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Chapter 11
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The time had now come for Peter to be removed to Oxford1. Amid all the novelty, the unimagined comfort and dignity, the beginning of new and exciting friendships, the first encounter with men of learning and position, Peter kept always a region of himself apart, whither he retired2 to dream of Miranda. He wrote her long and impassioned letters, pouring forth3 a flood of impetuous imagery wherein her kinship with all intense and lovely things persisted in a thousand shapes. But gradually, under many influences, a change prepared.

First, there was his contact with the intellectual life of Gamaliel. His inquisitive4 idealism gradually came down from heaven, summoned to definite earth by the ordered wisdom of Oxford. He had lately striven to catch, in a net of words, inexpressible beauty and elusive5 thought. But his desire to push expression to the limit of the comprehensible; his gift of nervous, pictorial6 speech; the crowding truths, half seen, that filled his brain were now opposed and estimated according to sure knowledge and the standards which measure a successful examinee. Truth, for ever about to show her face, at whose unsubstantial robe Peter had sometimes caught, now appeared formal, severe, gowned, and reading a schedule. All the knowledge of the world, it seemed, had been reduced to[Pg 68] categories. Style was something that dead authors had once achieved. It could be ranged in periods and schools, some of which might with advantage be imitated. Peter found that concerning all things there were points of view. An acquaintance with these points of view and an ability rapidly to number them was almost the only kind of excellence7 his masters were able to reward.

The result of Peter's contact with the tidy, well-appointed wisdom of Gamaliel was disastrous8. His imagination, starting adventurously9 into the unknown, was systematically10 checked. This or that question he was asking of the Sphinx was already answered. He fell from heaven upon a passage of Hegel or a theory of Westermarck.

Peter quickened his disillusion11 by the energy and zeal12 of his reading. He threw himself hungrily upon his books, and gloried in the ease with which wisdom could be won and stored for reference. His ardour for conquest, by map and ruler, of the kingdoms of knowledge lasted well through his first term. Only obscurely was he conscious of clipped wings.

Hard physical exercise also played a part in bringing Peter to the ground. He was put into training for the river, and was soon filled with a keen interest in his splendid thews. Stretched at length in the evening, warm with triumphant13 mastery of some theorem concerning the Absolute First Cause, Peter saw himself as typically a live intellectual animal. Less and less did he live in[Pg 69] outer space. He began athletically14 to tread the earth.

Then, too, Peter made many friends—friends who in some ways were older than he. He thought of Miranda as an elfin girl, but his friends talked of women in a way Peter had never heard. For Peter sex had been one of the things which he seemed always to have known. It had not insistently15 troubled him. He now encountered it in the conversation of his friends as something stealthily comic, perturbing16 and curiously17 attractive. He did not actively18 join in these conversations, but they affected19 him.

The week slid away, and term was virtually at an end. Peter sat alone in his room with Miranda's last letter. In his ears the rhythm of oars20 and the hum of cold wet air yet remained, drowning the small noises of the fire. Miranda's letter was bitterly reproachful—glowing at the top heat of a lovers' quarrel. Miranda felt Peter's absence more than he could do. She now had nothing but Peter, and already she was a woman. Unconsciously she resented Peter's imaginative ecstasies21. She wanted him to hold and to see. When he answered her from the clouds she was desolate22. Moreover, Peter wrote much of his work and play; and Miranda, afraid and jealous of the life he was leading in Oxford, was tinder for the least spark of difference.

The letter Peter held in his hand was all wounded passion. He could see her tears and the[Pg 70] droop23 of her mouth trembling with anger. He had neglected a request she had made. He had written instead a description of the boat he had helped to victory. Something in Miranda's letter—something he had not felt before—caught suddenly at a need in him as yet unknown. He realised all at once that he wanted her to be physically24 there. He read again her burning phrases and felt the call to him of her thwarted25 hunger—felt it clearly beneath her superficial estrangement26 and reproach. He flung himself desperately27 back into his chair and remained for a moment still. Then he sprang up and wandered restlessly in the dim room, at last pausing by the mantelpiece and turning the lamp upon her photograph. It had caught the full, enigmatic curve of her mouth, breaking into her familiar sad smile. Peter was abruptly28 invaded with a secret wish, his blood singing in his ears, his heart throbbing29 painfully, a longing30 to make his peace possessing him. He felt curiously weak—almost as if he might fall. The room was twisting under his eyes. He flexed31 his muscles and closed his eyes in pain. Then, in deep relief, he, in fancy, bent32 forward and kissed her.

