaned, ‘and you were always a good boy. Call them off for the sake of my little girl.’ But I only laughed sepulchrally,” said the Bantam.
“Your little girl will be jolly well glad when you’re dead,” said I.
“Everybody will be glad,” said the Bantam. “And then a third tiger crept out of the bushes and bit off his head, putting an end to his agony.”
“You needn’t have killed him so soon,” I would expostulate discontentedly. “I’d got something else I wanted to do to him.”
“All right,” the Bantam would assent28 cheerfully; “let’s kill him again.”
So real was this land of IT to us, that we would shout with excitement as we reached the climax29 of our narrations30. The English fields through which we wandered became swamps, deserts, and forests at will.
It became part of our game to pretend that we might meet Lilith any day. Often we would break bounds, stealing down country lanes and peering through hedges, hoping that at the next turn we should discover her seated before her camp-fire. Hope deferred31 never curbed32 our eagerness; we always believed that we should meet her next time.
If we did not meet Lilith, we met someone equally strange—Lady Zion, the Creature’s sister. It was the Bantam who told me all about her. “She’s wrong up there,” he said, tapping his forehead. “She thinks she’s something out of the Bible; that’s why she calls herself Lady Zion Holy Ghost. She goes about the country dressed in white, riding on a donkey, muttering to herself, looking for someone she can never find. She thinks that she’s in love with old Sneard, and that he don’t care for her. They say that once he was going to marry her and then threw her over. That’s what sent her balmy.”
When I grew older I learnt the truth about the Creature and his sister. He became a firm friend of mine before schooldays were ended. He was a man who possessed33 a faculty34 for not getting on in the world which, had it been of value, would have amounted to genius. Anyone else with his brains and instinct for daring guess-work in scientific experiment, would have made a reputation. Instead of which he pottered his life out at the Red House, defending his sister and allowing himself to be imposed on both by boys and masters.
Popularity was the armor which permitted you to do almost anything with impunity35. A boy would take almost any chance to get it. Very early in my school experience the Bantam thought out a plan which he invited me to share—with the dire26 result that I was brought into intimate contact with Mr. Sneard.
Every night between seven and eight the lower forms assembled to prepare their next day’s lessons. The Creature usually presided, chiefly because he was good-natured and the other masters were lazy. It was part of his penance36. The room in which we assembled was illumined by oil-lamps, which hung low on chains from the ceiling. If the chimney of one of these broke, the light became so bad in that quarter that work was suspended until it had been replaced. The Bantam conceived the happy idea of persuading them to break in an almost undiscoverable manner. It was simplicity37 itself—to spit across the room so skilfully38 as to hit the chimney, whereupon the moisture on the hot glass would cause it to crack. We practised at sticks and gate-posts in the fields at first; having become more or less proficient39, we practised aiming at objects above our heads. This was more difficult. Our progress was slow; it was dry work. Still, within a month we considered ourselves adepts40.
One night in prep we put our plan to the test. The Creature was seated at his raised desk, absorbed in some scientific work. The Bantam, judging his distance carefully, took aim and the chimney cracked. As soon as the lamp-boy had been sent for and the chimney had been replaced, it was my turn. I was no less successful. For a week prep was disorganized; every night the same thing happened. I felt secretly ashamed of myself, for I knew that I was behaving meanly to a man who had always been kind in his dealings with me; but I was intoxicated41 with popularity. The Bantam and I were the heroes of the hour. Boys who had never condescended42 to speak to us, now offered us their next week’s pocket-money to instruct them in an art in which we excelled. Games were abandoned. All over the play-ground groups of young ruffians might be seen industriously43 spitting at some object by the hour together.
I suppose the Creature must have watched us from the laboratory and put two and two together. One night, when three chimneys had broken in succession, he caught me in mid-act. I say he caught me, but he did not so much as look up from the book he was reading. He just said, without raising his head, “Cardover, you must report yourself to Mr. Sneard to-morrow.”
To have to report oneself to Mr. Sneard was the worst punishment that an under-master could measure out. Somehow it had never entered my head that the Creature would be so severe as that. Why, I might get expelled or publicly thrashed! My imagination conjured44 up all sorts of disgraces and grisly penalties.
That night in the dormitory the Bantam told me of a way in which I might save myself; it was my first lesson in the value of diplomacy45 in helping46 one out of ticklish47 situations. It appeared that Mr. Sneard was always lenient48 with a boy who professed49 conversion50.
Next day as I was hesitating outside his private room, screwing up my courage to tap, the Bantam sidled up behind me. “I’m going too,” he said. Before I could dissuade51 him, he had turned the handle.
Sneard was a sallow cadaverous person; he affected52 side-whiskers and had red hair. He wore clerical attire53, the vest of which was very much spotted54 through his nearsightedness when he ate at table. He was probably the least scholarly master in the school, but he owed his position to his manners. They were unctuous55, and had the reputation of going down with the parents. I suppose that was how he caught my father. He composed hymns56, which he set to music and compelled us to sing on Sundays. They were mostly of the self-abasement order, in which we spoke57 of ourselves as worms and besought58 the Almighty59 not to tread on us. For years my mental picture of God was that of a gigantic school-master in holy orders, very similar in appearance to Sneard himself.
