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CHAPTER XV WHERE HIS BEAUTIFUL EXPECTATIONS WENT!
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ONE morning Quentin met Juan, the gardener.

“You don’t come to the house any more, Se?orito.”

“I’ve had lots to do these days.”

“Have you heard the important news?”

“What is it?”

“The Se?orita is going to be married.”

“Rafaela?”

“Yes.”

“To whom?”

“To Juan de Dios.”

Quentin felt as if all his nerves had let go at once.

“The Marquis is getting worse every day,” the gardener continued, “so he thought the Se?orita ought to get married as soon as possible.”

“And she.... What does she say?”

“Nothing, at present.”

“But will she oppose it?”

“How do I know?”

“Are the family affairs in such bad shape that the Marquis was forced to take this course?”

“They are very bad. The grandfather hasn’t much longer to live; the Se?orita’s father is a profligate1; and El Pollo Real doesn’t care to do anything at all. To whom will they leave the girls? Their stepmother, La[164] Aceitunera, is no good. Have you ever heard of a Se?ora Patrocinio who has a house in Los Tejares? Well, she goes there every day. Why, it’s a shame.”

“And this Juan de Dios ... is he rich?” asked Quentin.

“Very; but he is very coarse. When he was a little boy he used to say: ‘I want to be a horse,’ and he used to go out to the stable, pick up some filth2 in his hands, and say to the people, ‘Look, look what I did.’”

“He is coarse, then—eh?”

“Yes; but he’s got noble blood in him.”

Quentin left Juan and went home perplexed3. Indubitably, he was no B?otian, but a vulgar sentimentalist, a poor cadet, an unhappy wretch4, without strength enough to set aside, as useless and prejudicial, those gloomy ideas and sentiments: love, self-denial, and the rest.

And he had thought himself an Epicurean! One of the few men capable of following the advice of Horace: “Pluck today’s flower, and give no thought to the morrow’s!” He! In love with a young lady of the aristocracy; not for her money, nor even for her palace; but for her own sake! He was on a level with any romantic carpenter of a provincial5 capital. He was unworthy of having been in Eton, near Windsor, for eight years; or of having walked through Piccadilly; or of having read Horace.

In the miserable6 state in which Quentin found himself, only nonsensical ideas occurred to him. The first was to go to Rafaela and demand an explanation; the second was to write her a letter; and he was as pleased with this idiotic7 plan as if it had been really brilliant. He made several rough drafts in succession, and was satis[165]fied with none of them. Sometimes his words were high-sounding and emphatic8; again, he unwittingly gave a clumsy and vulgar tone to his letter: one could read between the lines a common and uncouth9 irony10, as often as extraordinary pride, or abject11 humility12.

At last, seeing that he could not find a form clear enough to express his thoughts, he decided13 to write a laconic14 letter, asking Rafaela to grant him an interview.

He gave Juan the letter to give to his young mistress. He was waiting at the door for some one to answer his ring, when Remedios appeared.

“See here,” said the child.

“What’s the matter?”

“Don’t you know? Rafaela is going to marry Juan de Dios.”

“Does she love him?”

“No; I don’t think she does.”

“Then why does she marry him?”

“Because Juan de Dios is very rich, and we have no money.”

“But will she want to do it?”

“She hasn’t said anything about it. Juan de Dios spoke15 to grandfather, and grandfather spoke to Rafaela. Are you going to see sister?”

“Yes, this very minute.”

“She’s in the sewing-room.”

They went to the door.

“Tell her not to marry Juan de Dios.”

“Don’t you like him?”

“No. I hate him. He’s vulgar.”

Quentin went in, glided16 along the gallery, and knocked upon the door of the sewing-room.

“Come in!” said some one.[166]

Rafaela and the old woman servant were sewing. As Quentin appeared a slight flush spread over the girl’s cheeks.

“What a long time it is since you have been here!” said Rafaela. “Won’t you sit down?”

Quentin gave her to understand with a gesture that he preferred to remain standing17.

“Have you been so very busy?” asked the girl.

“No; I’ve had nothing to do,” answered Quentin gruffly. “I’ve spent my time being furious these days.”

“Furious! At what?” said she with a certain smiling coquetry.

“At you.”

“At me?”

“Yes. Will you let me speak to you alone a minute?”

“You may speak here, before my nurse. She will defend me in case you accuse me of anything.”

“Accuse you? No, not that.”

“Well, then, why were you so furious?”

“I was furious, first because they told me that you once had a sweetheart whom you loved; and second, because they say that you are going to get married.”