He decided33 to plead with her face to face, and he let pass the intervening day in a luxury of anticipation34. He dwelled, as he had not before, on her physical grace. He would sweep away all her sorrow in passionate35 words uttered upon her lips.

[Pg 71]

He reached his uncle's house by an earlier train than was expected. His mother was not at home, and he went to his room unchallenged. Out on the balcony the wind roared to him through the bare trees. It was warm for a December evening, and very dark. He looked towards Miranda's house—a darker spot on the dark; for there was no light in the windows. It thrilled him to see how dark it was; and as he went through the garden towards her, with the wind about him like a cloak, drawn36 close and impeding37 him, he was glad of the freedom and secrecy38 it seemed to promise. He could call aloud in that dark wind, and his words were snatched away. His lips and face were trembling, but it did not matter, for the darkness covered them.

At last he stood by the house. The door was half-open. His fancy leaped at Miranda waiting for him. He had only to enter, and he pressed in her comfortable arms.

He pushed open the door, and a hollow echo ran into many rooms and died away upstairs. He was sensible now, in shelter from the wind, of a stillness he had never known. It shot into him a quick terror. As he stood and listened, he could hear water dripping into a cistern39 somewhere in the roof. The door was blown violently shut, and the report echoed as in a cavern40. The house was empty.

Peter lighted a match, and held it above his head. He saw that the linoleum41 had been torn[Pg 72] from the floor; that the kitchen was empty of furniture; that the dust and rubbish of removal lay in the four corners. The match burnt his fingers and went out. Every sensation died in Peter. He stood in the darkness, hearing small noises of water, the light patter of soot42 dislodged from the chimney, the creak and rustle43 of a house deserted44.

When his eyes were used to the dark, he moved towards a glimmer45 from the hall-door. He could not yet believe what he saw. He expected the silence of his dream to break. Mechanically he went through the house, standing46 at last under the eaves of Miranda's attic-room. His eyes, straining to the far corner, traced the white outline of the sloping ceiling. He stood where Miranda had so often slept, a wall's breadth from himself.

The water dripped pitilessly in the roof, and Peter, poor model of an English boy, lay in grief, utterly47 abandoned, his clenched48 hands beating the naked floor.

