They were in Madge’s dressing-room, that spacious1, many-windowed chamber2, with its closed venetians, which was cool and shadowy even on a blazing August day like this. They were alone together, husband and wife, face to face, two white faces turned towards each other, blanched3 by passions stronger and deeper than it is man’s common lot to suffer.
They had come here straight from the carriage that brought them back to the Manor4 House, and they were alone for the first moment since Madge had heard Rebecca Mason’s petition.
‘Churchill,’ she said slowly, with agonized5 eyes lifted to his face, ‘I know all—all that woman could tell; and she showed me——’
She stopped, shuddering6, and clasped her hands before her face. Her husband stood like a rock, and made no attempt to draw nearer to her. He stood aloof7 and waited.
‘I know all,’ she repeated, with a passionate8 sob9, ‘and I remember what I said when you asked me to be your wife. You were too poor—we were too poor. I could not marry you because of your poverty. It was my worldliness, my mercenary decision that influenced you, that urged you to——Oh, Churchill, half the fault was mine. God give me leave to bear half the burden of His anger.’
She flung herself upon her husband’s shoulder, and sobbed10 there, clinging to him more fondly than in their happiest hour, her arms clasping him round the neck, her face hidden upon his breast, with such love as only such a woman can feel—love which, supreme11 in itself, rises above every lesser12 influence.
‘What! you touch me, Madge! You come to my arms still; you shed compassionate13 tears upon my breast. Then I am not wholly lost. Vile14 as I am, there is comfort still. My love, my fond one, fortune gave me nothing so sweet as you.’
‘Oh, Churchill, why, why—?’ she sobbed.
He understood the question involved in that one broken word, hardly audible for the sobs15 that shook his wife’s frame.
‘Dearest, Fate was hard upon me, and I wanted you!’ he said, with a calmness that chilled her soul. ‘A good man would have trusted in Providence17, no doubt, and waited unrepiningly for life’s blessings18 until he was grey and old, and went down to his grave without ever having known earthly bliss19, taking with him some vague notion that he was to come into his estate somewhere else. I am not a good man. My passionate love and my scorn of poverty would not let me wait. I knew that, by one swift bold act—a wicked deed if you will, but not a cruel one, since every man must die once—I could win all I desired. Fortune had made two men’s lots flagitiously unequal. I balanced them.’
‘Oh, Churchill, it is awful to hear you speak like that. Surely you have repented21—surely all your life must be poisoned with regret.’
‘Yes, I have felt the canker called remorse22. I could surrender all good things that earth can give—yes, let you go from these fond arms, beloved, if that which was done could be undone23. And now you will loathe24 me, and we must part.’
‘Part, Churchill! What, leave you because you are the most miserable25 of men? No, dearest, I will cling to you, and hold by you to the end of life, come what will. If it was I who tempted26 you to sin, you shall not bear your burden alone. Loathe you!’ she cried, passionately27, looking up at him with streaming eyes, ‘no, Churchill! I cannot think of that hideous28 secret without horror; I cannot think of the sinner without pity. There is a love that is stronger than the world’s favour, stronger than right, or peace, or honour, and such a love I have given you.’
‘My angel—my comforter! Would to God I had kept my soul spotless for your sake!’
‘And for our child, Churchill, for our darling. Oh, dearest, if there can be pardon for such a sin as yours—and Christ spoke29 words of mercy and promise to the thief on the cross—let us strive for it, strive with tears and prayers, and deepest penitence30. Oh, my love, believe in a God of mercy, the God who sent His Son to preach repentance31 to sinners. Love, let us kneel together to that offended God, let us sue for mercy, side by side.’
Her husband drew her closer to his breast, kissed the pale lips with unspeakable tenderness, looked into the true brave eyes which did not shrink from his gaze.
