This arrangement for the consumption of the summer vacation did not meet Jack's views at all, and he protested so strongly that the doctor yielded, after exacting8 perfect behavior as the price of liberty. Jack promised; he would have promised anything rather than have spent all those delicious days indoors. There was altogether too much out-of-doors that demanded his attention; the blackberry harvest in which Jack earned most of his year's spending money, came in July; the march of civilization was working destruction with hazel-nut patches, so that prudent9 boys desired to know in advance where not to go in the fall; it was the "off year" for black walnuts10, so it was advisable to ascertain11 where were the few trees which neglected to be in the fashion; there were several young orchards12 which had bloomed for the first time, and must be visited for sampling purposes, lest perchance there might some very early varieties come into bearing and be gathered before he had seen them, slippery elm bark was not entirely14 past its prime, several new kinds of fish-bait were to be tested on the perch13 which Jack was sure dwelt in jealous seclusion15 in certain deep holes in the river, the country district was to be scoured16 for new litters of puppies of desirable breed—in short Jack had so much work laid out that the vacation promised to be a very busy one.
But by the time the French class had been in session a week, Jack began to feel unutterably lonesome. Matt was in the class; so was lame17 Joey Wilson, who was always a pleasant companion; the Pinkshaw twins, who had no equal as tree-climbers, were also there, and so was big Frank Parker, whose superior strength and wisdom were not to be despised. Jack gave unwonted attention to the family garden so as to be within sound of the mid-morning intermission, and when the teacher's bell summoned the boys back to school again, Jack not unfrequently sat upon the school wood-pile during the long hour which ensued before the dismissal which brought him and the boys together again. Then satan began to find mischief for Jack's idle hands, and small pebbles18 not unfrequently flew into the open windows of the school-room, occasioning pleasing diversions for the boys and annoyance for the teacher. Every body knew who threw them, but when questioned by the teacher they all, with general mental reservation, professed19 utter ignorance. The exile-teacher was not of the best temper, so he took his stand near a window, with the text-book in one hand and half a brick in the other, but Jack, warned by friendly hands hanging out of the windows of the side upon which the teacher stood, operated from the other side and occasioned many spirited races against time, the teacher's course being across the schoolroom, while Jack's goal was the friendly shelter of the schoolhouse porch. But even this diversion grew tiresome20, and Jack, from pure loneliness, finally came to sneaking21 up the stairway, sitting on the floor of the hall, and listening by the hour to what to him seemed the idiotic22 jabber23 of his late schoolmates.
Then listening itself grew tiresome; besides, the position was uncomfortable, so one day Jack climbed up the little hatchway which led to the cockpit and belfry, laid a board across several beams, stretched himself upon it, and listened at ease, for there were sundry24 cracks in the ceiling. Jack was not long in discovering that one of these cracks, in its meanderings, passed directly over the teacher's chair, and that sundry small fragments of plaster could be scratched from its sides and dropped upon the exile's head.
This discovery aroused the inventive spirit which seems dormant25 in the mind of every American, waiting only for appropriate occasion to call it forth26, Jack carefully marked that portion of the crack which directly overhung the teacher's head. He remained where he was until school was dismissed; then he cautiously picked at the side of the crack, between two laths, until it was wide enough to admit a grain of corn dropped edgewise; then he went below, dusted away the fallen plaster with his hat, and went home through the unlocked door with a feeling that the next morning was at least six weeks away.
But the next morning came, according to all correct timepieces, at the proper hour, and the French class had got fairly under way upon some of the exasperating27 paradigms28 of an irregular verb, when suddenly a grain of corn fell upon the bald head of the exile. Fat Billy Barker, who was abler at staring than studying, happened to see the falling body, and as the startled teacher arose from his chair, Billy began to laugh. The teacher immediately marked him as the offender29, dashed at him and gave him several hard blows with a switch, after which Billy put his head down upon his desk, wept, and declined to make a statement. But the teacher had hardly reseated himself when another missile of the same sort had struck him; Billy's head and hands being still down, the teacher exclaimed,
"Oh, Barkare, zen it was not you; I vill apologize, Barkare,—I have mooch sorrow. Vatever boy it vas should be whipped by Barkare!"
Again the recitation began and another grain of corn fell, this time in full view of the entire school. A general titter resulted, and this so enraged30 the teacher that he strolled rapidly down the aisles31, displaying two rows of terribly white teeth, and shaking his ruler at nearly every boy individually. This operation had a very sobering effect, and even Jack was so appalled32 by the noise of the teacher's footfalls that he remained quiet nearly an hour. Finally he dropped two grains in quick succession, and the boys, who had been feverishly33 awaiting something new, laughed aloud with one accord. The teacher sprang to his feet, seized both ruler and switch, and roared.
"Now, who did it? Barkare, you vill tell me, an' let me avenge34 ze vipping you did haf?"
Billy gulped35 down the truth and declared he did not know.
"Vilson," shouted the teacher, "you is ze good boy of ze school; you will tell me, I know, Vilson?"
But Joey, looking as innocent as if he were saying his prayers, shook his head negatively.
"Mistare Frank Parkare," continued the teacher, "you haf nearly ze years of a man, and cannot enchoy to see ze destruction of discipline. Who vas it that throw ze corn-grain."
