Chapter 11

　　We have a dose of Irving imitations. Make the acquaintance of a Mr.

　　Padge. Don't care for him. Mr. Burwin-Fosselton becomes a nuisance.

　　November 20. - Have seen nothing of Lupin the whole day. Boughta cheap address-book. I spent the evening copying in the names andaddresses of my friends and acquaintances. Left out the Mutlars ofcourse.

　　November 21. - Lupin turned up for a few minutes in the evening. Heasked for a drop of brandy with a sort of careless look, which to my mindwas theatrical¹ and quite ineffective. I said: "My boy, I have none, and Idon't think I should give it you if I had." Lupin said: "I'll go where I canget some," and walked out of the house. Carrie took the boy's part, andthe rest of the evening was spent in a disagreeable discussion, in which thewords "Daisy" and "Mutlar" must have occurred a thousand times.

　　November 22. - Gowing and Cummings dropped in during the evening.

　　Lupin also came in, bringing his friend, Mr. Burwin-Fosselton - one of the"Holloway Comedians²" - who was at our party the other night, and whocracked our little round table. Happy to say Daisy Mutlar was neverreferred to. The conversation was almost entirely³ monopolised by theyoung fellow Fosselton, who not only looked rather like Mr. Irving, butseemed to imagine that he WAS the celebrated⁴ actor. I must say he gavesome capital imitations of him. As he showed no signs of moving atsupper time, I said: "If you like to stay, Mr. Fosselton, for our usual crust- pray do." He replied: "Oh! thanks; but please call me Burwin-Fosselton.

　　It is a double name. There are lots of Fosseltons, but please call meBurwin-Fosselton."He began doing the Irving business all through supper. He sank solow down in his chair that his chin was almost on a level with the table,and twice he kicked Carrie under the table, upset his wine, and flashed aknife uncomfortably near Gowing's face. After supper he kept stretchingout his legs on the fender, indulging in scraps⁵ of quotations⁶ from plays which were Greek to me, and more than once knocked over the fire-irons,making a hideous⁷ row - poor Carrie already having a bad head-ache.

　　When he went, he said, to our surprise: "I will come to-morrow andbring my Irving make-up." Gowing and Cummings said they would liketo see it and would come too. I could not help thinking they might aswell give a party at my house while they are about it. However, as Carriesensibly said: "Do anything, dear, to make Lupin forget the Daisy Mutlarbusiness."November 23. - In the evening, Cummings came early. Gowingcame a little later and brought, without asking permission, a fat and, Ithink, very vulgar-looking man named Padge, who appeared to be allmoustache. Gowing never attempted any apology to either of us, but saidPadge wanted to see the Irving business, to which Padge said: "That'sright," and that is about all he DID say during the entire evening. Lupincame in and seemed in much better spirits. He had prepared a bit of asurprise. Mr. Burwin-Fosselton had come in with him, but had goneupstairs to get ready. In half-an-hour Lupin retired⁹ from the parlour, andreturning in a few minutes, announced "Mr. Henry Irving."I must say we were all astounded¹⁰. I never saw such a resemblance. Itwas astonishing. The only person who did not appear interested was theman Padge, who had got the best arm-chair, and was puffing¹¹ away at afoul pipe into the fireplace. After some little time I said; "Why do actorsalways wear their hair so long?" Carrie in a moment said, "Mr. Haredoesn't wear long HAIR." How we laughed except Mr. Fosselton, whosaid, in a rather patronising kind of way, "The joke, Mrs. Pooter, isextremely appropriate, if not altogether new." Thinking this rather a snub,I said: "Mr. Fosselton, I fancy - " He interrupted me by saying: "Mr.

　　BURWIN- Fosselton, if you please," which made me quite forget what Iwas going to say to him. During the supper Mr. Burwin-Fosselton againmonopolised the conversation with his Irving talk, and both Carrie and Icame to the conclusion one can have even too much imitation of Irving.

