Chapter 16 ELEANOR: TRUTH TELLING

Windsor Castle July 1172 Alais rushed into my antechamber from the outer hallway as if the devil himself were on her heels. I knew then that she must have seen my son with his lover. The niche¹ in the outer hallway was a favorite of Richard’s trysting places, as it was for half the court. Even Alais had known of this niche, though she had never used it herself. No, she took her ease with my husband by the riverside, in full view of his men. Alais froze in my doorway², as a rabbit does before it runs. She, too, would run from her pain, but it would catch her in the end. Better to face it, and know herself. Men brought pain as the spring brought rain, my son included. I remembered the day I had known that even Henry would stray from me. I had absorbed my pain, and lived with it, but in those days Henry had known me well, and had seen the pain on me as he would have seen a bruise³. I covered it from others, but then I could hide nothing from him. “Would you rather return to Louis?” he asked me. “He would never take a lover.” “No,” I said. “He never did.” “And yet you chose me,” Henry said. I had seen my choice, and knew what path I would take. I reached for Henry’s hand, and drew him with me onto my bed of furs. “I choose you,” I said. I took Alais’ arm and she followed me, away from the sight of Richard hiding from the rest of the world with another woman. Alais sat in the chair I offered her, her face as pale as I had ever seen it. Her eyes were vacant, lost, and I knew that I would have to take her in hand. If she thought to marry among my men, she had better learn to take what comes. “Alais,” I said, “you saw something you did not like.” “Richard,” she said. She closed her mouth and did not speak again. I sat beside her and waited, sipping⁴ my own wine.
She did not drink her wine, but held the golden goblet⁵ between her hands, as if it were the last connection she had to earth. I took it from her and set it on my table. I drew my chair close to her, and took her hand. “You saw Richard with my woman Margaret.” She met my eyes, and I saw that she was older than she looked. She understood me. “You knew.” she said. “You’ve always known.” “Alais, if you mean that I knew my son took women to his bed, you are correct.” I let her take this information in. She sat once more in silence, her great brown eyes wounded as they had been on the day I took her hunting, and that bird had bled out its life on Richard’s glove. Fury rose in me, that she would be so weak. I had trained her to see the world as it was. I blamed the Church and all its teachings for this. “Did you truly expect fidelity⁶, Alais? Richard is a good man, the best man I have ever known. But what is true of all men is true even of my favorite son.” I sat back against the cushions of my chair and watched her, my anger behind my teeth. I saw the political value of all this. I think I saw it first, as I see everything, as a tool to be used to shore up my power. This pain of Alais’ could be used as a wedge. I might drive it between them, if I had the need. I might support their marriage while keeping them apart, separate from each other in any real sense, and both dependent on me. I saw this, as I would see the next move laid out on my chess table before I lifted my chosen pawn⁷. I felt my heart twist within me. I wanted Alais to be stronger than that. I wanted her to let it go, to become the kind of woman I had always been. The woman I had been since the age of fifteen, when I had looked in Louis’ eyes and known that my husband loved me, and I did not love him. She would join me in the here and now. I would see to it that she chose to live in the world. She was my daughter in truth, and I would prove it, both to her and to myself. I spoke⁸ harshly to her, more harshly than I had ever spoken to her in my life. I watched as tears sprang into her eyes. She drew her handkerchief from her sleeve, the one that bore my crest⁹. She wept openly, but I did not hold back. I loved her, but I loved Richard, too. “All men take lovers. No man, save your sainted father, lives without whores. And Louis would barely rouse himself to sleep with me, his lawful¹⁰ wife.” Alais stood when I said that; fury blazed in her eyes, burning up her tears. For a moment I thought she would cast my wine in my face. But she was my daughter. She stepped back from me, her control fleeting¹¹ but steady. Her goblet of wine stayed where it was. “It means little to you who sleeps with my son,” I said. I stood to face her. She was a little taller than she had been a few months ago. She had grown since I had brought her out of the nunnery. She could almost meet my eyes without raising her chin. For some reason, this filled me with pride, even as I fought down my rage. “Whether Richard sleeps with men or women or dogs, it can mean nothing to you. You will be his wife. You will bear his children, and give him an heir. You will reign¹² as the Duchess of Aquitaine at his side. Your alliance is a political one. Alais, you have given your life to it. You knew that already.” “He said he loved only me.” Her tears were dry then, and my fury drained away, as water from a broken jar. I wanted to reach for her, but knew it was too soon. I held back, and watched her as she wiped the salt from her cheeks, and carefully folded the handkerchief I had given her, placing it once more in her sleeve. I watched her gain control of herself, her passion spent, her inner fire banked. My heart surged within me, with pride and pain: pride that she was after all as strong as I had ever known her to be, and pain that she suffered so, as all women suffer, and I could do nothing. We all must walk this path. Sooner or later all women must learn their place in the world of men. Only then can that place be remade, to suit ourselves. But we must first see the world as it is. “Richard does love you, Alais. More than I have ever seen him love another, more than any woman that he has ever hoped to take into his bed. But Richard is still a man. Men are what they are. Even my son. You must learn to live in the world.” She met my eyes, and I thought for a moment that she would be reconciled, that she would sit with me and drink my wine, that she would let me hold her hand. But she did none of these things. Instead, Alais walked to the outer door. I thought she might leave me in silence, without a curtsy, without being dismissed. But she turned back and looked at me, and I saw once more how truly young she was. “I will not live in that world,” she said. And then she was gone, my door left standing¹³ open behind her. I did not move, but let my ladies come to me, surrounding me as an incoming tide. They brought chatter¹⁴ and fresh fruit. Amaria took my arm and led me back to my chair. Only when I saw her face did I know that my wound showed on mine. I smiled then, and laughed, and called for more wine. Bertrand came in and played for us without being asked, and Angeline and Mathilde got up to dance. I saw that my women meant to distract me; they knew something had passed between me and my favorite. As I watched, I saw that they did not know what. We had remembered ourselves that far, at least. We had kept our voices down, knowing always that the walls of every castle have ears.

