CONTAINING SOME PARTICULARS RELATIVETO THE DOUBLE KNOCK, AND OTHERMATTERS: AMONG WHICH CERTAININTERESTING DISCLOSURES RELATIVE TOMr. SNODGRASS AND A YOUNG LADY ARE BYNO MEANS IRRELEVANT1 TO THIS HISTORYhe object that presented itself to the eyes of theastonished clerk, was a boy―a wonderfully fat boy―habited as a serving lad, standing2 upright on the mat,with his eyes closed as if in sleep. He had never seen such a fatboy, in or out of a travelling caravan3; and this, coupled with thecalmness and repose4 of his appearance, so very different fromwhat was reasonably to have been expected of the inflicter5 of suchknocks, smote6 him with wonder.
‘What’s the matter?’ inquired the clerk.
The extraordinary boy replied not a word; but he nodded once,and seemed, to the clerk’s imagination, to snore feebly.
‘Where do you come from?’ inquired the clerk.
The boy made no sign. He breathed heavily, but in all otherrespects was motionless.
The clerk repeated the question thrice, and receiving noanswer, prepared to shut the door, when the boy suddenly openedhis eyes, winked8 several times, sneezed once, and raised his handas if to repeat the knocking. Finding the door open, he staredabout him with astonishment9, and at length fixed10 his eyes on Mr.
Lowten’s face.
‘What the devil do you knock in that way for?’ inquired theclerk angrily.
‘Which way?’ said the boy, in a slow and sleepy voice.
‘Why, like forty hackney-coachmen,’ replied the clerk.
‘Because master said, I wasn’t to leave off knocking till theyopened the door, for fear I should go to sleep,’ said the boy.
‘Well,’ said the clerk, ‘what message have you brought?’
‘He’s downstairs,’ rejoined the boy.
‘Who?’
‘Master. He wants to know whether you’re at home.’
Mr. Lowten bethought himself, at this juncture11, of looking outof the window. Seeing an open carriage with a hearty12 oldgentleman in it, looking up very anxiously, he ventured to beckonhim; on which, the old gentleman jumped out directly.
‘That’s your master in the carriage, I suppose?’ said Lowten.
The boy nodded.
All further inquiries13 were superseded14 by the appearance of oldWardle, who, running upstairs and just recognising Lowten,passed at once into Mr. Perker’s room.
‘Pickwick!’ said the old gentleman. ‘Your hand, my boy! Whyhave I never heard until the day before yesterday of your sufferingyourself to be cooped up in jail? And why did you let him do it,Perker?’
‘I couldn’t help it, my dear sir,’ replied Perker, with a smile anda pinch of snuff; ‘you know how obstinate15 he is?’
‘Of course I do; of course I do,’ replied the old gentleman. ‘I amheartily glad to see him, notwithstanding. I will not lose sight ofhim again, in a hurry.’
With these words, Wardle shook Mr. Pickwick’s hand oncemore, and, having done the same by Perker, threw himself into anarm-chair, his jolly red face shining again with smiles and health.
‘Well!’ said Wardle. ‘Here are pretty goings on―a pinch of yoursnuff, Perker, my boy―never were such times, eh?’
‘What do you mean?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘Mean!’ replied Wardle. ‘Why, I think the girls are all runningmad; that’s no news, you’ll say? Perhaps it’s not; but it’s true, forall that.’
‘You have not come up to London, of all places in the world, totell us that, my dear sir, have you?’ inquired Perker.
‘No, not altogether,’ replied Wardle; ‘though it was the maincause of my coming. How’s Arabella?’
‘Very well,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, ‘and will be delighted to seeyou, I am sure.’
‘Black-eyed little jilt!’ replied Wardle. ‘I had a great idea ofmarrying her myself, one of these odd days. But I am glad of it too,very glad.’
‘How did the intelligence reach you?’ asked Mr. Pickwick.
‘Oh, it came to my girls, of course,’ replied Wardle. ‘Arabellawrote, the day before yesterday, to say she had made a stolenmatch without her husband’s father’s consent, and so you hadgone down to get it when his refusing it couldn’t prevent thematch, and all the rest of it. I thought it a very good time to saysomething serious to my girls; so I said what a dreadful thing itwas that children should marry without their parents’ consent,and so forth16; but, bless your hearts, I couldn’t make the leastimpression upon them. They thought it such a much moredreadful thing that there should have been a wedding withoutbridesmaids, that I might as well have preached to Joe himself.’