　　After supper, Mr. Burwin-Fosselton got a little too boisterous¹² over hisIrving imitation, and suddenly seizing Gowing by the collar of his coat,dug his thumb-nail, accidentally of course, into Gowing's neck and took a piece of flesh out. Gowing was rightly annoyed, but that man Padge,who having declined our modest supper in order that he should not losehis comfortable chair, burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter at thelittle misadventure. I was so annoyed at the conduct of Padge, I said: "Isuppose you would have laughed if he had poked¹³ Mr. Gowing's eye out?"to which Padge replied: "That's right," and laughed more than ever.

　　think perhaps the greatest surprise was when we broke up, for Mr. Burwin-Fosselton said: "Good-night, Mr. Pooter. I'm glad you like theimitation, I'll bring THE OTHER MAKE-UP TO-MORROW NIGHT."November 24. - I went to town without a pocket-handkerchief. Thisis the second time I have done this during the last week. I must be losingmy memory. Had it not been for this Daisy Mutlar business, I wouldhave written to Mr. Burwin-Fosselton and told him I should be out thisevening, but I fancy he is the sort of young man who would come all thesame.

　　Dear old Cummings came in the evening; but Gowing sent round alittle note saying he hoped I would excuse his not turning up, which ratheramused me. He added that his neck was still painful. Of course, Burwin-Fosselton came, but Lupin never turned up, and imagine my utter disgustwhen that man Padge actually came again, and not even accompanied byGowing. I was exasperated¹⁵, and said: "Mr. Padge, this is a SURPRISE."Dear Carrie, fearing unpleasantness, said: "Oh! I suppose Mr. Padge hasonly come to see the other Irving make-up." Mr. Padge said: "That'sright," and took the best chair again, from which he never moved thewhole evening.

　　My only consolation¹⁶ is, he takes no supper, so he is not an expensiveguest, but I shall speak to Gowing about the matter. The Irvingimitations and conversations occupied the whole evening, till I was sick ofit. Once we had a rather heated discussion, which was commenced byCummings saying that it appeared to him that Mr. Burwin-Fosselton wasnot only LIKE Mr. Irving, but was in his judgment¹⁷ every way as GOOD oreven BETTER. I ventured to remark that after all it was but an imitationof an original.

　　Cummings said surely some imitations were better than the originals.

　　 I made what I considered a very clever remark: "Without an original therecan be no imitation." Mr. Burwin- Fosselton said quite impertinently:

　　"Don't discuss me in my presence, if you please; and, Mr. Pooter, I shouldadvise you to talk about what you understand;" to which that cad Padgereplied: "That's right." Dear Carrie saved the whole thing by suddenlysaying: "I'll be Ellen Terry." Dear Carrie's imitation wasn't a bit liked,but she was so spontaneous and so funny that the disagreeable discussionpassed off. When they left, I very pointedly¹⁹ said to Mr. Burwin-Fosselton and Mr. Padge that we should be engaged to-morrow evening.

　　November 25. - Had a long letter from Mr. Fosselton respecting lastnight's Irving discussion. I was very angry, and I wrote and said I knewlittle or nothing about stage matters, was not in the least interested in themand positively²⁰ declined to be drawn²¹ into a discussion on the subject, evenat the risk of its leading to a breach²² of friendship. I never wrote a moredetermined letter.

　　On returning home at the usual hour on Saturday afternoon I met nearthe Archway Daisy Mutlar. My heart gave a leap. I bowed rather stiffly,but she affected²³ not to have seen me. Very much annoyed in the eveningby the laundress sending home an odd sock. Sarah said she sent two pairs,and the laundress declared only a pair and a half were sent. I spoke²⁴ toCarrie about it, but she rather testily²⁵ replied: "I am tired of speaking toher; you had better go and speak to her yourself. She is outside." I didso, but the laundress declared that only an odd sock was sent.

　　Gowing passed into the passage at this time and was rude enough tolisten to the conversation, and interrupting, said: "Don't waste the oddsock, old man; do an act of charity and give it to some poor mar¹⁸ with onlyone leg." The laundress giggled²⁶ like an idiot. I was disgusted and walkedupstairs for the purpose of pinning down my collar, as the button hadcome off the back of my shirt.

