Chapter 2

　　Tradesmen and the scraper still troublesome. Gowing rather tiresomewith his complaints of the paint. I make one of the best jokes of my life.

　　Delights of Gardening. Mr. Stillbrook, Gowing, Cummings, and I have alittle misunderstanding. Sarah makes me look a fool before CummingsApril 9. - Commenced the morning badly. The butcher, whom wedecided NOT to arrange with, called and blackguarded me in the mostuncalled-for manner. He began by abusing me, and saying he did notwant my custom. I simply said: "Then what are you making all thisfuss about it for?" And he shouted out at the top of his voice, so that allthe neighbours could hear: "Pah! go along. Ugh! I could buy up'things' like you by the dozen!"I shut the door, and was giving Carrie to understand that thisdisgraceful scene was entirely¹ her fault, when there was a violent kickingat the door, enough to break the panels. It was the blackguard butcheragain, who said he had cut his foot over the scraper, and wouldimmediately bring an action against me. Called at Farmerson's, theironmonger, on my way to town, and gave him the job of moving thescraper and repairing the bells, thinking it scarcely worth while to troublethe landlord with such a trifling² matter.

　　Arrived home tired and worried. Mr. Putley, a painter and decorator,who had sent in a card, said he could not match the colour on the stairs, asit contained Indian carmine³. He said he spent half-a-day calling atwarehouses to see if he could get it. He suggested he should entirelyrepaint the stairs. It would cost very little more; if he tried to match it, hecould only make a bad job of it. It would be more satisfactory to him andto us to have the work done properly. I consented, but felt I had beentalked over. Planted some mustard-and-cress and radishes, and went tobed at nine.

　　April 10. - Farmerson came round to attend to the scraper himself. Heseems a very civil fellow. He says he does not usually conduct such small jobs personally, but for me he would do so. I thanked him, andwent to town. It is disgraceful how late some of the young clerks are atarriving. I told three of them that if Mr. Perkupp, the principal, heard ofit, they might be discharged.

　　Pitt, a monkey of seventeen, who has only been with us six weeks, toldme "to keep my hair on!" I informed him I had had the honour of beingin the firm twenty years, to which he insolently⁴ replied that I "looked it."I gave him an indignant look, and said: "I demand from you somerespect, sir." He replied: "All right, go on demanding." I would notargue with him any further. You cannot argue with people like that. Inthe evening Gowing called, and repeated his complaint about the smell ofpaint. Gowing is sometimes very tedious with his remarks, and notalways cautious; and Carrie once very properly reminded him that she waspresent.

　　April 11. - Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. To-daywas a day of annoyances⁵. I missed the quarter-to-nine 'bus to the City,through having words with the grocer's boy, who for the second time hadthe impertinence to bring his basket to the hall- door, and had left themarks of his dirty boots on the fresh- cleaned door-steps. He said he hadknocked at the side door with his knuckles⁶ for a quarter of an hour. Iknew Sarah, our servant, could not hear this, as she was upstairs doing thebedrooms, so asked the boy why he did not ring the bell? He replied thathe did pull the bell, but the handle came off in his hand.

　　I was half-an-hour late at the office, a thing that has never happened tome before. There has recently been much irregularity in the attendanceof the clerks, and Mr. Perkupp, our principal, unfortunately choose thisvery morning to pounce⁷ down upon us early. Someone had given the tipto the others. The result was that I was the only one late of the lot.

　　Buckling, one of the senior clerks, was a brick, and I was saved by hisintervention. As I passed by Pitt's desk, I heard him remark to hisneighbour: "How disgracefully late some of the head clerks arrive!" Thiswas, of course, meant for me. I treated the observation with silence,simply giving him a look, which unfortunately had the effect of makingboth of the clerks laugh. Thought afterwards it would have been more dignified⁸ if I had pretended not to have heard him at all. Cummingscalled in the evening, and we played dominoes.

　　April 12. - Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. LeftFarmerson repairing the scraper, but when I came home found three menworking. I asked the meaning of it, and Farmerson said that in making afresh hole he had penetrated⁹ the gas-pipe. He said it was a mostridiculous place to put the gas-pipe, and the man who did it evidentlyknew nothing about his business. I felt his excuse was no consolation¹⁰ forthe expense I shall be put to.

　　In the evening, after tea, Gowing dropped in, and we had a smoketogether in the breakfast-parlour. Carrie joined us later, but did not staylong, saying the smoke was too much for her. It was also rather toomuch for me, for Gowing had given me what he called a green cigar, onethat his friend Shoemach had just brought over from America. The cigardidn't look green, but I fancy I must have done so; for when I had smokeda little more than half I was obliged to retire on the pretext¹¹ of telling Sarahto bring in the glasses.