Here the old gentleman stopped to laugh; and having done so tohis heart’s content, presently resumed―‘But this is not the best of it, it seems. This is only half the love-making and plotting that have been going forward. We have beenwalking on mines for the last six months, and they’re sprung atlast.’
‘What do you mean?’ exclaimed Mr. Pickwick, turning pale; ‘noother secret marriage, I hope?’
‘No, no,’ replied old Wardle; ‘not so bad as that; no.’
‘What then?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick; ‘am I interested in it?’
‘Shall I answer that question, Perker?’ said Wardle.
‘If you don’t commit yourself by doing so, my dear sir.’
‘Well then, you are,’ said Wardle.
‘How?’ asked Mr. Pickwick anxiously. ‘In what way?’
‘Really,’ replied Wardle, ‘you’re such a fiery17 sort of a youngfellow that I am almost afraid to tell you; but, however, if Perkerwill sit between us to prevent mischief18, I’ll venture.’
Having closed the room door, and fortified19 himself with anotherapplication to Perker’s snuff-box, the old gentleman proceededwith his great disclosure in these words―‘The fact is, that my daughter Bella―Bella, who married youngTrundle, you know.’
‘Yes, yes, we know,’ said Mr. Pickwick impatiently.
‘Don’t alarm me at the very beginning. My daughter Bella―Emily having gone to bed with a headache after she had readArabella’s letter to me―sat herself down by my side the otherevening, and began to talk over this marriage affair. “Well, pa,”
she says, “what do you think of it?” “Why, my dear,” I said, “Isuppose it’s all very well; I hope it’s for the best.” I answered inthis way because I was sitting before the fire at the time, drinkingmy grog rather thoughtfully, and I knew my throwing in anundecided word now and then, would induce her to continuetalking. Both my girls are pictures of their dear mother, and as Igrow old I like to sit with only them by me; for their voices andlooks carry me back to the happiest period of my life, and makeme, for the moment, as young as I used to be then, though notquite so light-hearted. “It’s quite a marriage of affection, pa,” saidBella, after a short silence. “Yes, my dear,” said I, “but suchmarriages do not always turn out the happiest.”’
‘I question that, mind!’ interposed Mr. Pickwick warmly. ‘Verygood,’ responded Wardle, ‘question anything you like when it’syour turn to speak, but don’t interrupt me.’
‘I beg your pardon,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Granted,’ replied Wardle. ‘“I am sorry to hear you express youropinion against marriages of affection, pa,” said Bella, colouring alittle. “I was wrong; I ought not to have said so, my dear, either,”
said I, patting her cheek as kindly20 as a rough old fellow like mecould pat it, “for your mother’s was one, and so was yours.” “It’snot that I meant, pa,” said Bella. “The fact is, pa, I wanted to speakto you about Emily.”’
Mr. Pickwick started.
‘What’s the matter now?’ inquired Wardle, stopping in hisnarrative.
‘Nothing,’ replied Mr. Pickwick. ‘Pray go on.’
‘I never could spin out a story,’ said Wardle abruptly21. ‘It mustcome out, sooner or later, and it’ll save us all a great deal of time ifit comes at once. The long and the short of it is, then, that Bella atlast mustered22 up courage to tell me that Emily was very unhappy;that she and your young friend Snodgrass had been in constantcorrespondence and communication ever since last Christmas;that she had very dutifully made up her mind to run away withhim, in laudable imitation of her old friend and school-fellow; butthat having some compunctions of conscience on the subject,inasmuch as I had always been rather kindly disposed to both ofthem, they had thought it better in the first instance to pay me thecompliment of asking whether I would have any objection to theirbeing married in the usual matter-of-fact manner. There now, Mr.
Pickwick, if you can make it convenient to reduce your eyes totheir usual size again, and to let me hear what you think we oughtto do, I shall feel rather obliged to you!’
The testy23 manner in which the hearty old gentleman utteredthis last sentence was not wholly unwarranted; for Mr. Pickwick’sface had settled down into an expression of blank amazement24 andperplexity, quite curious to behold25.
‘Snodgrass!―since last Christmas!’ were the first broken wordsthat issued from the lips of the confounded gentleman.
‘Since last Christmas,’ replied Wardle; ‘that’s plain enough, andvery bad spectacles we must have worn, not to have discovered itbefore.’
‘I don’t understand it,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ruminating26; ‘I cannotreally understand it.’
