chapter 14

I WALKED reluctantly away from the house after I saw her light put out. I hated so to leave her that it was as if a chain and ball had been attached to my ankle. I had reached a point on Second avenue about half the distance home when I halted. I had begun to feel sick. Suddenly my ears had begun to ring, my head to swim. I clutched at a lamppost to keep from falling. The ringing in my ears became louder and louder—a roar like that of a strong wind. A deathly nausea¹ overcame me. I thought I was going to faint, perhaps to die. I held on to the lamp-post and tried to call out for help. I could not utter the slightest sound; my tongue clove² to the roof of my mouth as it does in nightmare. I seemed to be growing weaker with every breath. The noise in my ears was like an unbroken peal³ of thunder. My brain went spinning around and around as if it had been caught in a whirlpool. Then all at once my breath began to come in quick short gasps⁴ like the breath of a panting dog or like the breath of a person who has taken laughing-gas. I closed my eyes and for how long I know not clung to the lamp-post, waiting for this internal upheaval⁵ to reach its climax⁶. By degrees my breath returned to its normal state; the uproar⁷ in my ears subsided⁸; my brain got quiet again. I felt as well as ever, only a bit startled, a bit shaky in the legs. I thought, ‘You have had an attack of vertigo⁹, a half fainting-fit. Now you would best hurry home.’ But—but to my unmingled consternation¹⁰ my body refused to act in response to my will. I was puzzled. I tried again. Useless.

I had absolutely no control over my muscles. Experiment proved that I could not move a finger; experiment proved that I could not put forth¹¹ my foot and take a step. I was horrified¹². Ah, I thought, this is a stroke of paralysis¹³. For a second time I attempted to summon help. For a second time my tongue clove to the roof of my mouth.

But if all this horrified me, how much more horrified was I the moment after, when, in entire independence of my will, that body of mine which I had fancied paralyzed began to act of its own accord! began to march briskly off in a direction exactly opposite to that which I wished to follow! If I had been puzzled before, how much more hopelessly puzzled was I now! Experiment proved that I was as powerless to stop myself at present, as an instant since I had been to set myself in motion. I was appalled¹⁴. I knew not what this phenomenon was due to or what it might lead to. It seemed precisely¹⁵ as though the chords connecting my mind and body had been severed¹⁶, as though the will of another person had become the reigning¹⁷ occupant of my frame. A thousand frightful¹⁸ possibilities flashed upon my imagination. With this utter incompetency¹⁹ to govern my own movements, God knew what might happen. I might walk into the river; or I might—I might commit some irretrievable wrong. Helpless and irresponsible as I was, I might accomplish that which all the rest of my days I should repent²⁰.

Meanwhile I had moved on, until now I halted again. I looked around. I was in front of Veronika’s house. I crossed the street, picked my way through the people who were seated upon the stoop, mounted the staircase, and rang Veronika’s bell, wondering constantly what the cause and what the upshot of this adventure might be, and powerless to assert the least influence over my physical acts.

“Veronika’s voice sounded from behind the door, ‘Is that you, uncle?’

“‘No, it is I, my tongue replied of its own volition²¹.

“The door opened. I saw Veronika with the knob in her hand. She looked surprised. My impulse was to take her in my arms and explain to her the strange accident that had befallen me. I could not. I had no more control over my body than I had over hers.

“Veronika closed the door. She glanced up at my face. Her eyes filled with fear.

“‘Why, Ernest,’ she cried, ‘what is it? What is the matter? Why do you look like this?’

“I paused to collect my utmost strength, then tried to speak. Total failure. Tried to reassure²² her with my eyes. Total failure: eyes as uncontrollable as the rest of my person. But impelled²³ by that other will which had usurped²⁴ the place of mine, I approached her and asked, ‘What is your name?’ It was my voice, but it was not I, that asked the question.