　　I took a walk round the garden three or four times, feeling the need offresh air. On returning Gowing noticed I was not smoking: offered meanother cigar, which I politely declined. Gowing began his usual sniffing,so, anticipating him, I said: "You're not going to complain of the smell ofpaint again?" He said: "No, not this time; but I'll tell you what, Idistinctly smell dry rot." I don't often make jokes, but I replied:

　　"You're talking a lot of DRY ROT yourself." I could not help roaring atthis, and Carrie said her sides quite ached with laughter. I never was soimmensely tickled¹² by anything I have ever said before. I actually wokeup twice during the night, and laughed till the bed shook.

　　April 13. - An extraordinary coincidence: Carrie had called in awoman to make some chintz covers for our drawing-room chairs and sofato prevent the sun fading the green rep of the furniture. I saw the woman,and recognised her as a woman who used to work years ago for my oldaunt at Clapham. It only shows how small the world is.

　　April 14. - Spent the whole of the afternoon in the garden, having thismorning picked up at a bookstall for fivepence a capital little book, in good condition, on GARDENING. I procured¹³ and sowed some half-hardy annuals in what I fancy will be a warm, sunny border. I thought ofa joke, and called out Carrie. Carrie came out rather testy¹⁴, I thought.

　　said: "I have just discovered we have got a lodging-house." She replied:

　　"How do you mean?" I said: "Look at the BOARDERS." Carrie said:

　　"Is that all you wanted me for?" I said: "Any other time you wouldhave laughed at my little pleasantry." Carrie said: "Certainly - AT ANYOTHER TIME, but not when I am busy in the house." The stairs lookedvery nice. Gowing called, and said the stairs looked ALL RIGHT, but itmade the banisters look ALL WRONG, and suggested a coat of paint onthem also, which Carrie quite agreed with. I walked round to Putley, andfortunately he was out, so I had a good excuse to let the banisters slide.

　　By-the-by, that is rather funny.

　　April 15, Sunday. - At three o'clock Cummings and Gowing called fora good long walk over Hampstead and Finchley, and brought with them afriend named Stillbrook. We walked and chatted together, exceptStillbrook, who was always a few yards behind us staring at the groundand cutting at the grass with his stick.

　　As it was getting on for five, we four held a consultation¹⁵, and Gowingsuggested that we should make for "The Cow and Hedge" and get sometea. Stillbrook said: "A brandy-and-soda was good enough for him."I reminded them that all public-houses were closed till six o'clock.

　　Stillbrook said, "That's all right - BONA-FIDE travellers."We arrived; and as I was trying to pass, the man in charge of the gatesaid: "Where from?" I replied: "Holloway." He immediately put uphis arm, and declined to let me pass. I turned back for a moment, when Isaw Stillbrook, closely followed by Cummings and Gowing, make for theentrance. I watched them, and thought I would have a good laugh at theirexpense, I heard the porter say: "Where from?" When, to my surprise,in fact disgust, Stillbrook replied: "Blackheath," and the three wereimmediately admitted.

　　Gowing called to me across the gate, and said: "We shan't be aminute." I waited for them the best part of an hour. When theyappeared they were all in most excellent spirits, and the only one who made an effort to apologise was Mr. Stillbrook, who said to me: "It wasvery rough on you to be kept waiting, but we had another spin for S. andB.'s." I walked home in silence; I couldn't speak to them. I felt verydull all the evening, but deemed it advisable NOT to say anything toCarrie about the matter.

　　April 16. - After business, set to work in the garden. When it gotdark I wrote to Cummings and Gowing (who neither called, for a wonder;perhaps they were ashamed of themselves) about yesterday's adventure at"The Cow and Hedge." Afterwards made up my mind not to write YET.

　　April 17. - Thought I would write a kind little note to Gowing andCummings about last Sunday, and warning them against Mr. Stillbrook.

　　Afterwards, thinking the matter over, tore up the letters and determinednot to WRITE at all, but to SPEAK quietly to them. Dumfounded atreceiving a sharp letter from Cummings, saying that both he and Gowinghad been waiting for an explanation of MY (mind you, MY) extraordinaryconduct coming home on Sunday. At last I wrote: "I thought I was theaggrieved party; but as I freely forgive you, you - feeling yourselfaggrieved - should bestow¹⁶ forgiveness on me." I have copied thisVERBATIM in the diary, because I think it is one of the most perfect andthoughtful sentences I have ever written. I posted the letter, but in myown heart I felt I was actually apologising for having been insulted.

　　April 18. - Am in for a cold. Spent the whole day at the officesneezing. In the evening, the cold being intolerable, sent Sarah out for abottle of Kinahan. Fell asleep in the arm-chair, and woke with theshivers. Was startled by a loud knock at the front door. Carrie awfullyflurried. Sarah still out, so went up, opened the door, and found it wasonly Cummings. Remembered the grocer's boy had again broken theside-bell. Cummings squeezed my hand, and said: "I've just seenGowing. All right. Say no more about it." There is no doubt they areboth under the impression I have apologised.