And big Frank Parker unblushingly and solemnly said that he did not know.
"Efferybody tell me," exclaimed the teacher, resuming his chair with dignity, "or ze class will stay in ze room till it starve to death. How like you zat, mes gar?ons, eh?"
The boys did not seem particularly to enjoy the prospect36, and Jack himself sobered somewhat at the thought of inflicting37 such a penalty upon his friends. But just there he conceived a new idea, and emerging quietly from his hiding place, he ran home, obtained a vial from his father's office, filled it with water, and hurried back. He was anxious to see as well as to hear the result of his impending38 operation, so he removed his board, lay along one of the beams, steadying himself by his left hand, and held the mouth of the vial over the teacher's head. Lame Joey Wilson was just translating fragmentarily, as follows:
"Avez-vous-le-chien-rouge-du-charpentier-avec—"
What the carpenter-owner of the dog really had, remained unexplained during the remainder of the session. Jack had intended to let but a single drop of water fall, and he could generally trust his hand at such work, for his father sometimes allowed him to assist in compounding prescriptions39. But on this particular occasion anticipation40 proved too much for reality, for Jack laughed to himself so violently over the fun about to ensue that his hand shook, a stream of water poured through the hole, and trickled41 all over the teacher's chair. And, worse still, Jack discovered that a two-inch beam is not a safe place of repose42 for the human frame in moments of profound agitation43, for he lost his balance, tried to save it with one elbow and one foot, which between them dislodged great masses of plaster from the laths and dropped it upon the teacher's desk.
EXPERIMENT IN GRAVITATION.
Even then the truth might not have been suspected, had not Jack, frightened at the mischief he had caused, lost all self-control and tumbled off the beam and upon the laths. Crack! Crack! went several laths, a violent commotion44 was heard upon the remainder, and, as the school started to its feet and the teacher dropped back in terror, a boy's foot and a section of trowser-leg appeared for an instant through a hole in the ceiling, only to be instantly withdrawn45.
"Ah!" snarled47 the exile, seizing his half brick and ruler, and starting for the hall, "I haf ze villain48!" The entire class followed, in time to hear a rustling49 sound and to see the teacher's half brick go up the hatchway, through which the bell rope was being rapidly drawn46.
The teacher danced frantically50 about and shouted,
"Somebody go for the police—ze constable51, what you call him! I would gif five dollare if I had my pistol viz me here. Somebody bring one little laddare—zen I go up ze hole an' drag down ze diable. I show you vat4 I do, you bring me ze laddare!"
Nobody stirred; every one preferred to remain as spectator. Suddenly the teacher's half brick descended52, followed by a nail keg, a dusty roll of discarded maps, and a piece of board.
"It is one attaque de force!" exclaimed the teacher, retiring precipitately53 upon the feet of lame Joey Wilson, who had squeezed well to the front. "Ze rascal54 shall go to ze prison. Will nobody go for ze constable? Zen I will give ze alarm from out ze window."
The exile put his head out the window, just in time to see Jack, who had thrown the bell rope over the front of the building, sliding down the same, and making dreadful faces because of the pain which friction55 occasioned in his hands and legs. With a fiendish yell the teacher threw the ruler, which missed Jack. Just as the young man felt that the rope was no longer between his knees yet the ground not invitingly56 near, the teacher reappeared with an inkstand which he threw with such excellent aim that it struck Jack in the side. The boy immediately loosened his hold and dropped about fifteen feet, striking upon his side. In an instant he was upon his feet and hurrying homeward without as much hilarity57 as might have been expected, for in falling he had broken his left arm.
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1
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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vat
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| n.(=value added tax)增值税，大桶 | |
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jubilation
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| n.欢庆，喜悦 | |
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lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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8
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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walnuts
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| 胡桃（树）( walnut的名词复数 )； 胡桃木 | |
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ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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16
scoured
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| 走遍（某地）搜寻（人或物）( scour的过去式和过去分词 )； （用力）刷； 擦净； 擦亮 | |
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17
lame
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| adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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18
pebbles
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| [复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 ) | |
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19
professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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jabber
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| v.快而不清楚地说；n.吱吱喳喳 | |
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24
sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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dormant
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| adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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exasperating
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| adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
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28
paradigms
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| n.（一词的）词形变化表( paradigm的名词复数 )；范例；样式；模范 | |
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29
offender
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| n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者 | |
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30
enraged
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| 使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤 | |
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31
aisles
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| n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊 | |
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32
appalled
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| v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的 | |
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feverishly
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| adv. 兴奋地 | |
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34
avenge
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| v.为...复仇，为...报仇 | |
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35
gulped
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| v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的过去式和过去分词 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住 | |
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36
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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37
inflicting
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的现在分词 ) | |
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impending
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| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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prescriptions
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| 药( prescription的名词复数 )； 处方； 开处方； 计划 | |
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40
anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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41
trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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42
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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43
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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44
commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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45
withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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46
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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47
snarled
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| v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说 | |
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48
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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49
rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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50
frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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51
constable
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| n.(英国)警察，警官 | |
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52
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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53
precipitately
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| adv.猛进地 | |
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54
rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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55
friction
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| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
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56
invitingly
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| adv. 动人地 | |
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57
hilarity
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| n.欢乐；热闹 | |
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