‘Even I, who have had you for my wife, did not know the divinity of a woman’s love—until this miserable hour. My dearest, even to comfort you, I cannot add deliberate blasphemy32 to my sins. I cannot kneel, or pray to a Power in which my faith is of the weakest. Keep your gentle creed33, dearest, adore your God of mercy—but I have hardened my heart against these things too long to find comfort in them now. My one glory, my one consolation34, is the thought that, lost as I am, I have not fallen too low for your love. You will love me and hold by me, knowing my sin; and let my one merit be that in this dark hour I have not lied to you. I have not striven to outweigh35 that woman’s accusation36 by some fable37 which your love might accept.’
‘No, Churchill, you have trusted me, and you shall find me worthy38 of your trust,’ she answered, bravely. ‘No act of mine shall ever betray you. And if you cannot pray—if God withholds39 the light of truth from you for a little while, my prayers shall ascend40 to Him like ever-burning incense41. My intercession shall never cease. My faith shall never falter42.’
He kissed her again without a word—too deeply moved for speech,—and then turned away from her and paced the room to and fro, while she went to her dressing-table, and looked wonderingly at the white wan16 face, which had beamed so brightly on her guests last night. She looked at herself thoughtfully, remembering that henceforward she had a part to act, and a fatal secret to keep. No wan looks, no tell-tale pallor must betray the horrid43 truth.
‘Madge,’ said her husband, presently, after two or three thoughtful turns up and down the room, ‘I have not one word to say to you in self-justification. I stand before you confessed, a sinner of the blackest dye. Yet you must not imagine that my whole life is of a colour with that one hideous act. It is not so. Till that hour my life had been blameless enough—more blameless perhaps than the career of one young man in twenty, in our modern civilization. Temptation to vulgar sins never assailed45 me. I was guiltless till that fatal hour in which my evil genius whispered the suggestion of a prize worth the price of crime. Macbeth was a brave and honourable46 soldier, you know, when the fatal sisters met him on the heath, and hissed47 their promise into his ear. And in that moment guilty hope seized upon his soul, and already in thought he was a murderer. Dearest, I have never been a profligate48, or cheat, or liar49, or coward. I have concentrated the wickedness which other men spread over a lifetime of petty sins in one great offence.’
‘And that shall be forgiven,’ cried Madge, with a sublime50 air of conviction. ‘It shall, if you will but repent20.’
‘If to wish an act undone is repentance, I have repented for more than two years,’ he answered. ‘Hark, love! that is the luncheon-bell. We must not alarm our friends by our absence. Or stay, I will go down to the dining-room. You had better remain here and rest. Poor agonized head, tender faithful heart, what bitter need of rest for both!’
‘No, dear, I will go down with you,’ Madge answered, firmly. ‘But let me ask one question first, Churchill, and then I will never speak to you more of our secret. That hateful woman—you have pacified51 her for to-day, but how long will she be satisfied? Is there any fear of new danger?’
‘I can see none, dearest. The woman was satisfied with her lot, and would never have given me any trouble but for this unlucky accident of her son’s attempt last night. I will get the man provided for and sent out of the country, where you shall never hear of him again. The woman is harmless enough, and cares little enough for her son; but that brute52 instinct of kindred, which even savages53 feel, made her fight for her cub54.’
‘Why did you bring her here, Churchill? Was that wise?’
‘I thought it best so. I thought it wise to have her at hand under my eye, where she could only assail44 me at close quarters, and where she was not likely to find confederates—where she could have all her desires gratified, and could have no motive55 for tormenting56 me.’
‘The Egyptians had a skeleton at their feasts, lest they should forget to make the most of their brief span of carnal pleasures. It is as well to be reminded of the poison in one’s cup of life.’
‘And now go to our guests, Churchill. Your face tells no tale. Say that I am coming almost immediately.’
‘No, Churchill; I shall begin as I mean to go on. If I were to shut myself up—if I were to give myself time for thought to-day—just at first—I should go mad.’