　　When I returned to the parlour, Gowing was retailing²⁷ his idiotic²⁸ jokeabout the odd sock, and Carrie was roaring with laughter. I suppose I amlosing my sense of humour. I spoke my mind pretty freely about Padge.

　　Gowing said he had met him only once before that evening. He had beenintroduced by a friend, and as he (Padge) had "stood" a good dinner, Gowing wished to show him some little return. Upon my word,Gowing's coolness surpasses all belief. Lupin came in before I couldreply, and Gowing unfortunately inquired after Daisy Mutlar. Lupinshouted: "Mind your own business, sir!" and bounced out of the room,slamming the door. The remainder of the night was Daisy Mutlar - DaisyMutlar - Daisy Mutlar. Oh dear!

　　November 26, Sunday. - The curate preached a very good sermon today - very good indeed. His appearance is never so impressive as ourdear old vicar's, but I am bound to say his sermons are much moreimpressive. A rather annoying incident occurred, of which I must makemention. Mrs. Fernlosse, who is quite a grand lady, living in one of thoselarge houses in the Camden Road, stopped to speak to me after church,when we were all coming out. I must say I felt flattered, for she isthought a good deal of. I suppose she knew me through seeing me sooften take round the plate, especially as she always occupies the cornerseat of the pew. She is a very influential²⁹ lady, and may have hadsomething of the utmost importance to say, but unfortunately, as shecommenced to speak a strong gust¹⁴ of wind came and blew my hat off intothe middle of the road.

　　I had to run after it, and had the greatest difficulty in recovering it.

　　When I had succeeded in doing so, I found Mrs. Fernlosse had walked onwith some swell⁸ friends, and I felt I could not well approach her now,especially as my hat was smothered³⁰ with mud. I cannot say howdisappointed I felt.

　　In the evening (SUNDAY evening of all others) I found an impertinentnote from Mr. Burwin-Fosselton, which ran as follows:

　　"Dear Mr. Pooter, - Although your junior by perhaps some twenty orthirty years - which is sufficient reason that you ought to have a longerrecord of the things and ways in this miniature of a planet - I feel it is justwithin the bounds of possibility that the wheels of your life don't travel soquickly round as those of the humble³¹ writer of these lines. The dandyhorse of past days has been known to overtake the SLOW COACH.

　　"Do I make myself understood?

　　"Very well, then! Permit me, Mr. Pooter, to advise you to accept the VERB. SAP. Acknowledge your defeat, and take your whippinggracefully; for remember you threw down the glove, and I cannot claim tobe either mentally or physically³² a COWARD!

　　"REVENONS E NOS MOUTONS.

　　"Our lives run in different grooves³³. I live for MY ART - THESTAGE. Your life is devoted³⁴ to commercial pursuits - 'A life amongLedgers.' My books are of different metal. Your life in the City ishonourable, I admit. BUT HOW DIFFERENT! Cannot even you seethe³⁵ ocean between us? A channel that prevents the meeting of our brainsin harmonious³⁶ accord. Ah! But CHACUN E SON GOUT.

　　"I have registered a vow³⁷ to mount the steps of fame. I may crawl, Imay slip, I may even falter³⁸ (we are all weak), but REACH THE TOPRUNG OF THE LADDER I WILL!!! When there, my voice shall beheard, for I will shout to the multitudes below: 'VICI!' For the present Iam only an amateur, and my work is unknown, forsooth, save to a party offriends, with here and there an enemy.

　　"But, Mr. Pooter, let me ask you, 'What is the difference between theamateur and the professional?'

　　"None!!!

　　"Stay! Yes, there is a difference. One is PAID for doing what theother does as skilfully³⁹ for NOTHING!

　　"But I will be PAID, too! For I, contrary to the wishes of my familyand friends, have at last elected to adopt the stage as MY profession.

　　And when the FARCE⁴⁰ craze is over - and, MARK YOU, THAT WILL BESOON - I will make my power known; for I feel - pardon my apparentconceit - that there is no living man who can play the hump-backedRichard as I FEEL and KNOW I can.