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1 Oxford Wmmz0a     
n.牛津(英国城市)
参考例句:
  • At present he has become a Professor of Chemistry at Oxford.他现在已是牛津大学的化学教授了。
  • This is where the road to Oxford joins the road to London.这是去牛津的路与去伦敦的路的汇合处。
2 retired Njhzyv     
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的
参考例句:
  • The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
  • Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。
3 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
4 inquisitive s64xi     
adj.求知欲强的,好奇的,好寻根究底的
参考例句:
  • Children are usually inquisitive.小孩通常很好问。
  • A pat answer is not going to satisfy an inquisitive audience.陈腔烂调的答案不能满足好奇的听众。
5 elusive d8vyH     
adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的
参考例句:
  • Try to catch the elusive charm of the original in translation.翻译时设法把握住原文中难以捉摸的风韵。
  • Interpol have searched all the corners of the earth for the elusive hijackers.国际刑警组织已在世界各地搜查在逃的飞机劫持者。
6 pictorial PuWy6     
adj.绘画的;图片的;n.画报
参考例句:
  • The had insisted on a full pictorial coverage of the event.他们坚持要对那一事件做详尽的图片报道。
  • China Pictorial usually sells out soon after it hits the stands.《人民画报》往往一到报摊就销售一空。
7 excellence ZnhxM     
n.优秀,杰出,(pl.)优点,美德
参考例句:
  • His art has reached a high degree of excellence.他的艺术已达到炉火纯青的地步。
  • My performance is far below excellence.我的表演离优秀还差得远呢。
8 disastrous 2ujx0     
adj.灾难性的,造成灾害的;极坏的,很糟的
参考例句:
  • The heavy rainstorm caused a disastrous flood.暴雨成灾。
  • Her investment had disastrous consequences.She lost everything she owned.她的投资结果很惨,血本无归。
9 adventurously 92b99d4f5c8ee03350f1e091f51387c8     
adv.爱冒险地
参考例句:
10 systematically 7qhwn     
adv.有系统地
参考例句:
  • This government has systematically run down public services since it took office.这一屆政府自上台以来系统地削减了公共服务。
  • The rainforest is being systematically destroyed.雨林正被系统地毀灭。
11 disillusion HtTxo     
vt.使不再抱幻想,使理想破灭
参考例句:
  • Do not say anything to disillusion them.别说什么叫他们泄气的话。
  • I'd hate to be the one to disillusion him.我不愿意成为那个让他幻想破灭的人。
12 zeal mMqzR     
n.热心,热情,热忱
参考例句:
  • Revolutionary zeal caught them up,and they joined the army.革命热情激励他们,于是他们从军了。
  • They worked with great zeal to finish the project.他们热情高涨地工作,以期完成这个项目。
13 triumphant JpQys     
adj.胜利的,成功的;狂欢的,喜悦的
参考例句:
  • The army made a triumphant entry into the enemy's capital.部队胜利地进入了敌方首都。
  • There was a positively triumphant note in her voice.她的声音里带有一种极为得意的语气。
14 athletically a52ec8b3cd91480aa2ba2f5ff2d79713     
adv.竞赛地,运动比赛地,具运动员风范地
参考例句:
  • Tall, athletically built, but with a slight, shy stoop to his shoulders. 高个子,运动员身材,但有点轻微的水蛇腰。 来自互联网
  • She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased. 她不讨厌体育频道,只是对运动有些偏见。 来自互联网
15 insistently Iq4zCP     
ad.坚持地
参考例句:
  • Still Rhett did not look at her. His eyes were bent insistently on Melanie's white face. 瑞德还是看也不看她,他的眼睛死死地盯着媚兰苍白的脸。
  • These are the questions which we should think and explore insistently. 怎样实现这一主体性等问题仍要求我们不断思考、探索。
16 perturbing 6a75faaac786ed3502e1977d64922ba6     
v.使(某人)烦恼,不安( perturb的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • There had been an incident which was perturbing. 曾经出了一点令人不安的事故。 来自辞典例句
17 curiously 3v0zIc     
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地
参考例句:
  • He looked curiously at the people.他好奇地看着那些人。
  • He took long stealthy strides. His hands were curiously cold.他迈着悄没声息的大步。他的双手出奇地冷。
18 actively lzezni     
adv.积极地,勤奋地
参考例句:
  • During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
  • We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。
19 affected TzUzg0     
adj.不自然的,假装的
参考例句:
  • She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
  • His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。
20 oars c589a112a1b341db7277ea65b5ec7bf7     
n.桨,橹( oar的名词复数 );划手v.划(行)( oar的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • He pulled as hard as he could on the oars. 他拼命地划桨。
  • The sailors are bending to the oars. 水手们在拼命地划桨。 来自《简明英汉词典》
21 ecstasies 79e8aad1272f899ef497b3a037130d17     
狂喜( ecstasy的名词复数 ); 出神; 入迷; 迷幻药
参考例句:
  • In such ecstasies that he even controlled his tongue and was silent. 但他闭着嘴,一言不发。
  • We were in ecstasies at the thought of going home. 一想到回家,我们高兴极了。
22 desolate vmizO     
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂
参考例句:
  • The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
  • We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后,我们都觉得万分孤寂。
23 droop p8Zyd     