　　While playing dominoes with Cummings in the parlour, he said:

　　"By-the-by, do you want any wine or spirits? My cousin Merton has justset up in the trade, and has a splendid whisky, four years in bottle, atthirty-eight shillings. It is worth your while laying down a few dozen of it." I told him my cellars, which were very small, were full up. To myhorror, at that very moment, Sarah entered the room, and putting a bottleof whisky, wrapped in a dirty piece of newspaper, on the table in front ofus, said: "Please, sir, the grocer says he ain't got no more Kinahan, butyou'll find this very good at two-and-six, with twopence returned on thebottle; and, please, did you want any more sherry? as he has some at one-and-three, as dry as a nut!"

1 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

2 trifling   

adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的

参考例句：

• They quarreled over a trifling matter.他们为这种微不足道的事情争吵。
• So far Europe has no doubt, gained a real conveniency,though surely a very trifling one.直到现在为止,欧洲无疑地已经获得了实在的便利，不过那确是一种微不足道的便利。

3 carmine   

n.深红色，洋红色

参考例句：

• The wind of the autumn color the maples carmine.秋风给枫林涂抹胭红。
• The dish is fresh,fragrant,salty and sweet with the carmine color.这道菜用材新鲜，香甜入口，颜色殷红。

4 insolently   

adv.自豪地，自傲地

参考例句：

• No does not respect, speak insolently,satire, etc for TT management team member. 不得发表对TT管理层人员不尊重、出言不逊、讽刺等等的帖子。 来自互联网
• He had replied insolently to his superiors. 他傲慢地回答了他上司的问题。 来自互联网

5 annoyances   

n.恼怒( annoyance的名词复数 )；烦恼；打扰；使人烦恼的事

参考例句：

• At dinner that evening two annoyances kept General Zaroff from perfect enjoyment one. 当天晚上吃饭时，有两件不称心的事令沙洛夫吃得不很香。 来自辞典例句
• Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances-don't we all? 事实上我有很多类似的小烦恼，我们不都有这种小烦恼吗？ 来自互联网

6 knuckles   

n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝

参考例句：

• He gripped the wheel until his knuckles whitened. 他紧紧握住方向盘，握得指关节都变白了。
• Her thin hands were twisted by swollen knuckles. 她那双纤手因肿大的指关节而变了形。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 pounce   

n.猛扑；v.猛扑，突然袭击，欣然同意

参考例句：

• Why do you pounce on every single thing I say?干吗我说的每句话你都要找麻烦？
• We saw the tiger about to pounce on the goat.我们看见老虎要向那只山羊扑过去。

8 dignified   

a.可敬的，高贵的

参考例句：

• Throughout his trial he maintained a dignified silence. 在整个审讯过程中，他始终沉默以保持尊严。
• He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。

9 penetrated   

adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式

参考例句：

• The knife had penetrated his chest. 刀子刺入了他的胸膛。
• They penetrated into territory where no man had ever gone before. 他们已进入先前没人去过的地区。

10 consolation   

n.安慰，慰问

参考例句：

• The children were a great consolation to me at that time.那时孩子们成了我的莫大安慰。
• This news was of little consolation to us.这个消息对我们来说没有什么安慰。

11 pretext   

n.借口，托词

参考例句：

• He used his headache as a pretext for not going to school.他借口头疼而不去上学。
• He didn't attend that meeting under the pretext of sickness.他以生病为借口，没参加那个会议。

12 tickled   

（使）发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）愉快，逗乐

参考例句：

• We were tickled pink to see our friends on television. 在电视中看到我们的一些朋友，我们高兴极了。
• I tickled the baby's feet and made her laugh. 我胳肢孩子的脚，使她发笑。

13 procured   

v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条

参考例句：

• These cars are to be procured through open tender. 这些汽车要用公开招标的办法购买。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• A friend procured a position in the bank for my big brother. 一位朋友为我哥哥谋得了一个银行的职位。 来自《用法词典》

14 testy   

adj.易怒的；暴躁的

参考例句：

• Ben's getting a little testy in his old age.上了年纪后本变得有点性急了。
• A doctor was called in to see a rather testy aristocrat.一个性格相当暴躁的贵族召来了一位医生为他检查。

15 consultation   

n.咨询；商量；商议；会议

参考例句：

• The company has promised wide consultation on its expansion plans.该公司允诺就其扩展计划广泛征求意见。
• The scheme was developed in close consultation with the local community.该计划是在同当地社区密切磋商中逐渐形成的。

16 bestow   

v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费

参考例句：

• He wished to bestow great honors upon the hero.他希望将那些伟大的荣誉授予这位英雄。
• What great inspiration wiII you bestow on me?你有什么伟大的灵感能馈赠给我？