Rafaela, who perhaps did not expect such a brusque way of putting the matter, dropped her sewing and rose to her feet.

“You, too, are a child,” she murmured at length. “What can one do with what is gone by? I had a sweetheart, it is true, for six years—and I was in love with him.”

“Yes; I know it,” said Quentin furiously.

“If he acted badly,” Rafaela continued, as if talking to herself, “so much the worse for him. There is no[167] recollection of my childhood that is not connected with him. In his company I went to the theatre for the first time, and to my first dance. What little happiness I have had in my life, came to me during the time I knew him. My mother was living then; my family was considered wealthy.... Yet, if that man were free, and wished to marry me now, I would not marry him; not from spite, no—but because to me he is a different man.... I say this to you because I feel I know you, and because you are like my sister Remedios: you demand an exclusive affection.”

“And don’t you?” demanded Quentin brusquely.

“I do too; perhaps not as much as you; but neither do I believe that I could share my affection with another. I must not deceive you in this. You would be capable of being jealous of the past.”

“Probably,” said Quentin.

“I know it. I don’t believe that I have flirted18 with you; have I?”

Rafaela spoke at some length. She had that graciousness of those persons whose emotions are not easily stirred. Her heart needed time to feel affection; an impulse of the moment could not make her believe herself in love.

She was a woman destined19 for the hearth20; to be seen going to and fro, arranging everything, directing everything; to be heard playing the piano in the afternoons. In a burst of frankness, Rafaela said:

“Had I listened to your hints, I should have made you unhappy without wishing to, and you would have made me miserable.”

“Then how is it that you are going to marry Juan de Dios?” asked Quentin brutally21.[168]

Rafaela was confused.

“That’s different,” she stammered22; “in the first place, I have not decided yet; and besides, I have made my conditions. Then again, there is this great difference: Juan de Dios is not jealous of my past love affair ... he wants my title. [In this moment, Rafaela is sure that she is calumniating23 her betrothed24 in order to get out of her difficulty.] Moreover, my whole family is interested in my marrying him. If I do so, my grandfather, poor dear, will be easy in his mind; Remedios will be sure of being able to live according to her station,—and so shall I.”

“You are very discreet25; too discreet—and calculating,” said Quentin bitterly.

“No; not too much so. What would happen to us girls otherwise?”

“What about me?”

“You?”

“Yes, me; I would work for you if you loved me.”

“That could never be.”

“Why?”

“For many reasons. First of all, because I am older than you....”

“Bah!”

“Let me speak. First, because I am older than you; second, because you would be jealous of me and would continually mortify26 me; and lastly, most important of all, because you and I are both poor.”

“I shall make money,” said Quentin.

“How? With what? Why aren’t you making it now?”

“Now?” questioned Quentin after a pause. “Now I have no ideal; it’s all the same to me whether I’m rich[169] or poor. But if you believed in me, you’d find that I could snatch money from the very bowels27 of the earth.”

“Possibly, yes,” said Rafaela calmly; “because you are clever. But those are my reasons. Some day, when you recall our conversation, you will say: ‘she was right.’”

“You are very discreet,” said Quentin as he turned toward the door; “too discreet; and you have discreetly28 torn asunder29 all my illusions, and have left my soul in shreds30.”

“Do you hate me now?” she said sadly.

“Hate you, no!” exclaimed Quentin with emotion, effusively31 pressing the hand Rafaela held out to him. “You are an admirable woman in every respect!”

And trembling violently, he left the room.

As he went down the stairs Remedios rushed up to him.

“What did she say to you?” she asked.

“It’s no use; she’s going to marry him.”

“Did she tell you that herself?”

“Yes.”

“And you. What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?”

“I’d kill Juan de Dios,” murmured the girl resolutely32.

“If she wished it, I would, too,” replied Quentin, and he stepped into the street.

He walked along in a daze33; he repeated Rafaela’s words to himself, and discovered better arguments that he might have put forward in the interview, but which did not occur to him at the moment. Sometimes he thought, more rationally: “At least I came out of it[170] well;” but this consolation34 was too metaphysical to satisfy him.

He spent a sleepless35 night at his window watching the stars and thinking. He analyzed36 and studied his moral problem, proposing solutions, only to reject them.

At dawn he went to bed. He believed that he had hit upon a definite solution—the norm of his existence. Condensed into a single phrase, it was this:

“I must become a man of action.”