1 niche   

n.壁龛；合适的职务(环境、位置等)

参考例句：

• Madeleine placed it carefully in the rocky niche. 玛德琳小心翼翼地把它放在岩石壁龛里。
• The really talented among women would always make their own niche.妇女中真正有才能的人总是各得其所。

2 doorway   

n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径

参考例句：

• They huddled in the shop doorway to shelter from the rain.他们挤在商店门口躲雨。
• Mary suddenly appeared in the doorway.玛丽突然出现在门口。

3 bruise   

n.青肿，挫伤；伤痕；vt.打青；挫伤

参考例句：

• The bruise was caused by a kick.这伤痕是脚踢的。
• Jack fell down yesterday and got a big bruise on his face.杰克昨天摔了一跤，脸上摔出老大一块淤斑。

4 sipping   

v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• She sat in the sun, idly sipping a cool drink. 她坐在阳光下懒洋洋地抿着冷饮。
• She sat there, sipping at her tea. 她坐在那儿抿着茶。

5 goblet   

n.高脚酒杯

参考例句：

• He poured some wine into the goblet.他向高脚酒杯里倒了一些葡萄酒。
• He swirled the brandy around in the huge goblet.他摇晃着高脚大玻璃杯使里面的白兰地酒旋动起来。

6 fidelity   

n.忠诚，忠实；精确

参考例句：

• There is nothing like a dog's fidelity.没有什么能比得上狗的忠诚。
• His fidelity and industry brought him speedy promotion.他的尽职及勤奋使他很快地得到晋升。

7 pawn   

n.典当，抵押，小人物，走卒；v.典当，抵押

参考例句：

• He is contemplating pawning his watch.他正在考虑抵押他的手表。
• It looks as though he is being used as a political pawn by the President.看起来他似乎被总统当作了政治卒子。

8 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

9 crest   

n.顶点；饰章；羽冠；vt.达到顶点；vi.形成浪尖

参考例句：

• The rooster bristled his crest.公鸡竖起了鸡冠。
• He reached the crest of the hill before dawn.他于黎明前到达山顶。

10 lawful   

adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的

参考例句：

• It is not lawful to park in front of a hydrant.在消火栓前停车是不合法的。
• We don't recognised him to be the lawful heir.我们不承认他为合法继承人。

11 fleeting   

adj.短暂的，飞逝的

参考例句：

• The girls caught only a fleeting glimpse of the driver.女孩们只匆匆瞥了一眼司机。
• Knowing the life fleeting,she set herself to enjoy if as best as she could.她知道这种日子转瞬即逝，于是让自已尽情地享受。

12 reign   

n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势

参考例句：

• The reign of Queen Elizabeth lapped over into the seventeenth century.伊丽莎白王朝延至17世纪。
• The reign of Zhu Yuanzhang lasted about 31 years.朱元璋统治了大约三十一年。

13 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

14 chatter   

vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战

参考例句：

• Her continuous chatter vexes me.她的喋喋不休使我烦透了。
• I've had enough of their continual chatter.我已厌烦了他们喋喋不休的闲谈。