“‘Oh, for the love of God,’ Veronika besought²⁵, ‘don’t act like this. Oh, my Ernest, what terrible joke are you playing? Don t make me think that you have gone mad.’

“‘What is your name?’ my voice repeated, stonily²⁶.

“‘My name? What can you mean? Oh God, what has come over my beloved?’

“Her face was pale, her eyes were full of anguish²⁷. And I—I was impotent to comfort her. My heart went out to her with a great bound of love; but I was in irons, chained down, compelled to witness, forbidden to interfere²⁸ with the action of this awful drama. For a third time my tongue repeated, ‘Your name—tell me your name.’

“‘My name?’ she gasped²⁹. ‘You know my name—Veronika. See, don’t you recognize me, Ernest? I am Veronika, whom you are going to marry. Oh, my loved one, you are ill. What can I do to make you well?’

“‘Tell me your surname,’ I said.

“‘My surname—why, Pathzuol. Oh, Ernest, say you know me.’

“‘And your father’s name?’

“‘My father—his name was Nicholas—but he is dead—died when I was a little girl. Oh, God, what does this mean?’

“‘Enough; come with me,’ said the devil whose victim I had become.

“I grasped her wrist and led her down the hallway. If Veronika was terrified, her terror could not have equaled mine. What deed was I now bent³⁰ upon committing? She followed me passively. The expression of her eyes made my soul ache within me. How I longed to speak to her and soothe³¹ her. How I longed to step between her and myself, to protect her from this maniac³² in whose power she was. To be obliged to stand by and see this thing enacted—imagine the agony I suffered.

“I led her down the hallway and into the dining-room. Then I released her wrist, and crossed over to the sideboard. I opened the sideboard drawer and took out a long, keen knife. I tried the point and the edge of the knife upon my thumb.

“‘Are you—are you going to kill me, Ernest?’ I heard Veronika ask, very low.

“‘Yes, I am going to kill you. Lead the way to your bed-chamber.’

“Veronika’s hand clutched convulsively at her breast. She said nothing. She moved slowly back into the hall and thence into her bedroom, I following.

“‘Oh, for God’s sake, stop and think what you are doing,’ she cried out suddenly, turning and facing me at the threshold of her room. ‘Think, Ernest, that it is I, Veronika, whom you are going to kill. Think, oh my loved one, think how you will suffer if ever you come to and realize what you have done. Oh, is there no way for me to bring him to himself!’

“Presently she continued, ‘But tell me first what I have done.—Oh, I can not bear to die until I know that you don’t suspect me of having wronged you in any way. Oh, Ernest, oh, if you would only speak one word. Oh, my darling, do not kill me without speaking to me. Oh God, oh God! Oh, there, there, he is going to kill me; he will not speak to me. Oh, what have I done? Ernest, Ernest! Wake up—stop your arm—don’t strike me. Oh God, God, God!’

“After it was over I dried my hands upon my handkerchief, turned out the gas in the hall, locked the door on the outside, put the key into my pocket, and went away.”

What remains³³ for me to tell? The above is what Merivale read to me. The above is what I had written. Could I doubt its truth? I did not, I do not, at any rate.

I am informed that a man once tried for murder and acquitted³⁴ can not, as the lawyers put it, can not be placed in jeopardy³⁵ again. But I am enough of a Jew to believe in eye for eye and tooth for tooth. I shall see to it that I do not escape that penalty which the law would have imposed upon me, had the facts I am now aware of come out at my trial. I shall see to it that the murderer of Veronika Pathzuol meets with the punishment which his crime demands.

It has taken me a week to write out this account. I want the public to have it. No need to analyze³⁶ the motives³⁷ that prompt this wish. I shall confide³⁸ the MS. to my friend Merivale with directions that it be printed.

I do not think of any thing more that needs to be said.

THE END.