‘It’s easy enough to understand it,’ replied the choleric27 oldgentleman. ‘If you had been a younger man, you would have beenin the secret long ago; and besides,’ added Wardle, after amoment’s hesitation28, ‘the truth is, that, knowing nothing of thismatter, I have rather pressed Emily for four or five months past, toreceive favourably29 (if she could; I would never attempt to force agirl’s inclinations) the addresses of a young gentleman down inour neighbourhood. I have no doubt that, girl-like, to enhance herown value and increase the ardour of Mr. Snodgrass, she hasrepresented this matter in very glowing colours, and that theyhave both arrived at the conclusion that they are a terribly-persecuted pair of unfortunates, and have no resource butclandestine matrimony, or charcoal30. Now the question is, what’s tobe done?’
‘What have you done?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘I!’
‘I mean what did you do when your married daughter told youthis?’
‘Oh, I made a fool of myself of course,’ rejoined Wardle.
‘Just so,’ interposed Perker, who had accompanied thisdialogue with sundry31 twitchings of his watch-chain, vindictiverubbings of his nose, and other symptoms of impatience32. ‘That’svery natural; but how?’
‘I went into a great passion and frightened my mother into a fit,’
said Wardle.
‘That was judicious,’ remarked Perker; ‘and what else?’
‘I fretted33 and fumed34 all next day, and raised a greatdisturbance,’ rejoined the old gentleman. ‘At last I got tired ofrendering myself unpleasant and making everybody miserable35; soI hired a carriage at Muggleton, and, putting my own horses in it,came up to town, under pretence36 of bringing Emily to seeArabella.’
‘Miss Wardle is with you, then?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘To be sure she is,’ replied Wardle. ‘She is at Osborne’s Hotel inthe Adelphi at this moment, unless your enterprising friend hasrun away with her since I came out this morning.’
‘You are reconciled then?’ said Perker.
‘Not a bit of it,’ answered Wardle; ‘she has been crying andmoping ever since, except last night, between tea and supper,when she made a great parade of writing a letter that I pretendedto take no notice of.’
‘You want my advice in this matter, I suppose?’ said Perker,looking from the musing37 face of Mr. Pickwick to the eagercountenance of Wardle, and taking several consecutive39 pinches ofhis favourite stimulant40.
‘I suppose so,’ said Wardle, looking at Mr. Pickwick.
‘Certainly,’ replied that gentleman.
‘Well then,’ said Perker, rising and pushing his chair back, ‘myadvice is, that you both walk away together, or ride away, or getaway by some means or other, for I’m tired of you, and just talkthis matter over between you. If you have not settled it by the nexttime I see you, I’ll tell you what to do.’
‘This is satisfactory,’ said Wardle, hardly knowing whether tosmile or be offended.
‘Pooh, pooh, my dear sir,’ returned Perker. ‘I know you both agreat deal better than you know yourselves. You have settled italready, to all intents and purposes.’
Thus expressing himself, the little gentleman poked41 his snuff-box first into the chest of Mr. Pickwick, and then into thewaistcoat of Mr. Wardle, upon which they all three laughed,especially the two last-named gentlemen, who at once shookhands again, without any obvious or particular reason.
‘You dine with me to-day,’ said Wardle to Perker, as he showedthem out.
‘Can’t promise, my dear sir, can’t promise,’ replied Perker. ‘I’lllook in, in the evening, at all events.’
‘I shall expect you at five,’ said Wardle. ‘Now, Joe!’ And Joehaving been at length awakened42, the two friends departed in Mr.
Wardle’s carriage, which in common humanity had a dickeybehind for the fat boy, who, if there had been a footboard instead,would have rolled off and killed himself in his very first nap.
Driving to the George and Vulture, they found that Arabellaand her maid had sent for a hackney-coach immediately on thereceipt of a short note from Emily announcing her arrival in town,and had proceeded straight to the Adelphi. As Wardle hadbusiness to transact43 in the city, they sent the carriage and the fatboy to his hotel, with the information that he and Mr. Pickwickwould return together to dinner at five o’clock.
Charged with this message, the fat boy returned, slumbering44 aspeaceably in his dickey, over the stones, as if it had been a downbed on watch springs. By some extraordinary miracle he awoke ofhis own accord, when the coach stopped, and giving himself agood shake to stir up his faculties45, went upstairs to execute hiscommission.