v.低垂,下垂;凋萎,萎靡
参考例句:
  • The heavy snow made the branches droop.大雪使树枝垂下来。
  • Don't let your spirits droop.不要萎靡不振。
24 physically iNix5     
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律
参考例句:
  • He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服,心绪也很乱。
  • Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。
25 thwarted 919ac32a9754717079125d7edb273fc2     
阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 ); 使受挫折; 挫败; 横过
参考例句:
  • The guards thwarted his attempt to escape from prison. 警卫阻扰了他越狱的企图。
  • Our plans for a picnic were thwarted by the rain. 我们的野餐计划因雨受挫。
26 estrangement 5nWxt     
n.疏远,失和,不和
参考例句:
  • a period of estrangement from his wife 他与妻子分居期间
  • The quarrel led to a complete estrangement between her and her family. 这一争吵使她同家人完全疏远了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
27 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
28 abruptly iINyJ     
adv.突然地,出其不意地
参考例句:
  • He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
  • I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。
29 throbbing 8gMzA0     
a. 跳动的,悸动的
参考例句:
  • My heart is throbbing and I'm shaking. 我的心在猛烈跳动,身子在不住颤抖。
  • There was a throbbing in her temples. 她的太阳穴直跳。
30 longing 98bzd     
n.(for)渴望
参考例句:
  • Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
  • His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。
31 flexed 703e75e8210e20f0cb60ad926085640e     
adj.[医]曲折的,屈曲v.屈曲( flex的过去式和过去分词 );弯曲;(为准备大干而)显示实力;摩拳擦掌
参考例句:
  • He stretched and flexed his knees to relax himself. 他伸屈膝关节使自己放松一下。 来自辞典例句
  • He flexed his long stringy muscles manfully. 他孔武有力地弯起膀子,显露出细长条的肌肉。 来自辞典例句
32 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的
参考例句:
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
33 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
34 anticipation iMTyh     
n.预期,预料,期望
参考例句:
  • We waited at the station in anticipation of her arrival.我们在车站等着,期待她的到来。
  • The animals grew restless as if in anticipation of an earthquake.各种动物都变得焦躁不安,像是感到了地震即将发生。
35 passionate rLDxd     
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的
参考例句:
  • He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
  • He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。
36 drawn MuXzIi     
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
参考例句:
  • All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
  • Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
37 impeding 8qtzd2     
a.(尤指坏事)即将发生的,临近的
参考例句:
  • Fallen rock is impeding the progress of rescue workers. 坠落的石头阻滞了救援人员的救援进程。
  • Is there sufficient room for the kiosk and kiosk traffic without impeding other user traffic? 该环境下是否有足够的空间来摆放信息亭?信息亭是否会妨碍交通或者行走? 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
38 secrecy NZbxH     
n.秘密,保密,隐蔽
参考例句:
  • All the researchers on the project are sworn to secrecy.该项目的所有研究人员都按要求起誓保守秘密。
  • Complete secrecy surrounded the meeting.会议在绝对机密的环境中进行。
39 cistern Uq3zq     
n.贮水池
参考例句:
  • The cistern is empty but soon fills again.蓄水池里现在没水,但不久就会储满水的。
  • The lavatory cistern overflowed.厕所水箱的水溢出来了
40 cavern Ec2yO     
n.洞穴,大山洞
参考例句:
  • The cavern walls echoed his cries.大山洞的四壁回响着他的喊声。
  • It suddenly began to shower,and we took refuge in the cavern.天突然下起雨来,我们在一个山洞里避雨。
41 linoleum w0cxk     
n.油布,油毯
参考例句:
  • They mislaid the linoleum.他们把油毡放错了地方。
  • Who will lay the linoleum?谁将铺设地板油毡?
42 soot ehryH     
n.煤烟,烟尘;vt.熏以煤烟
参考例句:
  • Soot is the product of the imperfect combustion of fuel.煤烟是燃料不完全燃烧的产物。
  • The chimney was choked with soot.烟囱被煤灰堵塞了。
43 rustle thPyl     
v.沙沙作响;偷盗(牛、马等);n.沙沙声声
参考例句:
  • She heard a rustle in the bushes.她听到灌木丛中一阵沙沙声。
  • He heard a rustle of leaves in the breeze.他听到树叶在微风中发出的沙沙声。
44 deserted GukzoL     
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的
参考例句:
  • The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
  • The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。
45 glimmer 5gTxU     
v.发出闪烁的微光;n.微光,微弱的闪光
参考例句:
  • I looked at her and felt a glimmer of hope.我注视她,感到了一线希望。
  • A glimmer of amusement showed in her eyes.她的眼中露出一丝笑意。
46 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
47 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
48 clenched clenched     
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
  • She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上,以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》


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