He went, half unwillingly60. She stood for a few moments, fixed61 to the spot where he had left her, as if lost in some awful dream, and then walked dizzily to the adjoining room, where she tried to wash the ashy pallor from her cheeks with cold spring water. She rearranged her hair, with hands that trembled despite her endeavour to be calm; changed her dress—fastened a scarlet62 coque in her dark hair, and went down to the dining-room, looking a little wan and fatigued63, but not less lovely than she was wont64 to look. What a mad world it seemed to her when she saw her guests assembled at the oval table, talking and laughing in that easy unreserved way which seems natural at the mid-day meal, when servants are banished65, and gentlemen perform the onerous66 office of carver at the loaded sideboard; when hungry people, just returned from long rambles67 over hills and banks where the wild thyme grows, or from a desperate croquet match, or a gallop68 across the moorland, devour69 a heterogeneous70 meal of sirloin, perigord pie, clotted71 cream, fruit, cutlets, and pastry72, and drink deeper draughts73 of that sparkling Devonian cider, better a hundred times than champagne74, than they would quite care to acknowledge, if a reckoning were demanded of them.
Everybody seemed especially noisy to-day—talk, flirtation75, laughter, made a Babel-like hubbub—and at the end of the table sat the Squire76 of Penwyn, calm, inscrutable, and no line upon the expansive forehead, with its scanty77 border of crisp, brown hair, showed the brand of Cain.
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1
spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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2
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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blanched
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| v.使变白( blanch的过去式 )；使（植物）不见阳光而变白；酸洗（金属）使有光泽；用沸水烫（杏仁等）以便去皮 | |
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manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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agonized
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| v.使（极度）痛苦，折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 )；苦斗；苦苦思索；感到极度痛苦 | |
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6
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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9
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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11
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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12
lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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13
compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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14
vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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15
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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16
wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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18
blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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20
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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repented
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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undone
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| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
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24
loathe
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| v.厌恶，嫌恶 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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26
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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27
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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29
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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30
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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31
repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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32
blasphemy
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| n.亵渎，渎神 | |
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33
creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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35
outweigh
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| vt.比...更重，...更重要 | |
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36
accusation
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| n.控告，指责，谴责 | |
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37
fable
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| n.寓言；童话；神话 | |
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38
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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39
withholds
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| v.扣留( withhold的第三人称单数 )；拒绝给予；抑制（某事物）；制止 | |
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40
ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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41
incense
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| v.激怒；n.香，焚香时的烟，香气 | |
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42
falter
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| vi.(嗓音)颤抖，结巴地说；犹豫；蹒跚 | |
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43
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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44
assail
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| v.猛烈攻击，抨击，痛斥 | |
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45
assailed
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| v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 )；困扰；质问；毅然应对 | |
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46
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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47
hissed
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| 发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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48
profligate
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| adj.行为不检的；n.放荡的人，浪子，肆意挥霍者 | |
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49
liar
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| n.说谎的人 | |
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50
sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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51
pacified
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| 使（某人）安静( pacify的过去式和过去分词 )； 息怒； 抚慰； 在（有战争的地区、国家等）实现和平 | |
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52
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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53
savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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54
cub
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| n.幼兽，年轻无经验的人 | |
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55
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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56
tormenting
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| 使痛苦的，使苦恼的 | |
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57
assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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59
fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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60
unwillingly
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| adv.不情愿地 | |
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61
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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62
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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63
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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64
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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65
banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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66
onerous
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| adj.繁重的 | |
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67
rambles
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| （无目的地）漫游( ramble的第三人称单数 )； （喻）漫谈； 扯淡； 长篇大论 | |
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68
gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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69
devour
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| v.吞没；贪婪地注视或谛听，贪读；使着迷 | |
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70
heterogeneous
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| adj.庞杂的；异类的 | |
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71
clotted
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| adj.凝结的v.凝固( clot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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72
pastry
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| n.油酥面团，酥皮糕点 | |
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73
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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74
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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75
flirtation
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| n.调情，调戏，挑逗 | |
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76
squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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77
scanty
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| adj.缺乏的，仅有的，节省的，狭小的，不够的 | |
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