Now, whether the shake had jumbled46 the fat boy’s facultiestogether, instead of arranging them in proper order, or had rousedsuch a quantity of new ideas within him as to render him obliviousof ordinary forms and ceremonies, or (which is also possible) hadproved unsuccessful in preventing his falling asleep as heascended the stairs, it is an undoubted fact that he walked into thesitting-room without previously48 knocking at the door; and sobeheld a gentleman with his arms clasping his young mistress’swaist, sitting very lovingly by her side on a sofa, while Arabellaand her pretty handmaid feigned49 to be absorbed in looking out ofa window at the other end of the room. At the sight of thisphenomenon, the fat boy uttered an interjection, the ladies ascream, and the gentleman an oath, almost simultaneously50.
‘Wretched creature, what do you want here?’ said thegentleman, who it is needless to say was Mr. Snodgrass.
To this the fat boy, considerably51 terrified, briefly52 responded,‘Missis.’
‘What do you want me for,’ inquired Emily, turning her headaside, ‘you stupid creature?’
‘Master and Mr. Pickwick is a-going to dine here at five,’ repliedthe fat boy.
‘Leave the room!’ said Mr. Snodgrass, glaring upon thebewildered youth.
‘No, no, no,’ added Emily hastily. ‘Bella, dear, advise me.’
Upon this, Emily and Mr. Snodgrass, and Arabella and Mary,crowded into a corner, and conversed53 earnestly in whispers forsome minutes, during which the fat boy dozed54.
‘Joe,’ said Arabella, at length, looking round with a mostbewitching smile, ‘how do you do, Joe?’
‘Joe,’ said Emily, ‘you’re a very good boy; I won’t forget you,Joe.’
‘Joe,’ said Mr. Snodgrass, advancing to the astonished youth,and seizing his hand, ‘I didn’t know you before. There’s fiveshillings for you, Joe!”
‘I’ll owe you five, Joe,’ said Arabella, ‘for old acquaintance sake,you know;’ and another most captivating smile was bestowed55 uponthe corpulent intruder.
The fat boy’s perception being slow, he looked rather puzzled atfirst to account for this sudden prepossession in his favour, andstared about him in a very alarming manner. At length his broadface began to show symptoms of a grin of proportionately broaddimensions; and then, thrusting half-a-crown into each of hispockets, and a hand and wrist after it, he burst into a horse laugh:
being for the first and only time in his existence.
‘He understands us, I see,’ said Arabella. ‘He had better havesomething to eat, immediately,’ remarked Emily.
The fat boy almost laughed again when he heard thissuggestion. Mary, after a little more whispering, tripped forth fromthe group and said―‘I am going to dine with you to-day, sir, if you have noobjection.’
‘This way,’ said the fat boy eagerly. ‘There is such a jolly meat-pie!’
With these words, the fat boy led the way downstairs; his prettycompanion captivating all the waiters and angering all thechambermaids as she followed him to the eating-room.
There was the meat-pie of which the youth had spoken sofeelingly, and there were, moreover, a steak, and a dish ofpotatoes, and a pot of porter.
‘Sit down,’ said the fat boy. ‘Oh, my eye, how prime! I am sohungry.’
Having apostrophised his eye, in a species of rapture56, five or sixtimes, the youth took the head of the little table, and Mary seatedherself at the bottom.
‘Will you have some of this?’ said the fat boy, plunging57 into thepie up to the very ferules of the knife and fork.
‘A little, if you please,’ replied Mary.
The fat boy assisted Mary to a little, and himself to a great deal,and was just going to begin eating when he suddenly laid down hisknife and fork, leaned forward in his chair, and letting his hands,with the knife and fork in them, fall on his knees, said, veryslowly―‘I say! How nice you look!’
This was said in an admiring manner, and was, so far,gratifying; but still there was enough of the cannibal in the younggentleman’s eyes to render the compliment a double one.
‘Dear me, Joseph,’ said Mary, affecting to blush, ‘what do youmean?’
The fat boy, gradually recovering his former position, repliedwith a heavy sigh, and, remaining thoughtful for a few moments,drank a long draught58 of the porter. Having achieved this feat59, hesighed again, and applied60 himself assiduously to the pie.
‘What a nice young lady Miss Emily is!’ said Mary, after a longsilence.
The fat boy had by this time finished the pie. He fixed his eyeson Mary, and replied―‘I knows a nicerer.’
‘Indeed!’ said Mary.
‘Yes, indeed!’ replied the fat boy, with unwonted vivacity61.
‘What’s her name?’ inquired Mary.
‘What’s yours?’
‘Mary.’