　　"And YOU will be the first to come round and bend your head insubmission. There are many matters you may understand, but knowledgeof the fine art of acting⁴¹ is to you an UNKNOWN QUANTITY.

　　"Pray let this discussion cease with this letter. VALE!

　　Yours truly,"Burwin-Fosselton."I was disgusted. When Lupin came in, I handed him this impertinent letter, and said: "My boy, in that letter you can see the truecharacter of your friend."Lupin, to my surprise, said: "Oh yes. He showed me the letterbefore he sent it. I think he is right, and you ought to apologise."

1 theatrical   

adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的

参考例句：

• The final scene was dismayingly lacking in theatrical effect.最后一场缺乏戏剧效果，叫人失望。
• She always makes some theatrical gesture.她老在做些夸张的手势。

2 comedians   

n.喜剧演员，丑角( comedian的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The voice was rich, lordly, Harvardish, like all the boring radio comedians'imitations. 声音浑厚、威严，俨然是哈佛出身的气派，就跟无线电里所有的滑稽演员叫人已经听腻的模仿完全一样。 来自辞典例句
• He distracted them by joking and imitating movie and radio comedians. 他用开玩笑的方法或者模仿电影及广播中的滑稽演员来对付他们。 来自辞典例句

3 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

4 celebrated   

adj.有名的，声誉卓著的

参考例句：

• He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
• The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。

5 scraps   

油渣

参考例句：

• Don't litter up the floor with scraps of paper. 不要在地板上乱扔纸屑。
• A patchwork quilt is a good way of using up scraps of material. 做杂拼花布棉被是利用零碎布料的好办法。

6 quotations   

n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价

参考例句：

• The insurance company requires three quotations for repairs to the car. 保险公司要修理这辆汽车的三家修理厂的报价单。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• These quotations cannot readily be traced to their sources. 这些引语很难查出出自何处。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

7 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

8 swell   

vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强

参考例句：

• The waves had taken on a deep swell.海浪汹涌。
• His injured wrist began to swell.他那受伤的手腕开始肿了。

9 retired   

adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的

参考例句：

• The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
• Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。

10 astounded   

v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶

参考例句：

• His arrogance astounded her. 他的傲慢使她震惊。
• How can you say that? I'm absolutely astounded. 你怎么能说出那种话？我感到大为震惊。

11 puffing   

v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧

参考例句：

• He was puffing hard when he jumped on to the bus. 他跳上公共汽车时喘息不已。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• My father sat puffing contentedly on his pipe. 父亲坐着心满意足地抽着烟斗。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 boisterous   

adj.喧闹的，欢闹的

参考例句：

• I don't condescend to boisterous displays of it.我并不屈就于它热热闹闹的外表。
• The children tended to gather together quietly for a while before they broke into boisterous play.孩子们经常是先静静地聚集在一起，不一会就开始吵吵嚷嚷戏耍开了。

13 poked   

v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 )；戳出；拨弄；与（某人）性交

参考例句：

• She poked him in the ribs with her elbow. 她用胳膊肘顶他的肋部。
• His elbow poked out through his torn shirt sleeve. 他的胳膊从衬衫的破袖子中露了出来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 gust   

n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发

参考例句：

• A gust of wind blew the front door shut.一阵大风吹来，把前门关上了。
• A gust of happiness swept through her.一股幸福的暖流流遍她的全身。

15 exasperated   

adj.恼怒的

参考例句：

• We were exasperated at his ill behaviour. 我们对他的恶劣行为感到非常恼怒。
• Constant interruption of his work exasperated him. 对他工作不断的干扰使他恼怒。

16 consolation   

n.安慰，慰问

参考例句：

• The children were a great consolation to me at that time.那时孩子们成了我的莫大安慰。
• This news was of little consolation to us.这个消息对我们来说没有什么安慰。

17 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

18 mar   

vt.破坏，毁坏，弄糟

参考例句：

• It was not the custom for elderly people to mar the picnics with their presence.大人们照例不参加这样的野餐以免扫兴。
• Such a marriage might mar your career.这样的婚姻说不定会毁了你的一生。

