SEPTEMBER 3.
I must away. Thank you, Wilhelm, for determining my wavering purpose. For a whole fortnight I have thought of leaving her. I must away. She has returned to town, and is at the house of a friend. And then, Albert -- yes, I must go.
SEPTEMBER 1O.
Oh, what a night, Wilhelm! I can henceforth bear anything. I shall never see her again. Oh, why cannot I fall on your neck, and, with floods of tears and raptures1, give utterance2 to all the passions which distract my heart! Here I sit gasping3 for breath, and struggling to compose myself. I wait for day, and at sunrise the horses are to be at the door.
And she is sleeping calmly, little suspecting that she has seen me for the last time. I am free. I have had the courage, in an interview of two hours' duration, not to betray my intention. And O Wilhelm, what a conversation it was!
Albert had promised to come to Charlotte in the garden immediately after supper. I was upon the terrace under the tall chestnut4 trees, and watched the setting sun. I saw him sink for the last time beneath this delightful5 valley and silent stream. I had often visited the same spot with Charlotte, and witnessed that glorious sight; and now -- I was walking up and down the very avenue which was so dear to me. A secret sympathy had frequently drawn6 me thither7 before I knew Charlotte; and we were delighted when, in our early acquaintance, we discovered that we each loved the same spot, which is indeed as romantic as any that ever captivated the fancy of an artist.
From beneath the chestnut trees, there is an extensive view. But I remember that I have mentioned all this in a former letter, and have described the tall mass of beech8 trees at the end, and how the avenue grows darker and darker as it winds its way among them, till it ends in a gloomy recess9, which has all the charm of a mysterious solitude10. I still remember the strange feeling of melancholy11 which came over me the first time I entered that dark retreat, at bright midday. I felt some secret foreboding that it would, one day, be to me the scene of some happiness or misery12.
I had spent half an hour struggling between the contending thoughts of going and returning, when I heard them coming up the terrace. I ran to meet them. I trembled as I took her hand, and kissed it. As we reached the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind the wooded hill. We conversed13 on many subjects, and, without perceiving it, approached the gloomy recess. Charlotte entered, and sat down. Albert seated himself beside her. I did the same, but my agitation14 did not suffer me to remain long seated. I got up, and stood before her, then walked backward and forward, and sat down again. I was restless and miserable15. Charlotte drew our attention to the beautiful effect of the moonlight, which threw a silver hue16 over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees. It was a glorious sight, and was rendered more striking by the darkness which surrounded the spot where we were. We remained for some time silent, when Charlotte observed, "Whenever I walk by moonlight, it brings to my remembrance all my beloved and departed friends, and I am filled with thoughts of death and futurity. We shall live again, Werther!" she continued, with a firm but feeling voice; "but shall we know one another again what do you think? what do you say?"
"Charlotte," I said, as I took her hand in mine, and my eyes filled with tears, "we shall see each other again -- here and hereafter we shall meet again." I could say no more. Why, Wilhelm, should she put this question to me, just at the monent when the fear of our cruel separation filled my heart?
"And oh! do those departed ones know how we are employed here? do they know when we are well and happy? do they know when we recall their memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of evening the shade of my mother hovers17 around me; when seated in the midst of my children, I see them assembled near me, as they used to assemble near her; and then I raise my anxious eyes to heaven, and wish she could look down upon us, and witness how I fulfil the promise I made to her in her last moments, to be a mother to her children. With what emotion do I then exclaim, 'Pardon, dearest of mothers, pardon me, if I do not adequately supply your place! Alas18! I do my utmost. They are clothed and fed; and, still better, they are loved and educated. Could you but see, sweet saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst us, you would glorify19 God with the warmest feelings of gratitude20, to whom, in your last hour, you addressed such fervent21 prayers for our happiness.'" Thus did she express herself; but O Wilhelm! who can do justice to her language? how can cold and passionless words convey the heavenly expressions of the spirit? Albert interrupted her gently. "This affects you too deeply, my dear Charlotte. I know your soul dwells on such recollections wlth intense delight; but I implore22 -- " "O Albert!" she continued, "I am sure you do not forget the evenings when we three used to sit at the little round table, when papa was absent, and the little ones had retired23. You often had a good book with you, but seldom read it; the conversation of that noble being was preferable to everything, -- that beautiful, bright, gentle, and yet ever-toiling woman. God alone knows how I have supplicated24 with tears on my nightly couch, that I might be like her."