‘So’s hers,’ said the fat boy. ‘You’re her.’ The boy grinned to addpoint to the compliment, and put his eyes into something betweena squint62 and a cast, which there is reason to believe he intendedfor an ogle63.
‘You mustn’t talk to me in that way,’ said Mary; ‘you don’t meanit.’
‘Don’t I, though?’ replied the fat boy. ‘I say?’
‘Well?’
‘Are you going to come here regular?’
‘No,’ rejoined Mary, shaking her head, ‘I’m going away again to-night. Why?’
‘Oh,’ said the fat boy, in a tone of strong feeling; ‘how we shouldhave enjoyed ourselves at meals, if you had been!’
‘I might come here sometimes, perhaps, to see you,’ said Mary,plaiting the table-cloth in assumed coyness, ‘if you would do me afavour.’
The fat boy looked from the pie-dish to the steak, as if hethought a favour must be in a manner connected with somethingto eat; and then took out one of the half-crowns and glanced at itnervously.
‘Don’t you understand me?’ said Mary, looking slyly in his fatface.
Again he looked at the half-crown, and said faintly, ‘No.’
‘The ladies want you not to say anything to the old gentlemanabout the young gentleman having been upstairs; and I want youtoo.’
‘Is that all?’ said the fat boy, evidently very much relieved, as hepocketed the half-crown again. ‘Of course I ain’t a-going to.’
‘You see,’ said Mary, ‘Mr. Snodgrass is very fond of Miss Emily,and Miss Emily’s very fond of him, and if you were to tell about it,the old gentleman would carry you all away miles into the country,where you’d see nobody.’
‘No, no, I won’t tell,’ said the fat boy stoutly65.
‘That’s a dear,’ said Mary. ‘Now it’s time I went upstairs, andgot my lady ready for dinner.’
‘Don’t go yet,’ urged the fat boy.
‘I must,’ replied Mary. ‘Good-bye, for the present.’
The fat boy, with elephantine playfulness, stretched out hisarms to ravish a kiss; but as it required no great agility66 to eludehim, his fair enslaver had vanished before he closed them again;upon which the apathetic67 youth ate a pound or so of steak with asentimental countenance38, and fell fast asleep.
There was so much to say upstairs, and there were so manyplans to concert for elopement and matrimony in the event of oldWardle continuing to be cruel, that it wanted only half an hour ofdinner when Mr. Snodgrass took his final adieu. The ladies ran toEmily’s bedroom to dress, and the lover, taking up his hat, walkedout of the room. He had scarcely got outside the door, when heheard Wardle’s voice talking loudly, and looking over the banistersbeheld him, followed by some other gentlemen, coming straightupstairs. Knowing nothing of the house, Mr. Snodgrass in hisconfusion stepped hastily back into the room he had just quitted,and passing thence into an inner apartment (Mr. Wardle’sbedchamber), closed the door softly, just as the persons he hadcaught a glimpse of entered the sitting-room47. These were Mr.
Wardle, Mr. Pickwick, Mr. Nathaniel Winkle, and Mr. BenjaminAllen, whom he had no difficulty in recognising by their voices.
‘Very lucky I had the presence of mind to avoid them,’ thoughtMr. Snodgrass with a smile, and walking on tiptoe to another doornear the bedside; ‘this opens into the same passage, and I can walkquietly and comfortably away.’
There was only one obstacle to his walking quietly andcomfortably away, which was that the door was locked and the keygone.
‘Let us have some of your best wine to-day, waiter,’ said oldWardle, rubbing his hands.
‘You shall have some of the very best, sir,’ replied the waiter.
‘Let the ladies know we have come in.’
‘Yes, sir.’
Devoutly and ardently68 did Mr. Snodgrass wish that the ladiescould know he had come in. He ventured once to whisper,‘Waiter!’ through the keyhole, but the probability of the wrongwaiter coming to his relief, flashed upon his mind, together with asense of the strong resemblance between his own situation andthat in which another gentleman had been recently found in aneighbouring hotel (an account of whose misfortunes hadappeared under the head of ‘Police’ in that morning’s paper), hesat himself on a portmanteau, and trembled violently.
‘We won’t wait a minute for Perker,’ said Wardle, looking at hiswatch; ‘he is always exact. He will be here, in time, if he means tocome; and if he does not, it’s of no use waiting. Ha! Arabella!’
‘My sister!’ exclaimed Mr. Benjamin Allen, folding her in a mostromantic embrace.
