"It's one o' them French books, isn't it, sir? I don't know one from another. Would you please step upstairs yourself? Miss Rhoda's in the drawing-room."
Diamond went upstairs and tapped at the door of the sitting-room2.
"Come in," said a soft, sweet voice, that seemed to him the most deliciously musical he had ever heard, and he entered.
The old room looked very different from what it had looked in the days when Matthew Diamond used to come there to read Latin and history with Algernon Errington. There were still the clumsy beams in the low ceiling, and the old-fashioned cushioned seats in the bay-window, but everything else was changed. A rich carpet covered the floor; there were handsome hangings, and a couch, and a French clock on the chimney-piece; there was a small pianoforte in the room, too; and, at one end, a bookcase well filled with gaily-bound books. These things were the products of old Max's money. But there were evidences about the place of taste and refinement3, which were due entirely4 to Rhoda. She had got a stand of hyacinths like those in Miss Bodkin's room. She had softened5 and hidden the glare of the bright, brand-new upholstery by dainty bits of lacework spread over the couch and the chairs; and she had, with some difficulty, persuaded her father to substitute for two staring coloured French lithographs6, which had decked the walls, a couple of good engravings after Italian pictures. There was a fire glowing redly in the grate, and the room was warm and fragrant7. Rhoda was curled up on the window-seat, with a book in her hand, and bending down her pretty head over it, until the soft brown curls swept the page.
Diamond stood still for a moment in the doorway8, admiring the graceful9 figure well defined against the light.
"Come in, Sally," said Rhoda. And then she looked up from her book and saw him.
"I'm afraid I disturb you!" said Diamond. "But the maid told me to come up."
"Oh no! I was just reading——"
"Straining your eyes by this twilight10! That's very wrong."
"Yes! I'm afraid it is not very wise, but I wanted to finish the chapter; and my eyes are really very strong."
"I thought you might be at church," said Diamond, seating himself on the opposite side of the bay-window, and within its recess11, "so I asked the maid to get me the book I wanted. But she sent me upstairs."
"Aunt Betty is at church, and James; but father wouldn't let me go. He said it was so raw and foggy, and I had been to church this morning."
"Yes; I saw you there. But have you not been well, that your father did not wish you to go out?"
"Oh yes; I'm very well, thank you. But I had a little cold last week; and I should have had to walk to St. Chad's and back, you know. Father doesn't think it right to drive on the Lord's day, so he made me stay at home."
"How very right of him! What were you reading?"
He drew a little nearer to her as he asked the question, and looked at the book she held.
"Oh, it's a Sunday book," said Rhoda, simply. "'The Pilgrim's Progress.' I like it very much."
"I wonder whether you will care to hear of some good news I had to-day?"
"Oh yes; I shall be very glad to hear it."
"I think I stand a good chance of getting the head-mastership of Dorrington Proprietary12 School. Dorrington is in the next county, you know."
"Oh! I'm very glad."
"It would be a very good position. I am not certain of it yet, you know; but Dr. Bodkin has been very friendly, and has promised to canvass13 the governing committee for me."
"Oh! I'm very glad indeed."
"I don't know yet myself whether I am very glad or not."
"Don't you?"
Rhoda looked up at him in genuine surprise; but her eyes fell before the answering look they encountered, and she blushed from brow to chin.
"No; it all depends on you, Rhoda, whether I am glad of it to the bottom of my heart, or whether I give it all up as a thing not worth striving for."
There was a pause, which Rhoda broke at length, because the silence embarrassed her unendurably.
"Oh, I don't think it can depend upon me, Mr. Diamond," she said, speaking in a little quivering voice that was barely audible; whilst, at the same time, she hurriedly turned over the pages of "The Pilgrim's Progress" with her eyes fixed14 on them, although she assuredly did not see one letter. Diamond gently drew the book from her hand and took the hand in his own.
"Yes, Rhoda," he said—and, having once called her so, his lips seemed to dwell lovingly on the sound of her name—"I think you do know! You must know that, if I look forward hopefully and happily to anything in my future life, it is only because I have a hope that you may be able to love me a little. I love you so much."
She trembled violently, but did not withdraw her hand from his clasp. She sat quite still with downcast eyes, neither moving nor looking to the right or the left.
"Rhoda! Rhoda! Won't you say one word to me?"
"I'm trying—thinking what I ought to say,'" she answered, almost in a whisper.
"Is it so difficult, Rhoda?"
She made a strong effort to command her voice, but she had not the courage to look full at him as she answered, "Yes; it is very difficult for me. I want to do right, Mr. Diamond. I want not to deceive you."
"I am very sure that you will not deceive me, Rhoda!"
"Not if I can help it. But it is so hard to say just the exact truth."
"I don't find it hard to say the exact truth to you. You may believe me implicitly15, Rhoda, when I say that I love you with all my heart, and will do my best to make you happy if you will let me."
"I do believe you. I believe you are really fond of me. Only—of course you are much cleverer and wiser than I am, except in thinking too much of me—and you can say just whatever is in your mind. But I can't; not all at once."
"I will wait, Rhoda. I will have patience, and not distress16 you."
The tears were falling down her cheeks now, not from sorrow, but from sheer agitation17. She thanked him by a gesture of her head, and drew her hand away from his very gently, and wiped her eyes. He could not command himself at sight of her tears, although he had resolved not to speak again until she should be calm and ready to hear him.
"My darling," he said, clasping his hands together and looking at her with eyes full of anxious compassion18, "don't cry! Is it my fault? You must have had some knowledge of what was in my heart to say to you! I have not startled you and taken you by surprise?"