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 profligate b15zV     
adj.行为不检的;n.放荡的人,浪子,肆意挥霍者
参考例句:
  • This young man had all the inclination to be a profligate of the first water.这个青年完全有可能成为十足的浪子。
  • Similarly Americans have been profligate in the handling of mineral resources.同样的,美国在处理矿产资源方面亦多浪费。
2 filth Cguzj     
n.肮脏,污物,污秽;淫猥
参考例句:
  • I don't know how you can read such filth.我不明白你怎么会去读这种淫秽下流的东西。
  • The dialogue was all filth and innuendo.这段对话全是下流的言辞和影射。
3 perplexed A3Rz0     
adj.不知所措的
参考例句:
  • The farmer felt the cow,went away,returned,sorely perplexed,always afraid of being cheated.那农民摸摸那头牛,走了又回来,犹豫不决,总怕上当受骗。
  • The child was perplexed by the intricate plot of the story.这孩子被那头绪纷繁的故事弄得迷惑不解。
4 wretch EIPyl     
n.可怜的人,不幸的人;卑鄙的人
参考例句:
  • You are really an ungrateful wretch to complain instead of thanking him.你不但不谢他,还埋怨他,真不知好歹。
  • The dead husband is not the dishonoured wretch they fancied him.死去的丈夫不是他们所想象的不光彩的坏蛋。
5 provincial Nt8ye     
adj.省的,地方的;n.外省人,乡下人
参考例句:
  • City dwellers think country folk have provincial attitudes.城里人以为乡下人思想迂腐。
  • Two leading cadres came down from the provincial capital yesterday.昨天从省里下来了两位领导干部。
6 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的
参考例句:
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
7 idiotic wcFzd     
adj.白痴的
参考例句:
  • It is idiotic to go shopping with no money.去买东西而不带钱是很蠢的。
  • The child's idiotic deeds caused his family much trouble.那小孩愚蠢的行为给家庭带来许多麻烦。
8 emphatic 0P1zA     
adj.强调的,着重的;无可置疑的,明显的
参考例句:
  • Their reply was too emphatic for anyone to doubt them.他们的回答很坚决,不容有任何人怀疑。
  • He was emphatic about the importance of being punctual.他强调严守时间的重要性。
9 uncouth DHryn     
adj.无教养的,粗鲁的
参考例句:
  • She may embarrass you with her uncouth behavior.她的粗野行为可能会让你尴尬。
  • His nephew is an uncouth young man.他的侄子是一个粗野的年轻人。
10 irony P4WyZ     
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄
参考例句:
  • She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
  • In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。
11 abject joVyh     
adj.极可怜的,卑屈的
参考例句:
  • This policy has turned out to be an abject failure.这一政策最后以惨败而告终。
  • He had been obliged to offer an abject apology to Mr.Alleyne for his impertinence.他不得不低声下气,为他的无礼举动向艾莱恩先生请罪。
12 humility 8d6zX     
n.谦逊,谦恭
参考例句:
  • Humility often gains more than pride.谦逊往往比骄傲收益更多。
  • His voice was still soft and filled with specious humility.他的声音还是那么温和,甚至有点谦卑。
13 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
14 laconic 59Dzo     
adj.简洁的;精练的
参考例句:
  • He sent me a laconic private message.他给我一封简要的私人函件。
  • This response was typical of the writer's laconic wit.这个回答反映了这位作家精练简明的特点。
15 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
16 glided dc24e51e27cfc17f7f45752acf858ed1     
v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 );掠过;(鸟或飞机 ) 滑翔
参考例句:
  • The President's motorcade glided by. 总统的车队一溜烟开了过去。
  • They glided along the wall until they were out of sight. 他们沿着墙壁溜得无影无踪。 来自《简明英汉词典》
17 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
18 flirted 49ccefe40dd4c201ecb595cadfecc3a3     
v.调情,打情骂俏( flirt的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She flirted her fan. 她急速挥动着扇子。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • During his four months in Egypt he flirted with religious emotions. 在埃及逗留的这四个月期间,他又玩弄起宗教情绪来了。 来自辞典例句
19 destined Dunznz     
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的
参考例句:
  • It was destined that they would marry.他们结婚是缘分。
  • The shipment is destined for America.这批货物将运往美国。
20 hearth n5by9     
n.壁炉炉床,壁炉地面
参考例句:
  • She came and sat in a chair before the hearth.她走过来,在炉子前面的椅子上坐下。
  • She comes to the hearth,and switches on the electric light there.她走到壁炉那里,打开电灯。
21 brutally jSRya     
adv.残忍地,野蛮地,冷酷无情地
参考例句:
  • The uprising was brutally put down.起义被残酷地镇压下去了。
  • A pro-democracy uprising was brutally suppressed.一场争取民主的起义被残酷镇压了。
22 stammered 76088bc9384c91d5745fd550a9d81721     
v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He stammered most when he was nervous. 他一紧张往往口吃。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • Barsad leaned back in his chair, and stammered, \"What do you mean?\" 巴萨往椅背上一靠,结结巴巴地说,“你是什么意思?” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
23 calumniating 47c8558ce6e3d6a27bdc50479875c33c     
v.诽谤,中伤( calumniate的现在分词 )
参考例句:
24 betrothed betrothed     
n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • She is betrothed to John. 她同约翰订了婚。
  • His daughter was betrothed to a teacher. 他的女儿同一个教师订了婚。
25 discreet xZezn     
adj.(言行)谨慎的;慎重的;有判断力的
参考例句:
  • He is very discreet in giving his opinions.发表意见他十分慎重。
  • It wasn't discreet of you to ring me up at the office.你打电话到我办公室真是太鲁莽了。
26 mortify XweyN     
v.克制,禁欲,使受辱
参考例句:
  • The first Sunday,in particular,their behaviours served to mortify me.到了这里第一个星期,她们的行为几乎把我气死。
  • For if ye live after the flesh,ye shall die:but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body,ye shall live.你们若顺从肉体活着必要死。若靠着圣灵治死身体的恶行必要活着。
27 bowels qxMzez     
n.肠,内脏,内部;肠( bowel的名词复数 );内部,最深处
参考例句:
  • Salts is a medicine that causes movements of the bowels. 泻盐是一种促使肠子运动的药物。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The cabins are in the bowels of the ship. 舱房设在船腹内。 来自《简明英汉词典》
28 discreetly nuwz8C     
ad.(言行)审慎地,慎重地
参考例句:
  • He had only known the perennial widow, the discreetly expensive Frenchwoman. 他只知道她是个永远那么年轻的寡妇,一个很会讲排场的法国女人。
  • Sensing that Lilian wanted to be alone with Celia, Andrew discreetly disappeared. 安德鲁觉得莉莲想同西莉亚单独谈些什么,有意避开了。
29 asunder GVkzU     
adj.分离的,化为碎片
参考例句:
  • The curtains had been drawn asunder.窗帘被拉向两边。
  • Your conscience,conviction,integrity,and loyalties were torn asunder.你的良心、信念、正直和忠诚都被扯得粉碎了。
30 shreds 0288daa27f5fcbe882c0eaedf23db832     
v.撕碎,切碎( shred的第三人称单数 );用撕毁机撕毁(文件)
参考例句:
  • Peel the carrots and cut them into shreds. 将胡罗卜削皮,切成丝。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I want to take this diary and rip it into shreds. 我真想一赌气扯了这日记。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说
31 effusively fbc26a651b6272e4b186c66a03e5595b     
adv.变溢地,热情洋溢地
参考例句:
  • We were effusively welcomed by the patron and his wife. 我们受到老板和他妻子的热忱欢迎。 来自辞典例句
  • The critics praised her effusively. 评论家们热情洋溢地表扬了她。 来自互联网
32 resolutely WW2xh     
adj.坚决地,果断地
参考例句:
  • He resolutely adhered to what he had said at the meeting. 他坚持他在会上所说的话。
  • He grumbles at his lot instead of resolutely facing his difficulties. 他不是果敢地去面对困难,而是抱怨自己运气不佳。
33 daze vnyzH     
v.(使)茫然,(使)发昏
参考例句:
  • The blow on the head dazed him for a moment.他头上受了一击后就昏眩了片刻。
  • I like dazing to sit in the cafe by myself on Sunday.星期日爱独坐人少的咖啡室发呆。
34 consolation WpbzC     
n.安慰,慰问
参考例句:
  • The children were a great consolation to me at that time.那时孩子们成了我的莫大安慰。
  • This news was of little consolation to us.这个消息对我们来说没有什么安慰。
35 sleepless oiBzGN     
adj.不睡眠的,睡不著的,不休息的
参考例句:
  • The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
  • One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上,我听说了一个传闻,把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。
36 analyzed 483f1acae53789fbee273a644fdcda80     
v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 );分解;解释;对…进行心理分析
参考例句:
  • The doctors analyzed the blood sample for anemia. 医生们分析了贫血的血样。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The young man did not analyze the process of his captivation and enrapturement, for love to him was a mystery and could not be analyzed. 这年轻人没有分析自己蛊惑著迷的过程,因为对他来说,爱是个不可分析的迷。 来自《简明英汉词典》


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