1 nausea   

n.作呕，恶心；极端的憎恶(或厌恶)

参考例句：

• Early pregnancy is often accompanied by nausea.怀孕期常有恶心的现象。
• He experienced nausea after eating octopus.吃了章鱼后他感到恶心。

2 clove   

n.丁香味

参考例句：

• If tired,smell a whiff of clove oil and it will wake you up.如果疲倦，闻上一点丁香油将令人清醒。
• A sweet-smell comes from roses and clove trees.丁香与玫瑰的香味扑鼻而来。

3 peal   

n.钟声；v.鸣响

参考例句：

• The bells of the cathedral rang out their loud peal.大教堂响起了响亮的钟声。
• A sudden peal of thunder leaves no time to cover the ears.迅雷不及掩耳。

4 gasps   

v.喘气( gasp的第三人称单数 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要

参考例句：

• He leant against the railing, his breath coming in short gasps. 他倚着栏杆，急促地喘气。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• My breaths were coming in gasps. 我急促地喘起气来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 upheaval   

n.胀起，(地壳)的隆起；剧变，动乱

参考例句：

• It was faced with the greatest social upheaval since World War Ⅱ.它面临第二次世界大战以来最大的社会动乱。
• The country has been thrown into an upheaval.这个国家已经陷入动乱之中。

6 climax   

n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点

参考例句：

• The fifth scene was the climax of the play.第五场是全剧的高潮。
• His quarrel with his father brought matters to a climax.他与他父亲的争吵使得事态发展到了顶点。

7 uproar   

n.骚动，喧嚣，鼎沸

参考例句：

• She could hear the uproar in the room.她能听见房间里的吵闹声。
• His remarks threw the audience into an uproar.他的讲话使听众沸腾起来。

8 subsided   

v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上

参考例句：

• After the heavy rains part of the road subsided. 大雨过后，部分公路塌陷了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• By evening the storm had subsided and all was quiet again. 傍晚， 暴风雨已经过去，四周开始沉寂下来。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 vertigo   

n.眩晕

参考例句：

• He had a dreadful attack of vertigo.他忽然头晕得厉害。
• If you have vertigo it seems as if the whole room is spinning round you.如果你头晕，就会觉得整个房间都旋转起来

10 consternation   

n.大为吃惊，惊骇

参考例句：

• He was filled with consternation to hear that his friend was so ill.他听说朋友病得那么厉害，感到非常震惊。
• Sam stared at him in consternation.萨姆惊恐不安地注视着他。

11 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

12 horrified   

a.(表现出)恐惧的

参考例句：

• The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
• We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。

13 paralysis   

n.麻痹(症)；瘫痪(症)

参考例句：

• The paralysis affects his right leg and he can only walk with difficulty.他右腿瘫痪步履维艰。
• The paralysis affects his right leg and he can only walk with difficulty.他右腿瘫痪步履维艰。

14 appalled   

v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的

参考例句：

• The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。
• They were appalled by the reports of the nuclear war. 他们被核战争的报道吓坏了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 precisely   

adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地

参考例句：

• It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
• The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。

16 severed   

v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂

参考例句：

• The doctor said I'd severed a vessel in my leg. 医生说我割断了腿上的一根血管。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• We have severed diplomatic relations with that country. 我们与那个国家断绝了外交关系。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 reigning   

adj.统治的，起支配作用的

参考例句：

• The sky was dark, stars were twinkling high above, night was reigning, and everything was sunk in silken silence. 天很黑，星很繁，夜阑人静。
• Led by Huang Chao, they brought down the reigning house after 300 years' rule. 在黄巢的带领下，他们推翻了统治了三百年的王朝。

18 frightful   

adj.可怕的；讨厌的

参考例句：

• How frightful to have a husband who snores!有一个发鼾声的丈夫多讨厌啊！
• We're having frightful weather these days.这几天天气坏极了。

19 incompetency   

n.无能力，不适当

参考例句：

• I have suffered a martyrdom from their incompetency and caprice. 他们的无能和任性折磨得我够受了。 来自辞典例句