‘Oh, Ben, dear, how you do smell of tobacco,’ said Arabella,rather overcome by this mark of affection.
‘Do I?’ said Mr. Benjamin Allen. ‘Do I, Bella? Well, perhaps Ido.’
Perhaps he did, having just left a pleasant little smoking-partyof twelve medical students, in a small back parlour with a largefire.
‘But I am delighted to see you,’ said Mr. Ben Allen. ‘Bless you,Bella!’
‘There,’ said Arabella, bending forward to kiss her brother;‘don’t take hold of me again, Ben, dear, because you tumble meso.’
At this point of the reconciliation69, Mr. Ben Allen allowed hisfeelings and the cigars and porter to overcome him, and lookedround upon the beholders with damp spectacles.
‘Is nothing to be said to me?’ cried Wardle, with open arms.
‘A great deal,’ whispered Arabella, as she received the oldgentleman’s hearty caress70 and congratulation. ‘You are a hard-hearted, unfeeling, cruel monster.’
‘You are a little rebel,’ replied Wardle, in the same tone, ‘and Iam afraid I shall be obliged to forbid you the house. People likeyou, who get married in spite of everybody, ought not to be letloose on society. But come!’ added the old gentleman aloud,‘here’s the dinner; you shall sit by me. Joe; why, damn the boy,he’s awake!’
To the great distress71 of his master, the fat boy was indeed in astate of remarkable72 vigilance, his eyes being wide open, andlooking as if they intended to remain so. There was an alacrity73 inhis manner, too, which was equally unaccountable; every time hiseyes met those of Emily or Arabella, he smirked74 and grinned;once, Wardle could have sworn, he saw him wink7.
This alteration75 in the fat boy’s demeanour originated in hisincreased sense of his own importance, and the dignity heacquired from having been taken into the confidence of the youngladies; and the smirks77, and grins, and winks78 were so manycondescending assurances that they might depend upon hisfidelity. As these tokens were rather calculated to awakensuspicion than allay79 it, and were somewhat embarrassing besides,they were occasionally answered by a frown or shake of the headfrom Arabella, which the fat boy, considering as hints to be on hisguard, expressed his perfect understanding of, by smirking,grinning, and winking80, with redoubled assiduity.
‘Joe,’ said Mr. Wardle, after an unsuccessful search in all hispockets, ‘is my snuff-box on the sofa?’
‘No, sir,’ replied the fat boy.
‘Oh, I recollect81; I left it on my dressing82-table this morning,’ saidWardle. ‘Run into the next room and fetch it.’
The fat boy went into the next room; and, having been absentabout a minute, returned with the snuff-box, and the palest facethat ever a fat boy wore.
‘What’s the matter with the boy?’ exclaimed Wardle.
‘Nothen’s the matter with me,’ replied Joe nervously64.
‘Have you been seeing any spirits?’ inquired the old gentleman.
‘Or taking any?’ added Ben Allen.
‘I think you’re right,’ whispered Wardle across the table. ‘He isintoxicated, I’m sure.’
Ben Allen replied that he thought he was; and, as thatgentleman had seen a vast deal of the disease in question, Wardlewas confirmed in an impression which had been hovering83 abouthis mind for half an hour, and at once arrived at the conclusionthat the fat boy was drunk.
‘Just keep your eye upon him for a few minutes,’ murmuredWardle. ‘We shall soon find out whether he is or not.’
The unfortunate youth had only interchanged a dozen wordswith Mr. Snodgrass, that gentleman having implored84 him to makea private appeal to some friend to release him, and then pushedhim out with the snuff-box, lest his prolonged absence should leadto a discovery. He ruminated85 a little with a most disturbedexpression of face, and left the room in search of Mary.
But Mary had gone home after dressing her mistress, and thefat boy came back again more disturbed than before.
Wardle and Mr. Ben Allen exchanged glances. ‘Joe!’ saidWardle.
‘Yes, sir.’
‘What did you go away for?’
The fat boy looked hopelessly in the face of everybody at table,and stammered86 out that he didn’t know.
‘Oh,’ said Wardle, ‘you don’t know, eh? Take this cheese to Mr.
Pickwick.’
Now, Mr. Pickwick being in the very best health and spirits,had been making himself perfectly87 delightful88 all dinner-time, andwas at this moment engaged in an energetic conversation withEmily and Mr. Winkle; bowing his head, courteously89, in theemphasis of his discourse90, gently waving his left hand to lend forceto his observations, and all glowing with placid91 smiles. He took apiece of cheese from the plate, and was on the point of turninground to renew the conversation, when the fat boy, stooping so asto bring his head on a level with that of Mr. Pickwick, pointed92 withhis thumb over his shoulder, and made the most horrible andhideous face that was ever seen out of a Christmas pantomime.