I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand, bedewed it with a thousand tears. "Charlotte!" I exclaimed, "God's blessing25 and your mother's spirit are upon you." "Oh! that you had known her," she said, with a warm pressure of the hand. "She was worthy26 of being known to you." I thought I should have fainted: never had I received praise so flattering. She continued, "And yet she was doomed27 to die in the flower of her youth, when her youngest child was scarcely six months old. Her illness was but short, but she was calm and resigned; and it was only for her children, especially the youngest, that she felt unhappy. When her end drew nigh, she bade me bring them to her. I obeyed. The younger ones knew nothing of their approaching loss, while the elder ones were quite overcome with grief. They stood around the bed; and she raised her feeble hands to heaven, and prayed over them; then, kissing them in turn, she dismissed them, and said to me, 'Be you a mother to them.' I gave her my hand. 'You are promising28 much, my child,' she said: 'a mother's fondness and a mother's care! I have often witnessed, by your tears of gratitude, that you know what is a mother's tenderness: show it to your brothers and sisters, and be dutiful and faithful to your father as a wife; you will be his comfort.' She inquired for him. He had retired to conceal29 his intolerable anguish30, -- he was heartbroken, "Albert, you were in the room. She heard some one moving: she inquired who it was, and desired you to approach. She surveyed us both with a look of composure and satisfaction, expressive31 of her conviction that we should be happy, -- happy with one another." Albert fell upon her neck, and kissed her, and exclaimed, "We are so, and we shall be so!" Even Albert, generally so tranquil32, had quite lost his composure; and I was excited beyond expression.
"And such a being," She continued, "was to leave us, Werther! Great God, must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this world? Nobody felt this more acutely than the children: they cried and lamented33 for a long time afterward34, complaining that men had carried away their dear mamma."
Charlotte rose. It aroused me; but I continued sitting, and held her hand. "Let us go," she said: "it grows late." She attempted to withdraw her hand: I held it still. "We shall see each other again," I exclaimed: "we shall recognise each other under every possible change! I am going," I continued, "going willingly; but, should I say for ever, perhaps I may not keep my word. Adieu, Charlotte; adieu, Albert. We shall meet again." "Yes: tomorrow, I think," she answered with a smile. Tomorrow! how I felt the word! Ah! she little thought, when she drew her hand away from mine. They walked down the avenue. I stood gazing after them in the moonlight. I threw myself upon the ground, and wept: I then sprang up, and ran out upon the terrace, and saw, under the shade of the linden-trees, her white dress disappearing near the garden-gate. I stretched out my arms, and she vanished.
1 raptures | |
极度欢喜( rapture的名词复数 ) | |
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2 utterance | |
n.用言语表达,话语,言语 | |
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3 gasping | |
adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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4 chestnut | |
n.栗树,栗子 | |
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5 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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6 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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7 thither | |
adv.向那里;adj.在那边的,对岸的 | |
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8 beech | |
n.山毛榉;adj.山毛榉的 | |
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9 recess | |
n.短期休息,壁凹(墙上装架子,柜子等凹处) | |
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10 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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11 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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12 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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13 conversed | |
v.交谈,谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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14 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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15 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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16 hue | |
n.色度;色调;样子 | |
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17 hovers | |
鸟( hover的第三人称单数 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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18 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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19 glorify | |
vt.颂扬,赞美,使增光,美化 | |
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20 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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21 fervent | |
adj.热的,热烈的,热情的 | |
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22 implore | |
vt.乞求,恳求,哀求 | |
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23 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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24 supplicated | |
v.祈求,哀求,恳求( supplicate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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25 blessing | |
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿 | |
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26 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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27 doomed | |
命定的 | |
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28 promising | |
adj.有希望的,有前途的 | |
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29 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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30 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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31 expressive | |
adj.表现的,表达…的,富于表情的 | |
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32 tranquil | |
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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33 lamented | |
adj.被哀悼的,令人遗憾的v.(为…)哀悼,痛哭,悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34 afterward | |
adv.后来;以后 | |
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