20 repent   

v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔

参考例句：

• He has nothing to repent of.他没有什么要懊悔的。
• Remission of sins is promised to those who repent.悔罪者可得到赦免。

21 volition   

n.意志；决意

参考例句：

• We like to think that everything we do and everything we think is a product of our volition.我们常常认为我们所做和所想的一切都出自自己的意愿。
• Makin said Mr Coombes had gone to the police of his own volition.梅金说库姆斯先生是主动去投案的。

22 reassure   

v.使放心，使消除疑虑

参考例句：

• This seemed to reassure him and he continued more confidently.这似乎使他放心一点，于是他更有信心地继续说了下去。
• The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe.航空公司尽力让乘客相信飞机是安全的。

23 impelled   

v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He felt impelled to investigate further. 他觉得有必要作进一步调查。
• I feel impelled to express grave doubts about the project. 我觉得不得不对这项计划深表怀疑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

24 usurped   

篡夺，霸占( usurp的过去式和过去分词 )； 盗用； 篡夺，篡权

参考例句：

• That magazine usurped copyrighted material. 那杂志盗用了版权为他人所有的素材。
• The expression'social engineering'has been usurped by the Utopianist without a shadow of light. “社会工程”这个词已被乌托邦主义者毫无理由地盗用了。

25 besought   

v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词)

参考例句：

• The prisoner besought the judge for mercy/to be merciful. 囚犯恳求法官宽恕[乞求宽大]。 来自辞典例句
• They besought him to speak the truth. 他们恳求他说实话. 来自辞典例句

26 stonily   

石头地，冷酷地

参考例句：

• She stared stonily at him for a minute. 她冷冷地盯着他看了片刻。
• Proudly lined up on a long bench, they stonily awaited their victims. 轿夫们把花炮全搬出来，放在门房里供人们赏鉴。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

27 anguish   

n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼

参考例句：

• She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时，她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
• The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。

28 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

29 gasped   

v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要

参考例句：

• She gasped at the wonderful view. 如此美景使她惊讶得屏住了呼吸。
• People gasped with admiration at the superb skill of the gymnasts. 体操运动员的高超技艺令人赞叹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

30 bent   

n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的

参考例句：

• He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
• We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。

31 soothe   

v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承

参考例句：

• I've managed to soothe him down a bit.我想方设法使他平静了一点。
• This medicine should soothe your sore throat.这种药会减轻你的喉痛。

32 maniac   

n.精神癫狂的人；疯子

参考例句：

• Be careful!That man is driving like a maniac!注意！那个人开车像个疯子一样！
• You were acting like a maniac,and you threatened her with a bomb!你像一个疯子，你用炸弹恐吓她！

33 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

34 acquitted   

宣判…无罪( acquit的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（自己）作出某种表现

参考例句：

• The jury acquitted him of murder. 陪审团裁决他谋杀罪不成立。
• Five months ago she was acquitted on a shoplifting charge. 五个月前她被宣判未犯入店行窃罪。

35 jeopardy   

n.危险；危难

参考例句：

• His foolish behaviour may put his whole future in jeopardy.他愚蠢的行为可能毁了他一生的前程。
• It is precisely at this juncture that the boss finds himself in double jeopardy.恰恰在这个关键时刻，上司发现自己处于进退两难的境地。

36 analyze   

vt.分析，解析 (=analyse)

参考例句：

• We should analyze the cause and effect of this event.我们应该分析这场事变的因果。
• The teacher tried to analyze the cause of our failure.老师设法分析我们失败的原因。

37 motives   

n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• to impeach sb's motives 怀疑某人的动机
• His motives are unclear. 他的用意不明。

38 confide   

v.向某人吐露秘密

参考例句：

• I would never readily confide in anybody.我从不轻易向人吐露秘密。
• He is going to confide the secrets of his heart to us.他将向我们吐露他心里的秘密。