‘Dear me!’ said Mr. Pickwick, starting, ‘what a very―Eh?’ Hestopped, for the fat boy had drawn93 himself up, and was, orpretended to be, fast asleep.
‘What’s the matter?’ inquired Wardle.
‘This is such an extremely singular lad!’ replied Mr. Pickwick,looking uneasily at the boy. ‘It seems an odd thing to say, but uponmy word I am afraid that, at times, he is a little deranged94.’
‘Oh! Mr. Pickwick, pray don’t say so,’ cried Emily and Arabella,both at once.
‘I am not certain, of course,’ said Mr. Pickwick, amidst profoundsilence and looks of general dismay; ‘but his manner to me thismoment really was very alarming. Oh!’ ejaculated Mr. Pickwick,suddenly jumping up with a short scream. ‘I beg your pardon,ladies, but at that moment he ran some sharp instrument into myleg. Really, he is not safe.’
‘He’s drunk,’ roared old Wardle passionately95. ‘Ring the bell!
Call the waiters! He’s drunk.’
‘I ain’t,’ said the fat boy, falling on his knees as his masterseized him by the collar. ‘I ain’t drunk.’
‘Then you’re mad; that’s worse. Call the waiters,’ said the oldgentleman.
‘I ain’t mad; I’m sensible,’ rejoined the fat boy, beginning to cry.
‘Then, what the devil did you run sharp instruments into Mr.
Pickwick’s legs for?’ inquired Wardle angrily.
‘He wouldn’t look at me,’ replied the boy. ‘I wanted to speak tohim.’
‘What did you want to say?’ asked half a dozen voices at once.
The fat boy gasped96, looked at the bedroom door, gasped again,and wiped two tears away with the knuckle97 of each of hisforefingers.
‘What did you want to say?’ demanded Wardle, shaking him.
‘Stop!’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘allow me. What did you wish tocommunicate to me, my poor boy?’
‘I want to whisper to you,’ replied the fat boy.
‘You want to bite his ear off, I suppose,’ said Wardle. ‘Don’tcome near him; he’s vicious; ring the bell, and let him be takendownstairs.’
Just as Mr. Winkle caught the bell-rope in his hand, it wasarrested by a general expression of astonishment; the captivelover, his face burning with confusion, suddenly walked in fromthe bedroom, and made a comprehensive bow to the company.
‘Hollo!’ cried Wardle, releasing the fat boy’s collar, andstaggering back. ‘What’s this?’
‘I have been concealed98 in the next room, sir, since youreturned,’ explained Mr. Snodgrass.
‘Emily, my girl,’ said Wardle reproachfully, ‘I detest99 meannessand deceit; this is unjustifiable and indelicate in the highestdegree. I don’t deserve this at your hands, Emily, indeed!’
‘Dear papa,’ said Emily, ‘Arabella knows―everybody hereknows―Joe knows―that I was no party to this concealment100.
Augustus, for He aven’s sake, explain it!’
Mr. Snodgrass, who had only waited for a hearing, at oncerecounted how he had been placed in his then distressingpredicament; how the fear of giving rise to domestic dissensionshad alone prompted him to avoid Mr. Wardle on his entrance; howhe merely meant to depart by another door, but, finding it locked,had been compelled to stay against his will. It was a painfulsituation to be placed in; but he now regretted it the less,inasmuch as it afforded him an opportunity of acknowledging,before their mutual101 friends, that he loved Mr. Wardle’s daughterdeeply and sincerely; that he was proud to avow102 that the feelingwas mutual; and that if thousands of miles were placed betweenthem, or oceans rolled their waters, he could never for an instantforget those happy days, when first―et cetera, et cetera.
Having delivered himself to this effect, Mr. Snodgrass bowedagain, looked into the crown of his hat, and stepped towards thedoor.
‘Stop!’ shouted Wardle. ‘Why, in the name of all that’s―’
‘Inflammable,’ mildly suggested Mr. Pickwick, who thoughtsomething worse was coming.
‘Well―that’s inflammable,’ said Wardle, adopting thesubstitute; ‘couldn’t you say all this to me in the first instance?’
‘Or confide76 in me?’ added Mr. Pickwick.
