11th April

Dearest Daddy,

Will you please forgive me for the letter I wrote you yesterday?
After I posted it I was sorry, and tried to get it back, but that
beastly mail clerk wouldn't give it back to me.

It's the middle of the night now; I've been awake for hours
thinking what a Worm I am--what a Thousand-legged Worm--
and that's the worst I can say! I've closed the door very softly
into the study so as not to wake Julia and Sallie, and am sitting
up in bed writing to you on paper torn out of my history note-book.

I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry I was so impolite
about your cheque. I know you meant it kindly¹, and I think you're
an old dear to take so much trouble for such a silly thing as a hat.
I ought to have returned it very much more graciously².

But in any case, I had to return it. It's different with me than
with other girls. They can take things naturally from people.
They have fathers and brothers and aunts and uncles; but I can't
be on any such relations with any one. I like to pretend that you
belong to me, just to play with the idea, but of course I know you
don't. I'm alone, really--with my back to the wall fighting the world--
and I get sort of gaspy when I think about it. I put it out of my mind,
and keep on pretending; but don't you see, Daddy? I can't accept
any more money than I have to, because some day I shall be wanting
to pay it back, and even as great an author as I intend to be won't
be able to face a PERFECTLY³ TREMENDOUS debt.

I'd love pretty hats and things, but I mustn't mortgage⁴ the future
to pay for them.

You'll forgive me, won't you, for being so rude? I have an awful
habit of writing impulsively⁵ when I first think things, and then
posting the letter beyond recall. But if I sometimes seem thoughtless⁶
and ungrateful, I never mean it. In my heart I thank you always
for the life and freedom and independence that you have given me.
My childhood was just a long, sullen⁷ stretch of revolt, and now I am
so happy every moment of the day that I can't believe it's true.
I feel like a made-up heroine in a story-book.

It's a quarter past two. I'm going to tiptoe out to post this
off now. You'll receive it in the next mail after the other;
so you won't have a very long time to think bad of me.
Good night, Daddy,
I love you always,
Judy

1 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

2 graciously   

ad. 仁慈地,和蔼庄重地

参考例句：

• All the guests were graciously served at the party. 宴会上所有客人都受到殷勤款待。
• She graciously accepted my apology. 她很有风度地接受了我的道歉。

3 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

4 mortgage   

n.抵押，抵押贷款；vt.抵押

参考例句：

• He's having a lot of trouble paying his mortgage every month.他付每月的抵押借款利息有很大的困难。
• The bank refused to accept any mortgage on land.银行拒绝接受任何土地抵押。

5 impulsively   

adv.冲动地

参考例句：

• She leant forward and kissed him impulsively. 她倾身向前，感情冲动地吻了他。
• Every good, true, vigorous feeling I had gathered came impulsively round him. 我的一切良好、真诚而又强烈的感情都紧紧围绕着他涌现出来。

6 thoughtless   

adj.没有考虑的，无深虑的，轻率的

参考例句：

• It was thoughtless of you to forget your sister's birthday.你真粗心，把你姐姐的生日都给忘了。
• I wonder why you are so thoughtless of others.我很奇怪，你为何如此不替别人着想。

7 sullen   

adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的

参考例句：

• He looked up at the sullen sky.他抬头看了一眼阴沉的天空。
• Susan was sullen in the morning because she hadn't slept well.苏珊今天早上郁闷不乐，因为昨晚没睡好。