19 pointedly   

adv.尖地，明显地

参考例句：

• She yawned and looked pointedly at her watch. 她打了个哈欠，又刻意地看了看手表。
• The demand for an apology was pointedly refused. 让对方道歉的要求遭到了断然拒绝。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 positively   

adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实

参考例句：

• She was positively glowing with happiness.她满脸幸福。
• The weather was positively poisonous.这天气着实讨厌。

21 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

22 breach   

n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破

参考例句：

• We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
• He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。

23 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

24 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

25 testily   

adv. 易怒地, 暴躁地

参考例句：

• He reacted testily to reports that he'd opposed military involvement. 有报道称他反对军队参与，对此他很是恼火。 来自柯林斯例句

26 giggled   

v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The girls giggled at the joke. 女孩子们让这笑话逗得咯咯笑。
• The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

27 retailing   

n.零售业v.零售(retail的现在分词)

参考例句：

• career opportunities in retailing 零售业的职业机会
• He is fond of retailing the news. 他喜欢传播消息。 来自《简明英汉词典》

28 idiotic   

adj.白痴的

参考例句：

• It is idiotic to go shopping with no money.去买东西而不带钱是很蠢的。
• The child's idiotic deeds caused his family much trouble.那小孩愚蠢的行为给家庭带来许多麻烦。

29 influential   

adj.有影响的，有权势的

参考例句：

• He always tries to get in with the most influential people.他总是试图巴结最有影响的人物。
• He is a very influential man in the government.他在政府中是个很有影响的人物。

30 smothered   

（使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制

参考例句：

• He smothered the baby with a pillow. 他用枕头把婴儿闷死了。
• The fire is smothered by ashes. 火被灰闷熄了。

31 humble   

adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低

参考例句：

• In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见，他将在选举中获胜。
• Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。

32 physically   

adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律

参考例句：

• He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
• Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

33 grooves   

n.沟( groove的名词复数 )；槽；老一套；（某种）音乐节奏v.沟( groove的第三人称单数 )；槽；老一套；（某种）音乐节奏

参考例句：

• Wheels leave grooves in a dirt road. 车轮在泥路上留下了凹痕。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Sliding doors move in grooves. 滑动门在槽沟中移动。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

34 devoted   

adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的

参考例句：

• He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
• We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。

35 seethe   

vi.拥挤，云集；发怒，激动，骚动

参考例句：

• Many Indians continue to seethe and some are calling for military action against their riotous neighbour.很多印度人都处于热血沸腾的状态，很多都呼吁针对印度这个恶邻采取军事行动。
• She seethed with indignation.她由于愤怒而不能平静。

36 harmonious   

adj.和睦的，调和的，和谐的，协调的

参考例句：

• Their harmonious relationship resulted in part from their similar goals.他们关系融洽的部分原因是他们有着相似的目标。
• The room was painted in harmonious colors.房间油漆得色彩调和。

37 vow   

n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓

参考例句：

• My parents are under a vow to go to church every Sunday.我父母许愿，每星期日都去做礼拜。
• I am under a vow to drink no wine.我已立誓戒酒。

38 falter   

vi.(嗓音)颤抖，结巴地说；犹豫；蹒跚

参考例句：

• His voice began to falter.他的声音开始发颤。
• As he neared the house his steps faltered.当他走近房子时，脚步迟疑了起来。

39 skilfully   

adv. (美skillfully)熟练地

参考例句：

• Hall skilfully weaves the historical research into a gripping narrative. 霍尔巧妙地把历史研究揉进了扣人心弦的故事叙述。
• Enthusiasm alone won't do. You've got to work skilfully. 不能光靠傻劲儿，得找窍门。

40 farce   

n.闹剧，笑剧，滑稽戏；胡闹

参考例句：

• They played a shameful role in this farce.他们在这场闹剧中扮演了可耻的角色。
• The audience roared at the farce.闹剧使观众哄堂大笑。

41 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。