‘Dear, dear,’ said Arabella, taking up the defence, ‘what is theuse of asking all that now, especially when you know you had setyour covetous103 old heart on a richer son-in-law, and are so wild andfierce besides, that everybody is afraid of you, except me? Shakehands with him, and order him some dinner, for goodnessgracious’ sake, for he looks half starved; and pray have your wineup at once, for you’ll not be tolerable until you have taken twobottles at least.’
The worthy104 old gentleman pulled Arabella’s ear, kissed herwithout the smallest scruple105, kissed his daughter also with greataffection, and shook Mr. Snodgrass warmly by the hand.
‘She is right on one point at all events,’ said the old gentlemancheerfully. ‘Ring for the wine!’
The wine came, and Perker came upstairs at the same moment.
Mr. Snodgrass had dinner at a side table, and, when he haddespatched it, drew his chair next Emily, without the smallestopposition on the old gentleman’s part.
The evening was excellent. Little Mr. Perker came outwonderfully, told various comic stories, and sang a serious songwhich was almost as funny as the anecdotes106. Arabella was verycharming, Mr. Wardle very jovial107, Mr. Pickwick very harmonious,Mr. Ben Allen very uproarious, the lovers very silent, Mr. Winklevery talkative, and all of them very happy.
收听单词发音 |
1
irrelevant
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| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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caravan
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| n.大蓬车；活动房屋 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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inflicter
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| 加害者，惩罚者 | |
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smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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superseded
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| [医]被代替的，废弃的 | |
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obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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fortified
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| adj. 加强的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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mustered
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| v.集合，召集，集结（尤指部队）( muster的过去式和过去分词 )；（自他人处）搜集某事物；聚集；激发 | |
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testy
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| adj.易怒的；暴躁的 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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ruminating
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| v.沉思( ruminate的现在分词 )；反复考虑；反刍；倒嚼 | |
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choleric
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| adj.易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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favourably
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| adv. 善意地，赞成地 =favorably | |
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charcoal
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| n.炭，木炭，生物炭 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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fumed
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| 愤怒( fume的过去式和过去分词 )； 大怒； 发怒； 冒烟 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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musing
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| n. 沉思，冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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38
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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consecutive
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| adj.连续的，联贯的，始终一贯的 | |
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40
stimulant
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| n.刺激物，兴奋剂 | |
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poked
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| v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 )；戳出；拨弄；与（某人）性交 | |
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42
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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transact
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| v.处理；做交易；谈判 | |
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slumbering
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| 微睡，睡眠（slumber的现在分词形式） | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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46
jumbled
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| adj.混乱的；杂乱的 | |
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47
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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48
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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49
feigned
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| a.假装的，不真诚的 | |
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50
simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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51
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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52
briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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53
conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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54
dozed
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| v.打盹儿，打瞌睡( doze的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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57
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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58
draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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59
feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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60
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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62
squint
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| v. 使变斜视眼, 斜视, 眯眼看, 偏移, 窥视; n. 斜视, 斜孔小窗; adj. 斜视的, 斜的 | |
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63
ogle
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| v.看；送秋波；n.秋波，媚眼 | |
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64
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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65
stoutly
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| adv.牢固地，粗壮的 | |
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66
agility
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| n.敏捷，活泼 | |
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apathetic
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| adj.冷漠的，无动于衷的 | |
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68
ardently
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| adv.热心地，热烈地 | |
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69
reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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74
smirked
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| v.傻笑( smirk的过去分词 ) | |
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75
alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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smirks
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| n.傻笑，得意的笑( smirk的名词复数 )v.傻笑( smirk的第三人称单数 ) | |
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78
winks
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| v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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allay
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| v.消除，减轻(恐惧、怀疑等) | |
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winking
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| n.瞬眼，目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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81
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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82
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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83
hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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84
implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85
ruminated
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| v.沉思( ruminate的过去式和过去分词 )；反复考虑；反刍；倒嚼 | |
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86
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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87
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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89
courteously
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| adv.有礼貌地，亲切地 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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deranged
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| adj.疯狂的 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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96
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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knuckle
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| n.指节；vi.开始努力工作；屈服，认输 | |
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98
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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99
detest
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| vt.痛恨，憎恶 | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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101
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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102
avow
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| v.承认，公开宣称 | |
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103
covetous
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| adj.贪婪的，贪心的 | |
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104
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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105
scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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106
anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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jovial
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| adj.快乐的，好交际的 | |
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