"No; that's just it, Mr. Diamond. It's that that makes me feel so afraid of doing wrong and deceiving you. I—I—have thought for some time past that you were getting to like me very much. Some one said so too. But yet I couldn't do anything, could I? I couldn't say, 'Don't get fond of me, Mr. Diamond!'"
"It would have been quite in vain to say, 'Don't get fond of me.' I'm a desperately19 obstinate20 man, Rhoda!"
"So then I—I mean to tell you the exact truth, you know, as well as I can. I began to think whether I liked you very much."
"Well, Rhoda?"
There was a rather long silence.
"Well, I thought—yes, I did."
He clasped his arms round her with a sudden impetuous movement, but she held him off with her two hands on his shoulders. "No, but please listen! I did love somebody else once very much. Of course we were very young, and it was nonsense. But I did wrong in being secret, and keeping it from father. And I never want to be secret any more. And—though I do like you very much, and—and—I should be very sorry if you went away—yet it isn't quite the same that I felt before. That is the truth as well as I can say it, and I am very grateful to you for thinking so well of me."
He drew the young head with its soft shining chestnut21 curls down on to his breast, and pressed his lips to her cheek.
"Now you are mine, my very own—are you not, Rhoda?"
"Yes; if you like, Mr. Diamond."
Matthew Diamond had been successful in his wooing, after feeling very doubtful of success. And he should naturally have been elated in proportion to his previous trepidation22. And he was happy, of course; yet scarcely with the fulness of joyful23 triumph he had promised himself if pretty Rhoda should incline her ear to his suit. There was a subtle flavour of disappointment in it all. Rhoda had behaved very well, very honestly, in making that effort to be quite clear and candid24 about her feelings. It was a great thing to be able to feel perfect confidence in the woman who was to be his companion for life. And as to her loving him with the same fervour he felt towards her, that was not to be expected. He never had expected that. She was gentle, sweet, modest, thoroughly25 feminine, and exquisitely26 pretty. She was willing to give herself to him, and would doubtless be a true and affectionate wife. He held her slight waist in his arm, and her head rested confidingly27 on his bosom28. Of course he was very happy. Only—if only Rhoda were not quite so silent and cold; if she would say one little word of tenderness, or even nestle herself fondly against his shoulder without speaking!
Some such thoughts were vaguely29 flitting through Diamond's mind when Rhoda raised her head, and, emboldened30 by the gathering31 dusk, looked up into his face and said, "You know it cannot be unless father consents."
"I shall speak to him this evening. Do you think he will be stern and hard to persuade, Rhoda?"
"I don't know. He said once that he would like to—to—that he would like to know I had some one to take care of me."
"On that score I am not afraid of falling short. Your father could give his treasure to no man who would take more loving care of her than I!"
"And then you are a gentleman; and father thinks a great deal of that, although he makes no pretence32 at being anything more than a tradesman himself. And of course I am only a tradesman's daughter. I am greatly below you in station—I know that."
"My Rhoda! As if there could be any question of that between us! God knows I have been poor and obscure enough all my life. But now I shall be able to tell your father that I hope to have a home to offer you that will be at least not sordid33, and the position of a lady."
"I hope you won't repent34, Mr. Diamond."
"Repent! But, Rhoda, won't you call me by my name? Say Matthew, not Mr. Diamond."
"Yes; I will if you like. But I'm afraid I can't all at once. It seems so strange."
"I wish you liked my name one thousandth part as much as I love the sound of yours! It seems so sweet to be able to call you Rhoda."
"Oh, I like your name very much indeed. But I think, please, that you had better go now. The people are coming out of church, and Aunt Betty may be back at any moment; and I don't wish her to find you here before you have spoken to father."
Rhoda stood up as she said it, and Diamond had no choice but to rise too, and say farewell. He drew her gently towards him and kissed her. "Will you try to love me, Rhoda?" he said, in a tone of almost sad entreaty36. "Do you think you shall be able to love me a little?"
"I should not have accepted you if I felt that I could never be fond of you," returned Rhoda, and a little flush spread itself over her face as she spoke35. "But you know I have told you the truth. I have told you about——"
He put up his hand to check her. "Yes, yes; you have been quite candid and honourable37, and I won't be exacting38 or unreasonable39, or too impatient." He did not think he could endure to hear Rhoda, in her anxiety not to deceive him, recapitulate40 the confession41 of her "different feeling" for another man in days past; and yet he had known, or guessed, that it had been so.
Then he took his leave, an accepted lover; and he told himself that he was a very fortunate and happy man. As he passed the door of old Max's little parlour downstairs, he saw a light gleaming under the door into the almost dark passage. He stopped and tapped at the door. "Come in," said Jonathan Maxfield's harsh voice. And Diamond went into the parlour.
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1
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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2
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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3
refinement
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| n.文雅；高尚；精美；精制；精炼 | |
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4
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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6
lithographs
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| n.平版印刷品( lithograph的名词复数 ) | |
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7
fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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8
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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9
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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10
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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11
recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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12
proprietary
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| n.所有权，所有的；独占的；业主 | |
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13
canvass
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| v.招徕顾客，兜售；游说；详细检查，讨论 | |
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14
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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15
implicitly
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| adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
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16
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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17
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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18
compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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19
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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20
obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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21
chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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22
trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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23
joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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24
candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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25
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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26
exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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confidingly
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| adv.信任地 | |
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28
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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29
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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30
emboldened
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| v.鼓励，使有胆量( embolden的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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31
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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32
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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33
sordid
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| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
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34
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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35
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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36
entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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37
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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38
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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39
unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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40
recapitulate
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| v.节述要旨，择要说明 | |
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41
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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