"As you see, we may be proud of our work.... Our school, which we planted at first like a small seed, has grown into a well-developed and splendid institution. We have been exceedingly fortunate in the choice of our teachers. In the shoemaking class, for instance, we have a woman-teacher, who was formerly3 the wife of a shoemaker, a charming bright little creature, simple in her nature, and irreproachable4 as to character. And how she works!... She is indeed a wonder!... Her way of teaching her trade too is quite astonishing; she has such patience and love for the children. She gets only twelve roubles a month besides her lodging5, and at the price she is a treasure.... Out of her scanty6 earnings7 she herself supports two orphan8 children!... She's a most interesting person, I can tell you!..."
He said so much in praise of the shoemaker's wife that I became quite curious to see her. It was not long before my wish was fulfilled, and one day Matrona Ivanovna Orlova told me the sad story of her life. At first, after her separation from her husband, he gave her no peace—he would arrive drunk, make a terrible row, watch her whenever she went out, and if he succeeded in catching9 her, would beat her pitilessly. She bore it all. When the Infirmary was closed, the lady doctor promised to get her a situation in the school, and protect her from her husband. This she succeeded in doing, and henceforth a peaceful industrious10 life began for Matrona. With the help of the assistants, whom she had known in the Infirmary, she learnt to read and write; later on she adopted two orphans11, a boy and a girl, whom she found in the Orphanage,—she made a home for herself and grew happier, only looking back with sadness and horror on her former life. She loved her pupils, and realized the importance of the work that was entrusted12 to her, and to which she devoted13 absolutely her life. She had gained the affection and respect of all the managers of the school. But a dry painful cough troubled her, and a hectic14 flush on her thin cheeks was an omen15 of the disease which was undermining her strength. Her grey eyes burned with an expression of fathomless16 grief. Her married life with the restless Grischka had left these traces behind....
Grischka had, however, for the last three years left his wife entirely17 alone. He came sometimes to N——, but never showed his face to his wife. "He had gone on the tramp," that was the expression Matrona used to describe the kind of life her husband led.
I had the opportunity later on of making his acquaintance. I came across him in one of the slum quarters of the town, and after we had met two or three times we became friends. He told me the story of his married life—the same story indeed that I had already heard from Matrona. After telling it he seemed lost for a time in reflection, and then added—
"Yes, Maxime Sawatjeitsch, that's how it all happened ... that's the way I seem to have been lifted up, and then cruelly dashed down again. I never managed to do anything heroic after all. But I still feel the intense desire to do something out of the common, something extraordinary. I should like to crush everything on earth to dust ... or gather together a band of boon18 companions, and destroy every Jew in the world—every single one! To do something that would raise me to a higher level than all the rest of mankind ... so that from my heights I could spit down on all of them. Something that would give me the right to say to them all, 'You reptiles19, you! what are you living for? And how are you living? You are a set of hypocrites and rogues20, and nothing else!' ... After that I should not mind falling head foremost from my heights, even if I got smashed to pieces on the ground!... Hm?.. yes!... Devil take it all!... How dull and flat life is! It has always seemed to me narrow and cramped21! Once I had got the weight of Matrona off my shoulders I thought to myself, 'Now, Grischka, the anchor is up, you can sail away freely wherever you like!' But it all turned out different from what I thought it would; my boat got caught in the shallows, and here I am aground!... But, never fear, I shall get off some day, and shall yet make a name for myself ... My wife?... Oh, she is nothing to me now!... Let her goto the devil!... What does a man like me want with a wife?... How can I be tied to a wife when I feel as if I were constantly being attracted towards the four quarters of the earth?... I was born with the spirit of unrest in my heart ... and fate marked me out for a tramp, for a wanderer over the face of the earth.... It's the best life there is after all.... It's free, though it's not without its discomforts22.... I have tramped all over the place, and never yet have found comfort for my soul.... I drink, you say.... Well, I sup pose that's true; but what else is there to do?... Vodka is the only thing that really soothes23 the soul; and there is an inextinguishable flame, which is burning up my soul.... Everything seems in opposition24 to me; the towns, the villages, people in every condition of life.... I am sick of it all! Would it not have been possible to have invented something better than all this?... Half the world seems to be preying25 on the other half.... There is nothing for it but to destroy them all! Ah! life, life, what an invention of the devil it is!"
The heavy door of the vodka-shop, where Orloff and I sat talking, swung backwards26 and forwards from time to time with a creaking, suggestive sound. As one glanced at the dark interior it appeared like the huge jaws27 of a giant, slowly but surely swallowing up, one after the other, these poor wretched Russian souls ... both the restless and the quiet alike....
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1 founders | |
n.创始人( founder的名词复数 ) | |
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2 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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3 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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4 irreproachable | |
adj.不可指责的,无过失的 | |
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5 lodging | |
n.寄宿,住所;(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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6 scanty | |
adj.缺乏的,仅有的,节省的,狭小的,不够的 | |
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7 earnings | |
n.工资收人;利润,利益,所得 | |
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8 orphan | |
n.孤儿;adj.无父母的 | |
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9 catching | |
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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10 industrious | |
adj.勤劳的,刻苦的,奋发的 | |
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11 orphans | |
孤儿( orphan的名词复数 ) | |
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12 entrusted | |
v.委托,托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13 devoted | |
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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14 hectic | |
adj.肺病的;消耗热的;发热的;闹哄哄的 | |
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15 omen | |
n.征兆,预兆;vt.预示 | |
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16 fathomless | |
a.深不可测的 | |
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17 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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18 boon | |
n.恩赐,恩物,恩惠 | |
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19 reptiles | |
n.爬行动物,爬虫( reptile的名词复数 ) | |
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20 rogues | |
n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 );无赖;调皮捣蛋的人;离群的野兽 | |
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21 cramped | |
a.狭窄的 | |
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22 discomforts | |
n.不舒适( discomfort的名词复数 );不愉快,苦恼 | |
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23 soothes | |
v.安慰( soothe的第三人称单数 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦 | |
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24 opposition | |
n.反对,敌对 | |
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25 preying | |
v.掠食( prey的现在分词 );掠食;折磨;(人)靠欺诈为生 | |
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26 backwards | |
adv.往回地,向原处,倒,相反,前后倒置地 | |
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27 jaws | |
n.口部;嘴 | |
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