When we entered, he was seated behind his desk writing. He prolonged our suspense60 by pretending not to see us for a while. Suddenly he cast aside his pen and wheeled round in a storm of furious anger. When he spoke, it sounded like a dog yapping.
“You young blackguards, what’s this I hear about you?”
He forced us to tell him the stupid details of our offense61. He could have had no sense of humor, for while we were speaking he covered his eyes with his hand as though staggered with horror at the enormity of our depravity. Later experience has taught me that what he meant us to believe was that he was engaged in prayer.
When in small throaty whispers we had finished our confession62, he looked up at us. “Your poor, poor fathers,” he said, “one in India and one my friend! What shall I tell them? How shall I break this news to them?”
Then he straightened himself in his chair. “There’s nothing else for it; Cardover, it’s over there. Will you please fetch it?”
He pointed63 to a cane64 in the corner, which leant against a book-shelf. It was at this crisis that the Bantam made use of his stratagem65.
“If you please, sir, I’ve been troubled about my soul again.” Then he added loyally, “And Cardover’s been lying awake of nights thinking about hell.”
If the truth be told I had been lying awake imagining Sneard being bled to death very slowly, and very torturingly, by a hill-tribe. But Sneard caught at the bait. “I am glad to hear it. Cardover, before I cane you, come here and tell me about your views on hell.”
Before we left him, great crocodile tears were streaming from our eyes by reason of knuckles66 rubbed in vigorously. We were not punished. The last sight I had of Sneard he was gazing with holy joy at a great oil-painting of himself which hung above his desk.
Most of the boys in the Red House were converted many times—as often as they came within reach of the birch. Sneard made much coin out of referring to these touching67 spiritual experiences in public gatherings68 of parents. I have never been able to decide whether we really did fool him. I am inclined to believe that his eyes were wide open to our hypocrisy69, but that he found it paid to encourage it. Part of his salary was derived70 from percentages on the tuition fees of all boys over a certain number. He found that the best card to play with parents for the attracting of new pupils, was a statement of the numerous conversions71 which were brought about through his influence.
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1
prematurely
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| adv.过早地，贸然地 | |
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2
vicissitudes
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| n.变迁，世事变化；变迁兴衰( vicissitude的名词复数 )；盛衰兴废 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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brutality
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| n.野蛮的行为，残忍，野蛮 | |
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adolescence
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| n.青春期，青少年 | |
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herded
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| 群集，纠结( herd的过去式和过去分词 )； 放牧； （使）向…移动 | |
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8
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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etiquette
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| n.礼仪，礼节；规矩 | |
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10
barbarians
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| n.野蛮人( barbarian的名词复数 )；外国人；粗野的人；无教养的人 | |
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11
lame
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| adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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13
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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14
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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15
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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16
pranks
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| n.玩笑，恶作剧( prank的名词复数 ) | |
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17
monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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18
withheld
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| withhold过去式及过去分词 | |
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19
zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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20
yarns
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| n.纱( yarn的名词复数 )；纱线；奇闻漫谈；旅行轶事 | |
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21
lurid
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| adj.可怕的；血红的；苍白的 | |
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22
narrated
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| v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
mirage
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| n.海市蜃楼，幻景 | |
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24
wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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25
bulging
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| 膨胀； 凸出（部）； 打气； 折皱 | |
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26
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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27
imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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28
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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narrations
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| 叙述事情的经过，故事( narration的名词复数 ) | |
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31
deferred
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| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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32
curbed
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| v.限制，克制，抑制( curb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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33
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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35
impunity
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| n.(惩罚、损失、伤害等的)免除 | |
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36
penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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38
skilfully
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| adv. (美skillfully)熟练地 | |
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39
proficient
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| adj.熟练的，精通的；n.能手，专家 | |
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40
adepts
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| n.专家，能手( adept的名词复数 ) | |
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41
intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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42
condescended
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| 屈尊，俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 )； 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
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43
industriously
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44
conjured
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| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
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45
diplomacy
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| n.外交；外交手腕，交际手腕 | |
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46
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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47
ticklish
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| adj.怕痒的；问题棘手的；adv.怕痒地；n.怕痒，小心处理 | |
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48
lenient
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| adj.宽大的，仁慈的 | |
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49
professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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50
conversion
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| n.转化，转换，转变 | |
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51
dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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52
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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53
attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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54
spotted
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| adj.有斑点的，斑纹的，弄污了的 | |
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55
unctuous
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| adj.油腔滑调的，大胆的 | |
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56
hymns
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌( hymn的名词复数 ) | |
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57
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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58
besought
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| v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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59
almighty
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| adj.全能的，万能的；很大的，很强的 | |
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60
suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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61
offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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62
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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63
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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64
cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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65
stratagem
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| n.诡计，计谋 | |
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66
knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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67
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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68
gatherings
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| 聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集 | |
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69
hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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70
derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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71
conversions
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| 变换( conversion的名词复数 )； （宗教、信仰等）彻底改变； （尤指为居住而）改建的房屋； 橄榄球（触地得分后再把球射中球门的）附加得分 | |
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